RACING AROUND THE WORLD! FINALLY!

I think my neighbors think I'm crazy. I spent over 3 hours yelling at my television on Tuesday night. Between Deal or No Deal, American Idol, and The Race, I nearly went horse. Thank the Lords of Kobol for Tivo or else none of this would be possible. A programming note... Since there are eleven teams and I am trying to get some work done today, I can't go through every single team and their exact movements. As the teams dwindle I'll add more detail about every team's place in the pack. For now be assured that I'm giving you what I think are the highlights. If you want a recap of the teams, or want to reference who I'm talking about, follow this link...

http://primetimetvblog.blogspot.com/2006/01/amazing-race-is-amazing-again.html

The Race starts out like all others, introducing us to all of the teams. I really don't like many of them, right away, from the little back story we're treated to, but I'm going to hold off judgment until at least the middle of the show. BJ and Tyler, the hippies, look like they can be fun, and Wanda and Desiree, the mother/daughter, I find genuine. Also a fun team, Lisa and Joni, sisters. Good friends, Scott and John, look more like lovers. Scott tells us that his father calls John is tall daughter. Um, ok.

The teams are in the Mile High City and meet up at some famous landmark, the Red something or another, I forget, because it wasn't that interesting. Phil gives them the lowdown on how The Race works. He has a new haircut and I can't decide if I like it or not. It's sorta cute, but it's a bit square for his face. Anyway, yadda yadda yadda, you get money, you have to make your way places and eight destinations are eliminations. I tried to do math on how many that would be that are non-elimination, then I realized there is no math, I don't know how many episodes of the show there are.

Phil does a very dramatic, on your get mark, get set, go, and the teams run off to their waiting luggage and cars. You can immediately tell who's going to be the best racers. The poor old couple, Fran and Barry, take their sweet old time getting to their back packs. The clue tells the teams to get to the airport and get on one of three flights out to Sao Paolo, Brazil. Yay!! Not even fifteen minutes into the season and we're already going out of the country. I missed you Amazing Race, I'm glad you're back. Once in Sao Paolo they'll have to find the Unique Hotel to find their next clue. Everyone takes off in their nice Mercedes and we start to see personalities right away.


Until he gets booted or I can find a really unattractive picture of this douche you'll never see him again on my site

Lake and Michelle decide to pull over and try and book a flight out before they get there. Unfortunately Lake didn't read the clue correctly, and you can't book a flight unless you're there in person. From their download we learn that she's a typical southern woman. Being from the south I take offense to that, not all of us like it when our men tie us to the stove and beat us with their deer hunting riffle. Basically she tells us that she's a doormat and whatever her husband says goes. I hate them already. Maybe on this trip she'll grow some balls. Oh, no, maybe he'll get arrested in Turkey or some other foreign country. Yeah, let's hope for that.

Of course like every beginning of the race all the cars are racing down the road, trying to beat each other to the airport. Doesn't seem like directions can really get you too lost in this first leg, so everyone pretty much makes it there in relatively the same amount of time, except for Lake and Michelle. Michelle decides to read the clue her husband was supposed to have read at the beginning. She reads that they can't book ahead of time and you know what his response is? "That was... partially my fault" Partially?!? PARTIALLY! No motherf***cker that was ALL your fault. You read the damn clue. Please see following paragraphs to know why this a**hole bothers me so much.


I'd cry too if my head were that misshapened

The three flights the groups are trying for leave about half an hour apart. Everyone, of course, wants to try and make it to the first one, even though they don't know what times they all get in. Once at the airport, they leave their cars and jump onto a shuttle. Dani and Danielle have big boobs, I'm sorry, I meant a big lead, and make it to the ticket counter first, securing a seat on the first flight out. The next shuttle carries a whopping seven teams. Crazy hippies BJ and Tyler and older couple, Fran and Barry are among them. Once they're able to get tickets, they're surprised they got on the first flight since they were among the last to leave. Yeah, we are too. Even though Eric and Jeremy make the mistake of going to the last leaving airline first, they're able to run over to the other airline and hop on the second flight out. The best part of the airport nightmare is when dating couple Joseph and Monica are standing in line. They realize they're not going to make the early flight and Monica looks like she's going to cry. Surprised, Joseph looks at her and says, "Are you going to cry?" Haha, yeah she is.

Okay, so here starts my hatred for everything Lake and Michelle. They arrive last at the airport and are searching for the ticket counter. Michelle tries to give her opinion on what to do and he tells her to "Shut the f**k up". Wow, the last thing I'd do if my husband told me to shut the f**k up is shut the f**k up. Strike one. They get to the counter just as the other teams, including Ray and Yolanda, learn there's no room. They all dash to the last flight. I don't know why, they'll all get on. Anyway, Lake yells, "Beat that black girl" or maybe it was, "You can't beat that black girl". Either way, he says it like he's talking to his toothless cousin Billy Bob. Strike number two. I don't know if Ray and Yolanda didn't hear it or if they're just ignoring it. Regardless, I like these two. I especially like Ray because he tells us in their back story that he grew up in the "hood" and he became an attorney so he could give back to the community.

Finally everyone is on their way to Brazil. When they arrive, the first flight out has been delayed, so the second flight gets in first. The second plane contains Eric and Jeremy, Wanda and Desiree, gay couple, oh I mean good friends, John and Scott and nerdy couple, Dave and Lori.

They all head off to find the Unique Hotel. The second flight finally lands, nearly forty minutes later, but hippies BJ and Tyler seem to make it out of the gate and move past Dave and Lori from the first flight in.


Early leaders Wanda and Desiree

Wanda and Desiree are the first to the Unique Hotel just about as everyone on the last plane arrives. The hotel's claim to fame is that it's shaped like a boat. Oohh, how Unique. Anyway, once to the roof they get the clue from the box which instructs them to make their way to a large historic bridge. Once there they'll find the next clue. Everyone else starts arriving one by one at the hotel and race to the roof. Eric and Jeremy, who had their sights set on Dani and Danielle from early on, are typical frat boys. They introduce themselves to the girls who politely smile and run up to the clue box. Once back in their cab they laugh at the boys and how cocky they were, introducing themselves. Those bastards, trying to get to know them. What the hell?

Everyone loves the view from the top of the hotel but take off as soon as they can for the next clue box. Wanda and Desiree are out ahead and find the bridge and clu first. It's a detour, which is a choice between two tasks, Rotor Head or Motor Head. Who comes up with these names? They're great. In Rotor Head the teams have to go to a helicopter hanger and find a certain building on a map by using a directory. When they find it they'll get the pilot to fly them to the spot they've chosen. Once there they'll have to search the area for a clue. If they choose Motor Head, and really, who would, they have to find a motorcycle shop somewhere in the city. At the shop they'll have to put a bike together, nearly from scratch, with only a finished bike as their guide. Once the little dude can start the bike, they get their next clue.


"Where is that damn clue?"

Wanda and Desiree head to the Rotor Head one. Monica and Joseph, who have named themselves "MoJo" see Lake and Michelle and call him "Scott Peterson". Haha, they've sure got his number. As Lake and Michelle run and get the clue, Lake asks some local if he's seen a black couple come by. Strike 3, he's officially on my sh** list. Why'd it have to be the black couple? Why didn't he ask if they saw people being following by a camera? Or the two blondes? The old couple? One by one the teams come, run across the bridge, find the clue, and leave. All but one team. Fran and Barry, poor Fran and Barry. Okay, old people aren't dumb, in fact, old people should be the smartest team out there since they have worldly experience and all that crap. I miss Gretchen and Meredith. Fran and Barry run up and down the bridge, searching for the clue box. The cameraman following them quickly pans to the box every time they walk by it.

"Ah, we're, like, here to put together motorcycles. Um, do you like our pink outfits?"

Just so you know, most teams choose the helicopter one. And why wouldn't you choose that? You get to see Brazil in a helicopter for heaven's sake. Only four teams pike the bike one. Dani and Danielle, for some unknown reason, think they can put together a motorcycle. Ha. Ha. Ha. Sorry. They go to the shop and try and figure it out. When they realize what a stupid mistake this was, they go into the street and try and get some poor sap to help them. I guess this is how they get by in life, getting other people to do things for them. Why am I not surprised. They pick some guy and drag him into the shop. When they get in he tells them that he has no idea what he's doing and eventually leaves. Next in the shop are Fran and Barry. Fran's confident she can put the bike together, I mean, in high school she helped her dad work on an Edsel, so she has some mechanic background. Once seeing it she's not so sure. Dani and Danielle, after watching Fran and Barry for a few minutes, decide to go off and do Rotor Head.

Ray and Yolanda workin' their magic

The other two teams that do Motor Head are Lake and Michelle and Ray and Yolanda. Why am I not surprised Lake can put together a motorcycle? He starts whizzing through it and tells Fran and Barry that he'll help when he's finished. Luckily Ray and Yolanda don't have to deal with him and are outside putting their bike together. They're also surrounded by a bunch of locals who decide Yolanda has a nice body and they're nice enough to tell her. They spend the time yelling and laughing at her, as she bends over, helping Ray. Either we're treated to great editing or they both ignore the cat calls and comments.


Candomblé ceremony

The helicopter teams make it to the hanger, most passing the actual entrance and having to turn around. They find the locations in the flight directories and fly off. One by one they land on the buildings and search for the clue. It doesn't take too long to find them. They're next destination is a warehouse where they will witness a traditional Candomblé ceremony, full of snakes, candles and people dancing in a circle.

Lake finishes the bike and because he's a man of his word, as he's getting the next clue, he quickly tells Fran and Barry what to do, although he goes too quickly and assumes she knows what an engine is. He and Michelle run off without really giving Fran and Barry any help. Frustrated, they decide to do Rotor Head and head out. Of course Ray and Yolanda see this and get freaked out, thinking two teams are ahead of them. They soon finish and go to get their next clue.


"Oooh, we're still in it!"

John and Scott and Joni and Lisa aren't having much luck with the taxis. John and Scott finally get out and ask for directions, but the locals don't really care and blow them off. Makes me not want to take my next family vacation to Sao Paolo.

When Joni and Lisa finally make it to helicopters they've pretty much given up, walking in, just enjoying being there. Then they see the other teams show up and realize they're still in the game. They hurry and find the building in the directory they're looking for and head off. One of them is so excited she thinks she's gonna pee herself. Let's hope not, that helicopter is tiny. Now it's a battle between the old couple and John and Scott. John's being a dick to his boyfriend, I mean friend, frustrated that they're not finding the building.

"Phil, man, we're gonna be scopin' some babes later, wanna join?"

They all finally head off in the helicopter as most teams get to and finish participating in the Candomblé ceremony by lighting a candle. The clue they get afterwards tells them to make their way to the first pit stop. Everyone begins to arrive, and Eric and Jeremy take first place. They're told they've each won ten thousand dollars for coming in first at which time Eric said, "Yeah dude, you know how many kegs that buys?". Tools. When Lake and Michelle finally arrive and realize they're not last, Lake starts screaming like a mad man and I'm afraid for Michelle's safety. He looks like he's going to punch her. Poor girl. Wait what am I talking about poor girl, the dumbass married him.

The race to make it there second to last is on between Lisa and Joni and John and Scott. Fran and Barry had the helicopter take them to the closest building. Nice editing makes it look like there was a smaller gap, but something tells me it was fairly long. Luckily, the team that makes it to the mat first is Lori and Joni. I know these two women can be a little annoying but they crack me up.

KARMA'S A FILTHY WHORE

You know it can't be good when you have that look on your face

I've decided to buy stock in ABC. Can I do that? I don't know if you can, but they keep cranking out some good shows. Oh, and I don't put that Housewives show on that list, I did last year, but not this year. But I do put LOST, In Justice, Alias, and of course, Grey's Anatomy on.

Last we left off George and Meredith were preparing to get it on. In a twist, we have George narrating tonight's episode. Nice Grey's Anatomy. Nice.

Addison and McDreamy are asleep in their cramped trailer when Dog comes in, wanting to be taken for a walk. Another clue as to why I'm a cat person. I don't like escorting anything to the bathroom, much less picking it up after they're done. Ewe. Addy decides to take Dog out, but before she does, she wonders if Derek wants to talk. I'm thinking he wants to sleep. So is he. He says he doesn't want to have to interpret crazy girl flip out into normal conversation. She wants him to yell at her, since he hasn't done that yet. Here, I'll do it for him, "I'm sleeping bitch! Go walk the damn dog!". He doesn't, so she just leaves to walk the dog, Dog.

At Meredith's George and Meredith are not snug in bed . In fact, they're not even in the same room anymore. He comes out of his, she comes out of hers. They make eye contact but don't say anything. You can cut the tension with a knife. Or you can cut it with a half naked Alex leaving Izzie's room. Izzie comes out, looking totally cute with her hair all crazy and calls herself a big horny whore. Ha, I love this girl. She can tell something's going on between George and Meredith but they deny it and go back into their rooms.

She's a dirty, dirty girl

Once at the hospital everyone's still weirded out about the way George and Meredith are acting towards each other. They deny again that anything is wrong. Their first patient is a man who's having heart problems. He has some sort of mass around it. He and his fiancée are worried that it's something serious. Yeah, I'd say it's serious, it's a MASS around your HEART. Dr. Burke wants to do an angiogram to check out what exactly it is. The whole time the guy's fiancée is acting like nothing's wrong. Dude, he has a MASS around his HEART.

I guess you gotta do what you gotta do

As George and Christina are walking down the hall he wonders if Meredith's mentioned anything to her. She says no, and some other snarky things about pulling Meredith's pigtails and running off. Addison walks by the group and she's itching her butt and walking funny. Ha, I have to rewind that cause it's just that good.

How cute is he???

Their next patient is Derek's. A cute little boy who got hit in the head playing baseball. His two dads are there and the one is very worried. He feels like it's his fault. So cute. They think he's going to be okay because he doesn't have a headache but they do a scan to check for any bleeding.

"Yup, it's nasty down here"

Dr. Bailey's husband is finally leaving the hospital. Bailey comes in to greet him and they're both happy he's coming home to be with her and the baby. Addison comes into the room, obviously uncomfortable. She asks Bailey to help her with a consult, but since Bailey's still on maternity leave she refuses. Addison does the consultation "wink wink" thing and Bailey agrees, handing the baby off to her husband and leaving with Addy. They get into an examination room and Addy wants her to look at something. She hops up on the bed and puts her feet in stirrups, pulling up her skirt. Whoa, whoa, cowgirl, hold your horses. Oh, and s she not wearing underwear? Kinky. Bailey looks between her legs and is taken aback. She hasn't shaved in months! Actually she has some sort of infection, poison oak. That'll teach her to rub herself up and down the tree outside her house when she's not gettin' some from McDreamy.

George is still pouting and Christina calls him on it. He denies it, even as his bottom lip sticks out and he kicks the ground. Burke thinks Christina's being mean and she rightfully points out that she's a bitch sometimes. Then he wonders out loud why he's attracted to bitches.

"Honey, should the bridesmaids dresses be teal or seafoam"

Back with the heart patient of Burke's, the poor guy has an aneurysm around his heart. Damn, that must suck. They want to operate, but the sensitive fiancée wants to wait until after the wedding. Burke explains that there is a chance it might rupture during surgery, but then gives them the choice of it just rupturing naturally. Hmm, rupturing while I'm in a hospital with three or so doctors around me, or while I'm taking a crap in my own bathroom. Really hard decision here. When they leave the room George talks about Karma and the couple not deserving any of this to happen, except the wife, since she's sorta a bitch. Burke wonders, "What did Grey do to you?". Yeah Burkie, we're wondering that too. Maybe this is how George acts after he gets some punani. That would suck to be his girlfriend.

Derek visits the cute kid and his dads and tells them that the tests show that there is a bleeder in his brain. The weenie dad is scared and starts freaking out again. Derek assures them that this type of bleeder normally heals itself, but they'll continue to monitor him, just in case.

Meanwhile, Izzie runs out into the ambulance bay, answering a page. Alex is standing out there and tells her that he paged her for a booty call. He has a cupcake for her and she gladly takes it. An ambulance pulls in while they're making out the patient wheeled into the ER is Denny. We all remember cute, dimpled, heart patient Denny who had a little crush on Izzie. Izzie runs in and says that she knows the guy and that he's a surgical patient waiting for a heart. She pulls rank and has Dr. Burke paged. When he comes down and realizes it's Denny, he's concerned too. Denny's happy to see Izzie and the two flirt. Man he's good, heart exploding and still has time for the ladies. Alex watches Izzie's reaction and has a look of concern with a bit of jealousy. A bit later Burke picks up on Izzie's crush when she starts spouting off more Karma like references to good people dying and crap like that. He asks her about it and she avoids the question.

Up in the heart patient's room, Dr. Burke decided that the best person to talk to him about the dos and don't of surgery is Christina. We all know how Christina's bed side manner is. This time she does some good. The man tells her that they think it's best to wait until after the wedding to do the surgery. Christina looks at them and says 'Oh no you di'int'. She wonders if the woman keeps his balls in her purse or at home. She admits to them that the surgery is risky, but that Dr. Burke is a great surgeon. She doesn't tell them how great he is in bed, that would just be crass. Her argument does cause the man pause, not wanting to die face down in his own vomit somewhere in Tiajuana.

The face you don't want someone making when they're down there

In the room Bailey gets calamine lotion to put on the rash and still can't believe it's such an advanced case of it. She then goes out and grabs other material, including an ice pack, ouch. The Chief catches her stealing it and wonders what she's doing. She tells him to pretend he doesn't see her. He says that she's on maternity leave and says, exactly, so you don't see me. She runs off with the supplies. When she checks on Addison, she puts the ice pack on, double ouch. Addison thinks she's being punished (karma) for sleeping with Mark last year. If poinson oak is all you get from sleeping with Mark, sign me up. She says she was walking Meredith's dog and decided to take a pee outside so she didn't wake up Derek and that's how she got the poison oak. When she starts crying Bailey starts lactating, ewe. The Chief knocks on the door when he hears the crying and Bailey opens it, full on lactacting still, ewe ewe.

Seriously, how cute is this little guy?

Later, they're called into the boy's room because he's altered. Derek comes in and tells his dads that he thinks there's bleeding in the brain and he'll have to do an emergency something (I'm not really up on the lingo). He tells the dads to leave the room since he's going to drill into their son's head, but they want to stay with their son. Derek tells them not to freak out when he starts drilling a hole into his head. After a moment the boy's eyes open and he wonders why his one dad is so pale. We don't have to wonder long because he throws up onto the floor. Nice.

Izzie should just jump up and mount him, that'll give his heart a good shock

Back with Denny, his heart is beating irregularly. Burke wants to shock it back into submission. It's a trick he uses all the time on Christina. Alex is more than happy to use the shock paddles on Denny. They have to clean him up a bit because he's covered in Izzie's drool. After a few shocks from the Marquis de Sade his heart starts beating normally, much to his and Izzie's delight. For a minute I'm thinking Alex is gonna give him an extra shock, but he's professional. Most of the time. Later, when Izzie's checking Denny's fluids (I know there's a joke in there somewhere) he compliments her on how she says defibrillation. It just rolls off of her tongue. She is kinda cute when she says it. Alex, of course, is watching from the other room where he's set up a listening device, to pick up every double entendre between the dying man and the girl he's doing.

Later, Bailey's walking down the hall and passes Derek. He wants to know what's going on with Addy and she won't tell him. He tries to use the fact that he saved her husband's life, but she reminds him that Addison saved her baby. Baby trumps husband. Ha, ain't that the truth Right Mom?

George and Meredith see each other in the hall and exchange a few glances. Now I'm wondering if maybe he was a little, ah, premature, and that's causing the tension, but it seems maybe it's a little more. George ends up running into the heart guy's fiancée. She talks a bit about the wedding, and has one of those weird florally doily books they give brides (I guess) for all of their wedding stuff.

In the bonehead moment of the night, Alex comes in to commiserate with Meredith and blurts, "So you slept with George, you coulda done worse" or something like that. Meredith is shocked and thinks George told him. Nope, but she just did. They argue a bit about how Izzie doesn't even like Alex, that he's just a piece of ass, a good one, but a piece and that Meredith has a problem with sleeping with inappropriate people when she's drunk. Ha, ya think?

"SSSSHHH"

As they're talking, George walks in. He realizes Alex knows and storms out, not believing she told Alex of all people. He yells at her that she's not who he thought she was. That's of course unless he thought she was a dirty whore, then he'd be right. Christina and Izzie appear out of nowhere and wonder what the heck's going on. They follow him into the staircase as he rants and raves yelling about her telling everyone they had sex. Of course she hadn't so Izzie and Christina flip out. George doesn't have a way with the ladies, and he's not to good at walking either because he trips and falls down the steps. Everyone is concerned enough to stand at the top of the steps and watch him writhe in pain. Does you no good to be in a hospital if the damn doctors don't do anything when you hurt yourself. At least Alex gets a good laugh out of it.

"And today we observe the human male in his natural habitat"

Poor George looks so sad sitting in the examine room. Izzie, Christina, Alex and Meredith are standing outside, watching him. Izzie's pissed at Mer, telling her that if they have to pick sides, she's gonna pick George. Christina comments that George is one of the weaker kids, and it's no fun to pick on the weaker kids. You gotta kick the tough kids in the nuts. Meredith admits to doing a bad thing, and Christina can't believe she didn't know that George was in love with her. Of course she didn't, she's still in the McDreamy sex haze. In with George he's serviced by a cute lady doctor. He's not really picking up all the sex she's dropping, he's in the Meredith sex haze. She pops his dislocated shoulder back into place and puts a sling on him, careful to touch him seductively while she does. She's able to get in some sly questions about his relationship status and realizes he doesn't have a girlfriend. Yeah, but he's got a dislocated shoulder, calm down sex kitten. When he leaves she checks his butt out. Okay, I like her.

"As long as you don't sleep with my best friend, I could never hate you. And even then I'd take you back because of some archaic sense of loyalty"

As with every show, someone ends up in the elevator. This time it's Meredith and Derek. She does a "poor me" pout and tells him that she's probably lost all her friends because she did a terrible thing. He doesn't ask what it is, just says that he'll always be her friend. He says they could hang out sometimes, like on the hikers trail where he walks the dog. Then he winks three times.

Eventually Addison has Derek paged and shows him her rash. I don't know about most married couples, but showing the person you love the rash on your na-na is just so not something you do. I know he's a doctor and all, but still. Addison wonders if now they're even, since she's in so much pain. Derek just starts laughing and says, 'No, now it has to fall off'. That's what I'd say at least.

Christina does her version of comforting while she and George are waiting outside of the heart patient's room. She tells him that when he expects crap, he'll get crap. Speaking of crap, the heart guy's fiancée decides to leave. She's gettin' the hell out of dodge. She's not down with this whole, "death do us part" crap, and has broken up with him. George decides that sometimes there's a good time to hit a woman, but he holds back.

The heart guy is having his surgery and George is up in the galley watching. Olivia, the syph- nurse, comes in and they have a heart to heart. She uses the example of the heart patient and his fiancée, that you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't love you. She also tells him that all his business is around the hospital, seeing he was yelling it down the hall.

When George finally gets home he packs a suitcase. Hopefully he just goes and sends for the rest of his things later. Before he leaves he goes into Meredith's room to get his clothes from the night before. He then has a flashback, at which time we finally learn what the hell happened between the two of them...

At first I was hoping it was her "happy" face, but it's not

They're in bed gettin' it on and it's completely awkward. It's like watching your brother and sister together. We sure called it didn't we, he was a little premature, but he's willing to keep trying to make sure she gets hers. A man after my own heart. She says that's okay, and wonders if he's done yet. Ouch. She can't hold back and just starts weeping. He wonders what's wrong with her and she claims that it's nothing. He realize something's the matter and asks her if sleeping with him was that bad. She doesn't answer so he storms out.

Back in her room she walks in on him getting his clothes. He tells her that he didn't know she didn't want to do it. She says that even she didn't know she didn't want to do it until they were doing it. Do you get that? She tells him that she was just so sad, and then he came in and said all of those wonderful things to her, that she thought maybe, since he's such a great guy, that she should try it out. And then in the middle of trying it out she didn't want to do to it. Sex is like skiing, if you're in the middle of the hill and change your mind, there's really no right way to stop. Okay, so that doesn't make sense, but I think you get what I'm saying. She wants to go back to how things used to be, when he would just pine over her from afar and she slept with every Tom, Dick and Harry at Joe's. He says they can't go back, that she has his balls in her hand and they can't be reattached. He leaves.

Don't worry babe, she's not dressing up for you

In the hospital locker room, Izzie's doing some primping. Although she really doesn't have to do much. Wow, I totally have a girl crush on her. Alex wonders if they're still hanging out later and she apologizes, but says she has to hang out with a real man that doesn't have STDs. When she gets to Denny's room she has dinner and some apple juice for him and they have their first date. Burke's consoling the heart patient who's woman left him. He can't believe she's not there, and Burke reminds him that he still is, and he didn't need that good for nothing ho anyway.

"Call me when you're over that skinny doctor"

George is sitting outside of the only home he knows in Seattle, the hospital. Cute doctor, Callie, comes along and flirts a bit, giving him her number. He wonders if her couch is occupied. I really think if he asked her that she'd thrown him down on the ground and have her way with him. Again, love her. Once she leaves Dr. Burke comes out and sees poor George sitting by himself. He does that male head nod thing that I still haven't been able to figure out. Next thing we see is Burke and Christina in bed and she's complaining. Really, when isn't she complaining. Burke says that George needed them and Christina wonders if it's surgical. Get it, because they're surgeons. Ah, yeah. She's a hoot. Burke's invited George to sleep on their couch. That's good, Burke needs some female energy in that place. The last shot we see is Meredith meeting McDreamy on that hiking trail with Dog. They smile and laugh and start down the path of infidelity.

Nothing good can come of this. Nothing good for Addison anyway

IDOL? WHAT IDOL? I DIDN'T FIND AN IDOL

I'm really hoping the old saying "Let the best man win" holds true this season because I love Terry. He's a strong competitor, but not so strong he ignore his tribe mates and is bossy.

When La Mina comes back from Tribal Council, Sally, adeptly points out that since the tribe (men) told her originally they were all going to vote for Ruth Marie, she felt a bit betrayed. Yeah, no kidding. She says she's going to try and work real hard in the next few days to show them she is worth keeping around. I know a few things she could do to make the men want her to stay around. Although last episode, even though Misty spent some time doing a little rub down, didn't help matters much.

The guys are having their own little pow wow and realize that when the merge comes, they want to be as strong as possible. They also think that when push comes to shove, Sally would jump ship as soon as she could and side with Casaya, since she already feels a bit like an outcast already. Ruth Marie on the other hand is loyal. I completely agree with that assessment.

Did you ever see The Golden Child with Eddie Murphy?

Over at camp crazy, Bruce, Aras and our favorite, Shane, have been gathering snails for breakfast. Okay, unless you're French you don't like snails. And even then they have to be properly prepared. Why aren't they gathering fruit from trees and worms. I would totally rather eat a worm. When they come back, not only has the fire died, but some of the tribe is still sleeping. The guys bitch that they've been out slaving away trying to catch these wonderful snails and they don't like coming back and having the fire gone and the other people sleeping. Courtney gets on the defensive and this causes Aras to question his decision to get into an alliance with Thing 1. WHAT DID I SAY PEOPLE? WHAT!?! Luckily for Cirie, she wasn't a fool and is watching as the alliance crashes and burns. I'm surprised she's not trying to align herself with Bruce and Bobby.

It's The Great Puzzle Charlie Brown

Onto the reward challenge. Out in the ocean is a large puzzle. The pieces are floating in the water, attached to an anchor. Each team member has to swim down, detach the piece, and drag it to the puzzle. Once there they must get the large piece into the ring. When all the pieces are in, they can assemble the puzzle. First team to assemble the puzzle, wins reward. This time they're playing for a full service bathroom. In jungle language that means a hole, toilet paper, soap, and a bucket that slowly drips water on your head. At that point I wouldn't even care about the hole part.

Everyone's excited and they start the challenge. Bobby and Sally jet off and Sally figures out how to get the puzzle piece in, seeing they have no leverage in the ocean. She goes to the inside of the puzzle and pulls it in that way. Once everyone sees that they use the same technique. They're just about neck and neck the whole time, until Austin doesn't realize his piece, the last piece, isn't all the way in. They lose valuable time trying to correct this and end up losing the challenge by mere moments. Casaya gets to take the crapper home. Unfortunately, because of the loss, Casaya has to select a La Mina member to go to Exile Island. They select Terry.

Without Terry there for guidance, when La Mina gets back to camp they're sorta scattered, not knowing what to do. Austin points out that they're all intelligent people, but without someone there to take charge and direct everyone, it makes for a bit of confusion.

The crapper

Over at Casaya they're all patting themselves on the back. The lovely toilet is there when they return and Aras suggests they use the toilet to keep firewood dry. Yeah, cause that's where we keep our firewood at home, in the bathroom. Bobby's not having it and goes to use the facility. "Number 2" or as the less classy people like to call it "take a dump". Danielle's disgusted. I mean really, how dare he use the bathroom to use the bathroom. She quips "He's not a gentleman, I can't stand the fact that he's not a gentleman." Yeah well I can't stand that you have a bad tit job, you don't see me complaining. Okay, so I'm complaining. Whateva. I can't stand people who have that look on their face all the time like they've just spelled a fart. She was next to the bathroom, but still, I hope Cirie kicks her ass. Shane of course is high on the fact that Terry's over on Exile Island and he must be going through hell.

"Oooga Boooga!!!"

It does look fairly miserable on the island. Terry uses his time to search for the Immunity Idol. He starts reading the clues, now there are four of them. There's the map, it's "above tide lines", whatever the hell that means, he also learns that it's buried. He then reads the first clue, which we get a shot of, and in the wording it says "why". Just like that, with the quotes and all. "Why", he says. Then we get a shot of a tree shaped like a "Y". Okay, if we were shown the words on that clue before I totally would have gotten it before now. Terry starts to dig and digs about three feet down when he comes upon a box. He breaks the box open and finds the Idol!!! Reading the note inside it says that he can use the Idol through the final four. Raise your hand if you're happy Terry got this? Note: My hand is raised.

"Is that a fire? Yeah, I think it's a fire. What do you think it is? A fire."

At Casaya the fire die again. I think it's a sign from the Gods. Shane is pissed. Really? What's new. They decide to move the fire pit somewhere else. I don't really see the logic in this, it's not like it doesn't rain three feet away. As they're working to move it, Cirie is working her tail off digging the pit. Shane, Bruce and Aras are also working. Danielle's standing around watching Cirie dig. Shane walks up on this and makes a comment about Danielle maybe helping the poor woman. I mean at least they can take turns or something. Nothin' like staring at someone digging a pit to make you tired. Danielle gets defensive and says, "Well Bobby's not working either" or something completely juvenile. Luckily Shane doesn't sink to her level and comments that he's not talking about Bobby. They immediately go to Cirie for her opinion and she says, "You white people duke it out yourselves because I'm diggin' a pit". Later in her download Cirie laughs at the continued downfall of the Shane/Aras/Courtney/Danielle alliance. I wonder who's going to jump ship first after the merge. Let's hope Cirie, Bruce and Bobby are around to join La Mina.

This could be an underwear ad or something. I would so buy them

La Mina's still struggling without Terry. They haven't eaten in days and it looks like they can barely get up and walk around. Nick tries to fish and pouts that they all suck at fishing. They would have all been eating by now if it wasn't for stupid Sally and her losing the spear. Why they didn't vote her out instead of Misty I'll never know. If I were Sally I'd sure as hell be out there with the same fishing line and rod thing trying to hook me some fish. She does feel like if they lose another Immunity Challenge, that she'll be going. Here's hopin'.

Man, if Shane slipped that would suck. For him, not for me, I'd laugh

At the Immunity Challenge, La Mina is reunited, gladly, with Terry. This challenge is fairly simple, it requires teamwork, patience, and balance. Four people tied together in pairs from each team have to traverse a balance beam course, collect water in buckets and then return to the beach by the balance beam. Once back, they must pour water into a bucket. The bucket is lifted up by a fifth team member in a crows nest. They have to fill the bucket up enough to lower it, lifting the sixth team member high enough to pull a lever and release the flag.

See what I mean about her fart face?

La Mina chooses Ruth Marie to sit in the chair and Danielle to sit in for Casaya. I'd be worried her boobs would weigh her down, but I guess no one else paid any attention. The challenge starts and as with most of the challenges, it's fairly evenly matched. Looks like La Mina may be ever so slightly ahead. Then the fatal flaw. On the balance beam course, on the part closest to the finish, if you don't make it up there by the time your second team is on it's way back, you're f***ed, you have to wait until they finish. Also, if you fall, you and your partner have to run back to the start. Unfortunately, towards the end of the challenge Dan slips up and stumbles. They just started, so it's not a big deal, but Sally and Austin are right behind them so they have to wait until they're off before they can start. It's to the wire and Casaya literally beats them by milliseconds.

Geez Aras, start humping his leg why don't you

Back at camp Ruth Marie and Sally both realize they're in trouble. Earlier, when Dan made his point about Ruth Marie being loyal, he had gone to Ruth Marie and told her their plan to keep her until the merge. They even shook on it. And you know how a man is with his handshake. Unfortunately Austin's argument for it to be Sally who stays, starts to convince Terry. Terry tells Dan that as much as he likes Ruth Marie, it isn't his word that promised her their vote, so he doesn't feel like voting her out would be against any promise he made. Dan does have a good point though, Ruth Marie will stick by them and Sally will start kissing major Casaya ass as soon as she gets there.

When they get to tribal council Jeff does his normal, "So how are you doing" speech. He asks everyone if they found out from Terry how his Immunity Idol hunt went. Although people asked how long he looked, no one directly asked him if he found out. With a semi-tense council, Dan and Ruth Marie are the only people who vote for Sally. Poor, loyal Ruth Marie gets voted out. Yeah, didn't see that one coming. (Please insert sarcastic snort)

AMAZING RACE TONIGHT!!!

I know everyone tried to block out last season's fumble across America, but the race we know and love is back with a vengeance. I mean, I don't know if it's back with a vengeance, but I do know it's back without the dreaded families and without the hated Weavers. Damn you Rebecca and your booty shorts!!! Awhile back I posted about the new teams...

http://primetimetvblog.blogspot.com/2006/01/amazing-race-is-amazing-again.html


Don't forget to tune in tonight to watch the show become good again, at least let's hope!

AMERICAN IDOL

Okay, so I've been avoiding this for awhile now. Mostly because there's twenty seven hours of it on each week and I have a life. At least enough of a life to not want to write about the stupid "singers" that come out of the woodwork during the auditions weeks. Usually this is a great joy for me, to see these idiots who think they can sing make fools of themselves. This year it wasn't as wonderful as I hoped. They just had way too much bad and not enough good. They even let some of the bad through to Hollywood which was surprising. Simon is being his normal crusty self and Randy is still calling everyone "dog" and "dude". Paula actually stayed off of her meds, at least for the auditions. I think maybe traveling from city to city is like touring for her, and she's in her element. It's when she gets back to just hanging out in California that she has to start popping downers and doing the contestants. Here's hoping she starts doing Ace!

The contestants were whittled down last week to a mere 24 and there are a few that stand out to me. A few I can either take or leave, and some of them I'd like to leave tied up in front of an oncoming train. For these first few weeks the women are performing on Tuesday, the men on Wednesday, with the results show on Thursday. With Earl returning soon this is gonna be cutting into my Thursday night, big time. Hopefully it won't have to go on that long.

This year we're treated to a nice new set. I mean, it looks just like the old set except now the red room, where all the contestants wait their turn, is on the second level. Kinda sucks for girls like Mandisa who have to run down the steps to make it to the stage after Ryan introduces her and her taped package is over, but hey, it looks nice. Oh, and while everyone is performing we get a glimpse of the all the other contestants above them, singing to the song and cheering them on. Like every year, I do feel everyone gets along with each other and are genuinely happy when someone does well. Everyone except one bitch, Brenna. More on her later.

The women:

Mandisa!

Mandisa. Mandisgirl can blow. Remember she was the one Simon made that bigger stage comment about. She looks like she fits on the stage fine. Not really impressed with how they're dressing her, but she does a good rendition of "Never" by Heart. She's great and the judges seem to like her.

Sweet Kellie

Next is Kellie Pickler, who was bitten by the cute bug. I love this girl. I love her cute little accent. I love the fact that her father's in jail. And I love that she seems like a very sweet girl. What I don't love is her singing. She doesn't butcher it, but she's not the best either. She sings "How Far" and for the life of me I can't remember who sings it. She doesn't help matters by making me not even remember how the song goes. None of the judges are too impress though, but I can tell Simon wants to have her served up on a platter for dinner.

Sexy Becky. Too bad her lungs don't match her looks

After Kellie is another cutie, Becky O'Dononhue. In the auditions her sister wanted to try out too but she had just had throat surgery. Now poor Becky is representing the whole family. Poor thing, she's just terrible. Natalie Merchant, wherever the hell she is, is probably having seizures listening to Becky tear up "Because the Night". None of the judges like, it, not even Paula. She hasn't taken her daily dose yet, so I'm sure she'll be back to loving everyone has soon as her pill kicks in.

Tall Ayla Brown

Next is Ayla Brown. She's the Senator's daughter, or someone like that. She sings "Reflections" by I think Christina Aguilera. I'm actually impressed. Christina can blow, so to take on a song by her I think is ambitious, but she does well. The judges are luke warm Except Paula, who's starting to get that loving feeling.

She just realized her top was coming down

The young and talented Paris Bennett is next. She gets the crowd going and rocks out with "Midnight Train to Georgia". She's wearing a jean halter top pant suit thing which keeps wanting to fall off because she's jumping around. Not the best choice of outfits. Also, as much as I love Paris, the song is all wrong. Don't get me wrong, "Midnight Train to Georgia" is one of those classic songs that will always be amazing, but there's really no chorus in it. There's about ten words you sing throughout the whole thing, and every once in awhile, "Woo Woo" like you're a train. She has such an amazing voice, I would have liked to hear it a bit more. Of course the judges love everything about Paris. I kinda do too.

She bothers me

Then we have poor Stevie Scott. She's the opera singer who should stick to singing opera. I think she goes with a good enough song, "Where You Are" by the lovely and talented opera crossover to pop singer Josh Groban, but damn. This is just awful. I heard some dogs in the neighborhood start howling. She sang it way too high and although she may have a good voice, in a lower register, she should have sang it like that. Simon and Randy didn't like it, but of course, Paula liked it. She said she liked it because she went "ethereal" with it. Yeah, sounds like she sucked in some helium.

I wanna scratch her eyes out

At the halfway point we're forced to listen and watch Brenna Gethers. Even her name annoys me. She sang, "You Are the Sunshine of My Life". If Stevie Wonder wasn't already blind this would have sent him into darkness forever. Not only did she sing badly, she also brought her bitchy personality out when Simon told her it sucked. She said something about cats and getting her claws out. I wasn't listening because I was too busy yelling "Bitch!" at the TV. She likes herself too much. I mean, it's good to have confidence, everyone loves confidence, one of the reasons I love Paris so much. It's another thing to think your sh** doesn't stink. And trust me girl, it's stanky.

Who is this girl?

Next is Heather Cox. Who is Heather Cox? Seriously, that's not an existential question, who the hell is this girl. I don't remember her, and as I write this, I still don't remember her. She sings "When You Tell Me That You Love Me" or so her profile on idolsonfox.com says. Like I said, I don't remember her and I can't remember what the judges say. That can't be a good thing. It also can't be a good thing to look just like the winner last year.

Melissa and Amanda Bynes were separated at birth

Melissa McGhee is next up and she sings "When The Lights Go Down". All I remember about her is it was decent. She's kinda cute, in that Amanda Bynes sorta way. Randy and Paula are split on the performance. I'll give you once guess who liked it? Simon is in the middle, saying it was okay.

Oohh, it's like she's outside

Sixteen year old Lisa Tucker is next on stage and she sings "I Am Changing". She can blow, and the judges really like what she did, especially Simon. My only problem with her is what she does to her face when she sings. She's a pretty girl, but she looks like an angry man when she sings. Hopefully someone will tell her and she'll practice in the mirror how not to distort her face.

Okay, not so much in this picture, but trust me

Second to last girl is Kinnik Sky. I sorta remember her from the auditions, but God, I didn't remember how much she looked like a drag queen. Damn, this poor girl looks like she's straight out of Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Nemar. Seriously, is it Wesley Snipes dressed up like a girl? And her mouth, damn, that's what we call DSL. Figure it out. She's pretty good, although Brenna up in the balcony doesn't think so. She makes some sort of face when Kinnik goes for the high note. This makes me want to vote Kinnik through to the next round. Randy's not impressed, Paula, guess what, loves it, and Simon doesn't think she's ready to play with the grown ups. Afterwards Eddie Murphy shows up and takes her for a ride.

Poor thing's a bit cross-eyed

Last but not least is Katharine McPhee, who I think looks just like Katie Holmes. Look out, there's a short gay dude after you! I'm really not expecting much from her. Don't really know why. Then they remind us of who she is in the Hollywood auditions and I get a bit more excited, this girl can sang. And that's not a misspell, she can SANG. You gotta say it out loud. SANG! She sings "Since I Fell For You" and blows me away. She's got chops and I hope she's around for at least most of the competition. All three judges love it.

At the end of the night I vote for everyone except Brenna. I don't really want some of the other girls in it to go forward, but I really don't want Brenna.

The next night is the guys. This is more my speed, although not many of these guys are cute. Some of them are just ugly. I know, that's harsh, but I can't imagine most of these guys having their poster on anyone's wall. Hey, Clay isn't the best looking guy out there, but I can see how he appeals to little girls. Little boys for that matter. Paula's excited about tonight too, now she can choose which boy to molest.

The Men:

Oh dear

First up is Patrick Hall. He kinda reminds me of the poor man's version of Edward Norton although if I saw him in a bar I'd be all over that like white on rice. I love skinny nerdy guys. He sings Melissa Etheridge's "Come To My Window". If we weren't doubting his sexuality before, they flash to the people in the audience labeled "Patrick's friends". I have so many things to say, but I'm going to resist, out of respect for elderly drag queens. Sorry to Patrick for not putting up a picture of him, but this is too good to resist. The song's not horrible, but it's not great either. Of course, since Paula likes to wait a bit before popping her meds, she tells him it wasn't great. His only ally and he had to catch her before happy pill time.

Seriously, look how damn cute he is!

Cutie David Radford, the crooner, was up next. He sang "Crazy Little Thing Called Love". He's lucky he has dimples, otherwise I wouldn't have voted for him. I'm not a fan of the whole crooner thing, and although he has a nice voice, I'm very afraid it's one dimensional. Can we talk some more about those dimples? I just want to pinch his cute cheeks. I'm gonna go to jail. Randy and Simon aren't impressed, but Paula is, obviously.

Hi, this is my brother Darryl and my other brother Darryl

Next up we have Bucky Covington. Bucky, I just love that. Basically if you went to any town in West Virginia this guy would be hanging out with the one cute chick he wasn't related to. I mean I don't mean to be rude, but he's no John Mayer. Well, really, no one is John Mayer, but you get my drift. Nice guy, and he sings "Simple Man". He's not bad actually, although he does a lot of growling, which can get a little old. For a change, Paula and Simon liked it and Randy's sorta on the fence.

This is what Bobby Brady would look like if he stayed cute

On to one of the cutest performances of the night, Will Makar who sings the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back". I'm gonna jump through the screen and eat him. Seriously, this guy's adorable. I feel like a pedophile. Randy's impressed with Will, as is Paula who thinks he looks like Bobby Brady. Doesn't she know Bobby's the one who grew up into one fugly guy? He looks more like Peter to me. Paula needs to get her Bradys straight. Simon pisses on everyone's parade and calls Will an average singer.

Pimpin' all over the world

Our next singer is Sway. His mamma didn't name him that of course, some guys in San Francisco's Castro district did. Sway sang the song "Reasons" because his parents used to sing that to him when he was a baby. He sang the whole thing in falsetto. He pretty much pulled it off for me. I'm not a fan of listening to men sing like ladies, but he didn't butcher it like Stevie Scott did the Josh Groban song the night before. Paula and Randy loved it and Simon thought it was horrible.

Man I hope this kid stays in for awhile. And then gets a record contract. Gotta love good dads.

Chris Daughtry is next and I've loved him from the very beginning. If you remember, Chris' wife was at the first audition and was so happy for her husband because she wanted him to live his dream. Apparently he gave it up to marry her and be step-father to her kids. If anyone deserves it, it's this guy. He takes on Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive". Me and millions of other Gen Xers (is that what we're called?) grew up on this song. As soon as it starts in the bar the whole bar goes crazy. Chris nails it. He has the perfect voice for this song and I think Jon and Richie would be proud of how Chris handled it. All three judges are impressed.

Turn him over and his nostrils can be gravy boats

Poor Kevin Covais is next. I love this kid, I do, but he has the lisp of all lisps. His voice isn't great, although better than some, as he sings Brian McNight's "One Last Cry". Randy and Paula must be suckin' on the same Jesus Juice because they loved it. Simon, on the other hand, thought it was awful. Unfortunately I agree with Simon, wasn't great.

Look at this sweetheart, Simon can suck it

Gedeon McKinney is up. He's a sweet guy with an even sweeter smile. He sings "Shout" and gets everyone on their feet. Of course Paula because she needs to get the drugs circulating in her body. I think he does really well. And did I mention how sweet he looks? Adorable. Randy thought it was just okay, and Paula loved it. Then Simon said two of the oddest comments. He said that Gedeon was like the warm up for the Chippendales. Um, what? I'm not gonna pretend I'm some male strip show connoisseur, but I can't imagine them having this music, unless the guy is nekked or in a g-string. Hmmm. Anyway, if that's not bad enough he tells the sweet guy that his smile bothers him. What the hell is that about? Yeah, it's big, but it's genuine, and that's all that counts. I vote for him half a dozen times because Simon is an ass. Gedeon takes it in stride though. I can totally imagine him doing a Broadway Motown revival show.

"I'm just tryin' to get me Lucky Charms"

The next guy to sing is Elliot Yamin. Boy, he has a messed up grill. Totally sweet guy, but damn! I know they have dentists in Virginia. It's West Virginia you gotta worry about. Thank goodness this guy can blow. He sings Stevie Wonder's "If You Really Love Me" and brings the house down. All of the judges adore him and Simon gives one of the best compliments I've ever heard from this man. He tells him that he has the potential to be the best male vocalist on Idol, ever! Wow. I guess this could be true, both Paula and Randy said that he had a great studio voice. I have no idea what that means.

Oh look, he supports Lance Armstrong

Now on to Bobby Bennett. You gotta be some kinda terrible to butcher a song that's pretty losy anyway. I mean, I love "Copacabana", it's a fun song, but it's no Elton John. No Billy Joel. Hey, it ain't even Billy Idol. The crowd is on their feet, but it's "Copacabana", you're a tard if you don't get on your feet and dance to that, even if it's sung like this. None of the judges like it, although they love Bobby.

See what I mean about the shape of his head?

Then there's Ace. I don't know what the big deal is with how good looking this guy is. Will and David are so much cuter. Yeah, he has nice blue eyes, and the long sexy hair. And okay, so his body is nice and he has a great ass, but really, is that all we women look for? He sings "Father Figure" by George Michael. I have to admit, the more I look at him the less attractive his face becomes. His head is oddly shaped, kind small at the top and big on the bottom. I mean, I wouldn't kick him outta bed for eatin' crackers or anything, but still. He's a pretty good singer and I think, with his looks and the decent voice, he should go far.

We love Taylor!!!

Last but certianly not least is the adorable, Taylor Hicks. Taylor is the grey haired guy who looks sorta like Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder when he sings. Although he's a white boy who can see. He has a good voice, which I think will get better over the competition and turn into great singer. Defintiely final four. He's a bit odd to watch, so just close your eyes, it's much better that way. The judges like him and even Simon admits that he was wrong to say Taylor wasn't going to make it this far. Well duh.

The rest of the kids drowned these two out, thank the Lords of Kobol

The next night is the elimination night and we're treated to a big batch of Paula's boobs. She must have known Ace would be soon on stage because she was shovin' those bad boys out. They stretch four minutes of television into 60 and three of them I couldn't stop staring at Paula's ta-tas. Let's just thank the Lords of Kobol we aren't forced to watch any of the Ford or Coke commercials they do when it gets down to the wire. I meant the contestants, not Paula's boobs. We are forced to watch the 24 do a bad group song. Luckily they have the really bad singers, like Bobby and Brenna, not have any solos. The first girl goes, and I'm excited for a minute because Brenna's in the bottom two. Unfortunately, it's Becky O'Donohue that's voted out. My ears bleed as they make her sing again. I guess looks aren't everything. Next for the guys, Bobby Bennett got the lowest votes. A girl goes next and it's Stevie Scott. She sings "To Where You Are" again, but this time in the voice she should have sung in, and she sounds much much better. Better than that bitch Brenna. Finally, the last guy to get kicked out this week is Patrick Hall. Hopefully this week's contestants will do a bit more to impress the judges.