ONCE UPON A TIME

Even though this show is in it's second season I feel like I should talk about it.  This show reminds me of that really nice guy that has a crush on you but you just don't feel it.  You want to, he has everything you're looking for, and you keep going out with him, hoping something will spark, but you just can't help seeing all his flaws and laughing about him to your friends behind his back.  That's how I feel about Once Upon A Time.  It has everything I like, action, adventure, fairy tale stories, but there's just something about it that holds me back from calling it a great show.  I've thought about why exactly that is and it's mostly because of the huge plot holes I see in nearly every single episode.  I find myself raising my arms and rolling my eyes saying out loud (which is weird because I live alone) "Why would she say that?  Why is he doing that?  Why? WHY????"

Let's for a minute suspend our disbelief.  Snow White and the Queen fight so much that the Queen sends an entire kingdom (a whole kingdom!) into a small town of what couldn't be more than a few thousand people.  Then, their lives are suspended for 28 years while the outside world ages, giving Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter time to age.  While she's aging she has a baby who gets adopted by the Queen and raised in this town where no one ages except the kid.  And don't forget, there are other children in this town who are from the kingdom (the Mad Hatter's kid) who are supposedly not aging either while Snow White's grandkid is aging like any normal kid.  Also, the town gets supplied with everything it needs, gas, electric, food, supplies, from some unknown source that has never been addressed. And I don't mean that in a sinister, there's someone behind the curtain, way. I mean it in, it's never properly explained way.  They make a big deal about strangers not coming into Storybrooke, that they literally can't come in or the whole order of things is messed up, but never address how they get everything they need.  Magic wasn't used for the whole 28 years, up until the past few episodes, so it's not like the Queen is bippipy boppity boo'ing everybody the latest fashions and supplies.

Are you still with me?  

Despite all of that (and more) I stick with it, it's pretty entertaining if you don't let your mind wonder too much and think about all the plot holes.  Most of my love stems from wanting to know what kind of ridiculous crazy stuff will they think of next.  Half of it doesn't make any sense, and sometimes a huge circle is weaved through the storytelling that gets you right back to the beginning, ie when Cora, Hook and Mulan appeared in season 2, not in Storybrooke, and you wondered how they got around the curse.  Come to find out, in like the tenth episode of the season, Cora put up a protective wall over the island she was on with Hook that kept Mulan and a lot of other people protected from the curse.  That was a cool moment, but it took ten episodes of me going 'WTF' for it finally to be revealed.  

One more gripe, the special effects. They're awful.  I wanted to use the argument that this is Disney, they should be able to afford good special effects, but then I remembered this is Disney, and they don't do special effects, they do cartoons.

So my overall assessment of the show is that it's worth watching. It's fun and goofy and entertaining, you just have to know what you're getting.  And occasionally a hot guy will show up (and then promptly die or turn bad) which is good.  But don't expect any of it to make much sense. 

CHICAGO FIRE

What better way to return to my blogger roots than this...

I don't even know if I should even talk about the show because come on. So much beauitfulness in one picture.  And they did right by putting the hottest right up front. Taylor Kinney.  I dream about Taylor Kinney and his beautiful blue eyes... 

Every night

Okay, I'll stop.  But come on, that is just perfection.  You go Lady Gaga (yes, that is her boyfriend). 

Anyway, this show is very straightforward.  You got some fires, you got some firefighters and paramedics, and you got some internal strife.  The stories are pretty pedestrian but that's Dick Wolf for you. This isn't appointment TV, I don't look at the clock waiting for Wednesday at 10pm and stay up late watching it.  All that said, it's a pretty decent show.  It's good, fun entertainment and I do not get tired of looking at any of these people.  They're not all pretty, but they're all interesting.  

You have Chase from House (I miss you Hugh Laurie!), who is unfortunately without his beautiful Aussie accent.  Steve from Sex and the City plays a more seasoned firefighter whose voice will always take me back to the early 2000s when SJP was hip and we overlooked her horse face.  The chief is the always recognizable Eamon Walker, also without his accent, who easily convinces us that he's the boss.  There's a rookie who they constantly tease but look out for like any good big brother does.  The gorgeous lesbian who likes to make out with other cute women.  Of course Taylor is a draw, even his character's name is hot!  Kelly Severide.  And the thing that keeps me coming back is the sorta cute paramedic and her sorta unhealthy crush on Chase from House.  The fact that he reciprocates her crush makes me want to giggle and keep hope alive that some super hot firefighter might one day crush on me.

Like this one...

AWAKE

Awake, which comes on NBC on Thursdays is probably my favorite new show.  The premise is fairly simple but the way it's played out can get very, very detailed and can sometimes be hard to follow.  Basically, police detective Michael Britten gets into a car accident with his family.  His wife has survived and his son has died, but the twist is, when he closes his eyes to go to sleep, he wakes up and his son has survived and his wife has died.  So he's living two lives, one with his wife, mourning the loss of their son, and one with his son, where he tries to connect with him the way his mother did, but can't seem to. 

He sees two therapists who each insist that the reality he's living in with them is real.  If he truly accepts one reality, that means that he has to accept that one of them is dead, which, as you can imagine, he doesn't want to do.  

To make things even more complicated, as a police detective, his investigations in one reality end up affected or helping his investigation in the other.  That's where it can get complicated because it can get hard to remember which reality he's in, the one with the son, or the one with the wife and which case he's investigating. I discovered, watching the second episode, that the reality with his wife is tinted with a yellow/orange tone, the one with his son, a more blue/green tone.  I just realized that at the end of the last episode so I'll see if it helps when I watch the next episode. 

Each relationship he has, with this wife, and then with his son, is so interesting and heartbreaking.  He was sharing with his wife that he was seeing his son, but it was too much for her to deal with, so now he only discusses his interactions with them with his therapists. 

In the second episode you realize that his lieutenant is somehow involved in some sort of plot involving Michael. We don't know what it is, or if it's related to his two different realities, yet.  It almost had an Adjustment Bureau feel to it, if that makes sense. 

I definitely recommend watching this show, it's fascinating and smart, which means it'll probably be cancelled, so, you better watch now to let NBC people know we do watch it and please don't cancel it!

GAME OF THRONES TRAILER

So, this happened on Friday...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=VVkr9oYsIbo

So many things right about all that. Here are my favorite things, in order (no spoilers for Season 2, don't read if you haven't watched Season 1. And if you haven't watched Season 1, get with the program!):

1. Jon Snow, brother in black, bastard son of the murdered Eddard "Ned" Stark.  Jon is my favorite Stark and he has my favorite direwolf, Ghost.  His uncle is missing, having ventured beyond the wall that Jon helps protect, and winter is coming, which, will be very very cold.

2. Robb Stark, King of the North.  Robb is SO hot, like breathtaking, and that accent (his real one, if you haven't heard it, find a behind the scenes clip and watch/listen, and your heart will MELT). Although compelling, he can be somewhat background, but did I mention he was hot? His direwolf, Grey Wind, fights along side of him in battle and creates fear among the soldiers who are about to face him. 

3. Tyrion Lannister, the Imp, Hand of the King.  Tyrion knows who he is and what he can and can't do and uses them both to his benefit.  Manipulative, fair, highly intelligent, Tyrion has everybody's number.  If someone could get an Oscar, Emmy, Tony, Juno and BAFTA for one role it should be Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, I can't wait for what's to come in the new season with him, he will TEAR IT UP!

4. Arya Stark, Princess of the North.  Although her brother is king she's on the run, pretending to be a boy, with Needle, the little sword Jon gave her before he left Winterfell.  She's considered missing by Cersei, and quite frankly the least of her problems, and assumed by her mother to be captured by the Lannister's, held hostage with her sister Sansa in King's Landing.

5. Daenerys Targaryen, Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons.  At the end of last season her husband and baby died and she burned the witch who killed them, walked into the fire and her three dragon eggs hatched.  Two words, baby dragons!

6. Cersei Lannister, Queen Regent.  Overseeing the Seven Kingdoms while King Joffrey comes of age, she's kind of the baddest bitch ever.  She loses points for sleeping with, and having children with, her brother, although, in her defense, Jaime Lannister is pretty hot.

Tune in April 1st for Season 2.  Robb Stark forever!

THE AMAZING RACE RETURNS!

I put an exclamation point in the title of this post because, hello!  The Race is back.  This show is truly my favorite reality show... yup, after thinking about it again for a moment there, it is.  Let's get right to it!  First with our cursory "who's who".  Oh, and what's cool about this year's introductory portion is they come in on bikes.  Normally I would think this is lame but Phil Koegen is an avid bike rider and does lots of rides for charity, so I love how they've incorporated this into the show.  Yay Phil! 

Here are the teams...

 Bopper and Mark aka Team Kentucky

I immediately love this team.  I don't ever remember an interracial all men's team before. And they're from Kentucky, can you tell?  More on them later.

 Brenden and Rachel aka Team Big Brother

Apparently these guys were on Big Brother, which makes me hate them already.  And yes, she is wearing a sparkly green shirt.  Hate.

 Elliot and Andrew (no name yet)

Twins. Thank goodness the one has long hair or it would take longer than normal to figure out who's who.  Point to them for helping us out.  .

 Art and JJ aka Team Border Patrol

I was hoping this was our first gay couple of the season, but, it's not.  They'll bore me to death, I can tell.  They look real nice tho. 

 Danny and Joey aka Team Douchebag

 

Ew. There's a reason I don't watch Jersey Shore, and you're looking at it.  This douchebag calls himself "Fitness". I'm not going to call him that.  I'm also not going to call their team "Jersey Shore" because that implies I'm going with their whole, 'we're cool like that show' thing.  You're not.  Wow, I must really be incensed over this. I wrote a whole paragraph.

 Kerri and Stacy aka Team Cousins

These girls are cousins, and because of my reverse racism, I love them already!

 Misa and Maiya aka Team Hawaii

They seem fun, but they're the obligatory "we want people to know we're not just pretty faces". Then stop wearing bikinis on national tv!

 Nary and Jaime aka Team Agents

They say they're federal agents and they're shooting guns in their intro. I like this, but something about them turns me off. 

 Dave and Rachel aka Team Army Wife

They've been married for two years and are already having problems, mostly because he's been overseas in the military for a year.  Her five-head aside, I'm rooting for them.

Dave and Cherie aka Team Clowns

They're clowns. 

Vanessa and Ralph (no name yet)

They're a pretty couple, hopefully he doesn't get overly abusive by yelling at her about how she's not carrying something right.

And so it begins!  Phil gives his obligatory, 'Have fun flying around the world and making people in foreign counties hate Americans, GO!'

Of course, as it has been the last few seasons, they start off immediately with a challenge.  Oh, by the way, they're in Santa Barbara, California, at a vineyard. I'm amazed Team Douchebag aren't doing keg stands with the wine casks.  The first challenge is a search, where they have to find a clue hidden in one of a hundred mini-hot air balloons.  Those balloons are really cute, aren't they? I love little things. Haha.

Team Kentucky, my favorite starting out, starts screaming in excitement.  It's very awkward and I immediately worry that I will soon hate my favorite team.  Last year after being in love with the snowboarders the whole season and then loathing them when they got all self righteous makes me wary of liking someone so soon, but I just can't help it! 

Everybody searches and when they start finding their clues, it says to go to Santa Barbara. I'm very confused by this, but as soon as they get into their cars Phil pops up, not literally, but on the screen. That would be awesome though if he was hiding in their back seats.  Video Phil tells them they'll be going to Santa Barbara, Argentina.  They race to LAX, which, is like two hours away.  As soon as they get into the cars all the teams start high-fiving each other and yelling about how awesome it is that they're on the race.  I hope they all think back to this moment because at some point they'll start screaming at each other and/or crying.

My soon-to-be not favorite team, Kentucky, are having problems and eventually start to get discouraged, telling each other how exhausted they are.  This is an hour into the race people!  They eventually find the clue, second to last, and race off, with Mark puking out of the window of the car.  Team Hawaii (Misa and Maiya) are the last to depart, nearly two hours after the first team. They were right, they aren't just pretty faces, they're also stupid. 

This episode must be jam packed because we get no airport footage at all.  I miss it, this is usually when the teams meet each other and form ridiculous opinions (see my above comments for an example of this). I thought for sure this is when we'd get catty remarks thrown at Team Big Brother, who already has a million dollars (that she won).  This edit is suspicious, but I'm going to let it go, since we do have lots of show to get to.

Two planes are headed to Argentina and as the first one lands I realize that my soon-to-be favorite team is on it.  I bet you're wondering who that is, aren't you.  Keep reading to find out! Although, if you've read this far, you've committed, so thanks!  The second plane has Team Kentucky, Team Clowns and Team Douchebag (along with a few other not so lucky teams).  Team Clowns immediately start having issues with the stick shift.  These are Ford's they're driving, not some weird South American car. Not that South American cars are weird, unfamiliar, is the word I should have used.  I could just delete the previous sentence, but I think this is funnier.  Is it? IS IT???

The teams get to their first clue box of the season and it's a Road Block.  One team member has to skydive (!!!) and the other has to use a third grader's map to find where their teammate has landed.  Although the skydiving is exciting, this challenge is boring. 

Team Army Wife and Team Border Patrol work together on the ground, using their honed government educated skills to figure out the ridiculous map and find their partner.  Team Big Brother is right behind them.  As the first plane teams complete the Road Block, they're instructed to head to Patios de Cafayate, where I'm assuming there are lots of patios. 

The second plane teams make it to the skydiving area and we finally have someone who is scared to jump out of a plane, rightfully so!  It's Stacy from Team Cousins ie my maybe favorite team.  Luckily Kerri says she will do it, but unfortunately they've misread the clue and since they've stated what they were going to do, it causes them to have to switch places and Stacy will be jumping out of the plane.  Side note:  To get me to jump out of the plane you'd have to a) give me drugs b) push my ass out when I'm not looking or c) promise me Michael Fassbender is on the ground below me. 

Come on, like you wouldn't jump out of ANYTHING for that

Stacy eventually overcomes her fears, although for a minute I wasn't sure she'd actually do it. And good for her! 

I'd like to stop a second and mention Bopper.  At first, being part of the interracial Kentucky team, I was in love with him and his partner Mark.  The yelling that occurred at the very beginning made my short lived love wane, but again, I was still rooting for them.  Then the puking an hour into the game and I was definitely rethinking my love.  Now this.  As Bopper is driving to get Mark he yells something at the camera and dear God, he doesn't have any teeth in the top row.  I mean, he has some, but he's missing a few.  I don't know if it's the angle or what, since later in the show you clearly see his front teeth, but um, no. 

Unfortunately while Stacy was showing what a badass mom she was by skydiving and telling us she has to do it for her kids, Danny and Maiya are treading heavily into 'hahahahahah you dumbass' territory.  Danny, against his mom and ALL OF AMERICA'S better judgement, didn't learn how to drive a stick shift.  So that holds him up a bit from leaving the airport, to my complete enjoyment!  And then Maiya, thinking a random sandy spot is a) where she wants to go and b) a road, she turns into it, only to get stuck in a sand trap. In her defense, there is a lot of sand, and there is a car parked near there, so her mistake is an honest one albeit game changing and hilarious.  See, she's not just another pretty face.  Eventually some locals come to her rescue (how you liking being pretty now, huh?) and she's pulled out, but she's lost some valuable time.

So many things are right about this picture

Meanwhile, most of the other teams are either at the Detour, or making their way there.  Team Border Patrol, Team Army Wife and Team Big Brother are all at the Detour together at first.  The Detour involves making empinadas two different ways.  They have to make a total of one hundred and twenty and what some may not realize (and some don't) you have to do them two different ways.  It seems like a tedious task and hopefully they aren't cooking them too because I don't know if I could control myself with fresh, homemade empinadas baking somewhere near me.

Team Border Patrol, who at this point I'm a fan of, don't notice that you have to crimp the two different empinadas differently.  This allows my new favorite team (wait for it!) Team Big Brother (I know!) to move ahead. Yes, I said it. The team I thought I'd hate the most when this episode first started is the team I kind of love now. They are really relaxed, seems like they're having fun, and despite her idiotic green sequenced top, I'm kind of digging Rachel.  I'm sure if you watched Big Brother you may disagree, because the majority of people who are on that show are just one notch above Jersey Shore, but for now, Rachel and Brendon are kind of awesome. 

Team Army Wife finishes just a few minutes before Team Big Brother and five-head and all, they are the first team to arrive, winning the Express Pass, which allows them to skip any task up until the eighth leg.  Team Big Brother and Team Border Patrol come in not soon after.  The other teams roll in but it's the race between Team Douchbag and Team Hawaii that's making this episode exciting.  Coming from behind Team Hawaii bang out the empinadas, using their skills making wontons (I swear they said it first), and push ahead. Unfortunately they've left their bags in the car and, as we know from past seasons, you need all your bags to check in.  They hurry to the car, as Team Douchebag notice they could be still in this.

Next is one of the funniest finishes I've witnessed.  Team Hawaii ("we're not just pretty faces") run around the compound looking for Phil.  They walk out to the area where Phil is (unfortunately with no band/music accompaniment) look around, and walk right back into where they just came from, not seeing Phil.  Granted, he is about fifty yards away, but they don't even look his direction.   Phil looks at the locals standing next to him, clearly amused and confused at why they didn't see him.   This allows Team Douchebag to eventually finish the task and while Team Hawaii is still wandering around, swoop and take the last slot. 

Team Hawaii eventually finds Phil and Phil hysterically points out that they were mere feet from him and didn't see him and that this has never happened before.  They feel like idiots, and I don't blame them. Maybe they should have just worn bikinis. 

See you next time!



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IN MEMORIAM

To all those we lost recently in the last two television seasons...

My husband, my soul mate, the only man in this world that I would ever feel safe with in any situation. I don't know where you are Jack. The last time I saw you was over satellite, you were running away. I'll miss the way you torture suspects and the way you yell "Damnit Chloe!" Your show inspired a nation and, in my humble opinion, is one of the reasons we have a black president, so, thanks. I'll always love you, maybe I'll see you in a TV movie at some point.

Sawyer, you died, at some point, we think. You may have died on the plane, or later in life but came to the afterlife looking like your normal fine self, we're not really sure. All I'm sure about is that I miss you, and your friends, but not Kate, she annoyed me.

Peter Petrelli, I think I miss you most of all. Not because I love you the most, but because you had the most potential that your writers just pissed away. You started out being sweet and goody goody but then your powers got confused, you could fly, you could absorb other powers, you couldn't. I'm not sure how your story ended because I stopped caring or watching. I'm sorry about that, maybe I'll watch you on Blu Ray. Maybe not.

For the ladies and gents who like ladies. Number Six. Your fine ass was just in Baltar's head but we all miss you. You finally got your man in the end, we think. Unlike some people, I think you had a brilliant ending and I was sad to see you go. Although, you're probably still around.

Jim. You had a crazy ghost seeing wife but you were always there to support her. Except when you died and then came back in that other guy's body. That was strange but also really romantic. Even though your show was for people slight older then I claim to be, I still enjoyed it. I hope you and Melinda are doing well and she's not annoying you too much.

Mark, your snarky comments and harassment of Betty, although completely inappropriate, were entirely hilarious. I'll miss your wit, and your old boss is the only reason I'm watching that dumbass show Desperate Housewives, except maybe of course, Eva Longoria. Anyway, you're missed, you cute little thing you.

Michael. I'm sorry to say I didn't see what happened to you. I've been meaning to, but something is holding me back. I mean, to see your tattooed self just one more time would be amazing. I miss your whispery voice and your always sweaty face.

GREY'S IS GGGOOODDDD

Is it just me or is Grey's AMAZING this season? The last episode of last season, with the shooting in the hospital, was just about the most amazing two hours of Grey's EVER. I'm using a lot of caps in this recap. Haha, get it, cap, recap. Yeah, I'm lame. So just a quick reminder to anyone who didn't watch the finale, Reed was killed (who cares), Alex was shot, Owen was shot, Meredith had a miscarriage, Derek was shot, Cristina saved his life and the big oafy intern died. It was amazing. There were moment of genius. Cristina's hands in Derek's chest as the gunman held the gun to her head and Meredith pleading for his life "Shoot me. Dr. Webber, I'm the closest thing he has to a daughter, Lexie Grey is my sister and the man on the table, I'm his wife, so shoot me." Ugh, just writing that makes me sad and happy and everything a good show should make you feel. Oh, and then when he shoots Owen and Derek is still alive and Meredith is in shock and Cristina yells, "I save your guy, you save mine!". Tears! Oh, and then when Cristina is having all those problems and Meredith tells her "Derek is the love of my life but you're my soul mate". OMG I love this show. Okay, one more time, when Cristina left Owen the day after they got married because she freaked out in the O.R. and she and Meredith were talking about her marriage and Meredith was convincing her to give it another try and she agreed and then Owen showed up and gave her this amazingly romantic and wonderful speech and Meredith says, "Nice speech, but I fixed her right before you walked in."

The first episodes back have been so good. Not as amazing as the finale, but seriously, how can you beat a crazy gunman shooting surgeons? Ya can't, it was just great. Anyway, Meredith had a miscarriage and at first wasn't telling Derek about it, but Derek was driving around going a hundred miles an hour and getting arrested so she finally told him. April, the intern that unknowingly got Derek shot, whose best friend was killed (Reed) and who Meredith went through her miscarriage and craziness with, moved in to her house. And for some reason Avery is there as well, which I'm not sure that was ever answered, but do I care? He's like, amazingly amazingly handsome. In the last episode he flirted with Teddy who at first was falling for it but then totally rejected him. She needs to use him as a sexual rebound. That's what I'd do.

Lexie and Alex broke up and Sloane was pining after her but then when Derek's sister came into town he realized he shouldn't wait around for Lexie, but Lexie was ready by then and caught Sloane and Baby Shephard hooking up. Speaking of babies, cute baby doc Arizona moved in with Callie after their big break up and get back together last season finale. Unfortunately, Cristina and her HUSBAND Owen still live there. But don't worry, after some very loud lady sex Cristina and Owen decided to move.

Cristina's been freaking out in the O.R. and they wanted to pull her from the program but Derek said "If she goes, I go" which was another one of those amazing Derek moments. He took her under his wing and tried to coax her back into the O.R. but she just couldn't do it. Owen tried to get her back in the episode before and she wound up on the floor in a ball. And then this past episode Bailey tried to get her in as well and she wouldn't go. I thought Derek had made progress though because he did take her down to the morgue and had her perform the same surgery she did on him, just so she knows she still has it, and it seemed like she did.

Now Meredith has a hostile uterus and she and April are tighter. Lexie was a little jealous of that until Meredith finally told her that April was there during her miscarriage and has made them closer. Poor Lexie, she doesn't have Alex, Sloane and Meredith is treating April sisterly. But in all fairness, Lexie went cray cray after the shooting, so I'm not sure how much I'd trust her either.

The cases on the last few episodes have been fine, but it's not really about the cases. The cases make them realize things, but the actual cases aren't that interesting. Yeah, the girl who swallowed a condom at her bachlorette party so her fiance was upset was kinda funny. Oh, and there was this guy who had this weird disease where he looked like a tree. Lexie almost threw up on the guy a few times, and really, I don't blame her. I was eating dinner during that part and had to stop. Derek's sister (he has like 5) came to visit and told him that she wanted to hear how he was since he didn't call after he was shot. Come to find out, Baby Shephard was just five when she and Derek witnessed their father shot at the store he owned. So Derek was trying to shelter her. It was a sweet moment, and made me lust after Derek even more.

Also, stuff has happened with Teddy, but I hate her, so I'm not going to tell you.

Like I said at the beginning, this season of Grey's is turning out to be amazing. Hopefully it stays really good.

THE AMAZING RACE

So, we're well into the new season of The Race, and have already been to Africa. I think they need to keep that as an early episode so we can have as many people cry or comment on the state of the country they're in, coming from the rich, white America. Wow, didn't realize I'd get on a soap box so early in today's post.

This is the first season that I actually like all the teams. The only team still left that may make me hate them is the tattoo couple. He was such a dick to her last episode, at the school in Africa, but, he redeemed himself a bit when he told us, later, that he was being a dick and he hated that he acted that way. Okay, you get once, and then you're dead to me.

Kinda in love with Harry Potter and his cute friend

In the last episode the singing sorta gay guys from Princeton (I just had to look that up to see if it was spelled right. Hello irony) came in first, which I loved, because I kinda love them. When they get their clue at the start they are instructed to get on a flight to the Arctic Circle. I don't know if that's supposed to be capitalized, but it looked right to capitalize it. They're going to Sweden, visiting the Ice Hotel where they'll find their next clue. There are so many things about those last two sentences that I wouldn't do. All teams are given the same flight out, but aren't obligated to take that, i.e., there's a better flight, lets see what team was smart enough to figure it out.

Surprise!

While in the cab the Asian father/son (duh) figure out to call ahead, using the cabby's cell phone, and find a faster flight out. They find a flight that gets them into Sweden two hours ahead of everyone else. Let's see who fraks up their lead. When father/son (Kevin and Michael) get to the airport they tell father/daughter Gary and Mallory about the earlier flight and get them on board. At first I thought this was idiotic but then realized it was actually genius. If something goes wrong and they miss their connection, which is quite possible, then they still have a team they're trying to beat and not get eliminated.

Doctors Nat and Kat (the dumbest team name ever) decide to try and find an earlier flight as well and just as they discover it, HSN girls Brooke and Claire walk in, so they have to share. Connor and Jonathan (IVY League) finally figure out what's going on when parent/child teams are in the corner laughing their asses off and try and book the same flight, but by now it's closed. Once at their connection there's a moment we think Kevin and Michael won't make it, but they do, and they all arrive two hours before everyone else.

Once in Sweden they head to the dumbest place on Earth, er, the Ice Hotel, for their next clue. Since Michael and Kevin came in last the last leg, they have a Speed Bump. What I've come to realize is that the Speed Bump is either slight difficult or completely lame. In this one, they have to sit on the dumbest chair on Earth, made of ice, for ten minutes. So essentially, this Speed Bump means nothing. They do it, and I have to say, it looks very uncomfortable, but they get out of there extremely quickly. In fact, because of their speed and know how, they actually get to the next place first. It's some lodge that has dog sleds. I love dogs and sleds and I kinda like the idea sledding with dogs, but dogs aren't supposed to be slaves. I mean nothing is supposed to be a slave, except maybe horses and even that I'm a little touchy about. The team member has to grab flags on their way through a trail and give it to some dude. This whole trip to Sweden is sorta odd because all of the things they have to do are Eskimo-esque and I really thought they were in Sweden. Maybe I need an education about Sweden. Phil?

This picture is not a segway, but is oddly relevant.

Everybody but Mallory does it in the first try, but she gets it done and they race off again. It's about this time that the other set of teams finally make it in. So, we can assume that all of this up until then takes about 2 hours. Good to know. I mean, not really, but I just figured that out and thought I'd share it. It's a race to the dumb hotel and then they all get their clue. I realize, with the exception of Jill and Thomas that this is the dumbass group. Tattoo couple, Jock couple (Chad and Stephanie), and then the volleyball players who if you held a gun to my head I would not have remembered they were on this race. The Princeton guys are there but we know what they say about Princeton guys, right? Haha, I have no idea.

Until I saw this picture I had no idea what she looked like. Um.

Anyway, Jill and Thomas get behind on their way to the Roadblock and when they get there they start walking the wrong way and lose valuable time. Jill, wisely, thinks that maybe they might have to use the Express Pass at some point. For those of you who don't remember, Jill and Thomas arrived first at the first leg and got the pass. They're able to skip any task, using that. I have a crush on Thomas so I hope they use it because I don't know if they realize how far behind they really are.

Just about now the first set of teams show up to the Detour. This Detour is to sled down steep and slick hill on a bike-like thing or build a tent thing with bed and a small fire pit inside. Oh, in the sled one you have to make it down in under a minute and 58 seconds. Kevin decides for their team to do the tent because he doesn't see his dad being very physical. Personally I would think Michael would be able to do this because it's just sitting down and turning. Everybody else tries to go down the slope and falls. It's hilarious and looks very dangerous, which makes it even more hilarious. Everybody in this group finishes, after doing it at least a few times.

Kevin and Michael gave up their top spot, which would have been AWESOME since they were last and had a Speed Bump. The Docs end up in first place, dad/daughter in second and HSN in third, and Kevin and Michael in fourth, which, coming from last, isn't bad at all..

Wisely, when Jill and Thomas get there, knowing their last, they hand their Express Pass to the tent builder guy and breeze into 5th place. That was very smart of them to do that, they would have lost. Although, maybe not. All four remaining teams try going down the hill and the only couple that make it are Nick and Vicki, the tattoo/snowboarding/motorcycle couple who do it with their eyes closed. I was really hoping it worked out since I was scared for Vicki's life and sanity if she fell, and not because of the ice or the drop off of the mountain. They check in sixth.

Unfortunately Chad and Stephanie are having a hard time doing it. Um, the slide down the hill. Um, going down the slope. Ah, you know what I mean. After a few tries Stephanie is too scared and wants to give up. Chad is visible upset but not as steroid crazy as he was earlier in the race. They start on the tent and the other teams, IVY League and Volleyball both decide to switch as well. Chad and Stephanie are obviously happy since they thought they were last.

Tricky editing makes us think it's a close race between Volleyball (still, who are they?) and IVY League, even though IVY hadn't even gotten their fire built when Volleyball left. So, alas, on the day of their graduation from Princeton, the IVY's are knocked out. I'm sad, I thought they were adorable.

HAWAII 5-0

Yes, I'm using my first post back in MONTHS to talk about Hawaii 5-0. I saw the pilot a few months ago and last night I watched it again, because of this...

Don't tell me you don't like that, I know you do. Not only do you have this to look at...

But you also have a really cool story with action and dare I say, good acting. Oh, and there's this...

It's on Mondays at 10am on CBS.