Incest is the best, put your brother to the test.
As much as it pains me to say it, the Passions Vendetta storyline has come to an end, mostly, with a few revelations about a few of our favorite characters, and some back right where they started, and oh, Chad and Whitney making out, what's going on?
Before the incest, let's talk about mermaids. We all know Siren's a mermaid, and for awhile there she was all about Miguel, trying to get him into bed and inflict the "mermaid curse" on him. I guess if you have this curse you'll never want to be with a human woman again. Kay tried her best to tell everyone Siren was a mermaid and no one believed her. Then, Kay got electrocuted and lost her memory. Well, that's not totally true, she got "selective soap amnesia". This is when, for dramatic purposes, the person loses just enough of their memory to make it interesting. Kay remembers everything in her life, except she thinks she's engaged to Miguel and not Fox, and she doesn't know anything about Tabitha's magic. Really? Yes, really. So it's not like she forgot about Fox, her brain made up new memories too. It's all quite confusing. And then Eve, who apparently went to the same medical school as Lexie Carver, told everyone not to tell Kay the truth, that it would fry her brain. Um, ok.
That's totally how I got my last boyfriend
So for the last few weeks Kay has been all over Miguel, much to Fox's chagrin. At first Miguel was resistant, but now he's decided he wants Kay, and is more then just playing along. In fact, although he tried to resist, he and Kay did it on the beach. Fox and Siren tried to get there in time, but they didn't make it. Fox was pretty upset when he found out. I'm actually happy to see Miguel and Kay together, as crazy as that sounds, since I've been around since the beginning, with Charity. But I'm not really into this new Fox. So Siren's decides to forget about Miguel and lore Fox into her trap. She sings her little Siren song and the idiot falls for it. They do it at the same time Miguel and Kay are doing it. With a little help from Endora, Kay finally gets another shock and her memory returns. A bit too late though.
Poor Luis is a mess. He, Fancy and Noah witnessed a missile hit the train Marty, Beth and Alistair were on. Yes, that does say missile. Of course, during their time in Rome, if Luis didn't have to keep saving Fancy every fifteen minutes, he would have Marty back. No one really brings that up though. Later, he has to break the news to Sheridan that Marty "died". Sheridan, played by a new woman who I think is just great, is probably five or six months pregnant with Chris' baby. In real time she's about nine months pregnant, but who's counting really? All the stress of Luis looking for Marty, and then finding out that he was killed, is too much for her. When Luis and Fancy get home from Rome, Sheridan loses the baby she's carrying. It's quite awkward too because she miscarries in the cottage. And then they don't even take her to the hospital. The paramedics just take the fetus out with them. She's devastated, and Luis thinks this is all his fault. Chris tries to comfort her, but we don't like Chris anyway because he was working for Alistair. While Sheridan was in the hospital originally, he came back to the cottage and burned some papers with that weird Vendetta symbol on it. Of course he missed one piece, that for the past two weeks has been under the couch, just out of sight.
The next day after the miscarriage though, Sheridan feels like she's ready to get back into the world. She and most of the Harmonites, head to the baseball field for Little Ethan's game. Sheridan, James, and Chris are selling lemonade. As nice as that is, it's a little weird that she's out living life when her two kids just died. Chris and Sheridan notice that Luis and Fancy are there, and Sheridan bores a hole in Fancy's forehead watching them.
What Sheridan soon finds out is that Luis has arrested Fancy. For getting in his way in Rome. Actually, not really. In a throwback to Sheridan and Luis' first encounter, Luis pulls her over and arrests her for having too many parking tickets. It's so nice to see Luis finally arrest someone. During their time in Rome, Fancy's become smitten with Luis and fakes like the Crane lawyers aren't getting back to her and since Luis wants to watch Little Ethan's game, he takes Fancy along, handcuffed. Don't ask me why he handcuffed her. Anyway, at the field, Sheridan doesn't look happy about it, even though she's the one that told Luis to move on with his life since she's with Chris. Of course she said that before she lost the baby, the main reason she was staying with Chris in the first place.
Eventually, Luis and Fancy leave the game and go back to the station. Because the lawyers aren't back yet, Luis has to throw her into a cell. He's also studying to be a detective again. See, you can be a cop again if you've been gone a year, but you can't be a detective again right away. He has to retake the detective's test. He's studying, and Fancy manipulates him (in a good way) to stay with her, that she'll help him study. And by help him study I mean play strip detective school questions. For every answer they get wrong, they have to take off one piece of clothing, ala strip poker. What Luis doesn't know is Fancy has the master answer list, so he's just taking off more and more clothes. I don't find anything wrong with her strategy. NOTHING. Eventually though, he starts asking her other questions that she doesn't have the answers to and she strips down to a cute little bra/undie outfit. She's rail skinny though, ribs sticking out. Pretty soon they have a little chase around the cell and end up falling into each other's arms. They kiss, which they both feel a bit odd about, Luis because he's still in love with Sheridan, and Fancy because Sheridan is her aunt. Afterwards, he lets her go and locks her out of the empty ass police station.
Poor TC. While Julian and Eve have been getting it on, he's been getting it on, with a bottle. Ewe, that's not what I mean. He's a drunk. And he decided the best thing to do when you're drunk is drive. Normally that's true, but on a long twisty road in New England, it doesn't work as well. He crashed his car and Eve rushed to his side. He was pretty messed up, even had a stroke. Julian was nice enough to send the Crane jet to pick up Whitney and Simone from Rome. When they got there TC was messed up. The stroke made him talk like a stroke victim. Luckily, it also took the nasty a**hole out of him too. He apologized to Simone for being a dick about the whole lesbian thing. Now, this whole TC thing has screwed up Eve and Julian's love life. Rebecca's finally given her OK for the divorce, so now that he's free to marry her, she's guilt ridden about TC and wants to be there for him. I really hope they stay together, I think Julian and Eve are so sweet together, and I like nice Julian way much more then I like mean Julian.
Speaking of Julian, he and Eve found out some disturbing news when Whitney got back from Rome. Chad was with her and the two of them started kissing. Before you throw up a little in your mouth like I did, know that they aren't related. Not really anyway. JT, the tabloid reporter that had the goods on Gwen, eventually showed Chad the truth that he and Whitney aren't brother and sister. In fact, pay attention here, Chad is actually Alistair's child with Liz. But don't worry, come to find out, Liz is adopted, and not related to Eve at all. Seeing that Eve is the older sister, I find this rewriting of history a bit odd, but I'll just go with it. Of course, two seconds after we found out that they weren't really related, they started going at it like rabbits. Okay, give us a little time to digest this before you throw these two in bed together. For the past year we've only thought of them as brother and sister and now you have them all over each other. Ewe. So if you're keeping score, Chad is now Julian and Sheridan's brother, Fancy and Fox's uncle, and Theresa's step-son. Hahahaha. That's awesome.
The only snag in their reunion is that Chad keeps getting on the phone with someone mysterious. It started mere moments after he hooked back up with Whitney. He's saying things like, "don't worry, we can still be together", stuff you'd think he was saying to a girlfriend. I honestly don't think that's what it is. He's spent the last year trying to hook up with the woman he thought was his sister, loving her so much that he didn't care they were related. Now, when he finally has her, he's seeing another woman? I don't think so. My theory is he's cutting some sort of album and he wants to surprise Whitney.
So, to my favorite storyline as of late, Theresa. I've always loved Theresa. Yeah, the whole, "admit it Ethan, you love me" gets real old sometimes, but I like the girl. I think the actress uses her hands too much, but I just try to ignore it. In Rome, Theresa found out the best news, something I've been theorizing for 6 or so years now, something I'm amazed the soap never brought up before, Ethan is Little Ethan's father. She was all excited to tell him, thought that this would mean he would come back to her. Nevermind that she already has a baby by him and he didn't come back to her then. Before she tells him though, he meets up with a random friend who he gives advice to. She overhears this and from the conversation, which I don't remember right now, she realizes that Gwen will make Ethan fight for custody of Little Ethan, and she'll lose both of them, just like she lost Jane. I think this is the best idea ever. And because of this, she realizes that Ethan will always do what Gwen wants, and doesn't have the cajones to leave her. In a tearful and skillfully acted scene, Theresa said goodbye to Ethan, telling him she's not perusing him anymore. Of course Gwen didn't believe it, but she's since realized that maybe it's not Theresa that's the problem.
At the Blue Note, Theresa, Chad, and Whitney decide to have a drink. There, they meet Jared. Hot hot Jared. He and Theresa butt heads, and we learn Jared's new in town. He calls Theresa "Tess" and they start a cute flirtation. Ethan doesn't like this, and it shows. And finally, Gwen starts to realize that maybe it wasn't all Theresa's fault she's been chasing after Ethan all these years.
I love Jared, in fact, it's obvious Theresa has a thing for him too, even though they fight like cats and dogs. At Little Ethan's game, Jared's playing at another field on Chad's team. He and Theresa fight a bit more, and he loves her energy. He goes all male chauvinistic though, saying how women bosses are horrible, and that Theresa's boss must be a major biatch, making her work while she's at her son's game. Obviously he doesn't know that she's Theresa Crane. Then he goes too far. Miguel, who's coaching Little Ethan's team, with his shirt all open and inappropriate, has a talk with one of the little girls on the team. Jared makes some sort of rude remark about women not being good enough to play baseball. This gets all the women standing there riled up and Theresa challenges him to a game, girls against guys. He agrees, with the other men, Miguel, Chad, Fox and Ethan, all telling him not to push it, that all those girls are good athletes. We should remember that Whitney was a world class tennis player until Chad came along and distracted her.
All the girls, Theresa, Siren, Kay, Whitney, and even Gwen, suit up and start playing the challenge. Theresa throws some practice pitches and the fancy editing makes it look like she's a pro. The game starts, it's shirts vs. skins. Which really doesn't make sense because the shirts the guys could be wearing are white and purple, and the shirts the girls are wearing are white and red. Wait, am I actually caring that the guys don't have their shirts on? I must be sick or something. Anyway, the game starts and Theresa starts to strike Jared out, before he hits a line drive to her face and she's knocked out. Ethan runs up to her, with concern, to which Gwen realizes how much he must love her. She eventually gets up and they continue the game. Whitney's all cute as the catcher, with her big hair in pig tails. Very Bad News Bears. Of course the girls win, and the lobster dinner Jared promises Theresa is scheduled for that night.
Jared and Chad show up to Theresa's mother's house to pick her up, and she's wearing a designer dress. This thing is just awful. But Jared, thinking Theresa's a working class single mom, thinks she made it herself. She doesn't have the heart to tell him the truth. When they get to the Lobster Shack, she feels a bit overdressed, and people stare at her. Jared thinks it's because of the dress, but it's because she's a Crane. After the dinner, she and Jared visit Luis and Fancy at the jail, and Theresa tells Fancy to go for it with Luis while Luis tells Jared to treat his sister good or answer to him. On the peer on their way home, Jared starts running his mouth off about the Cranes. In fact, he mentions he heard Alistair married some gold digging whore who is like Anna Nicole. Damn! Last I left off she hadn't told him about her being that money grubbing hobag.
Coming up on Passions... Spike shoots Chris, making Luis curious about his possible Alistair connection... Paloma's boyfriend Roberto shows up and proposes... Fancy asks Sheridan if she can date Luis!
Trying a little too hard
