SSIIGGHHH
Except when he had crazy eyes likes this
See, this is why I like China
The game started out simple enough, they split into two teams, had to build shelter and make a fire pit, which is always fun to watch people do. I'm sorry, but if I ever did this game, which I would not, I would get every McGyver book ever written and be able to make fire with my underwear and some monkey poo, because we all know every place they go has monkeys. Speaking of underwear, because this cast is utterly stupid, when they got to China they were dressed to the nines (for them) and when Jeff told them the game was starting, they were not in proper attire. Me, I would have been wearing four layers of clothes starting the minute I got off the plane. Or, you know, the minute the cameras started rolling.
See?
One tribe has a poker player, a queen, an anorexic, a female mullet, who I'll just call femullet, and a big black gravedigger named James, who I'll call James. The other tribe has a token Asian, I mean, we are in China, another queen, an ABW (angry black woman) and the hotness whose name is Erik, aka Mr. Tvgrrrl, MTVG. A little aside here, can we talk about how MTVG looks so much like my other boyfriend, Milo aka Peter from Heroes? Uncanny.
They all became fast friends and we learned that there is no exile island this season, BOO! Instead, they have a hidden immunity idol that's hidden at camp, sorta like last year. Remember last year when the guys found it and voted off Lici or whatever her name was that told them where it was. Hahah, suckers! The trick this year is that they get to "kidnap" a member of the other tribe after the reward challenge who will give a clue to one of the other tribe members of where the idol is. Fancy camera work tells us it's a placard on the frame of their shelters. Nice job producers, as if we couldn't think these people were any dumber.
Yay James!
During all of this, on the tribe that has MTVG, there's one big douchebag named Dave. See, at the first tribal council Jeff made the mistake of telling them that they needed a leader and asked who wanted to be next voted off. Dave raised his hand and said he'd take that leader role. Unfortunately he decided this is Jeff giving his permission to treat everybody like shite, and starts ordering them around. ABW doesn't like this and eventually tells him so. You go ABW, I'm with ya! This causes tension in the tribe. But don't worry, after a few days of this the tribe decides to vote douchebag Dave off anyway.
Over with James, the poker player, and the anorexic, the anorexic is looking more and more sickly and I'm thinking it's time the producers stepped in before she died. Usually it takes until the end of the game to get like this, but she was pretty much this way at the beginning. I'm sorta wondering why the casting people decided to cast her. Unless they wanted a Survivor death on tape, that'd be cool, although they'd have to change the name of the show. I mean, not cool if she wasn't a big time bitch. The poker player has me on the fence. He's cool because if he wanted to he could read all of these people like nobody's business, and maybe that's what he's doing, but he's rubbing everybody the wrong way. He's still there though, so I'm confused.
Over at the other team MTVG and Blondie (I really can't remember her name) are growing closer every day. I really like Blondie, so I'm okay with her crush on my boyfriend. And really, who could blame her. They have a heart to heart in the water and he confesses to her that he's a virgin. At playing Survivor? Oh, no, like a real one. That's sorta sweet, and extremely hot all at the same time.
ABW doesn't look so A anymore
Last episode they changed the game up a bit. James' team was given a note that told them to choose two players from the other team to come to their team. They figured out pretty quickly that they were trading players and thought about what would happen if the other team chose their best, James and sorta douchebag/sorta hot Aaron. They chose to have ABW and Frosti (I didn't make that up) who are both great players, come over to their side. When MTVG's team got the same note, they were happy because that meant they'd have two more members. Um, ok. Imagine their surprise when they got the other team's note that told them to send over ABW and Frosti. Ha ha! BURN!
There are so many things wrong with this picture
James and Aaron get there and immediately think they probably have a tough road ahead of them, since there are three of the other team and only two of them. I don't think they have anything to worry about. That's until I hear token Asian and Blondie strategizing. They say that Frosti and ABW will probably be kicked off while they're at the other tribe, and if they merge, that means that it'll be 3 originals from their tribal and 7 of the other ones, which they think means the other team will just pick them off. Okay, I'm with you there. So they decide to kick off Aaron and James immediately. And not just kick them off, they want to THROW the immunity challenges so they can do it. Okay, this I'm not okay with. I LOVE LOVE LOVE James. I think he's a good person. He actually had a mini crush on Femullet because she was a strong woman and hard worker, who was having business in the front and a party in the back. This plan really pisses me off.
It pisses me off more when they execute it. They do a horrible job at putting a puzzle together, even start laughing when they lag behind. Poor James is trying to figure out the puzzle but with these two girls trying to sabotage it he just gets frustrated. I feel sssoo sorry for him. He really is a sweet guy and this whole not playing fair thing is not something he likes. The other team wins the challenge. Oh, and just so you know, they were going to vote off the poker player, not one of the other tribe members. So there token Asian and Blondie!
Once they're back at camp MTVG doesn't know what happened and wants to know just as bad as Aaron and James, so he asks them. They admit to what they did and he seems fairly appalled. I tell my roommate, who's been dealing with my yelling the past five minutes about it, that this is the perfect time to align himself with the other guys. I know he has a thing for Blondie, and this whole virgin thing probably means that he's an upstanding guy, but this is wrong, so wrong.
James tells token Asian that he can't deal with people acting like this, and not giving it their all, and he'd rather go home then be a part of a team that doesn't even try. NNNOOO.
