God forgive me for what I'm about to say... The last episode of 24 wasn't that great. I mean, you know how I keep saying that if a show is as good as 24, or Grey's Anatomy, or LOST, that it's okay if it's not the best one because it's still at least good? That's how I felt. It was a good episode, but you can tell it was a filler episode. And I keep getting distracted by Keifer Sutherland's ears. Look at them, they're the attached lobes or whatever it's called. Disturbing. And for reasons unknown to the Universe I couldn't find any damn pictures from this week's episode except the few you see. Hopefully next week will be plentiful. Frakin' bastards.
I just want Jack to make him eat table
We start off with Cummings explaining to Jack and Logan about him hooking up with Nathanson. He said he definitely trusted some man in a dark room whom he never saw with national security. I mean who wouldn't. Apparently Nathanson's phone line has been disconnected so there's no way of getting him. Hmmm, suspicious. Jack believes Cummings though. Logan, being completely inept as we know, doesn't know what to do. Jack assures him that CTU will handle this, and says that he's going to go dark again. I prefer white meat myself. Jack doesn't want Kim to find out he's alive but Logan begs him to help them out, at least until the crisis is over. Logan gets that Jack isn't as loyal to him as he was to Palmer (ya think?) but says that he knows he's loyal to the office. And the bathroom down the street at IHOP. He tells Jack that he'll give him a full reinstatement, even though he knows this might be political suicide since the Chinese may find out about it I guess. Personally I think Jack should have asked for some money too so he's doesn't have to resort to being a day laborer once he goes back on the run.
The terrorists aren't having the best time. Erwich realizes they're SOL with the canisters. He wasn't smart enough to get that Schaeffer guy to undo whatever it is he did to the canisters before he killed him and now they can't be armed. One of his men insist they forget about this whole, killing Americans thing, and just focus on the true enemy, Russia. Erwich is pissed and lets the guy know it by sticking a gun in his face. He makes a valid point that now that the US knows the canisters are out there, it's gonna be a whole lot harder trying to get it out of the country. May as well just blow something up. That's my philosophy too. Let's just blow crap up.
In a truly disastrous storyline that I'm hoping will have some other point then making McGill look like a tool, his druggy sister calls from a pay phone. This bitch is skinny. Great casting because she's supposed to be a crack whore or something. She begs McGill for money, insisting it's not for drugs. Um, okay. Wish he had one of those handy video phones to see her nasty ass. He tells her he's sorta in the middle of something, you know, like saving the city from a nerve gas, and can't meet. She insists and I guess since he needed something else to do then sit around and cry to Buchanan, he agrees to meet her in a parking lot across the street. I hope he brings a cheeseburger and some fries.
Just about the time CTU realizes the canisters are useless without the new codes, Erwich gets a call from a guy named Rossler. He says someone has contacted him and asked him to help with getting the canisters armed. I'm not sure if he's in a hermetically sealed office building in LA or something, but he must not realize this tool is going to release it in LA. Anyway, he tells Erwich that he needs to cut the canisters open. Once he does that he has to give Rossler the codes and he can reset the canisters.
Luckily our boys and girls at CTU ain't no dummies. They've been monitoring all calls and hear the call between Rossler and Erwich. They trace it to an office building in LA. Buchanan calls Jack, who's in a helicopter. He's always in a helicopter. Jack rocks. Anyway, Buchanan tells him to go check this dude out. Rossler is some sort of software programmer or something. Curtis is going to meet them there. I love Curtis, remember last season when he got kidnapped. I've thought this cat was gonna die like eight times, mostly this season. I'm scared for him.
Chloe, and her sunny personality, tell Buchanan that Rossler's building has top of the line security and it's gonna be a bitch to hack into. She tells him that if he wants it done before Jack gets there, which we know he does, that they need Spencer. Edgar's not too keen on this idea. We all know he has a crush on Chloe, for reasons we aren't too sure about, and he doesn't want Spencer anywhere near her. Oh, and the whole, spying on them thing. Buchanan agrees to let Spencer come back, but insists he have an armed gaurd and a security wristband.
Jack calls Audrey and asks her to move her mouth when she talks. He also asks her to call Kim and have her come down to CTU. He doesn't want her to tell Kim he's alive, but to get her down there so he can break it to her himself. What excuse is she's gonna use to get Kim in there is anyone's guess. "Hey, ah, Kim, it's Audrey. Remember me? Yeah, well, can you come down here to CTU, you know, where your mother was killed, and oh, your father too."
Meanwhile, Erwich makes his way to an auto body shop and asks the sole attendant if they have any tools that can cut metal. He stupidly says yes and Erwich holds a gun to his head. He promises he won't kill him if he helps them cut into the canisters. Rule #1, never trust someone holding a gun, especially if it's pointing at you. Rule #2, trust no one.
Spencer comes back to CTU and is surprised Chloe helped him get reinstated and thanks her. She tells him not to jump the gun, that she just did it so he could hack the building, after that he's mince meat at the federal penitentiary where they'll call him Spencer the Clencher. Yeah, I don't know.
PAAAPPOOOWWWW!!!!
Martha confronts Logan about him almost sending her to the looney bin and he apologizes again. She slaps him across the face. Man, I've been wanting to do that for about a year or so. It's a girlie slap, but good enough. She tells him to never do that to her again. Well don't act all crazy and he won't. Sheesh. She also tells him that he's gonna need her help through this, as his confidant and will want her opinion. Novick comes in and Logan apologizes to him as well. He shakes it off and says they need to discuss the Cummings issues. He looks at Martha, as if it say, "Yeah, you wanna leave now, Daddy has some important business to take care of." Logan insists on Martha staying. Novick says that he feels they can cover the Cummings thing up fairly well and explains what they'll do. Martha doesn't like the idea of lying to the public. Does this bitch work in politics? What the public doesn't know won't hurt them, including a possible nerve gas exposure and the Chief of Staff being a traitor. Logan agrees with her and asks her to help write up a press statement. Since when does some looney lady get to be the press secretary? I'm sorry, this just pisseS me off. I mean, yeah, she wasn't crazy about Cummings, but she was crazy in the past.
In the auto body shop Erwich gets instructions from Rossler of how to remove the bottom of the canister to get the information they need to reset the arming device. At the same time Curtis meets Jack at the helicopter on the roof of the building next door. When Chloe tells him that Spencer is the one running this at first he's confused but then realizes it's 24 and Spencer was bound to be reinstated sooner rather than later, and to not point fingers at him because four hours ago everyone thought he was dead. Anyway, Spencer tells Jack the window to get to the guard and then into the elevator is just 60 seconds, so they have to hurry. They're able to get in after the video feed is cut and hold the guard at the entrance at gun point. They make him radio that everything is ok. Once in the elevator the video comes back online and the guards who are on Rossler's floor think something's up. They tell Rossler. Meanwhile, Jack knocks this other poor guard out. I feel bad for the guy, but not for long. Luckily they hadn't rotated shifts yet because if they had, the dude would be dead. Curtis and Jack come in, guns blazing, and kill the two guards. Curtis is hit and my heart palpitates a bit. He's okay, it was just in the vest, and they go into Rossler's office. They return some fire and shoot him in the leg, then secure him.
All of us keep Russian women in our closets. Mine is named Helga.
Chloe tells Jack that someone else is in the place, in the bedroom. Jack searches it and sees someone behind the bed. He makes her come out and it turns out Rossler is a nasty mofo. It's a young girl who's all beat up. When she realizes Jack's a good guy she says that Rossler is holding her there against her will. Being the sensitive man Jack is, he tells her he'll help, and then tells the medic not to give Rossler any pain medicine. As they interrogate Rossler, he's not too forthcoming. Jack has Curtis step on his wound and even that's not getting to him. He tell them that to make him talk, he'll need full immunity, a free ride out of the country, oh and he wants to take the girl with him. EEWWW. They realize they're gonna have to make the deal and McGill authorizes it. When Jack tells Rossler the deal is a go, he says he'll only talk if he has a singed agreement from the Attorney General, you know, that guy who warns us about cigarettes.
McGill slips out and goes to meet with his sister. She's happy to take his money because her pimp needs new teeth. He tells her he's not there to give her money, he just wants to give her the name and number of a doctor she should go see. Out of nowhere some crack head jumps out and attacks Samwise. Too bad Aragorn's not around, he would totally kick this guy's ass. So would Frodo for that matter, he's a little weasel. They attack McGill and take his wallet. His nasty sister apologizes as they run away.
Back at CTU Chloe tells Spencer that the honeymoon is over and he needs to go back to being shackled. He wants to continue helping but Chloe reassures him that Edgar can do the job just fine. After Spencer leaves Edgar tries to console Chloe. All that gets him is a swift kick in the nuts.
Knowing that he's getting what he asked for, Rossler tells Jack that he and Erwich just connected about half an hour before. Some dude from the Russian resistance army put them in contact with each other. Erwich will call him back once he has all of the numbers from the canisters at which time Rossler's supposed to update the chip. Erwich will then call him back and tell him where to meet up to give him the chip. Rossler plays a little harball and says that he won't give up the chip until he sees the agreement signed by the Surgeon General. When Jack calls Buchanan to see what's up with the papers he says they'll be ready any minute. Man, the government works efficiently when it wants to, doesn't it. Of course they probably got the Attorney General while he was on vacation in Crawford, Texas and that's why he's so available, but hey, as long as it works out for Jack. Buchanan also lets Jack know that the young girl Rossler had captive, Inessa, is actually just fifteen years old. Double eeww. Jack tells Rossler he can't take the girl and Rossler says that if he doesn't get the girl, the deal's off.
That's one strong ass sprinkler
At Camp Idiot, Martha is helping Logan with his speech. She has glasses on because we all know that not only do glasses make you look smart, they also make you not look looney. Well, sorta. She reiterates to him that he should take the blame for Cummings actions. I'm really not sure how this is good for him politically, but it sure will be funny. Hmph, I wonder if that's her plan. That would be even funnier. Novick calls with an urgent message. They can save more money if they switch to Geico. He also insists they come see what's up. They go to where Cummings was being held and he's hung himself with his belt. After Logan sees him they cut him down. Not sure why they didn't cut him down to begin with, I mean they could have just told Logan he killed himself, why did he have to see it. Or had he killed himself? If Martha hadn't been with Logan I would have said she did it.
Since Jack isn't doing anything better, he calls Audrey to see if she's called Kim. She tells him that she has better things to do than track down his bitch daughter and hangs up. Couldn't get ahold of her anyway. She's out banging Chase. I know that's what I'd be doing. Speaking of daughters, Inessa wants to know from Jack when she'll be going home. He says, "Yeah, about that..." and tells her she may have to go with Rossler after all. He assures her that agents will be following them and as soon as they get what they need from him, they'll get her back and she'll be safe. Since she's a fifteen year old Russian and the only men in her life have either sold her into prostitution or beaten her while they rape her, she doesn't exactly trust him.
Around this time the poor worker in the auto shop finishes cutting all of the canisters and Erwich has finished copying all of the numbers. Guess what happens next? Erwich shoots him. Were you really surprised? As the men put the canisters back in the truck he calls Rossler. Rossler pretends nothing's wrong and Erwich sends him the codes. Rossler tells him he'll have the updated chip in ten minutes and Erwich says he'll call him back with a location.
They all get ready to leave, Jack, Curtis, Rossler, and Inessa. Jack goes to Inessa to escort her when she whips out a gun. This girl must be a Russian assassin because from at least twenty feet away she gets at least two good trunk shots. Rossler's dead and so is their link to the nerve gas.
Hey, it's Flo from Alice. "Kiss my grits!"
