FLASHFORWARD

This show gives me a hard on. Until my Jack comes back in January, I'm allowed to cheat a little, right? I mean, Jack is off somewhere hopefully getting cured so what good am I to him now.

Like I was saying.

Until my Jack returns I will have to do my happy dance for someone else. His name is Mark Bendford. He's played by the delicious Joseph Fiennes who, unfortunately, isn't speaking with his British accent. Of course, if he was, I'd have to watch it while taking a cold shower. Although I know the second episode has aired, I've only watched the pilot and holy Mary mother of God, it was pretty freakin' good. Very reminiscent of the Lost pilot.

Long story short, FBI agent Mark (hottie) Bendford is chasing a terror subject when he suddenly wakes up in an upside down SUV. He gets out and realizes that the city around him as gone to shite. Airplanes have crashed, cars have run over people, buildings are on fire (not sure how some of those happen though) and everyone is standing around with a "WTF just happened?" look. Mark soon realizes, with everyone else, that everyone in the entire world had a blackout for about two minutes.

In Mark's blackout he's at FBI headquarters, swigging on a flask and looking at a board filled with what looks like clues in an investigation. Suddenly, masked men with assault riffles enter the room and Mark pulls his gun to defend himself. One guy, he notices, has three stars tattooed on his arm. That's where his vision ends.


This guy had a gun in his mouth when his flash forward happened. A gun in his mouth!!!

Mark's wife, a doctor, was operating on someone when she wakes up from her dream, the poor patient dead on the table.

Everyone is utterly confused and Mark, with his partner, try to unravel what could have happened. They soon learn that everyone in the world passed out at the same time and had these mysterious visions. One of Mark's FBI guys calls the person who was in his vision, who was in London, and she repeats everything that she saw which happens to match. They slowly realizes that these visions were actually "fast forwards" into the future.

There are so many wonderful things about this. Mark's partner, whose name is escaping me, but is played wonderfully so far by John Cho is worried because during his blackout he didn't see anything. What's that mean? Is he dead? Mark tries to assure him that that could just mean that he was asleep, and honestly, that's what I would think.

What I like about this show is it could have gone very cryptic, with people lying about their flash forwards, not telling everything, but in the first few chaotic hours, everyone is very forthcoming. In a not as smart show, people would be keeping their flash forwards close to the vest. One of the things that was so moving during the horrible day of 9/11 is when all the news networks dropped all ideas of ratings and backstabbing and shared information with their rivals, contacted other news organizations and got missing parts of the story so that nobody was without vital information on that day. It's much like that. Yes, there are some things that are kept to themselves, like Mark not telling people about drinking (he's sober) and his wife refusing to tell Mark about her flashforward, but these things are personal, nothing, at the moment, that seems vital to finding out what the hell just happened. Plus, his wife does eventually tell him what she saw, which was her with another man. This man better be Brad frickin' Pitt (or Jack Bauer) because seriously, what sane woman would leave this hotness?

Dude, seriously. Brad frickin' Pitt. Or Jack Bauer.

In the final minutes of the pilot, after going through hours of tape, one of the FBI analysts finds that out of all the people dropping like flies for those two minutes she's found one instance where someone was awake. In a stadium in Detroit. A man in black is seen, although grainy, looking around and then walking out of the stadium. Eerie. And interesting.

The date of the flash forward is in late April (just in time for sweeps) so now our team has to find out what happened and how to, for some, change the future, or even be in it. Hopefully the show doesn't get lost in the cool factor (I'm talking to you The Nine!) and keeps us guessing (I'm talking to you Lost!) and wanting more.

WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING KINGS?

A few months ago I was able to watch the pilot episode of this show. I had no idea what it was about and while at work, popped it into the DVD player. I sorta payed attention to it and after it was over thought it was just okay. I doubted I'd watch the series. Then about a month before the show started I watched the pilot again, this time on TV with no distractions. It was, in one word, AMAZING.

When it finally premiered it did so to dismal ratings. I understood why, people had no idea what it was. Well, if you were one of those people, let me tell you what it is.

It's a show that subtlety and not so subtlety references the Bible. A show that takes place in what seems to be present day NY, but is actually in some alternate reality or the future. You can draw your own conclusions but it seems there was a civil war and America was divided and fighting and the king was able to bring his people together and build a city out of ruins.

The show follows a lot of very complicated, well rounded characters who deliver smart and interesting dialogue. The king is played by Ian McShane who was the best thing about Deadwood, and there were a lot of good things about that show. He's perfect for the role. The rest of the characters, including our hero David, have flaws but are also heroic, and that's why I find the show absolutely captivating.

Basically David is one of seven brothers who live with their mother in some corn fields. Their father died in the war and now David and his brother Eli are fighting a new war, against a province called Gath, whom their father faught against as well. David finds out that a platoon has been attacked and prisoners taken. It's very similar to WWI and II where the front line is actually in trenches a hundred yards away from you. David hatches a one man plan to go over and get the hostages, which he does. He then faces down a tank (called a Goliath, get it????) and becomes a hero. We find out later as his brother Eli is dying that he wasn't facing it down, that he was giving up and nobody knows. Anyway, he becomes this hero that goes to the capital city of Shiloh and gets the ear of the king. The king is ruthless but loving, smart and wants the best for his country. Unfortunately his sinister brother-in-law has financed his rise to power and wants him to continue the very lucrative war. What's a king to do? There are about 120801283082048 more sub plots that I won't get into like David falling for the princess (natch) and the prince being a closet gay.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it or you don't get it, watch it. And I mean really watch it. Don't be making anything while you do it, reading something, you have to give it your undivided attention. I tried to watch one episode playing a game on my iPhone. Didn't go well.

I believe the episodes are On Demand and also available on www.nbc.com/kings. Please, I implore you, if you like smart and edgy, with dialogue and political drama, much akin to The West Wing, then you should definitely check it out. It's almost like The West Wing and Battlestar Galactica had a baby. But don't get scared, no space or anything.

GANG NATION

When I woke up this morning I didn't realize how disturbed I'd be by noon. I'm watching a marathon of the I.D. Channel's Gang Nation. It's about this guy, Ross Kemp, who is a cross between Michael Chiklas and Tom Collicchio from Top Chef.

Ross is an investigative reporter who goes around the world looking at different gangs. He interviews them, their victims, and does a voice over about how he's feeling when he's doing something like boot camp with Nazis. He's thoroughly disgusted by these people but he risks his life to get the story out. I'm kind of in love with him.

MY LIFE STARTS AGAIN ON SUNDAY

Yes, after getting a small glimpse into the life of my dearest love, Jack Bauer is officially back on Sunday, January 11th at 8pm. My Jack hasn't been around for a really really long time. Almost two years. And then he came back briefly a few weeks ago, teasing me. He's such a tease. But the world needs him again. Since the 24 movie Jack has been arrested and taken back to the United States to face trumped up charges or something, I don't know. All I know is Jack will be in a suit at some point and my loins are already quivering. He'll be whisper yelling in no time, and the suit will soon be just slacks and the undershirt, which again = quivering loins. Tune in to see the love of my life save the world this Sunday at 8pm on FOX.

IT'S HERE!

This Sunday on Fox my Jack is back! Yes, for two whole hours we'll get to see my Jack save some kids in Africa or something. And I think Tony is back too. I'm not totally sure, but whatever, Jack! How I missed you! Did you get my letter telling you of my love? For two hours on Sunday I'm going to feel so safe and loved! I've missed you my Jack! See you on Sunday!

GHOST WHISPERER

When this season's Ghost Whisperer started I'd heard rumors that something big was going to happen in the 6th or 7th episode. Maybe I should have prefaced this by telling you not to give me shite for watching this show. I like it. You know I like it. I used to hate Jennifer LOVE Hewitt. I mean, whose middle name is "Love"? Dumb. And she dated John Mayer so I wanted to really beat her face in. Then I saw her on this show and fell in love with her. She's still very cheesy and very silly, and probably one of those women who you know that crochets you doilies for Christmas. Anyway, back to what I was saying...

When the season started I was scared. Not just because of the ghosts. I heard rumors that the big thing that would happen in the first few episodes is that Jim would die. I thought, no, they couldn't do that. Jim is all kinda of sexy, the best husband, and did I mention sexy as hell? Then, the episode aired that I thought may be the one. I almost fast forwarded the episode to just see the end. Sure enough, at the end, Jim gets shot, but only in the shoulder. Whew, I was so worried.

Unfortunately, at the very last minute Jim had an embolism or something and died. Yes, died. WTF? They killed Andrea the first (2nd?) season, I thought for sure they wouldn't do that again. So here Jim is, wandering around, with his dead brother and eventually Melinda trying to get him to move on. He won't though, he wants to stay with her. I have visions of the next few seasons would be her trying to help people with his ghost following her around. Boring. And the announcer promised me a few times that their love would "transcend even death". WTF does that mean? Can you tell I was agitated?

Anyway, last week, Jim noticed that when people died and didn't have any unfinished business they would just leave their bodies and walk into the light. So at the end of the show, as Melinda begged him to go into the light he saw his chance and jumped into an accident victim after his soul left his body. There are so many things wrong with that. First, that is not his body to take. Second, don't you think that's TOTALLY against God's plan, whatever you think that may be, it's just wrong. And thank goodness the guy didn't have any horrible injuries, you know, like a scarred face or something. Plus, how messed up for his friends and family, right?

But get the guy wakes up and although he looks like the guy to everyone else, he looks like Jim to Melinda and he doesn't remember her! Yes! It's like a past life. In the coming weeks he starts to feel connected to her in some odd way, and they have to fall in love all over again. As much as I hated to see Jim die and the horrible mourning I did with the rest of the characters, I sorta love this plot twist! RIP Jim, hello NewJim!

LIFE ON MARS

I love that. Hated it before, love it now!

A few months ago I read this script. I knew it was a foreign (British?) show and after I read the script I spit on it, lit it on fire and took some of that twilight drug to make me forget the last hour. Seriously, it was so bad. I didn't know how anyone could make such doodie.

Now, more then a month into its season, this show is AMAZING. Like I think it's my fave show. At least close to the top. I don't even know why I watched that first show since I hated the script so much but I'm so glad I did.

Seriously! Golden!

Really, you'd be thinking the same thing, or maybe you did. A show about a guy who gets hit by a car and ends up in the 70s. Huh? That sounded dumb just writing it. The biggest question I had was "how did he get there?". At first that question was said with an eye roll and a head shake. Now I ask the question like I ask a question about Lost, "where did the island go". My sarcasm is completely gone. I am ALL FRAKKIN' IN.

Sam's mentor who in the 70s is an up and coming detective. Really, genius.

Sam Tyler is a cop who gets hit by a car in present day NY and wakes up in the 70s where he's a new transfer to his old police precinct. In this new/old precinct things are done truly old school, no Miranda rights, no women doing detective work, and lots and lots of witness ass kicking.

Come on! I giggle when I see this.

The cast is beyond stellar. Jason O'Mara plays Sam. He is all kinds of adorable. I saw him at a party a few months back and he's completely normal sized. Not tiny and not huge. Lisa Bonet plays his love in present day. Harvey Keitel and Michael Imperiolli (from the Sopranos) play his lieutenant and fellow detective, respectively. Havery Keitel as a hard nosed detective. Not exactly out of the box casting, but perfect nonetheless. Gretchen Mol, yes, ex-model Gretchen Mol plays a lady police who helps women and children but who should be a detective herself, but they don't promote dames! Hahhah.

Not only is Sam trying to figure out where/when the hell he is, he's also working cases as a detective. He figures if he solves something there it'll send him back to the his present to be with the woman he loves. This sounds like Quantum Leap and I LOOOOVVEE Quantum Leap. Usually if a show really excels in one respect it loses focus in another. This show's meat and potatoes is the cases Sam investigates with sprinkles throughout of his old life that he comes across randomly, making him wonder what is reality and what is a dream. For instance, he wakes up in the middle of the night and is watching a professor give a lecture on TV but it suddenly turns into a doctor talking about how he (Sam) is in a coma, like he's explaining it to family members. At some point Sam's heart even sounds like it stops beating. People appear and disappear. I love this show!

There are so many things right about this picture.

Can you tell I love this show. Watch the first two episodes. If you aren't in love with this show then your heart is dead. No, if you don't like this show after 2 episodes fine, but if you like any of these shows: Law and Order, Lost, Quantum Leap, NYPD Blue, Kojak, any good show ever!, you're going to love this.

TRUE BLOOD

Have you been watching this? I've been watching this and I've been sorta digging it. If you haven't heard about it short story is vampires have "come out" of the vampire closet. Vampire is the new black. Like black person. It's like Louisiana in the 50s, or yesterday, but instead of "lynch" mobs running after Pappi, they're running after the local vampire, who, in this case, happens to be the hotness.

Sookie is our main character, played by Academy Award winner Anna Paquin, who has mastered a southern accent from her times playing Rogue in the X-Men movies. Now, Sookie can read minds, which is kinda cool, but she never does it to benefit herself, she kinda just happens into other people's thoughts, and they are usually extremely sexual or hateful. Only twice has she used it to anyone's benefit and both times it was to the benefit of vampires. Speaking of vampires, she's getting it on with sexy Bill, played by, who cares, he's hot. I do kinda think I only think he's hot because he's a vampire. I'm a sick bitch. Bill has wandered back to his hometown and has fallen for Sookie, because really, who wouldn't?




But Bill faces some opposition to Sookie's heart, not from Sookie but from her best friend Tara, who is the most interesting character on the show, Sam, her boss and wanna-be lover with his sexy self and just about every other frakin' person in the town. Oh, accept for her grandmother, but oops, grandma is dead, killed by the person who's been killing vampire-lovers since the first episode. Yeah, I don't know either.

Anyway, the show is a mess. Truly, it's a mess. I'm not saying I don't like it, but there is not one consistent character. Sookie is sorta consistent, but again, she doesn't use her never explained powers for her benefit and even after a lifetime of having them, she hasn't learned to hone them, with no real desire to apparently.





Sam is her boss and has been in love with her from day one and who goes into fits of jealousy when he realizes she's given Bill the goods. But, he's never acted on his desire and is seemingly a pu**y when it comes to that. In an ironic twist, he's also a dog. Or, something. Sam slept with Tara because again, like Sookie, she's hot, and ended up barking in his sleep. Weird, but sometimes I dream I'm someone else. Not a dog or anything, but still, in the realm. But, then last week he's seen running naked through the woods. What? I'm not saying I would complain if I saw him running towards me, naked, but still, strange.





This is the only picture of him I found on a quick Google search. Guess we know how he got the job. Again, I'm not complainin'.

Jason, Sookie's brother, is freakin' hot. I would totally do him. Wait, I wouldn't, he's dirty. He basically screws everything in a 50 mile radius except his sister, and vampires. He's also a drug addict, addicted to "V", vampire blood. It's basically like "E", makes you all sexual and gives you hallucinations. Oh, and we found out the little known fact that vampire blood heals you. That's thanks to Sookie getting her ass kicked and Bill saving her with his blood. Anyway, Jason wants to be a good guy, but then every single thing he does is either slutty, bad or stupid. I don't see the point of his character except to make me happy looking at his body.



Really, the only person who is consistent is Tara. Her backstory is interesting, she has a crazy mother who she needs to take care of, she can't love anyone because she really doesn't love herself, she hates it, but she's in love with Jason because he protected her as a kid, and she's sleeping with Sam, because really, who wouldn't, but still can't reconcile with herself that she even wants or deserves to be happy.


And even the characters that are all over the place, they're still interesting, and if I'm going to believe that vampires exist, I guess stretching my mind out a little more to encompass the ridiculousness of some of those people is worth it. Speaking of vampires, I love them. I want them to bite me. So if anyone reading this is or knows a vampire, please tell them to contact me. But I only want a super hot one to bite me, like him...

I miss you Mick.

MY MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIE

I haven't done movie trailers here for awhile, so to introduce them back in, I give you the best movie trailer and my choice for favorite movie of '08, Wanted. There are a few different trailers so I'm just connecting you here to the Apple webpage so you can view any or all of them. Between the megabeautiful Angelina and the HOT HOT HOT James McAvoy I nearly lose my panties every time I watch this.

DEADLIEST CATCH- YAY!

OMG, I totally missed the beginning of this! It started April 3rd!!!! Good news is I can marathon! I've missed you Edgar Hasen!!!!!!

UPDATE: Sometimes I love being wrong. Okay, not normally, but I do now. This actually premieres THIS Tuesday, April 15th! We didn't miss it!

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA IS BACK BABY!

On Friday, April 4th, the beginning of the end, ah, begins. Hmph. Catch the first 10 episodes of the last 20 episodes of Battlestar Galactica, arguably (not by me) the best show on television on SCI FI. If you need a refresher on the last few episodes of season 3 go here or here. It's gonna be frakin' good!

And check out this awesome picture and clues to the new season! No spoilers!

HELL'S KITCHEN

Sexy beast!

This show seems obnoxious. But, as you know, I've just discovered Hulu and have been watching things I wouldn't normally watch. I watched last night's premiere and I gotta tell you, it's kinda good. Now, it's no Top Chef. In fact, if Top Chef was The Bachelor, Hell's Kitchen is Flavor of Love. That's what my friend says anyway, and I have to agree with him. Top Chef, which I love, takes established chef's and let's them create interesting and just about always edible dishes. Some of the judges may say things are a little tasteless, but I haven't seen an episode yet where Padma throws up in a bucket next to the table after she tries one of this dishes. This happened in the premiere episode! You can't tell me that doesn't intrigue you. He throws up! Granted, the chef/stay at home dad, does make just about the nastiest thing I've ever seen, but Gordon Ramsey actually throws up in a garbage can.

Speaking of Gordan Ramsey, as much as Tom Collichio can give his contestants the eye and tell them they didn't put enough ceviche in their dish, Gordan is down right crazy. He yells, cusses, and throws things throughout the whole episode. Is it wrong that I'm sorta crushing on him?

If you think this person is a man, you'd be right. I wasn't.

These people can't cook, this is obvious. They split the teams by gender and appoint captains who do piss poor jobs. There's some restaurant that they claim is opening for them to serve the actors, er, customers, which is all set up and fake, but I don't care. I love seeing crazy Gordan yelling at these ridiculous people and the crap they put on plates to feed people is both disgusting and wonderful all at the same time. Love it!

TRASHY IS AS TRASHY DOES

Ha, you wish buddy.

I don't know what it says about me, but I watch a lot of TV. And, I watch a lot of trashy TV. Although, I like to call it "Trashtastic".

My latest Trashtastic fave is Rock of Love 2. Of course, I'll probably change that once I watch Celebrity Rehab. I only caught the second half of the pilot last weekend so I can't say it's my favorite yet, although, seeing a high (?) Jeff Conoway's butt crack is pretty damn exciting. I mean not exciting like in the hot way, yuck. Exciting as in the dear baby Jesus what the hell happened to him way.

Anyway, to my current Trashtastic love affair. I don't think I wrote about this before, and I don't know why I didn't. It's heaven. And when I say heaven I mean the whorish, trashiest, almost sad, but too good to be sad, piece of reality show filth that's come out in a long long time. I'm not counting the sad crusty Tila Tequila which I refused to watch.

So the premise... (I sorta feel dirty already)

Bret Michaels, of Poison fame, wants to find love. In fact, a few months ago he did this dating show that brought 20 sexy (trampy) girls together in a house and had him choose which one would "rock his world". Think The Bachelor, but instead of there being a hot Navy guy, Firestone heir, etc., it's Bret Michaels. And instead of 20 teachers, lawyers, assistants, nurses, it's 20 skanks, half of them are strippers, porn stars or waitresses (not that there's anything wrong with waitresses) and the other half are between job hos that look like Trashtastic Barbie. Oh, that would be awesome if they made that. I bet she'd look like this...

So, at the start of the show Bret tells us how he was heartbroken last year when his #1 Ho broke his heart. Now he's back and ready for love, and to get paid again by VH1. Remember when VH1 played awesome New Kids on the Block videos? I'm old. Not as old as Bret though, although he tries to convince us that he's 40. Dude, you are so not forty. Maybe ten years ago. Anyway, he gets to the house and he's greeted by the 20 slutty, er, lovely, girls. They're stoked to see Bret (walking) since they've been fans forever. Some longer then others.

He chooses some hos to be his VIP group and they marvel in the attention Bret has given them right from the start. He likes them as much as he likes his wig. And let me tell you, he and his wig are best friends. If you watched the show last season, which of course I did, you would have noticed that Bret was never seen without his trusty bandana. Or his leopard print leather pants, but that's a story for another time. Little do these girls know that it doesn't matter who he sees first, all that matters is whose tongue in in his mouth last.

Wha-? Huh?

The girls go around the house and choose their rooms. Yawn. And then they have their photo session with Bret. Any other show this would be a fun time for Bret to get to know each girl, see how confident she is taking pictures, but no, it's a slut off. I love slut offs. I always win. Anyway, they start out tame enough, with the girls doing the finger in the mouth, skanky, but ok, not bad. But the ante goes way up when one hobag from France comes in and lifts her shirt up for the picture. And that's not enough, she lifts her big underwire bra up to her neck. And take it from me, that is not comfortable. France is bringing it. And Bret likes it. Of course he does, he wants to find true love. And what says true love more then showing your coconuts to a man you've just met.

Classy.

All the girls also take this time to stick their tongues in Bret's mouth. Except one girl, who I'll call Princess. Princess is actually my hero, sorta. She tells Bret that she's sort of a germaphobe, and she doesn't like kissing him after all those girls. Honey, that's not called being a germaphobe, that's calling not waiting to get The Clap. I know, I know, but you should see these girls. At this point Bret is both appalled and intrigued. Because he would be.

After Annie Lebowitz takes his Pulitzer Prize winning photos everyone retires to the pool area for a nice gathering of the minds. Ha, sorry, I couldn't keep a straight face. So they go to get sh*tfaced and try and screw Bret. Man, this show is so good. He gets some face time with his four VIP girls who just giggle and make out with him. They are totally in. Well, maybe. One of the girls tries to have a meaningful conversation with Bret, but her downfall is when she mentions that everything she knows she's learned from myspace. Of course, she didn't mention that it's how to slut out.

As Bret tries to get face time with all the girls a few of them are a little shy. I mean, it is quite overwhelming. But in this game you have to be able to go over to him and sit on his lap, naked, in front of the other 19 girls and the entire crew. Or you can go into the living room where the stripper pole, yes, stripper pole, is set up and do a little dancing. Bret loves that.

Bret then has to go make his decision. Which sluts to keep and which to get rid of. Of course the ones that didn't sit on his face are out. Oh, and the one he didn't get to meet because she got so wasted she passed out on the couch. Trust me honey, you made the right decision. Alcohol poisoning is a much better option then hanging out with Bret.

As to be expected, during the elimination ceremony he chooses the crazy hos and the ones whose jubblies he got a good look at. And thankfully he keeps the Princess, since she intrigues hm. I mean, he's never met a woman who didn't want to swap spit with him in the first ten seconds.

The last girl he chooses though, she tells him that she doesn't think she's cut out for this, wishes him luck, and leaves. Good for you girl, leave while you have at least some of your dignity. That leaves Bret to choose between an old girl or his smart myspace girl. He decides to go with the old girl. Even Bret has standards.

So, this season, I can tell, will be better then last, especially because Bret tells us that he's looking for someone to connect with on a spiritual level. And by spiritual he means dirty sexual. This show isn't for everybody, and if you have any self respect you'll probably need a really strong stomach. But if you have these two things and can laugh at dumb hos running around naked and trying to impress a bald has been hair band singer, then by all means, do it. It's TRASHTASTIC!

AMERICAN GLADIATORS

Don't tell me you didn't have your own pair of white high tops

Is it wrong that I'm sorta obsessed with this show now? My roommate isn't caught up on Desperate Housewives, so on Sunday night we decided to avoid the ladies of Wisteria Lane and see if Ben Silverman was smoking crack when he decided to greenlight the remake of American Gladiators. I don't know about you guys, but that show brings back a lot of memories for me. Of course, I don't exactly remember them specifically, but I do remember Nitro, and how crazy and fun the show was. Apparently, a lot of people did because it's done great for the network the last two nights it's been on.

Wolf. Sigh.

Typically, to reinvent something from a late 80s, early 90s model, you're going to make it "super" or more high tech, or something. Nope, this is exactly like the first one which, unlike some people, I love. The only thing that may have changed though are the gladiators themselves. These people are giants! The one guy is 6'8'' and 290 pounds. Sweet Jesus. Of course they all have "personas" and so far my favorite is "Wolf". At first I was scared of him, looking like a poor man's Wolverine, but then I realized, he looks like (excuse me while I geek out) Wolverine and Sabertooth from The X-Men had a oddly hot love child. I can't deal. Something about him is sexy and I love it when he howls. Wow, never thought I'd write that in a sentence.

The women look like East German divers (the men's team) with the exception of my new girl crush. Ironically her name is "Crush". She looks like a hot Posh Spice, with meat on her bones and the ability to break any man in half. Plus she has a cute haircut and kills it on the Joust, one of my favorite events.

OMG! Love. Her.

Look, this ain't Survivor or the Amazing Race, or even The Price is Right, but it's fun and the casting, both gladiators and competitors I think is top notch. Check it out on NBC.

LITTLE SUPERSTAR (I can't deal!)

ALEC BALDWIN IS A GENIUS

THIS is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Why don't I watch this show?

REAPER

There's a little show on The CW called Reaper. It began airing two weeks ago and I'm kinda in love with it. It's about a slacker guy who works at a Home Depot type store called "The Work Bench" with his best friends Sock and Ben, and the girl of his dreams, Andy. When Sam turns 21 he finds out that his parents sold his soul to the devil before he was born. The devil, played by the brilliant Ray Wise tells him that he has to work off his debt by collecting souls that have escaped from hell.

With his friends' help, Sam gets special vessels every week from the devil to help him nab the souls. He flops his way through the tasks, nearly getting killed and inventing cool ways to help get the souls without him and his friends getting vaporized in some way. They are hilarious.

This show is cute, and so is Sam. He has a Ben Affleck look, but younger and cuter. I'm in love. The show reminds me a lot of Chuck, one of my favorite fall shows, but with a sci fi twist. I watched the second episode yesterday and realized again what made me fall in love with the show a few months ago when I saw the pilot.

If you haven't yet checked it out, you really should, I laughed out loud continually. Oh, and that girl of his dreams that works with him, she works for the devil too, just not sure exactly what she does yet. Or what she wants with Sam.

DIRTY SEXY MONEY (my normal Saturday night)

So I didn't watch this pilot early, but everybody I know said it was good. So I went to the ABC website today and streamed it. Both the pilot and last night's episode. I gotta tell you, this show is good. THIS is how you make a show that has a little intrigue, naughtiness, trannies, and spoiled rich kids. Take that Gossip Girl, and shove it up your asses. Sorry, that show offends me with it's stupidity.

The show centers around an attorney, the lovely and talented Mr. Peter Krause, who's father worked his entire life for the filthy rich Darling family. When his father dies suddenly in a mysterious plane crash, Nick decides to take his father's place as lawyer, confidante and protector, especially to Daddy Darling, Tripp, played by the love of my life's real life father, Donald Sutherland. One of these people may have killed his father, and finding out the truth is his number one priority. Of course, the $10 million a year charity donation Nick gets to divvy out to the causes he used to put time into his a nice bonus. He won't become his father, who, by the way, had a 40 year affair with matriarch Letitia (snort) Darling. Anybody else think maybe Nick has a sibling in the family?



Can we talk about what a beautiful tranny this is?

Nick has to babysit the younger Darling kids, including the not nearly as sexy as he used to be, looking a lot like Alec, Billy Baldwin, who being pushed by his father to run for the Senate, even though he's afraid his continual affairs with transgendered men will come to light. But, like his siblings, there's something sweetly endearing about him. Yeah, he's having an affair, with a man (sorta) but she really loves him and they have one of the more tender moments in the second episode.


The one problem I had with the first episode and most of the second was the one son, Brian, who I thought was a priest the whole time, who ends up having a young son that he knows about and refuses to take any responsibility for. Come to find out he's just a pastor, or something, because he has a wife and kids. So much better if he'd been a priest, but whatever. He's so miserable and such and asshole, for no real reason other then he's just a dick. Towards the end of the second episode though he starts to redeem himself.


A set of twins, one a would-be actress whose father pays her way through plays and who finally, with a good speech from Nick, decides to go her own way. Her twin brother, whom she seems very close to, is a drifter as well, but seemingly with a heart. He's wining and dining a girl behind his sister's back, but he feels bad about it. Let me also note that the actor who plays the twin brother was Famke Jensen's doomed son on Nip/Tuck forever ago. He was so good in that.





The second oldest sister is a thrice divorcee who is still in love with Nick, her first love, and lover, who she constantly tries to get, even though she has a fiancee and Nick is happily married. She's gonna get annoying, but maybe not. She knows who she is. She's a woman who can't find love because she's still in love with the one guy who treated her right. So she drinks and says inappropriate, yet funny, things.


And Nick's wife is a saint, love her, and love that they went against the norm and wrote her not to be the nag who annoys her husband into an affair. Even though he spent his whole life not wanting to because his father, she supports his decision, being his sounding board, and playing devil's advocate. Not to say she's a push over, but she's not your stereotypical TV wife. She's Jim from Ghost Whisperer. They have a daughter, played by Elle Fanning, sister to Dakota and his daughter in the Sci Fi mini-series The Lost Room. Oh, but I just found out that she's only in the pilot. That sucks, she's such a cutie.


What I like about this show, unlike that other tumor that is called Gossip Girl, is these people don't fit the stereotypes, at least not in the conventional spoiled brats sorta way. Are they spoiled, yeah of course they are, they're ridiculously rich, but there's something intriguing and compelling about them that I just want to watch. And as nutty as they are, I find myself actually caring about them.


Go to ABC and stream the first two episodes, you won't be let down.