Friday, September 29, 2006

MORE MOVIES!

Ever since the summer ended there hasn't been any great movies coming out. I was able to find the ones below. Don't forget what I usually say... Don't blame me if it sucks, I'm just going off the trailer. Fur looks great, and I'm not really a Nicole Kidman fan, except in Moulin Rouge. Stranger than Fiction with Will Ferrell looks hilarious in that non-Will Ferrell way. If Will Smith doesn't win something for The Pursuit of Happyness I don't know what the world is coming to. And Eragon I want to see because it's mythological time with black people. Yay! Enjoy!

We Are Marshall
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wearemarshall/



Deliver Us From Evil
http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/deliverusfromevil/




The Pursuit of Happyness
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/thepursuitofhappyness/



Jet Li's Fearless

http://www.apple.com/trailers/rogue_pictures/jetlisfearless/






Fur






Stranger Than Fiction





Eragon






Babel

A Good Year
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/agoodyear/


Code Name: The Cleaner (hahahah)
http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/codenamethecleaner/





The Grudge 2
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/thegrudge2/




Home of the Brave
http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/homeofthebrave/





A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/aguidetorecognizingyoursaints/




The Hoax





Man of the Year (hahaha)

THE HOUSEWIVES ARE HERE!

My Tivo ate the first half of the show and I'm just now getting around to seeing the whole thing. Wow, what a vast improvement from a year ago. The show is back to the show we know and love. Now, I'm not saying it won't slip and go too far and make me want to ring Skeletor's neck, but the opener was great. Funny, quirky, and not too much of any one character, something I think may have been a problem last year.

Mary Alice does a little recapping of what happened right after it ended last year. She tells us that, although it sucked for 24 episodes, we're back to where we were the end of the 1st season. She also tells us to forget about the Applewhites and any other part of last year's season that turned your stomach. Which was really most of it. So if you remember, Mike got run over before he could propose to Susan, by Orson, who he nearly called out at the dentist office for knowing him. Gabby just kicked Carlos out for doing Xiao Mei and is going through her divorce, Bree and Orson have gone out on their first date, and Lynette is trying to deal with that bitch Nora, Tom's love child's mother.


Flash now to six months later. Everything is basically the same, except Mei is now enormous and making Gabby wait on her hand and foot and calling her a bitch. Oh no, if she wasn't pregnant I would encourage Gabby to kick her ass. Maybe she can do it now, aim high. Gabby does put her in her place and tell her that she could be living with Carlos in his one bedroom apartment with no air conditioning. That shuts her up. Then Mei calls her a bitch and Gabby says that when she's done popping out the baby she's shipping her back to China or wherever. Mei's upset because Gabby promised to get her an apartment in Chinatown with her friend. Mei runs away and Gabby and Carlos try to find her. Of course when Gabby goes to Chinatown and finds Mei's friend who she's going to work for, things don't work out well and Mei's friend throws food on her. Looks kinda like sweet and sour pork. I hope she eats it, it's probably all the nutrients she'll have in a few days. Actually, that's not true, Gabby looks like she gained some weight. Good for her. Fat girls unite! Edie eventually finds Mei in the closet in Paul Young's house, which she's selling. Uh oh, she's been a wery wery bad girl.



Poor Susan. Unlike Meredith from Grey's, Susan decided eating wasn't her thing. She's devastated over what happened with Mike and goes to visit him every day. She exercises him, and shaves him and talks to him. It's very sweet. At the hospital she ends up meeting Ian, played by Dougray Scott. Talk about a handsome man. Whoa. Unfortunately they don't let him use his sexy Scottish accent, although he does have an English one. Still sexy. Damn. After seeing each other getting coffee a few times, they strike up a conversation, and a flirtation. He buys her a cheap watch because he notices she doesn't have one. He has to take most of the links out of it so it'll fit around her bone.


She brings strawberry smoothies to him in his wife's room. His poor wife's been in a coma for 3 years. While Ian is in the bathroom, he asks Susan out on a date. Crazy hijinks's ensue and Susan whips around in shock, spilling her smoothie all over his comatosed wife. Haha. That was great. Classic. She quickly covers her up before Ian comes back in and tells the nurse to clean her up as they leave. She then goes to Mike and tells him that Ian asked her out and she wants to go, but if he doesn't want her to, to wake up and tell her not to. Of course he doesn't wake up, but it's a touching moment to see how much she really wants him to wake up.



I've never wanted to hit another fictitious character as much as I want to beat Nora. Kayla, Tom's daughter is adorable and how she's not fraked up already because of her crazy mother I don't know. The Scavos are taking a Christmas card picture and Nora insists she be in it. This woman seriously needs to get on some meds. When Lynette tells her it's a family photo and she can't be in it, she tells Kayla that they're not welcomed in the family picture. Of course Kayla's welcome. Finally they say she can be in it and right before the timer goes off, she jumps into the boys laps and takes a stupid zaney picture. I don't know why they couldn't retake the picture. Lynette eventually figures out that Tom's more afraid of Nora then he is of her. I really want to feel sorry for Tom, but I don't. He needs to man up.

It's one of the boys' birthday parties and Lynette lies to Nora and says it's a quiet day. I don't blame her one bit. Unfortunately Nora calls and hears the kids playing and when Lynette hangs up she knows the bitch is rushing over. She gets all the kids, calls Gabby and leaves her a message that they're all going over into her backyard. The plan seems to be working when Nora shows up and Lynette's alone. It's working until a little boy from the party comes out of the bathroom with a birthday hat and his face painted. Nora runs out into the street and tries to find out where the party is. She sees a balloon coming from Gabby's backyard and hurries over. Lynette stops her and she starts yelling for Kayla. Tom and Kayla both come out and Nora tries to take Kayla away. Tom finally man ups, sorta, after Lynette just walks away out of frustration. Tom doesn't really tell Nora off, but he says that Kayla wants to be there and to not take her. He's still a pus, but I think now he'll be trying.


Finally, the most interesting story, I think, Bree and Orson. Mary Alice tells us about Orson's first wife. Orson's not unlike Bree, he's obsessive compulsive. He made his wife, Alma, stack the food a certain way, fold the towels a certain way, and lint roll him right before he left the house. Eventually she decided it was weird and wanted to leave. As she was leaving the house with her bags, she tripped and the cage holding her pet parakeet fell open and it flew away. As she was trying to get it Orson came back into the house because there was a piece of lint on his suit that she missed. He had driven all the way back from down the street. He could have plucked it off and thrown it out the window, but no, he went all the way back. When he caught her on the ground and figured out what she was doing, he closed the door behind him. When their nosy neighbor, played by Jackie from Rosanne (love her!) came over looking for Alma, Orson had some gloves on and was cleaning the floor. To cast more suspicious on him the bird was saying "Orson! No!". He told Jackie that Alma left him and he didn't know where she was, but you could tell she thought he looked guilty. And because Alma didn't take the bird, makes me think he may have killed her.



Flash to the Orson/Bree courtship. Eventually he asks her to marry him. She thinks it's too soon, but he says it's been the best six months and he loves her. She agrees to marry him and tells the girls about it. They're excited, until they learn Bree and Orson haven't done the deed. She says they want to get married before, and of course slutty Gabby thinks that's a load of crap. But Bree wants to stand firm and the girls support her. Later, Orson tries to get frisky but she won't allow it. That's until he's washing the dishes and washes them a second time with some sort of treatment to get the streaks off. As crazy as this sounds, this is the kinda thing that turns Bree on. She and Orson head upstairs. Where the hell is Danielle? I just realized she's nowhere to be found and they don't talk about her. Anyway, as they're about to do it, Orson wants to, uh, how do I say it? Please Bree orally. Yeah. Hey, he is a dentist. Har har. She doesn't want to do it because she's a Republican. Instead she wants to be raped by taxes. He insists and she lets him do it, and she, ah, how do I say this, enjoys it a WHOLE lot. She immediately runs out to the doctor's because she's never experienced this. The astute doctor soon realizes that Bree had an orgasm, something she'd never experienced before. Poor girl.

Bree throws a party that weekend because she finally found the big O. No, to announce their engagement. Unfortunately Jackie crashes it. She comes in and in front of everyone, asks Bree if Orson told her he killed his wife. Bree said yes, but he gave me my first orgasm so I don't care. At least that's what I would have said. But this is news to Bree, and all of their guests. Jackie warns Bree that if he could kill Alma, he could kill her. Good point. Jackie leaves and Bree goes into the kitchen. The girls try to follow but Orson goes in instead. He wants to make sure Bree believes him, that he didn't kill his wife. Bree smiles that "I have constipation smile" and says she believes him, which is not very convincing. He lets go of her hand and he's obviously been holding it tight. She continues the party but we know she's having doubts as later when she takes the trash out in pouring down rain, she doesn't even flinch, and stays out there to get extra wet.

This is a vast improvement from last year. Marc Cherry is now working on the show again, like he did the first season. And thank the holy good Lord for that because the show is finally moving in the right direction.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

NIP/TUCK AGAIN






Okay, so I know I just talked about how this show is losing me, but the last episode totally redeemed it. Wait, not totally redeemed, but enough that I don't want to jump off the roof and light my crotch on fire.

Speaking of crotches, Christian really needs to stop thinking about his. He wants to hook it up with his boss, the married Sanaa, who's name I'm forgetting. Of course, Christian wants to hook up with anything female. The gay thing has been dropped recently, besides some looks Christian gives no one, when Sean's around sometimes. I sorta liked the maybe gaybe thing but then again, he's not gay. I know some people will be destroyed by this notion, and I kinda am too. That would have been hot. I was hoping him and Mario get back into the shower together. Whoa.

His story did get a little anti-Christian. Haha, anti-Christian get, it, er, anyway. So Sanaa came over to his house because really, who wouldn't. She actually thought Sean was going to be there, but silly girl, Christian has a plan. He tries to seduce her, but she's devoted to her husband, Larry Hagman. I'll say that again, she denied Christian for Larry Hagman. Seriously. Anyway, she invited Christian and Sean to a dinner, before Christian's little suggestion, but rescinded it the next day. At some point she comes home to find Christian checking out Larry Hagman's balls. I know that sounds bizarre, but Larry got his balls enlarged by McNamara/Troy and Christian came over to "check on him". Oh, and screw his wife.


See, Jacqueline Bissett is blackmailing Sanaa. A few episodes ago she felt Sanaa up in the parking lot and Liz saw it. She tried to fire Liz but the boys stood up for her. Sanaa gave JB a bunch of stacks of money which I thought was just ridiculous. Fortunately, we don't have to wait too long to figure out what's going on. Sanaa tells Christian, the night he comes to her house, that JB is blackmailing her because she used to be an escort at JB's company. Larry Hagman doesn't know that, and she hopes he doesn't find out. Christian says he won't tell, and makes Sanaa have sex with him for his silence. Now, this is a form a rape to me, and not very Christian like. Haha, again. I mean, I know she must want him in a way, but it's just not right.


Something else not right is Sean. Wait, before we get to his ridiculousness, let's talk about Liz. So Liz is a lesbian, good for her. Unfortunately, since she saw Sanaa and JB hook up, she almost gets fired. After Christian throws himself at Sanaa and he starts flirting with her at the office. Of course Liz is upset because Sanaa's not trying to fire him. She wants what Christian has, balls. With the ladies at least. They got to a lesbian place and Christian's upset, to say the least, that he can't have any of these women. There is one woman staring him down and he goes after her, but she wants Liz. Huh? I mean, good for her. Anyway, she takes Liz home. They must do it because the next thing we know, Liz is waking up with her cell phone taped to her hand. It rings and the chick on the other ends says that her kidney was surgically removed. Really? At least she was nice enough to call. Liz isn't as upset about that as she is about having no one to take care of her. Sean and Christian are there and decide to take her back to McNamara/Troy to recuperate.




Okay, on to Sean. Last time we saw him he was banging the slutty night nurse. Sure, he felt bad about it but he told Christian that he wanted to do it again. What's wrong with him?! It's been awhile since the baby was born, all lobster hands and all. Not only is Sean freaking out about it still, so is Julia. She can't seem to get Conor to attach to her breast. Put some beer and chips on it, that's what I do. Peter Dinklage is their night nurse and he's been painting a mural in the baby's room. He tries to help Julia, puts a warm compress on it. Sean sees this and like anyone who's a cheater, he becomes all jealous and fires Dinklage. Before Dinklage can go though, he tells Sean that he knows he doesn't want Julia on anti-depressants either and gives him some tips. This makes Sean realize he's a tool. Sean, not Dinklage.

Unfortunately he's still a tool because slutty night nurse comes back. She tells Sean that she can't stop thinking about him, she wants to do him again and invites him over. At first Sean's against it, but then he goes home and sees Julia picked up some pills. Because he has issues and blames Julia for everything, he goes to SNN's house. She has some hash brownies (I could totally go for some hashbrowns right now) and Sean starts eating some. I don't think it was weed in there. He starts hallucinating and the tattoo guy comes back!!! I love him!!! He plays "the devil" and that cancer chick who died that he was in love with comes back too as "the angle" and they have a great scene with Sean as they tell him what he should do. Then "the devil" starts doing SNN and then the cancer chick, and then she turns into Julia. He realizes his mistake and tells SNN he doesn't want to be with her. Once home, he finds out that Julia didn't even take the drugs. Dinklage helped her out and made her realize her fears, and blah blah blah. Okay, so your kid has lobster hands, SFW. Really, get over it. He's healthy regardless of that, and his hands are kinda cute.

So I'm not totally all in, some of the stories are still a bit stupid. Stolen kidney? Come on. But the fact that the Sanaa thing didn't drag out, and that Sean came to his senses, for real, with SNN, makes me feel better about it. I'll keep watching, if nothing else then to see Christian's ass again. Yowza!

I LOVE KENTUCKY


Is it wrong that I miss the camel toe?

So this past week's upside of The Amazing Race was just as good as the premiere. The teams are starting to show some personality, and can I tell you how much I love the Kentucky team? Bad teeth and all.


The teams start out from the Pit Stop, the druggie best friends, Tyler and James at the front of the pack. Wait, that's not fair, they're clean now. Former druggies. So they say anyway. Let's hope they don't travel to Amsterdam. Although, that'd be awesome, the two of them high, running around the city. Ha, yeah. Say no to drug! Wait, before I go on, can we talk a minute about the way Tyler and James are sorta in love with each other. They're always so close when they do their downloads. Even on the mat they seem closer then usual.


The first five teams end up bunching up though because they find out they're going to Mongolia by bus and then train. The first five teams make it on the first bus that leaves at 12am, and the second group leaves at 2am. That's a pretty big gap, I hope they bunch up again because all the teams I really like, Kentucky, Tom and Terry (yes, I like them now) and Erwin and Godwin are on the second bus. As they're waiting, the teams bond. Mary tells us that she and David have never met an Asian person before, and they had never met gays. Then the music dropped out, Mary smiled her brownie smile and said in her accent, "I like 'em". This is why I love Mary and David.




Luckily when the teams arrive at the train station, the train doesn't leave for awhile, so the teams do bunch up. Yay. Dustin and Candice, the so called "Beauty Queens" decide to sneak off to the side to see if there's another train that runs earlier. Um, I don't see any point to this. You're in the train station, you'd think you could just look at the schedule or something, not be all sneaky and use someone's cell phone. I have to keep reminding myself that they are "Beauty Queens". Tyler and James figure out that the girls are up to no good and follow them. Nothing really happens here, except the girls being busted because like I said, they're ALREADY in the train station. Idiots. Also at the train station, outside, Peter and Sarah are surrounded by some locals who are interested in seeing her leg. Peter says that for money, she'll run around and show them how it works. Of course, she does it and then no one pays up, because really, would you pay to see that? I wouldn't. Plus Sarah didn't work it right, she should have gotten the money up front. That's what any good pimp will tell you anyway.

Once the teams get to Ulaanbaatar, they all rush to cabs. Kellie and Jamie, Tom and Terry and this years obnoxious couple, Rom and Kimberly, end up at the temple first. The show goes on every ten minutes, and when the doors open they rush in. They see some sort of ceremony and at the end they're given their clue which tells them to drive themselves to Terelj and choose horses to ride to their next cluebox. They head out to it.

Unfortunately, Kellie and Jamie, the cheerleaders, don't seem too good with direction and get lost on their way to Terelj. The next set of teams, which include Mary and David, decide to ask for directions after leaving the temple. Mary and David even go as far as to get a guy to get in the car with them to direct them. The bad news is that he directed the group off the road and into mud. They wasted time trying to get out and waiting for a replacement car and went from third to nearly last.






The road to Telelj was paved with problems, or good intentions, depending on if you're an optimist or a pessimist. Cheerleaders Kellie and Jamie had problems even getting out of the city, going down side streets, not navigating very well at all. Tyler and James ended up popping a tire. Rob and Kimberly stopped momentarily to check on the boys, and offer their jack since the guys' jack wasn't working, but theirs wasn't removable and they had to leave the guys on the side of the road. Lyn and Karlyn drove by and the guys begged them to stop and they didn't. It was sorta messed up, since it would have taken just a moment to see if they were alright and eventually give them a jack. They didn't know what the problem was, and continued on. Don't feel sorry for the guys though, some local guy ended up helping and they were right back in the race. Kellie and Jamie had more problems when their car stalled and they couldn't figure how to turn it back on. Um... Give me a "K". K! Give me an "E". E! Give me a "Y". Y! What's that spell? Turn the key and push the clutch you dumbass!




Nearly at the horses, Sarah switched her leg out to the foot instead of the metal thingy. Good thing too, these horses were feisty. She was able to get on, but one of the beauty queens wasn't and went flying off, with the horse even pulling her a bit. These horses were a**holes. I don't even know if they're even horses, they were about three feet off the ground. One of them knocked Kimberly off it's back where she fell on her ass. Ha-ha! I would have done the same thing, but it was mean.





As the teams arrived to the next clue, they learned it was a Roadblock. In this Roadblock they could "Fill It Up" or "Take It Down". In fill it up they had to take metal canisters to the river and fill them up, and then come back and fill up some sort of receptacle. The only catch was that they had to lead some sort of ox animal down to the river. In Take It Down, they had to take down a hut type thing and tie some knots, and replicate the demonstration. I thought at first this would be the easier one, but as Sarah and Peter tried it, I realize how difficult it was, because they had to be precise with the knots. Sarah started to get frustrated and Peter started acting real condescending and told her to calm down, and to not talk.


The beauty queens then showed up and started doing the Fill It Up task. Once down at the water one of them used her shoe to fill it up. Um, this is bad because of two reasons. One, you have to put the wet shoe back on, and that can't be fun. Plus, the people might be trying to drink this water later, and it's gonna taste like feet. A whole bunch of other teams showed up now, most of them choosing to do Fill It UP.

Eventually, Sarah and Peter got fed up with the Take It Down task and they switched to Fill It Up. Unfortunately, the ox like creature kept running away from them (which was sorta funny) and Peter was doing that projection thing, telling Sarah to calm down when he really needed to. She told us in her download that she's been observing the way he's acting and not sure if she likes it. Not sure?! Girl, don't put up with that. Kick him with your good leg! The ox like creature is so bad they go to the Take It Down again.







The beauty queens finish everything and get their next clue which tells them to drive 47 miles to Hotel Mongolia. They start to leave and one of them realizes her hat's missing. I guess this fury hat is essential for riding one of those little horses and they go in search of it, as other teams finish up and start leaving. Peter and Sarah finish the task up quickly and head off to the hotel.




Rob and Kimberly have the worst time it seems, communicating at least. Rob's in the back of the cart with the water and Kim's pulling it. It's not exactly the inside of the Bentley back there and it hurts to be sitting there. She's trying to control the animal but can't really. He starts yelling at her and she yells at him and she starts crying, because most women can't express themselves any way but crying. Lyn and Karlyn and David and Mary are finishing up the water about the same time. David offers a bucket of water to Lyn and Karlyn, again reminding me how much I love these two. David and Mary and Tyler and James race to their cars on the horses. Erwin and Godwin also finish up. They've lost their hat too and try to find it, but they make quick time and get it. On their way to the hotel their car breaks down. Who ordered these shoddy ass cars? Some guy on the side of the road stops and helps them get back in it. Tom and Terry are off too.

The cheerleaders finally make it there after all their car trouble and direction problems and see the beauty queens just standing around. They think they're just hanging out, because really, that makes the most sense. Eventually one of the nomads finds the girl's hat and they run off. Just about everyone's on the road and although Duke and Lauren start out in second place, they get lapped by a few teams, causing Lauren to get a bit bent out of shape with her dad.



Lyn and Karlyn and the cheerleaders finish up around the same time, but then both their cars won't start. There's enough people around that the cheerleaders convince a guy to come over and help. He ends up cranking the car (go figure) and it starts. Lyn or Karlyn sees this and starts cranking their car. Eventually a guy comes up and helps them as well. They're at least a few minutes behind the cheerleaders.

Peter and Sarah arrive at the Mongolian hotel first. They make it to the box and it's a Roadblock. In this Roadblock one team member has to participate in an agent Mongolian training exercise, archery. They have to shoot a flaming arrow 160 feet into a target on the ground, lighting it up. Once they do that they can run to the Pit Stop. Peter decides to do it and the druggies, eh, former druggies, sorta gay guys show up. Peter hits the target the second time and they race to Phil who tells them they're in first and they've won a vacation.


Tyler and James are a bit frustrated at first, but eventually finish in second. Lauren and Duke get there and since Lauren's a lesbian she thinks she can do this, which she eventually does. Tom and Terry get fourth place.



So the real race is between Lyn and Karlyn and the cheerleaders, who left around the same time. The cheerleaders think they may have gone the wrong way out of the field, and stop to ask a local for help. They tell them to go the other way, and Lyn and Karlyn pass them going the other direction. So now whoever ends up at the Roadblock first is definitely going to still be in it, unless the girls figure out real fast they're going the wrong way and Lyn and Karlyn can't hit the target.

A bunch of teams get to the hotel together, Rob and Kim, Erwin and Goodwin, Mary and David and the beauty queens. The beauty queens finish first, followed by Rob and Kim. Mary and David finish up even though David was having issues with it and saying Mary should have done it. As they're hurrying to the Pit Stop Mary twists her ankles. She guts it out and they get there in 8th place. Erwin and Godwin eventually finish up and now it's down to the two sets of ladies.

The cheerleaders finally realizes they've gone the wrong way and turn around. Tensions are high when we know a team's arrived but fancy editing doesn't allow us to see who it is. We do though, and it's Karlyn and Lyn. They finish and Phil tells them they're in 9th place. The cheerleaders eventually show up and try and try and try to do the task, but can't. Knowing they're in last place they just give up. Phil tells them they've been eliminated and I don't really care.

I'M ALL IN, DAMNIT!



I hate myself for liking Dancing With the Stars. I don't know why, but this show just fascinates me. On Tuesday night's show the judges were so mean to Mario Lopez. Now, after having his marriage annulled after two weeks because he was cheating on his new wife, for me to even utter the words about me liking him is a big thing.


The judges were so harsh on him. He and his partner did an outstanding job dancing the Tango, one of the most entertaining dances. Afterwards, the judges ripped them a new one. Apparently they "broke the hold" in the dancing. I guess you can be apart at the beginning and end, but once you start holding on to one another, you can't break it. This was so severe a rule breaking that both the girl judge and the gay judge gave them 8s and said they could have been 10s. Boo! I'm sorry, they had the most entertaining performance and isn't this a TV show and not really a dance contest?!? Stupid.

Since Shanna got kicked off last week we didn't have to worry about having to wipe up the herpes from the dance floor. Speaking of Jerry Springer, he was so sweet. He said he wanted to make it to at least next week to learn the Waltz so he could dance with his daughter at her wedding. Ok, I'm totally voting for him. I'm a sucker for that kinda thing.


Surprisingly Sarah did really well. She came out of her shell, straightened her hair and put on some cowboy boots and let the ladies out, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately I fear that without the boots she'll be drab v-neck sweater Sarah again. Monique was fabulous and although she did well, Vivica looked kinda drag. I mean good for her for working the masculinity.




Willa and Maksim are sleeping together. It's so obvious. And trust me on these things, I know what it looks like when two people are having an affair. The judges even told them to stop working on their chemistry and work more on their dancing. Damn, these guys must have their period or something. And Willa also tells us that she hopes her bad girl image doesn't keep people from voting for her. Um, babe, you don't have an image. Who the hell are you? Wait, I'm gonna look her up... Ah, ok, I think I get it now. So she had this one song, "I Wanna Be Bad" and she dated Backstreet Boys' Nick Carter. All of those little girls got all mad at her and started anti-Willa websites and there was a major backlash. Interesting. I feel sorry for her. Mostly because she dated Nick Carter, but also because her career was brought down by 14 and 15 year olds. That sucks. Okay, I'm totally on Team Willa now. You go girl, Maks is HOT!

Joey Lawrence. Wow. So we know the bald thing doesn't work, but I feel he's committed to it, so there's nothing he can do about it now. He's sorta creepy looking and a bit weird, but I can tell he's sincere. Yes, as crazy baldy as he is, he really gets into it and does a pretty good job. He's sweet and over the top and wears weird outfits during rehearsal, oh, and he probably manscapes way too much, but something about him is genuine, and he's growing on me. Now if we can get his hair growing, it'll be half the battle.



Okay, this isn't from last night, but you get the idea. Now imagine Elton John threw up on them, circa 1978

Last night during eliminations, it took them an hour to tell us who was off. I zoned out for most of it, but was sucked back in when some weird ass band started to perform. Tom said their name was Scissor Sisters or something, but I only saw one female performer. The lead singer sang falsetto, which isn't awful, but it was like The Bee Gees and Fleetwood Mac got together and had some weird 70s love child that turned out to be a strange John Waters movie staring Divine. It was just bizarre.

During the 3 minutes they actually did eliminations, it was down to Jerry and Harry. God help me I was rooting for Jerry. I really wanted him to dance the Waltz. Luckily, Harry and his sagging skin didn't make it. His partner was bawling. Calm down sista, you'll be back next season.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

GREY'S IS BACK!!!


After a whole summer with only so-so shows, it feels good to be watching good TV. One hour and 2 minutes of Grey's. What a good day when it can end with this show. Of course, I fraked it up when I watched Nip/Tuck afterwards, but who cares, I'm still on a Grey's high.

Anyone who isn't caught up on the show, stop reading right now. I'm talking to you Mom.


We pick up right where we left off, just about. The prom's over, Izzy admitted that she was the one who cut the LVAD wire and quit, Meredith and McDreamy have just had a romp in one of the patients rooms and now she has to choose between him and Finn, we learned the Chief's wife knew about his affair with Meredith's mother, Callie just told George she loved him and he couldn't say it back and the worst part, Denny's dead.


Meredith's run out of the hospital, still in her gown, the Chief's sitting at the now empty prom, contemplating life, and Addison's in the trailer staring at some panties. Whu? Uh oh. Looks like last night when Meredith couldn't find them, McDreamy pocketed them. He just wants to be caught. Addison's not stupid, she realizes what, i.e., whose, they are and just stares at them. Ewe, I'm not trying to hold onto another chicks underpants. Especially knowing she just did it to my husband. Oh, and my girl crush is laying on the bathroom floor, still in the prom dress, mourning Denny.



They whole crew's outside, wondering what they should do. I'm thinking at least drag her into her bedroom. Maybe strong Alex can pick her up again. That was hot. They're debating on who should go in and they all turn to Meredith. She wonders why, but it's because she's used to all of this, drama. I mean, her boyfriend didn't get shot or her best friend start crying when she was having sex with him, but she's had some pretty messed up things happen to her, so she's their best candidate.


As Izzie lays on the ground, there's a flashback. Yay!!! I love flashbacks. Flashbacks and Grey's, this is my night! This one is at the reception for the new interns. Izzie's all happy Barbie and this is the first time she and Alex meet. Guess what, he's a pig. He says something sexist, but kinda hot, and she's put off immediately... Aaannndddd scene.

When we come back to reality, George is on the floor with Izzie, trying to comfort her. Izzie's not hearing any of it though. It's a touching moment, and my eyes get a bit misty.

At the hospital, some guy from the funeral home is there to pick up Denny's body. For doing this for a living, the guy's a tool. He wants Bailey to identify the body, apparently he's taken the wrong one before. After she identifies it they start to wheel away the body and Bailey stops them, taking a minute to apologize to Denny for you know, letting her interns KILL HIM.



Back at house, Meredith's decided to handle her problems how I handle mind, by eating. Of course, she goes and throws it up afterwards, but hey, I get the idea. She's making sandwiches and Cristina says that when someone dies in the Jewish tradition they sit Shiva, which doesn't involves nasty skinny girl sandwiches. Meredith just starts rambling, and eating (thank God) and Cristina immediately knows something's wrong. Meredith admits that she and McDreamy did the McDeed and Cristina's shocked.



In the trailer, Addison's washed the panties. Yes, she's washed them. I have mixed feeling about this. At first I thought it was sorta psycho, but then I thought it was actually nice, like borrowing someone's sweater, it's just common courtesy to wash it, then again, these are the panties of the women your husband presumably just cheated on you with. Regardless, when she takes them out of the dryer she puts them in her purse. This can't be good.

At the hospital, Derek looks pretty tired. He tells the Chief he's been there all night. I guess not all night, he had to go drop Meredith's panties off sometime. Oh, I just thought of this, maybe he gave Addison his prom clothes to take home since he was staying at the hospital. If that's the case, and he knew the undies were in there, then he is a complete dummy. A hot dummy, but a dummy no less. The Chief tells him to go home, but before he can do that, Bailey says there's a head trauma coming in and they'll need the best brain surgeon in town. Personally, I'd prefer the second best, and the one who's had a full night's sleep, but that's just me.


The head trauma lady shows up. Her husband tells the doctors that they were both on their way to the doctor because they have the flu. She was feeling better so she drove, unfortunately they got into an accident and the poor lady's head is all messed up, enter Derek. They do an assessment and soon realize the husband's coughing up a lung and needs to go outside.

Speaking of outside, it's a mess. People are sick with the flu. Olivia, the syph nurse, brings a baby in that someone found at a high school, in a garbage can. Alex soon realizes something everyone who brought in the baby should have, everyone's sick, real sick, so he picks the baby up and carries him out. Olivia doesn't like this, since it's protocol to not take anyone out of the ER with proper paperwork. It's probably against protocol to give people syphilis, but that didn't stop her. Alex gets the baby to Addison and they figure out the baby has some sort of blood disease. Addison's panties, the ones she's wearing anyway, get into a bunch because she doesn't know why, with all the laws in place, people still dump the babies into trash cans. They could just cheat on them with their best friends. She says they have to find out who the mother is fast, so they can do something technical with the blood, I forget.

Derek's working on the lady's brain, as George assists. He wonders how Izzie is, although he really wants to know how Meredith is. George says Izzie's still on the floor in her prom dress, but other then that she's fine. Derek, who must not have been watching last last season, says that it's always hard to lose a patient. George points out that he wasn't just a patient, that Izzie was in love with him. Yikes. Derek probably feels like a bastard right now. I hope it doesn't distract him from the BRAIN he's OPERATING on.



At the house, Cristina's still questioning Meredith on what's going on with her and McDreamy, you know, if he's finally going to leave his wife. Flashback time! Meredith remembers being a young girl and on the merry-go-round. Do you guys remember that store, Merry-Go-Round. It was like Forever 21 when I was in high school. Ah, Owings Mills Mall, I miss you. Anyway, little Meredith's having a great time. Unfortunately, her mother isn't. She uses this special time with her daughter to meet with her chocolate lova. She and the Chief are arguing. He's not leaving his wife for her. As she goes around the merry-go-round, Meredith sees her mother crying, and upset, as Richard leaves her. Damn.


"I'm angry again!"

Since we're talking about the chocolate lova, Adele has to book an appointment with him because he's so busy. Wasn't she just with him last night at the prom? Anyway, she looks pissed, then again, she always looks pissed. Before she can get into it, Bailey comes in and says the lady George and Derek just worked on, well, turns out she has the Bubonic Plague. Huh? What year are we in? 1595. I don't even know when the Bubonic Plague was, but I surely didn't think it was in this day and age. If there's ever an excuse to walk out of the room when your wife is talking, this is probably it, although Adele's pissed again.


So they've found four girls from the high school who I guess were around the bathroom at the time someone found the baby, or they found the baby, it's not too clear. They look to be no more then fourteen and their parents can't fathom how one of them was pregnant and they didn't know about it. Addy says she doesn't need their permission to do an exam, that the girls have to submit to it themselves, but none of them want to do that. I would think all you'd have to do is make them run down the hall, the one who passes out from the pain first, is probably the mommy.



George and Derek are in the locker room when a guy in a HazMat suit stops them from leaving. Since the head trauma lady has THE BUBONIC PLAGUE, and the guys worked on her, they have to be quarantined. Basically they're locked in the locker room. The head trauma's husband is also locked in a room. I don't know how great it is to lock a really sick guy in a room by himself. At least transport Derek and George over there. Anyway, rightfully so, the guy, played by the magnificent Steve Harris, is freaking out. Bailey comes by and tries to sooth him. He wants her to stay outside of the door and talk to him, which she does.

Callie stops by with a few bags of food. Meredith wonders if this is for that Shiva thing Cristina talked about. It is. As she comes in she tells Mere that she won't say anything about what she saw the night before, you know, McDreamy and her doing the McNasty. Meredith's relieved, although I have a feeling that before this day is over everyone will know anyway.



Cristina's decided to lay with Izzie next. She talks about Shiva, and what that entails. Izzie's a bit responsive, but then she says that they've taken Denny's body away, and how would she feel if someone took Burke's body away. She's got a point. This shuts Cristina up.



Alex and Addison are still trying to get the girls to consent to a vaginal examine. I guess they didn't like my idea. Speaking of vaginal exams, it's time for Addy to have a flashback. It must be the moment Derek finds out she's been cheating on him. It's raining outside, they're in their brownstone and she's just in a t-shirt as he takes her clothes and throws them out the door. Nice. He's disgusted by her and she tries to apologize and say she doesn't know how it happened, blah blah blah. She wants to try and work it out but he can't even look at her. He throws her out in the rain too and she pounds on the door. Because he really is a nice guy, he lets her in and says he's leaving, and he'll have his stuff out by the morning. She's crying, and I really want to not feel sorry for her, but I do. I mean, how many people can resist McSteamy, who I'm told is coming back for a few episodes.


Yay, more flashbacks. We're again at the reception. Cristina, ever the intruder, approaches Burke who's very into the chick he's sitting with. He tries to be polite as Cristina gushes, but finally, he tells her to stop, and goes back to looking hot. Across the room, George's demise begins. He tries to talk to Meredith and she pretty much ignores him. That my friends, was sign #1. There are about 120831074926349723 more throughout the seasons until the fateful crying incident.

Addy's finally gone to the Chief about the garbage baby. Oh, that reminds me, do you remember Garbage Pale Kids? I loved them! Anyway, she thinks one way they could do it is by taking a blood type test. Why is this less invasive then a vaginal examine? Wait, that didn't come out right. How is this okay but an examine not? The Chief thinks this is a good idea.

Callie and Meredith are sorta bonding, when Finn comes in. Meredith gets cold feet and runs out of the room to check on Izzie, who's still on the floor. Callie and Finn have a heart to heart. She basically tells him not to worry, that all interns are socially retarded. Seeing they've had their heads in a book for the last ten years and didn't grow up normal. Finn seems to accept this odd excuse.


Meredith uses Finn as an excuse to go check on her near catatonic best friend. Izzie says that she feels like everything is moving in slow motion and that she feels everyone is waiting for her to freak out and start bawling like a baby. I don't know what would have given them that impression? She just doesn't know what happened. She should read my recaps.

Before our next flashback, George and Derek are still locked in the locker room, raiding the unlocked lockers. How many times can I get the word "lock" in a sentence? Awe, that reminds me of John Locke. I hope he's okay. They find food and start eating it as Derek, I assume, has a flashback of the first time he met Meredith, in Joe's bar. It's a cute little exchange, nothing to write home about. They're doing shots, flirting, everything we imagined it'd be. George is now in mini-freak out mode. Derek's cool as a cucumber but really, did we expect anything less? George is freaking out because he thinks he has the plague because he's sweating, but that's only because he's pacing. He then tells Derek about Callie saying she loved him and him not saying anything. He now wishes he would have said it, although he admits that he isn't in love with her yet, but feels like he would be soon. Derek tells him to not let anything stand in his way and to say it before it's too late.



Bailey finds Steve Harris in his room. She tells him through the door that unfortunately, the plague and his wife don't go well together, and she died. Uh oh. Steve's not doing well here. She tries to break in, but the HazMat guy won't let her in. Now, I love Bailey, you know I do, but she does not do it for me in this episode, and definitely not in this scene. I don't know, maybe the actress was pissed they did her hair like that or something because she doesn't do a great job. She tries to comfort Steve, to the best of her ability anyway.



At Meredith's Finn and Callie have bonded over food. Callie realizes this isn't going to be pretty and walks out when Meredith comes in. Finn tells Meredith that he doesn't know what happened the night before with her and Derek, but he never said they were exclusive, so he can't blame her, although he's mad. Wow, he's such the girl in this relationship. He wants her to know though that his hat is still in the ring, if there's a ring and it's 1924. He also tells her that Derek's no good for her, and that he's great for her. Then he calls her "Blondie" and tells her to watch her caboos.

"I'm again, still"

Adele is still roaming the hallways, pissed. Um, if I knew the BUBONIC PLAUGE was in the building, I would not be hanging out. But she is. She tells the Chief that she's been second fiddle, back burner, all the cliches, to his career for too long, and she's tired of it. She wants him to retire. I'm sorry, Adele pisses me off. You've been married to him for 30 years! Is this news to you that he's always picked his job over you? He picked you over what could have been the love of his life, doesn't that say anything? Probably not.



So, Addy's plan to blood type match the girls worked. It eliminated two of the girls, leaving only the other two as possible mothers. She takes them to look at the sick baby, hoping this will strike a cord, because dumping it in a trash can sure didn't. Finally, one of them admits to it being hers. Addy hugs her and thanks her for telling the truth. Then she calls her a dirty whore. Oh wait, that was me.

George and Derek are finally told there's no more plague and immediately rush to Meredith's. Callie greets George at the door and tells him how much she loves him and how scared she was. He still can't bring himself to say he loves her too. What was all that talk about, huh?



Luckily Finn's gone and Derek finds Meredith. He tells her that since they hooked it up the night before, she now has a choice to make, him or Finn. How about he divorces his wife first, then she can make the decision. He finally tells her that he's in love with her, and that he made the wrong choice. FINALLY! He wants to be with her and tells her to take her time and make the decision. Hopefully she won't choose wrong like he did.


A bunch of stuff happens at the hospital. Adele finds the Chief again and tells him to decide, her or his job. He says he needs time to think but she tells him to tell her that night. He says he can't, that he needs more time. She says she doesn't have anymore time to give and walks away. We then see that Addison has pinned Meredith's clean undies on the bulletin board under "Lost and Found". Ouch. Hahaha. Yay, we finally see Burke. Cristina comes to visit him and snuggles in bed with him. Cause really, who wouldn't? Suddenly she breaks down and starts crying, something we've, thankfully, never seen her do. He comforts her and she just looks at him and says "Don't die". Awe.



At the house, Izzie has one more minor flashback of the interns party, them all leaving it, and this inspires her to get up. Meredith helps her out of her dress, and it's not lesbian, it's sweet, really it is.

All in all, not the best episode, although really, their best is still better then most. I'm definitely happy that this is the first of at least 22 episodes. Ah.