WILL YOU MARRY ME? NOT YOU... YOU

This is how I wake up every Saturday morning

It's been a few days since I watched the show and I really don't remember what happened. I mean, I do, and I'll remember it well enough to tell you guys about it, but this show really is being forgettable. No more are we (me and my colleagues) talking about it on Monday morning and about how great the writing/stories are. When you start off so spectacular and then just fall off so fast like this, it's worth bringing up. What's going on to make this season just so awful? There's been talk it's because of the writing staff and how the creator, Marc Cherry, isn't writing any of the episodes. Who really knows. At least this week some stories moved forward a bit.

From last week's episode we know that Susan's getting surgery on her "wandering spleen" and needs to get married for the insurance. Karl's agreed to marry her with the understanding that Edie won't find out. He tells Susan that he wants to use his grandmother's ring, the one he gave her for their wedding however many years earlier. Unfortunately Susan doesn't have it. When she found out that Karl was cheating on her she threw it out of the car on the highway. Okay, so I get it that she felt betrayed and hated him, but come on, she could have sold that thing and gotten some money for it. And it was kinda wrong for her to throw his grandmother's ring out of the window. Karl is so angry he makes Susan go out to the highway with a metal detector and find it. How many years has it been since they got a divorce? At least a year, probably more, and it's still there? Dumb. Karl's had a prenup drafted as well for the two of them.

They clean the ring up and Julie takes it over to Karl and Edie's. Susan warns her to make sure she doesn't let Edie see it. I give you two guesses what happens. Edie's yelling at Karl to come help her clean up. He's in bed watching football or figure skating or something. While she's nosing around she finds his briefcase. She does what any woman would do, she looks inside. She finds the ring and the prenup papers and gets all excited. Why she's excited to marry this jerk I don't know.

She's waving to her plastic surgeon

Later, at Susan's house, Dr. Ron has spent the night. I didn't realize he was still around. He wants to move her surgery up a day and she blurts out that she has a wedding to go to on Wednesday. Curious, he questions her about a Wednesday wedding. "Oh, it's the new Saturday" she says. Okay Suz, didn't we learn from the whole Mike experience what not to do to hold onto a man. Lying really isn't her forte anyway. He apparently is a moron too and doesn't question it. They decide to have Valentine's Day dinner and guess who's there? Edie and Karl. She's making a fool of herself because she's thinking, "hey, it's Valentines Day and some poor schlub wants to actually marry my skanky ass". Karl suggests they have the dessert and when she declines he insists, winking at her and telling her "it'll be gooooood". She gets all nervous and excuses herself. She grabs Susan and pulls her into the ladies room. She tells Susan that Karl's about to propose and Susan realizes Edie's mistake. When they leave the bathroom she has a waiter give a note to Karl. Unfortunately, the dumbass gives it to someone else. When the dessert arrives Edie starts digging through it like a madwoman and of course, doesn't find anything. When Susan gets home later she and Karl meet up and she tells him what happened. He says that he'll just have to propose now. Susan's a bit taken aback since she wants to have her cake and eat it too, and then go throw it up. Karl doesn't seem too thrilled to marry Edie, but shakes it off. Later the two marry very anticlimactically.

I just needed a picture of a hot guy

Crazy Zack asks Paul about his real father. He already thinks something's up with Mike since he found out from the blabby Red Cross lady that he and Mike share the same rare blood type. Paul tells him to shut up and slams his head in a door. Mike visits Paul's house and warns him that Noah, Zack's grandfather, wants to see him. At first Paul is pissed that Mike's there, but then in a show of unity they both decide that Paul and Zack should leave, at least until the sick Noah croaks. Mike says some comment about "his boy" and Zack is listening in. Noah tells his Detective Sullivan to do whatever's necessary to get Zack to him after he finds out that it was Paul and Mary Alice that killed his daughter, Dierdre. Felicia listens in and is please because this could mean her sister's killer, Paul, could get hurt.

Don't worry, it's just an eye lash

Meanwhile, Bree is at her favorite Italian restaurant. There's some Pavarotti dude singing some sad ass songs. Bree of course is crying her eyes out and drowning her sorrows in wine. The waiter recognizes her and she admits that she and Rex used to come there before he was killed by the pharmacists, and she got engaged to the guy who eventually killed himself. She orders another bottle of wine and the waiter insists on calling her a cab. Thankfully she agrees. When she gets home she's so drunk she collapses on the lawn. The next morning Mrs. McCluskey finds her and tells Andrew. Being the sweet kind son he is, he turns on the sprinklers. That sure gets her up. She rushes into the house, not too embarrassed. In the kitchen later Danielle and Andrew are asking her about her drinking problem. She claims it's her allergy medicine and that she had a reaction. She pours her medicine down the sink. Let's hope she doesn't have any nuts later. Andrew suggests she just have some more wine, you know, hair of the dog.

I'd be drinkin' too if I had to spend time with those brats

Speaking of nuts, Lynette and Tom call Mrs. McCluskey to watch the devil's spawn she calls her children. Lynette's not comfortable with that, since McCluskey's pretty damn old and her children are little a**holes and would walk up behind her and scare her into a heart attack. Lynette goes over to Bree's and asks her to watch them. Bree, who doesn't want to admit she's hung over, agrees. When the boys start banging on their drum/piano thingy, she does what any rational human being would do, she starts drinking. Unfortunately she passes out. She really needs to learn how to hold her liquor. The boys put Penny into her stroller and head out for a little walk. Bree wakes up and realizes they're gone so she freaks out and runs out after them. Mrs. McCluskey sees her. Lynette and Tom are called at work and rush down to the beauty parlor where the punks were found. I guess they needed a trim.

Thirteen bottles of wine on the wall, thirteen bottles of wine, take one down pass it to Bree, twelve bottles of wine on the wall...

When they get home Bree runs up and apologizes. One of Rosemary's babies tells Lynette that Bree was asleep on the couch but she claims that she was making cookies in the kitchen when they left. One of the kids tries to defend himself but Lynette scolds him and sends him in the house. McCluckey comes up to Lynette later and questions her on letting Bree, the drunk, watch them instead of her. At least she's awake and not inebriated. Lynette's curious about this and goes to Bree who's putting her trash out. She confronts Bree, who of course denies that she has a problem and gets mad at Lynette. After she storms off Lynette goes through her trash and finds dozens of wine bottles. She puts some of them all out on Bree's porch so when she comes out she sees them and finds a note that says, "Still think you have a problem you alcoholic bitch" Okay, so if you think that your trash gets collected once a week, and she has thirteen bottles there. That's more than a bottle a day. Damn, she is an alkie.

Oh look, momma's a bitch too

Over at Gabby's she comes home after a day of shopping. As she's walking into the house she see Carlos through the window with a woman. The woman's dressed in a bathrobe and has a towel on her head. Gabby's pissed and runs into the house. Turns out the slutty woman is her mother, Lucia. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Gabby and Carlos go to the fertility doctor and they tell her that she probably won't be able to have children. When they're talking to Lucia they tell her the news and she volunteers to be a surrogate. Carlos thinks this is a great idea since he wants it to be his seed. Gabby's not having it and Carlos doesn't know why not. Maybe it's because Mamma Gabby is flashing her ta-tas around. Gabby gets fed up with her mother and dumps her at a hotel. When Carlos questions her about it she tearfully tells him about her step-father and implies that he abused her, and that's why she left so man years ago. Carlos encourages her to talk to her mother about it, but Gabby doesn't want to. We find out why when Carlos goes to see Lucia at the hotel. She tells Carlos that Gabby was asking for it, that she was always jealous of her mother. Carlos of course is flabbergasted, since Gabby was only fifteen. We realize her mother is a nasty bitch and I feel really sorry for Gabby. When Carlos gets back to the house he tells Gabby that it's okay if they adopt, that blood doesn't mean anything. I really like the way Carlos and Gabby's storyline is heading, but even though there're touching moments every other episode or so, by next episode she'll probably be getting on my nerves again.

VERIZON'S A BUNCH OF MOTHERF*****S

Okay, so I know that's harsh, but they really deserve it. And I also know that this is solely an entertainment TV, sometimes movie, blog but it's my damn blog so I'll talk about whatever I want. And today I want to talk about the patronizing, deaf bastards at Verizon. Hopefully this will help convince someone to either not buy a Verizon cell phone plan or beat up the next Verizon representative they see.

I woke up yesterday morning phoneless. Every time I tried to turn my phone on it would immediately turn off. I opened the back and checked the battery, even though I had no idea what I was looking for. Everything looked fine. I mean, I gueses it did. Nothing was seeping out or gooey or anything like that. Luckily I'm not one of those people who live by their phone and one day without having it wasn't too bad. Last night I took it to the store where they told me it was water damaged. How, you may ask, did they know it was water damage? Because there is a small dot on the inside of the phone that turns red. Seeing that the phone hasn't touched any water, I was curious as to how it turned red. The biatch told me that it was because I dropped it in water. I told her that this phone lives in my purse, on my dresser, or in my hand, and that there is no way it was dropped in water...

Her:

I'm sorry, the dot is red, that means there's water damage.

Me:

But I didn't drop it any water.

Her:

The dot is red.

Me:

Take the phone apart and look at it, there is no water damage to this phone.

Her:

But the dot's red.

Me:

So you're telling me that last night, after I went to bed, someone snuck into my room and dropped some water in it?

Her:

I guess so.

Me:

What am I supposed to do then?

Her:

Buy another phone.

Me:

How much is that?

Her:

Well, since you don't have insurance, and water damage voids the warranty, $400.

Me:

But there's no water damage.

Her:

The dot's red.

I almost threw my phone at her, but didn't want to get arrested. I tried yoga breathing, and that helped a little. When I got back to my apartment I decided to call customer service. Surprisingly I wasn't on hold for three hours. I explained to the lady about what happened and she said that it sounds like my phone has water damage.

Her:

Sounds like your phone has water damage.

Me:

Yeah, well, it doesn't.

Her:

The dot's red.

Me:

And the dot's never wrong?

Her:

No.

Me:

Well it's wrong this time because there's no water damage.

Her:

Sounds like the battery has water damager, that's what the red dot means.

Me:

So if the battery is damaged, I can just get another battery.

Her:

You could, but if it's water damage, it could have seeped into the phone.

Me:

Are you even hearing me, it's not water damage.

Her:

But the dot's red.

Me:

What about this morning when I took the battery out? The moisture from my hand could have done it.

Her:

Maybe, but I doubt it. Could have been humidity.

Me:

But I live in California, it's a desert.

And I didn't say, but should have, that I'm also black. What does this have to do with it? Because if I even look at water my hair puffs out like Buckwheat. If there was humidity in my apartment I would know about it.

I don't appreciate being called a liar, and that's what Verizon was doing. So, imagine my surprise when last night I decided to plug my phone in, just on the off chance my battery wasn't charged. Guess what? It worked! The battery wasn't charged and that was the problem. Seems the LCD was on the entire night before because I had my hands free plugged in and it drained the battery. It has nothing to do with water damage. And guess what??? The red dot was wrong, bitch. If I had a d*** this is where I would tell Verizon to suck it. Okay, that wasn't nice. But really, they can kiss my ass.

ONCE YOU GO BLACK...

After a week like last's, with the bomb and all, I was wondering how Grey's would face the next week's pressure to be so good again. Well, they did it. And finally the Neilson audience is seeing what I've seen for awhile now, that this blows that Desperate show out of the water. I'm glad everyone's finally agreeing. What I did find interesting though is there's no mention of the bomb or the poor guy who blew up. Of course there are tons of lines in this show that I just can't wait to post as the "Quote of the Week" but if I posted every one no other shows could get in.

This one starts with a rarely seen thing, Christina having a good time. She's rocking out on her headset in Burke's apartment, brushing her teeth. Burke comes in after what looks like a long, hard, sweaty run (yowza), and when Christina turns around and sees him, she stops dancing. After a minute they start dancing together. Burke obviously studied way too hard in college because his rhythm is way off. Still very cute though. While they're dancing Christina's cell phone rings. Burke answers it and I'm fairly sure it's going to be someone who doesn't know they're together. Then I wonder who that could be since they're "out" at work. He hangs up and tells Christina that it was her landlord calling to tell her that her apartment got flooded. Uh oh, he didn't know she still had an apartment. Quite frankly, I forgot about it too.

At the nursing home Meredith is visiting her mom. I know she has Alzheimer’s but I didn't know you just blurt stuff out. She tells Meredith that she was going at it all night in the on call room. Whoa. Not something you wanna hear Mom say. I'm hoping she wasn't talking about the night before with Great Uncle Sal in the broom closet. We know Ellis thinks it's about twenty or so years earlier, so I'm wondering if she's gonna blurt out to Meredith that it was the Chief she was in there with. Meredith is a bit embarrassed about her mother's candid comment, and her curiosity peaks when Ellis mentions that it wasn't her husband, Thatch, that she was in there with. She tells Meredith, I guess thinking she's a girlfriend or something, that she thinks Thatch won't leave because he wants her to kick him out. Of course this causes Meredith some grief.

"Don't worry, black men know how to treat a lady"

At the hospital Meredith and Christina are venting to each other. Christina's bitching about Burke finding out about her other apartment and Meredith says one of the funniest lines in the show, "My mommy's a filthy whore." Haha! She's not, she just has jungle fever, Christina can relate. Izzie and Alex talk and she tells him that she doesn't want to hook up with him again. He's giving her "dirty eyes".

"Do you think we can both fit into this locker?"

Their first case during rounds is a lung cancer patient. Burke is doing the surgery and the man knows that there's only a 25% chance of survival. He seems to be in good spirits, considering. Burke and Meredith work on the case after Burke gives Christina an "eat sh** and die" look. In the hallway Dr. Bailey's there with her newborn. He's totally adorable. Izzie does some cutesy talk to him and I almost puke. The baby's daddy is getting out of the hospital soon and everyone is happy about that. Before they can get too sappy Bailey starts barking off some orders. I hope she comes back soon, I love her.

I can't say anything funny about this kid, it would just be wrong. He does have a lot of courage.

The next patient they see is a teenage boy. He has some sort of disease, I think they called it Lionitis, although I'm sure that's not the technical term. If you've ever seen that movie Mask, it's sorta like that. Basically it's tumors on his bones that cause a disfigurement of the face. The poor kid's been having some problems with nausea and headaches and they think it may be due to the tumors growing inward and pushing on the brain. Christina tries not to stare at him but she can't help it. I mean, really, who could? The kid has a great personality and tells her to just imagine that he's a lion, that that sometimes helps. Very sweet kid.

Out in admin a hot guy approaches Meredith. He's played by the sexy Eric Dane who hasn't looked this hot in a long long time. Anyway, he hits on her hard core. McDreamy and Addison both separately seen him and McDreamy don't look too happy. He approaches the man and punches him in the face. Later, the Chief's not too happy about Derek punching this guy out in his hospital. Addison says that this is Mark Sloane, McDreamy's best friend who he found her doing before he left New York. The Chief considers it for a minute and wonders if Derek put his weight behind the punch. He did, so he's happy.

Two words... YUM! MEEE

Meredith is cleaning Mark's wound and he's explaining to her what happened. He tells her that he's heard of her all the way out in New York and she says that his reputation also precedes him. He says that Derek walked in on him and Addison, going at it, both naked and all he did was walk out of the room. On the other hand, Derek just sees him talking to Meredith and belts him one. Maybe it's a delayed reaction. Who am I kidding, he loves Meredith, that's the difference. As Meredith's about to sew him up, he laughs at her and takes the needle and thread. The interns watch as he sutures himself since he's a plastic surgeon. The girls make up a good name for him, McSteamy. Ain't that the truth.

In the cancer patient's room he's setting up a tripod. Meredith walks in and she asks about it. He says that he's making goodbye videos and she's touched. She offers to hold the camera for him. He starts off, talking to the woman he loved in college. Everything seems nice and peachy until he calls her a dirty whore and berates her for the way she treated him and hopes she has ugly kids. Damn. Meredith is surprised.

With the Lionitis guy Mark thinks he'll be able to do plastic surgery and remove the tumors. This causes Derek to get a bit territorial with his patient. He takes a piss on the kid's bed. Then he runs and finds Meredith and takes a piss on her. Actually, he just doesn't want Mark to get the kid's hopes up.

Down in the pit Izzie and George get a woman who was in a car crash. The paramedics bring her in and immediately she starts thrashing and moaning. She has a spontaneous orgasm. Izzie's a bit turned on by this and they ask her how long this has been going on. She says it's been going on for a few months. Addison talks to her with Izzie and George still there. They're both intrigued as to why she would want to stop them. I would think it'd get in the way of normal life. I also wonder why she can't hold back a bit. Why she has to scream and moan for each one. I mean who knows, I guess everyone is different. They must be really good. The woman's father gets there and of course she's embarrassed. They call the orgasms "episodes" and she has one as they're talking.

Over with Meredith, she's still holding the camera for this poor cancer guy. He's still yelling about everyone who did him wrong. Looks like he's made quite a few tapes for people that have pissed him off in his life. Meredith stops rolling and questions him about doing this. He says that for his whole life he never told people how he felt and that he bottled it up. There's a lesson in there I know it. Later Meredith approaches the Chief. She asks him if he knows anything about why her parents split up. He plays dumb and says he doesn't. She believes him.

George and Izzie are talking to Christina and Alex and mention the orgasm lady. They run off to see her. When they get there Addison is examining her. When she notices the group watching she pulls the curtain on them.

In the Chief's office Derek and Mark are arguing about doing the lion boy's surgery. As much as the Chief doesn't like Mark, he thinks it's a good idea to do the surgery.

Later, Mark and Addison meet up. She's pissed he came for her and he tells her that he still loves her. She looks torn, and honestly, who wouldn't be. Mark wants to know if Derek knows that after he left New York, that she stayed with him. Of course he doesn't know that. Mark says that Derek's not in love with her, that he's in love with Meredith. Smart guy this McSteamy.

All the interns meet for lunch and talk about the cases. George compliments Meredith repeatedly about how nice she looks or smells. She just ignores him. I mean seriously, a simple, 'thanks' would be fine, she doesn't say anything. I know she's distracted by McDreamy and McSteamy, and honestly, who wouldn't be, but come on, a quick thank you doesn't take that long. George bitches to Izzie about how he grew his hair out to impress Meredith and that he's frustrated things aren't working out. Izzie confides in him about waking a sleeping beast and basically saying that if you haven't done the nasty for awhile you don't miss it, but once you start, damn. Of course George is a man so he doesn't get that, but hey, I feel ya girl.

Back in the lion boy's room his parents don't want to do the surgery. They think doing two surgeries is too risky. Mark says that he can do the surgery right after Derek finishes his and that way he'll only have to go under once. Lion boy begs his parents to let him do the surgery and even though they see a beautiful boy, he wants others to see it as well. They agree to the surgery.

Meredith and Derek have a conversation later about why he thinks Addison cheated. He admits that he was absent and that's what probably drove her away. She wonders if having kids would have made a difference. Those would have been some cute little red headed babies that's for sure.

In with the orgasm lady, Izzie wonders if it would be so bad to have 7 or 8 orgasms a day. The lady asks her if she ever had that dream where she went to high school naked. Of course, who hasn't? I mean, just because I haven't doesn't mean I'm weird right? Right!? She tells Izzie that she just wants to wake up from the dream. Yeah, I guess that would be odd to be at the bank and all of the sudden break out. You could make it fun though, 'Yes! Yes! I love cashing checks! Yes!'

Burke and Meredith talk a bit and she wonders if she should send out the tapes the cancer man made. He tells her that she should send them, otherwise she's a liar. He asks Meredith if she knew about Christina having the apartment and she says yes. Awkward.

In the surgery with the lion boy things don't go so well. He arrests and as much as Derek tries to save him, they don't. Mark's not even able to do his part of the surgery. When Alex and Christina are cleaning him up they come up with a great plan, to do the reconstruction surgery anyway. They approach Mark about it and he agrees. They do the surgery on him and fix his face. Later, the parents visit the boy and love what's been done.

On a good note, the cancer guy survives. He wonders to Meredith and Burke where his tapes are. She hasn't sent them, not that she wasn't going to. He's happy to see them and she wonders if he wants her to throw them away. He doesn't , he wants her to send them. Okay is this the reason HMOs are so expensive, they have to send out patients' mail?

Dear ol' Dad

George sees Meredith and can tell she's stressed. He asks if she wants to go out and get a drink. Again, she ignores him. I mean, Meredith's not a bitch but damn she's deaf. She admits that she doesn't want to have to make any tapes before she dies. Of course George doesn't get it. She looks something up in the yellow pages (white pages) and goes off. She then arrives at a house and knocks on the door. A man answers and she calls him 'dad'. I'm guessing this is Thatch. She hasn't seen him in over twenty years. She just wants to know why he didn't fight for her mother. Wonders why he didn't try and work things out with her, and just left. She tells him that she knows about the affair. He really doesn't have any answers and wonders if there's anything she needs from him, sincerely concerned. She says no and leaves.

At the hospital Addison and Derek are leaving in the elevator. As if we couldn't predict it, Mark gets on, causing some obvious tension. Derek and Mark argue and Mark wonders how he could forgive Addison and not him. Derek says that he hasn't forgiven her. Ouch. Derek storms out and leave Mark and Addison alone. Mark wants her to admit to him that she still loves him. To prove it he wants her to meet him at Joe's. Where do I know this plot point from? Hmm, I wonder.

Is that milk in the front? Ewe.

Christina is in Burke's bed eating Chinese food. We know she's a slob, so I'm waiting for some food to fall on the bed. Burke comes in and goes off on her. He calls her a slob, tells her she's a pain in the ass, basic things a man tells you when he's in love with you. Then he goes on about how great he is and tells her that even though she sucks, he loves her. She tells him that she just gave her apartment away and he walks out. I think they just made up.

Izzie's with the orgasm lady. They're doing some sort of surgery on her to "cure" her. She's worried she won't ever have "episodes" again. Izzie tells her not to worry, that she'll be able to have orgasms. Speaking of those, we see George and Izzie later and he realizes she's fed the beast. She tells him twice. Man, doctors really have a lot of down time. George complains to Izzie that Meredith doesn't seem to hear him and Izzie tells him to make her. Izzie then goes off with Alex to go for round three.

The Chief is visiting Ellis and tells her that he thinks Meredith knows about them. She thinks it's silly because Meredith is still a little girl. He's worried she's going to find out it was him who was hittin' that.

Meredith, meanwhile is at Joe's drowning her sorrows. Mark comes in and tells her that he's waiting for Addison to walk through the door to declare her love for him. Meredith's been down this road. We then see McDreamy in his trailer and we pan over to the other room where Addison is sitting.

I have to admit, I'm a bit disturbed by this

At the house later George comes to Meredith's room. He starts talking about how much he cares for her, and that he'd never lie to her and basically do all of the horrible things McDreamy and other guys have done to her in the past, and that he just wants to love her. She looks at him for a minute and then takes off his shirt!!! This is what I love about this show. Any regular show would have him pine for years before he even though he had a chance. To take it this way, so quickly is a sign that this show is cutting edge and is willing to take risks, like blowing people up. Luckily, unlike most shows that "Jump the Shark" Grey's has the writing chops to back it up.

BRUCE ALMIGHTY

Ah, yeah

It's barely into the season and I can already tell this is gonna be a fun one. The challenges aren't that creative yet, but we did get to see some same sex wresting in the sand which was nice.

Seriously, look at her ta-tas, they're stuck together, that's not right

Since Melinda was voted out at the last tribal council Casaya come back to camp with the formerly exiled Bruce. Bruce pulls everyone together and helps them filter some water. He uses their shirts to filter it and claims this will do the trick. Yeah, just what I want to drink, water drained through your sweat stains. Sounds yummy. He sorta takes charge and everyone is glad he's there. Everyone except Shane. He was annoyed with Bruce when he hung out with him originally and he's still annoyed with him. It's not really clear why Bruce annoys him besides him being a slight know it all. But in this situation it seems like he does know a lot. He's been out in the wilderness and all of that crap before. Courtney, who definitely looks like she's been in the wilderness, is passive aggressive and says that as much camping as she's done she's never heard of this. Well, when you're camping in an RV it's a little different than survival training. She's a bitch. I mean, Bruce was a backpacking instructor for however many years. Being homeless in Detroit doesn't count as living in the wild dear Courtney.

Over at La Mina they're all hungry because dumbass Sally lost the spear in the water last episode. They're using the fishing line but keep on catching puffer fish. They claim they're poisonous, but according to my sushi chef it's only 1 in 64 pieces that's fatal. Or something like that. Terry's able to catch a tiny little fish which they devour.

Something about this picture I just love

When they get to the reward challenge, Jeff asks Bruce and his Casaya team how they're handling him coming into the fold. Bobby and a few other teammates say that they welcome Bruce because he's really taken the lead and helped them out. Shane of course is rolling his eyes in the background. He's a douche. The challenge is fairly simple, one team member, using a giant sling shot, has to toss a ball to four tribe members who are out on a balance beam in the water. The first team to catch five balls wins. And you can dive into the water to catch the ball, so the challenge of the game lies pretty much in the hands of the tosser. They're playing for camping gear, a tarp, those big canteen things, blankets, pillows, a rope and a lantern. They take turns tossing the ball and each tribe does well. Terry and Shane each give it a good go with the catches. Cirie has a good toss or two but it's La Mina who ends up winning reward. Since Casaya lost they have to send one member to Exile Island. The only catch is La Mina has to choose who to send. After talking about it they say that the other team made the error of telling everyone what an asset Bruce has been. Since they don't want Casaya on their A game for the immunity challenge, they send Bruce off. I feel sorry for Bruce who says that he's spent more time on Exile Island than he has with a tribe. I do think he's the person who can survive the best there though, so I don't feel too sorry for him.

Anyone sitting next to Nick would be at a disadvantage anyway

Casaya goes back to their camp bitching about losing Bruce and thinking La Mina's decision was just wrong. Wrong, but oh so right. When La Mina gets back to the camp they immediately put up their tarp. None to soon because the torrential downpour soon start. Dan gives a shout out to Bruce who he knows is going through hell on the island. Poor Bruce is, trying to cover himself with a wet hat.

Why don't these two crazy kids just get together?

The next day the morale of Casaya is way down. With Bruce gone they don't know what to do with themselves. It may be because Shane is a weirdo and getting on Courtney's last nerve. Cirie thinks it's hilarious since they chose the alliance early on when they didn't even know each other. Hello, wasn't that what I said? Shane says that it sucks because he did promise, on his son's life, to keep the alliance. Again, what did I say?

The smartest woman on the island

Over at La Mina it's getting a bit more, ah, physical. Misty and Sally are still trying to woo Nick and Austin over to their side. They're worried the guys will bond and ally themselves with Dan and Terry out of male togetherness. Misty uses what tool she has at her disposal for getting men to do what she wants, her feminine wiles. She starts giving Nick and Austin back and shoulder rubs. I mean, this girl's no dummy. I'd be giving them rubdowns even if I knew they were on my side. Especially if I knew they were on my side. Terry and Dan watch suspiciously.

Danielle's playing dirty

Onto the immunity challenge. When the tribes meet up again Bruce is brought back to his tribe at which point he drop kicks Shane. Oh wait, I was just hoping he'd do that. Jeff explains to them the rules of the game. Long story short there are five circles, each a little farther out then the one before on the beach. Inside each circle, buried, is a bag. They'll match up pairs from each team to race out to the circles and dig for the bag. Once they get the bag they have to race back to their mat. One part of the person must be touching both the mat and the bag to score. Oh, and the best part, they can wrestle the bag out of the opponents hands or even wrestle them away from it so their teammate can steal it. I was hoping Nick and Aras would get into some mud or jello or something, but no such luck.

This is just scary

They start the challenge and it's merciless. The best is Cirie who they yell to sit on the skinny little white girls. She does grab one and throw her off. Danielle's fake breasts start popping out of her top and I'm hoping Cirie sits on her face. It's fairly evenly matched. Aras, the yoga instructor, pulls out all the stops by using a pressure point in the knee to make Nick drop the bag, allowing him to grab it and run to the mat for a point. At the last circle Ruth Marie is able to get the bag and full sprint to the mat. Unfortunately for her, Bobby is hot on her trail and grabs her the second before she touches it. He's able to pull her the rest of the way with the bag and touch his mat. Casaya wins. La Mina has to vote someone off.

I actually like everyone in La Mina. I think they all work their tales off and I can't immediately see who would be best to kick off. Austin and Nick are obviously the swing votes. If they side with the women, Misty and Sally, they'll kick Ruth Marie off. Poor Ruth Marie is sorta by herself in this, she's not paired with anyone. They mention that she's not doing very well physically lately. It's not like she's not trying, she's just a bit long in the tooth. She looks good for her age though. If Austin and Nick side with Dan and Terry, they'll be sending Misty home. Terry thinks that since she's so smart, being an engineer and all, that she is going to be a threat. Yeah, maybe down the road, but not now.

At tribal council Jeff talks to them about the team unity and I really believe them when they say how much they've grown to care for each other. This is a tight group and it's obvious they don't like being at tribal council. Unfortunately, when it comes time to vote, they vote off the smart athletic girl, Misty. If you remember Misty was the first person on Exile Island and when she got back she hinted she may have the iummunity idol. If this is true then at this point she can use it and save herself. Well, it wasn't true so she leaves. Now it seems that Sally is the odd man out.

TORTURE ME SURPRISED

I think Sayid is one of the most interesting characters on LOST and I was glad to see another episode dedicated to him. He's been through a lot in the short three months they've been there and I'm glad to see an Arab, especially an Iraqi, portrayed with such depth and humanity as Sayid is being written. That said, he's a bad ass torturer.

Does he look familiar? More on this commanding officer later!

The show opens in Iraq as Sayid and a group of Iraqi soldiers burn documents. Suddenly the doors burst open and the great white hope of the American army storms in. They take everyone prisoner and warn the man in the back, who's still shredding papers, that he needs to stop. Why they don't have a translator on hand I don't know. When he doesn't respond they ask the soldiers on the ground who there speaks English. They tell them to warn the man that they'll kill him if he doesn't stop. Finally, Sayid tells the man to stop shredding the papers. The officer realizes Sayid can speak English and asks him where Tariq, their commanding officer is. Sayid says that he ran a few hours before. Once at Abu Ghraib the Americdan commanding officer takes Sayid aside. He tells him that a helicopter went down and they're looking for the pilot. He says it's very important they find him. They know he was taken by Tariq, Sayid's commanding officer. Come to find out, they've captured Tariq after all.

I thought for sure he'd break her neck. No such luck.

On the island Sayid is bathing and Ana-Lucia runs up to him. She asks for Jack but takes Sayid instead to Rousseau who's running around in the woods. Sayid realizes it's her and sends Ana-Lucia away. He approaches Rousseau and she begs him to come with her. He wants to know where but she won't say exactly. He doesn't trust her since last time they saw her she lied and said The Others were coming so she could kidnap Claire's baby. In an act of good faith she hands him her rifle.

"They will let him go if he tells them where the pilot is"

In Iraq the commanding officer has Sayid question Tariq. Tariq's not too forthcoming about where the pilot is. Sayid tries to convince him to tell them. The commanding officer says that they'll let Tariq go if he tells them where the pilot is. They know he's at least seen the guy since they have intel that Tariq questioned him the day before. Tariq thinks Sayid is betraying them because he's helping the Americans. The commanding officers tells Sayid that if he doesn't tell them, someone else will come in to get it out of him. Probably not so pleasantly.

The best part about this is the mandarin oranges in the can

On the beach Sawyer can't sleep because he hears what sounds like a frog of some sort. He asks Jin to help him find it but Jin ignores him. And not just because he doesn't understand English. Sawyer follows the sound into the woods and finds Hurley and a big vat of ranch dressing. He also has some chips, peanut butter and all sorts of food. Hurley doesn't want him to tell he stole food from the group. To keep his secret Sawyer recruits Hurley to help him find the frog.

I tried to think of something funny to say here but nothing's funny about a man in a trap. Almost nothing.

Rousseau finally leads Sayid to a man she's caught in a trap. He's strung up and yelling for help. Rousseau warns him not to believe a word the guy says. He wonders how long the man's been strung up there and he says he's been there over night and that his name is Henry. Sayid cuts the man down and he runs. Rousseau shoots him in the back with an arrow. She's hard core. Sayid's pissed and Rousseau is convinced he's one of The Others. They tie him up and Rousseau warns Sayid that he lies. Sayid takes him off to Jack for help.

He will alway be "Brother Justin" from Carnivale to me

In the flashback Sayid is taken to an American. He wants to talk to him about Tariq. He says he gets that he's loyal and that translating for them isn't going against any principal. The American then shows Sayid a video from a town up North. Apparently Tariq gassed it with Serin gas. A few of Sayid's relatives lived there. The American tells Sayid that they have his personell file and that's how he knew his family lived in the village. He says that all he wants is to find out what happened to the pilot. Sayid says that he'll never talk to them. The American pushes a box forward and says that they'll have to make him.

I thought they had a shower in the hatch? Why does it look like Sayid and Locke don't use it

Sayid brings Henry to Locke. They question him and he says that he was ballooning with his wife and they crashed onto the island. He says that a few weeks before his wife got sick and died. Jack walks in and Sayid downloads him on who he is. Sayid says Rousseau thinks he's an Other. Sayid warns Jack not to untie him. He then gets a far away look in his eye.

Sawyer and Hurley are still looking for the frog. Sawyer's being an ass. He warns Hurley to shut up and Hurley says that he knows he's fat, but that people at least like him. Hurley starts to walk away but then Sawyer catches him, begging him to help find the frog. Of course Hurley's a sweetheart and agrees.

See ya

Jack removes the arrow from Henry's shoulder while Sayid and Locke talk about what to do. Sayid implies that he wants to get Henry into the gun locker for a little questioning. Since Jack knows the combination, Sayid wonders to Locke how long it'll take to change it. Locke tells him only a few minutes. He then asks Sayid if he's angry and looking for someone to punish. He assures Locke that all he wants is the truth and he can't have goody two shoes Jack in his face. Sayid asks Jack if Henry said anything while he was gone. Jack says no. Locke approaches and says that they should move him so no one sees him. Sayid suggests the gun locker and Jack agrees. The three of them carry Henry in and once he's in there, Sayid closes the door behind Jack and Locke. Jack bangs on the door and wonders what Sayid is doing. He says he's doing what needs to be done.

"You need to tell me where the helicopter pilot is."

Back with Tariq, Sayid gets out some "equipment" in front of him. He thinks Sayid is bluffing and won't do it. He says that he's a loyal soldier and the son of a hero, and he won't disgrace his father's memory. Tariq says that he's his commanding officer and demands Sayid take his own life. When he doesn't Tariq spits in his face. This just pisses Sayid off. We then flash to later when Sayid emerges from the room. The American is standing outside. Sayid looks broken. He says that the pilot was executed a few days before, and that he'll take them to his body. He hands the man the torture box and he has blood on his hands.

Jack tries to open the gun locker door and can't. He confronts Locke about changing the combination. Locke says that he's been raising an army and doesn't know why Jack didn't ask him to be in it. He says that if he's raising an army that means they're at war. Locke says that whatever Sayid is doing behind the door is part of that. Jack asks what if he's telling the truth and Locke has a good point, what if he's not.

Hey, it's just a finger

In the gun locker Sayid starts questioning Henry who wants to know what's happening. Sayid tries to trip him up in a lie. Henry says that it's been about four months. Sayid starts shooting off questions to him and he answers them fairly convincingly. Then Sayid starts asking about his wife. Where they met, what her name was, that kinda thing. He then asks how she died and Henry says that she got sick. Henry doesn't know why he has to explain who he is when Sayid doesn't tell him who they are. Sayid tells him about the American's coming to Iraq and that he was a good man before and then after they left he was changed. He says that there was a part of him that was always capable of the bad things. He says that his name is Sayid (something I can't pronounce or spell) and that he's a torturer.

SQUISH

In the jungle Sawyer and Hurley finally find the frog that's been making all that noise. It's about two inches long and is a tiny little thing. The frog tries to jump away and Sawyer catches it. Hurley says it reminds him of the turtle he had when he was ten that his mom said ran away. Hurley wants to take the frog far away and find a Mrs. Tree frog for him. Sawyer has a better idea, he squishes it in his hand. He tells him that with a little ranch it'll taste just like chicken. He's so mean, but damn is he FINE.

Evil!

In the hatch Jack's cleaning up Henry's bloody clothes. He ignores Locke when he comes to apologize. When Jack is washing his hands he realizes his pliers are gone. Sayid asks Henry about the balloon that brought him and his wife there. Henry gives him the basic schematics which sound legit, but I've never flown a hot air balloon, so who knows. Sayid wonders why he would travel in that. He says that he was rich and that was his dream. Sayid questions him about using the term, "was" rich. Henry says that he got rich by mining non-metallic metal. Is that for real? What is non-metalic metal. Then to the good part. Sayid takes the pliers to the man's hand and threatens to cut off his fingers if he doesn't tell him where he buried his wife. He asks how deep, how many shovel fulls, all the details. When Henry says he doesn't remember Sayid breaks down and says that he would remember every detail of burying the woman he loved if it were true. Henry catches on to him losing someone on the island and Sayid says it was an accident, that Ana-Lucia though it was someone who was going to hurt her. Then Sayid flips out and starts kicking Henry's ass.

He's about to beat Sawyer's high score on Donkey Kong

Jack hears this from outside and demands Locke tell him the combination. Locke thinks this has to happen and Jack forces him to tell. You can hear the beep of the counter counting down and it warns that there's only a minute. Jack won't let him go unless he opens the door. Locke wonders if Jack would risk everyone's lives. Jack doesn't think anything would happen anyway. At less then thirty seconds Locke opens the door and runs to push the button. He gets there right as it hits "0". The tiles of the counter go red and flick to what I can make out is some sort of knife looking like thing, a bird, and an upside down walking stick. It's a few tense moments until Locke hits the final key and it resets back to "108:00". We're not too sure if this affected anything. Jack pulls Sayid out of the room. Henry looks at him with one evil ass look.

Hieroglyphics?

Later Jack questions Sayid and wonders what the hell that was about. Sayid tells him he knows Henry is one of them. Jack says that Rousseau also thought Sayid was one of them as well. Locke says that to her he was. That everyone is an Other to her.

"One day, there will be something you need to know."

In Iraq Sayid and the Americans are traveling by caravan. The commanding officer is looking at a picture. He asks Sayid if he has a wife and kids and Sayid says no. The commanding officer looks down at the picture and it's KATE!!! This guy is Kate's dad! The trucks stop and they get Sayid out and the American approaches him. He tells him that the war is over and they're letting him go. The American says that it's good he has new skills. Torturing skills. He says that one day they'll be a time when he needs to know something and this is how he'll get it out of the person. Ain't that the truth. He then hands Sayid about six or seven hundred American dollars and they take off. Next time we see Sayid he's living in a mansion in Bagdad.

Little Kate!

Sayid is on the beach with Charlie, Lord only knows why. Anyway, he tells Charlie about the man in the hatch and beating him. Charlie wants to know why he's telling him. Us too Charlie. Sayid says that Jack wants to know how he knows Henry is one of the Others. He says that he just knows, because Jack and Locke have forgotten. They've forgotten that Charlie was strung up by his neck and that Claire was taken. He says that they're merciless and can take any of them when they choose. He wonders of Charlie's forgotten. I don't think he has either.

BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL

I apologize for the lag in getting this recap out. I went back to the East coast for a few days and am just now catching up. Hopefully I'll get a bunch out today and be all caught up. I love Jack. I'm not sure if I say that enough, but I do. He's handsome, brave, patriotic, and the only negative thing I can say about him is that damn attached earlobe. And if the only bad thing you can say about a man is about his ears, that's a good thing.

When we last left Lynn McGill he was getting his ass kicked by the crackhead his sister is shtuping. He cleans himself up a bit and heads back into CTU. Bill tells him about Rossler's untimely death by secret Russian sniper girl. About this time Erwich calls Rossler's phone. Jack answers it, "Hi, this is Jack Bauer, where's the nerve gas." Okay, so he's not as obvious as that. Erwich assumes it's still Rossler and instructs him to meet his men down the road to give them the chip. They hang up and Curtis gives Jack the chip saying that it's functional, but it has a tracking and listening device inside. Jack tells the group he's going to pretend to be Rossler and meet up with Erwich's men. Since they don't know what he looks like he thinks it'll be safe. At first CTU doesn't like the idea, but they don't really have a choice. Erwich is still a bit weary of trusting the chip man so he tells him man to find another way to detonate the canisters.

Over at camp dumbass, Mike (who's the only one there who isn't) says that they can tell everyone that Cummings killed himself because he was upset over what's been happening today. He also tells Logan that with Cummings dead, there's no one to oust Logan for being the dumbass he is. Logan thinks Martha will have a problem with lying. Seriously, is this bitch really in politics? Evelyn is thinking the same thing I bet. She asks Martha about Cummings' death and Martha blurts it out, saying he was a traitor. Evelyn is thrown for a minute and then tells Martha about Walt's twitchy eye, yelling, "I knew it!".

Curtis is following Jack when he arrives at the rendezvous point and meets up with Rossler's men. Edgar runs the plates of the terrorists car and surprise surprise they've been stolen. Jack plays it cool when he meets the men, acting nervous as he thinks Rossler would have been like. The men show him the money and Jack yells, "I love black people!" (if you didn't see Jerry Maguire then go see it, it's funny) Chloe instructs Jack through his earpiece how to put the chip into the trigger. He does and hands it to the men. One of the men, Polakov, insists that Jack go with them to make sure the chip works. Jack refuses and they punch him and push him into the van. Jack could totally use his ninja skills and get out of there but he has to go along with the plan to make them believe he's Rossler. Audrey wants to stop the mission because if they take Jack to Erwich he'll recognize him from the airport. Good point, now move your mouth. McGill and Bill agree that they should go for it and let this play out. They instruct Curtis not to intercept Jack.

"See ma'am, your husband's an idiot"

At Logan's camp Evelyn comes into Martha's room and is a bit confused. She shows her the press release from Logan saying that Cummings was a patriot. Martha is pissed and it sucks to see crazy pissed. Mike tries to smooth it over and says that nothing good will come from trashing the dead man's name and telling the world what he did. Martha thinks Logan is being selfish by not telling everyone what happened. Seriously, can we put her back on lithium or whatever it is crazy people take? He suggests she be the one to tell Cummings' wife about him being a traitor since she's all about truth and honesty. She thinks it'll be hard, but agrees to do it.

Is it just me or does he look like a midget?

In the van with Jack, he realizes these guys have one of the canisters with them. McGill won't let Curtis intercept them since they are still looking for the 19 other canisters. Chloe tracks them and believes they're headed to a mall. She sends Curtis the mall schematics and he takes position. Polakov insists Jack go into the mall with them and Jack thinks this is a bad idea because there are cameras in the mall. Can't really argue with a gun to your face so Jack goes in. Curtis watches from an elevator flank 2 position. Audrey's still for grabbing the guys and the canister but McGill thinks they should just let them go. He admits that a few hundreds of people dying would suck, but it's worth it if it's saving hundreds of thousands. He has a point but it still kinda sucks. Bill's not as sure about it and calls Logan. Yeah, because he's great in these situations.

The surveillance cameras in the mall show Jack and the men walking through dressed as air conditioning repair men. Jack looks around and of course there are women and children. There's even a birthday party going on. Wow, mom and dad went all out, having the party at the mall. What happened to Chuck E Cheese or even McDonald's. Do they still have them there? Ah, memories. Once Polakov and company go into the guard's station they shoot the poor guy before he can radio anyone to back up their story. They start cutting open the air conditioning duct.

Jack listens through his earpiece as they get Logan on the line to get his expert opinion. They explain what's going on and he starts twiddling his thumbs. The terrorists put the canister in the duct as Logan starts playing eeny meeny miny mo. He also goes to Jamba Juice and orders a 16 ounce Strawberry and Banana shake, with a shot of wheat grass. McGill and Bill tell him that they think letting them release the gas is the best idea and Audrey argues that this is killing many innocent lives. Logan is indecisive and tells them to make the decision without him. They say that he's the only one who can make the decision so he goes with the whole, killing innocent people thing.

Yeah, the AC repair guy look just doesn't work for Jack

McGill tells Jack to go through with the terrorists' plans. They put on gas masks and Bill gives Jack the unlock code for the trigger. Jack's not having it and gives Polakov the wrong code. Of course the canister doesn't work and Jack plays it off like it's not his fault. Polakov calls Erwich and tells him the news. Erwich says that they've figured out another way to make the canister work. They knock Jack out and handcuff him to the guard's table in the next room. CTU is still connected and listens as the terrorists are walked through how to release the gas without the trigger. Jack comes to and hears what's going on in the next room. Meanwhile Audrey's arguing with McGill about releasing the gas when there are children there. He says he doesn't give a crap about children, and they're just a bunch of ankle biters anyway. As they finish up arming the canister the other man comes in to kill Jack. Jack pretends like he's asleep until the man is right on him and kicks the man's feet from under him. He gives him the ol' Thigh Master, breaking his neck with his legs. Polakov runs as Jack shoots at him. Unfortunately the gas is being released. Jack grabs the dead terrorists mask and puts it on. He finds the handcuff keys and unlocks himself.

Jack practically hands this little girl the gun

Jack tells CTU that he stopped the gas but it's already in the air so they should evacuate the mall. He runs out after Polakov, running into a security guard. The guy reacts slow to the news about the gas leak, but then radios someone. As Jack comes out of the back room everyone in the mall is listening to the announcement. Once they see Jack in a gas mask they realize it's not a drill and start hauling ass. It's too late though because people start dropping like flies in the food court. Jack finds the air conditioning system room and turns it off. When he runs back out to find Polakov he sees a little girl on the ground. He takes off his masks and picks her up, running outside with her. He yells for some atropine and has her injected. This helps her and she wakes up. Okay, anyone who's seen The Rock knows that you have to inject that into the heart after exposure to VX nerve gas. Geesh.

Meanwhile Chloe's been tracking Polakov through the trigger he still has. He's broken into a car and driven off. He calls Erwich and tells him about "Rossler" and him trying to kill them. Erwich tells him to come back to the auto shop. Jack and Curtis are both tracking him still in the van, trying to see if he leads them to Erwich. McGill calls daddy Logan and rats Jack out for disobeying orders and not going along with their genius plan to kill people in the mall. Logan's pissed. Mike tries to smooth it over though by telling him of the small amount of casualties and the fact that they still may find the canisters. He also lets him know that Cummings' wife, Suzanne is there.

Martha is with Suzanne who's blubbering about her husband killing himself and wondering what she could have done differently. Logan listens in to the conversation and hears Martha punk out. She tells Suzanne what a patriot Cummings was. When Martha leaves she sees Logan who sticks his tongue out and says "Ha! I told you so!".

Polakov arrives at the auto body shop and it's empty. Erwich calls and tells him that he was followed. He sees Jack and the team approaching from across the street. He tells Polakov that he was followed. He then says, "You know what to do". Polakov agrees and as Jack runs in with Curtis he shoots himself in the head. Jack looks around and realizes that both Erwich and the canisters are gone. Erwich drives away from the scene undetected.

I'M GONNA BLOW YOU UP WITH MY LOVE

I do believe this episode was one of the best hours of television I've seen (almost) ever. The elements for a truly good show were there, a baby being born, a man dying on an operating table, a bomb inside a man's body cavity. I mean what the hell? Who wouldn't love a show like this? Make sure to run out and get the season 1 DVD, it came out on the 14th.

On to the show. We return pretty much exactly where we left off last week. Alex and Izzie are just finishing up doing the deed in the broom closet and Meredith's hand is still in the dumbass' body holding the bomb. Burke goes into McDreamy and asks how it's coming with that whole brain surgery thing. Derek spurts out some medical jargon but I'm completely distracted by his beautiful eyes. Let's thank the Lords of Kobol I'm not a nurse in that O.R., because Bailey's husband would be dead. Anyway, the guy's fraked either way it seems. At best he's gonna have some problems with his speech. That won't be too bad, I mean he is married to Bailey who I'm sure does all of the talking anyway. Derek says he's doesn't want to be the guy who kills Bailey's husband and Burke says he doesn't want to be the guy who kills everybody. Touché.

In the operating room Christina and the bomb squad leader (who I'll call Kyle, since he's played by cutie Kyle Chandler) tell Meredith what a moron she is for sticking her hand in. She asks them to suck it since she's not exactly in the best mood, you know, with the hand around a bomb and having a flack jacket put on her. When Burke comes in he demands Christina leave the O.R.. She refuses, obviously wanting to be there for her friend but Burke tells her this isn't some cool surgery and that he needs her to leave. So cute.

In the doctor's locker room Izzie, George and Alex are talking about the stress they're under and what it's doing to their senses. George sees colors and Alex tells him he should have stayed out of the meds. Alex says his smell is heightening and George excuses himself. Izzie on the other hand says how horny she is and starts giggling. She can't stop the nervous laughter and I bet a swift kick in the crotch would do it. It may not hurt as much as it does for guys, but it's not pleasant. So I've been told.

Christina decides to crash McDreamy's operating party and he asks her to leave. She's fairly adamant at staying and since we know how he is with strong women, he doesn't argue. She doesn't tell him it's Meredith in the room with the bomb since she's afraid of Bailey too and doesn't want to distract him.

Down in the Chief's office he's having a panic attack because someone just made him Chief of Staff, oh no wait, he's Chief of Surgery. Anyway, Addy tells him to calm down and he reminds her of the craziness that is Seattle Grace. Dr. Bailey is still refusing to push the baby out, since she wants her husband to be there for the birth. She looks to be in horrible pain, so I'm hoping she abandons this whole idea. Addy thinks they might have to do an emergency C-section to get the baby and the Chief yells that there aren't any free beds. She tells him she doesn't really care where the damned O.R. is, they can fly them out if need be, but she's gonna need one soon if Bailey doesn't start pushing.

They should start charging an hourly rate in that sex closet

Back in the broom closet Izzie's venting to Alex about the smell in the room. She also tells him that she was a bit jealous of Meredith for sticking her hand in because she really wanted the surgery. For the second time that night they do it in the closet.

George finally confronts Bailey about not pushing the baby out. She asks him for a ride home and he wishes her luck on finding a cab at that time of night. He also tells her that if she doesn't start pushing she's going to lose the baby. She tells him to go frak himself. I don't know why, but she thinks by waiting a day that'll mean her husband will be able to be there. She must not have been fully informed of his condition. I've never had a baby, but something tells me clenching doesn't help keep it in.

Kyle tells the Chief that they're ready to move the bomb out of the dude's body cavity and the Chief informs him of a slight snag in their plan. Unfortunately, they had to bring the bomb in the exact room the oxygen line runs under. Kyle goes to tell Burke and they whisper in the doorway, upsetting Meredith. She does kinda have the right to know what's going on since she's the one who's about to blow up. They tell her about the main oxygen line and that medical school training really pays off because she figures out the whole hospital can blow if the bomb explodes in that room.

The Chief's not looking good these days as he gives Alex and Izzie the download on what's going on. I'm sure it's the sex vibe that's coming off of these two that's making his heart palpitate but he collapses. False alarm though, he's just had an anxiety attack. He starts to get out of bed but Mrs. Webber is there and as we know from past experience, she ain't havin' that.

George finds Addison sitting on her ass doing nothing and wants a bit of advice on how to handle the Bailey situation. He asks about a hundred rapid fire questions and Addy can't take it anymore. She goes off on him calling him a sniveling little sh**, telling him that if he had any balls he would figure this stuff out for himself and reminds him that her husband is feet away from getting blown up. George doesn't know what to say so he gives her the finger and walks away. He goes into the stairwell to cool down where he finds Christina Ricci, cowering in a corner. Having your hand in man's chest, touching a bomb will do that to a girl. She has a cut on her hand and he takes her to get cleaned up. She asks about Meredith and is relieved to know she's still alive. Um, wouldn't you have heard a loud explosion? George reassures her that she's not a coward for running out, just a dumb bitch.

"Careful...careful..."

Up in Bosnia Christina notices something outside of the O.R. she and McDreamy are in. She goes out to see what it was and it's Meredith, the guy on the gurney and the bomb squad, slowly moving down the hall to another room, away from the oxygen line. Kyle's annoyed that Christina's there, but when he realizes she's helping Meredith relax, he lets her stay. He goes over the plan to take the bomb out, making sure it's kept flat, not swinging it over her head, or going for the long pass, things like that. Meredith tells him to shut the frak up, and that she doesn't like bossy men. To distract Meredith, in a good way, Christina tells her that Burke said he loved her the night before. Kyle rolls his eyes, realizing that he needs a job at Seattle Grace because everyone's screwing here. Meredith wonders what Christina said and she said nothing, because she was pretending she was asleep. It didn't matter anyway, because he said it to the "sleeping" Christina and that doesn't count. He also beats the "sleeping" Christina but that doesn't count either. While they're wheeling the gurney down the hall there's a threshold metal thingy which I can't remember what you call it at the moment, but I've included a picture so you know what I'm talking about. The gurney hits that and everyone takes a deep breath, thinking they're gonna die. They don't, and make it into the O.R.

Coach George

Addy's having no luck getting Bailey to push. She's basically balled up in the bed, refusing to push, care, live, all that. Addy's gotten permission from the Chief to do an emergency C-section. Seeing Bailey like this causes George to snap. Addy thinks he should back off but he approaches Bailey and gives her a speech. He tells her that he expected more from her, that she's Dr. Bailey, that she's a "Doer" and although there are lots of things that people can't control, this, she can control. He rubs her head and encourages her in what I think is one of the best scenes so far on Grey's. He physically gets behind her on the bed and coaches her through the delivery. As the baby's being born Bailey tells him to stop looking at her va-jay-jay. Ha, that's a new one.

Christina has returned to McDreamy's O.R. and when he asks about the girl with the bomb, Christina doesn't control it anymore and tells him that the girl is Meredith. He's distracted for a moment until Dr. Bailey's husband flatlines. At this exact moment the baby is being delivered and although it would be completely poetic, I'm hoping the show goes the easy route and doesn't kill him on the day his child is born. McDreamy won't take this man's death lying down and starts pounding on his chest. Suddenly his heart begins again and I continue breathing.

"Show me, sand the floor"

In the operating room with Meredith, Kyle instructs her again about pulling the bomb out and handing it to him. She begins telling both Kyle and Burke her last will and testament about Izzie and George being able to stay in the house. Um, these two guys are just feet away from you, if you blow, they all blow. You better write this down somewhere or something. Kyle tells her that he knows she doesn't like him, but encourages her to think of someone she does like. Of course he fades out and McDreamy fades in, giving her the words she needs to go through with it. She eventually pulls the bomb out and hands it to Kyle. I'm still a bit concerned because the bomb's still close. Kyle walks out and Burke starts operating on the frakin' moron who caused all of this. Meredith follows Kyle after a minute, because she's curious, to thank him for helping her through this, not really sure. As she moves into the hallway and watches him walk down the hall with the bomb, it suddenly EXPLODES!! Cute Kyle gets thrown everywhere, turning into that pink mist stuff, knocking Meredith on her ass and knocking her out.

See that pinkish stuff in the middle? That's Kyle

Unfortunately, after that, no one downstairs seems to care that the bomb squad guy just got blown up. I kinda wonder if they didn't rewrite the scene to have that happen after the show was already filmed. The Chief is out of his hospital room and the admin area is all a buzz because "they're" on their way down. I'm thinking it should have been the people carrying the liquid form of Kyle, but it's Burke and McDreamy. They give each other congratulatory nods and call each other by their first name, which as we know is a big step for Burke. The dumbass bomb guy's wife is concerned about her dumbass husband and Burke gives the credit to him still being alive to Ricci. Nah, it shouldn't go with Meredith who kept her hand in there, or the poor bomb guy who just exploded.

McDreamy is looking around frantically asking where "she" is. The Chief points to Addison who comes running up and hugs her husband. Mrs. Webber sees McDreamy's reaction and tells her husband that this wasn't the "she" he was talking about. Ya think?

George goes to find Meredith and she's with Izzie and Christina. She's in a daze as the two other women help her into the shower to wash Kyle off her face. George's dream from that morning, of the three of them in the shower together, comes partially true, but in reality it's a tender moment between three best friends.

Once everyone gets home Christina lays down next to Burke, who's sleeping and tells him that she loves him. I was hoping he'd be awake, but a bit predictable if he was. Dr. Bailey goes to her husband's room, who's thankfully conscious, and introducers him to their son, William George Bailey Jones. Am I the only one who thinks it's cute she not only named her son after George but after Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life.

At Meredith's, Izzie tells her that she has a visitor. Why he can't walk his ass up to her room I don't know, she almost just got blown up. She goes downstairs and McDreamy is there. He says that he just wanted to make sure she was okay. He starts to leave and she admits that she can't remember the last time they kissed. He starts to leave again and turns back around. He gives her a play by play of what happened the last time the kissed. Something about an old shirt with a hole in the back and the way her hair smelled. I'm really not sure what he said because I melted into the couch. She tells him that the smell he was smelling in her hair was lavender. He smiles and finally leaves. Damn this show is good.