AMERICAN GLADIATORS

Don't tell me you didn't have your own pair of white high tops

Is it wrong that I'm sorta obsessed with this show now? My roommate isn't caught up on Desperate Housewives, so on Sunday night we decided to avoid the ladies of Wisteria Lane and see if Ben Silverman was smoking crack when he decided to greenlight the remake of American Gladiators. I don't know about you guys, but that show brings back a lot of memories for me. Of course, I don't exactly remember them specifically, but I do remember Nitro, and how crazy and fun the show was. Apparently, a lot of people did because it's done great for the network the last two nights it's been on.

Wolf. Sigh.

Typically, to reinvent something from a late 80s, early 90s model, you're going to make it "super" or more high tech, or something. Nope, this is exactly like the first one which, unlike some people, I love. The only thing that may have changed though are the gladiators themselves. These people are giants! The one guy is 6'8'' and 290 pounds. Sweet Jesus. Of course they all have "personas" and so far my favorite is "Wolf". At first I was scared of him, looking like a poor man's Wolverine, but then I realized, he looks like (excuse me while I geek out) Wolverine and Sabertooth from The X-Men had a oddly hot love child. I can't deal. Something about him is sexy and I love it when he howls. Wow, never thought I'd write that in a sentence.

The women look like East German divers (the men's team) with the exception of my new girl crush. Ironically her name is "Crush". She looks like a hot Posh Spice, with meat on her bones and the ability to break any man in half. Plus she has a cute haircut and kills it on the Joust, one of my favorite events.

OMG! Love. Her.

Look, this ain't Survivor or the Amazing Race, or even The Price is Right, but it's fun and the casting, both gladiators and competitors I think is top notch. Check it out on NBC.

MISS AMERICA: REALITY CHECK

Genius! How much do I love this new show? It has such a simple concept, yet I'm intrigued at how it's getting made, mostly from a production standpoint. Basically, the 52 contestants (50 states plus D.C. and Puerto Rico) from the real Miss America pageant live in a house, all together, and get judged on how well they let go of their inner beauty queens. So instead of the stupid wave, huge hair, and buttloads of make up, these girls are being asked to "Tone it down". So much easier said then done. They have challenges throughout, and in the first episode they are told to come casual, since they'll be running around outside. Do you know one hairspray addict starts spraying her head for like 30 seconds, and puts gobs of make up on. Thankfully they call her out on it. Most of these girls are quite plain without the make up, so it's going to be extremely interesting when they start accepting that using half a can of hairspray is not only hurtful to the environment, but a fashion no-no.

But, I have to say, the best part of the show was when they got to dinner and were given topics to discuss at their table. The judges went around to see if the girls were answering from their heart, or if they were answering like a beauty queen. And not that dumb beauty queen from South Carolina. A normal one. They gave the most ridiculous, right winged, Republican answers I've ever heard. A whole TABLE full of them talked about how abstinence was the best policy. Luckily one of them called bullshite and asked if they were all really saying they've never been with a man. This would have been a perfect time for the editor to play the sound of crickets. Haha.

Then the best, truly the best, was when one of the girls, after her virginity was challenged, broke down and talked about how her parents had her when they were young (I think she said 19, the horror!) and she knows how much they struggled. Yeah, they struggled so much they entered their 5 year old into stupid pageants and spent money on dresses for her. Then, the best part, during her sobs, she tells us that she's really happy for them, because they had her, and she turned out so well. So she's saying it IS good to have premarital sex? Crap, if having her as a kid is the result maybe abstinence is the best thing.

Hopefully by the end of the show a little brainwashing will be reversed. You should check it out, it's actually kinda cute, and the lovely Michael Urie from Ugly Betty is the host. And just so you know, he's channelling "Marc", his character, the whole time. Adorable!