The latest episode of The Amazing Race was quite exciting. I went through many emotions in the last five minutes and it had to do with my favorite team, Jason and Lorena. More on that later. Sorry I didn't recap last week, but the lesbian ministers came in last. Do I capitalize "Lesbian"? Anyway, I liked them, but they weren't too concerned with getting eliminated.
Remind me again which one is the girl? I don't even think they know.
We started off this last episode in Amsterdam. I'm lucky me and my race partner, my roommate, weren't on this leg because I don't know if I could continue. You know most stuff there is legal there, right? Anyway, we find out that during the mandatory rest period, old guy Asian dad Ron, got diagnosed with a hernia from over exerting himself in the last leg. Hey, it's hard to ride a bike with a basket on the front. Especially if your daughter's in the basket. The Dutch doctor pushes Ron's intestines back in through his abdominal wall and he's good to go.
Jason and Lorena leave around 4am and find out they're going to a town in West Africa called Ouagadougou. Hot on their heels are Nathan and Jen and the Botox Twins, Shana and Jennifer. I really don't like these two. And can I point out that the ideas and generalizations expressed by CBS does not reflect how Tvgrrrl feels about blonds. Some blonds to note that are completely acceptable...
The three teams learn that there's a flight to Paris and then one flight a day out of Paris to Ouagadougou. So basically, if you miss the flight, you're screwed. While J&C and the BTs go about their business, the, dare I say, smart, Nathan and Jen find out that there's an earlier flight to Paris. They get on the standby list and do make the flight. Now, I don't mean to rain on their parade or anything but don't they understand that everybody's booked for that only flight to Africa with them? I mean yeah, it gives you an extra half an hour in the Paris airport without the other teams, but why get all excited for that? No sooner do I think that then the second flight out of Amsterdam, that everybody made it on, Ron and Christina just barely, gets delayed. Everybody worries that they won't make the next flight and when it lands they start running to it. Fancy editing shows us that Nathan and Jen have already been seated and are excited because they think they're the only ones on this flight. Imagine their surprise when everyone starts arriving. Jen tries her best to be a flight attendant. "Hi, glad you made it." She has just as much sincerity as one as well.
So they all make the flight from Paris to West Africa. Azaria & Hendekea are especially excited because they're from Ethiopia and feel like West Africa is their home. Something tells me they're going to do well on this one. Not that being from Africa is why, but when a team feels comfortable in a place they tend to do well.
When they arrive in Africa they book it by taxi to the train station. The BTs get a cabbie and negotiate a price of 3,000 something. One of them decides to give the guy 5,000 expecting the refund when they get to the train station. Imagine their surprise when the guy only gives them 1,000 back. They try to argue, but the guy doesn't budge and they technically pay as much as everybody else but think they got shafted. Wow, that whole "using your looks to get ahead" thing really paid off there. I can see why.
The cluebox tells them they're going to take a train to BINGO! Haha. BINGO! Anyway, let me grow up. Unfortunately the train doesn't leave until the next day (probably to accomdate anyone who would have missed that only flight) and the teams bunch up again. That night, the teams let loose a little bit. The sisters, Marianna and Julia danced to some African drums with Hendekea. Don, the old grandpa, said to his grandson that he thought Julia was hot. Or something gross like that. Of course this is when the producers told her to ask him to dance. So he started dancing with them and he told us in his download that they're feisty, and hot, and sorta bitchy, but you could learn to live with that. My feelings towards Don are mixed. Mostly with disgust, but there's something about this team I like. I don't know what it is.
The next morning everybody boards the train to BINGO! Most people, including Nathan, who surprises me, reflects on how eye opening it is to be in a different culture and see how other people live. But of course, the BTs have a different view. There are flies around and one comments "these people bring flies". Yeah, well you bring ugly. And they comment on the trash, and the smell. Seriously. If you don't expect to see this type of thing then a) you didn't watch the show to begin with and b) you shouldn't have come. It's a race around the WORLD, not around to different Saks. Bitch.
The teams finally arrive in the middle of nowhere for their Roadblock. In this Roadblock one team member has to milk a camel and then drink the milk down. The thing that's gross about this challenge to me isn't that it's camel milk, it's that it's warm camel milk. Okay, so maybe the camel milk is the gross part. If the camel runs out of milk, then you have to wait for all the other teams to finish before you can switch to a better milk producing camel. I have a few problems, ethically, with this challenge. I'm not really sure what they are, but 8 people standing around milking camels dry just doesn't seem right.
Anyway, the challenge begins and right away Don and Azaria start doing well. I've never milked a cow, much less a camel, but I'm not sure how hard this can be. That's until I realize that the camels are sorta a**holes. For example, Lorena. Poor poor Lorena. Her camel keeps bringing his knee thingy up and hitting her hand, knocking the bowl and the milk out. We found out from Don, TK and Christina mostly that the thing to do was to stay calm and quiet with the camel, and they'd basically just stand there and let you do it. Lorena and Julia did not get that memo. Although, Lorena was taking it the worst, getting so frustrated she started crying. It's actually sorta sweet. Jason is encouraging her, telling her she can do it, while she's double over practically inconsolable. I have to say, I have been that frustrated before, and it's not fun. Of course, I didn't have a million dollars riding on it.
While Lorena was balling up in a corner, the rest of the teams started finishing and moving on, leading four camels down a marked path. TK and Rachel (TK who finished the milking first, and nearly gagged on it) started walking the path. Don and Nick also left around then and just started following TK. TK never said he knew where he was going and as Ron and Christina started, she thought maybe they should look for the marked path. As he normally does, he blew her off, saying they should just follow the other teams. When TK realized he wasn't going the right way, he turned around. Then all the other teams got a little annoyed. But you guys are the idiots who followed them. I'm glad they did though because besides Jason and Lorena, TK and Rachel are my favorite team. Soon Nate and Jen caught up and they all started walking down the marked path.
Back at the Roadblock Azaria, Jennifer, Lorena and Julia were still having trouble with their camels. Lorena was still yelling like a 5 year old and Jason was still being amazingly adorable and supportive. Because all four people have dry camels, they were able to switch. Immediately Azaria fills his bowl up and drinks it down, and he and Azaria race to the next clue box.
The other teams arrive at that cluebox and it's a Detour, Teach It or Learn It. They either have to go to the school and teacher a student 10 English words with pictures, or go to the same school and have a student teach them 10 words in that African language, More. There's supposed to be one of those double dot things over the "o" there, but I don't know how to do that on the computer. Anyway, half of the people choose Teach It and the other half choose the other. Azaria & Hendekea choose Learn It and then attack that thing with the most intelligence. They divide the words in half and then memorize them. They zip through that challenge and find out Phil's close. The grab one of the village boys and he guides them to the mat. Yay, there's Phil and they come in first! They win a trip to The Bahamas! That poor African kid gets some more time in a sweat shop. I hope they give him some money or something. Some clothes maybe.
Storm clouds started to form about now and I'm worried. My Lorena is still milking that damn camel. Julia is still there too. Finally, Julia finds a nice camel and she finishes the task. Lorena is still flipping out as the girls leave, and Julia says to try the camel she was just at and that has a baby at it. Good advice Julia. She follows it and soon she has enough milk to drink. She nearly collapses in Jason's arms and he encourages her. Seriously, where can I get one of those?
By now the storm has passed, but fancy editing shows the other teams finishing their tasks in pouring rain still and going off to find Phil. TK and Rachel and Ron and Christina were first out of the school but I'm starting to think TK has a really bad sense of direction, which is never good on this show. Eventually all the other teams except the BTs, Julia and Marianna and Jason and Lorena make it to the mat, at just about the exact same time.
No no no, the milk lesson was the challenge before
Lorena and Jason don't waste any(more) time and run with their camels. They soon catch up to Julia and Marianna. When the two teams make it to the Detour sign, they both decide to Learn It. Jason tells Lorena that she's good with languages and the editors slow the scene down and do that dramatic beat. This can't be good. Whenever they do that it means trouble. Not my Lorason. I love these too. The BTs finish and head off to hump Phil and request their daily injections.
Those damn editors tells us that it's neck and neck. I'm still thinking about that damn dramatic beat earlier. They seem to be on their last word, each having trouble with it. Who's going to make it out first? The camera is on both doors, panning between them, as we wonder who's going to come out first. I have to give it to the editors on this one. Finally, Jason figures out the last word. YES! The two quickly get up and run out, just as (or so we're led to believe) Marianna and Julia finish their task. Lorena and Jason and running with their packs and luckily go the right way and see Phil. One of the sisters says she sees him too and they drop their packs and start running. Lorena and Jason keep looking back and I'm screaming at the TV for them to drop their packs and just run. But if I've learned anything by now, it's to trust Jason. Jason knows what he's doing. So when they ease onto the mat, I breathe a sigh of relief. And just for the record, Phil has time to ask them about the whole milk debacle and they can get off the mat before Julia and Marianna even make it. I think they were at least 10 minutes back. How ya feelin' now about that whole milk suggestion Julia? So sad to see Julia and Marianna go, as I know Don will be. Well, maybe not for the same reason, but good Lords of Kobol was I happy my Lorason is still in it.
