GIVE ME LIBERTY, OR GIVE ME A CAR

Wow, this Survivor game, looks exciting

If you ever wanted to see someone lose themselves a million bucks, you watched it last night. Idiot! Find out later who the dumbass was. Speaking of dumbasses, besides Susan on Desperate Housewives, there isn't someone on a show right now that I want to slap more than Stephanie. I know she has her fans, I used to be one of them. Not anymore. As soon as she gets a little power she starts acting like a whinny bitch, especially when she doesn't win something. Ick.

So last night's episode started out after tribal council. Cindy was a bit upset that she wasn't in on the whole voting off Judd thing. She astutely observed that when Jamie was voted off Judd didn't know. And then when Judd got voted off she didn't know. If the pattern holds she would be the next voted off. Stephanie tries to reassure her that anyone can be voted off, "Don't worry, it can be any of us. Blah blah blah, I'm a dirty whore."

This is what adults do for fun!

The next morning all five survivors are making corn and hanging out. Rafe admits that he's like one of the girls, and now that Judd, "the cool kid", is gone, they can all be dorks. He says that even though he's the last man standing, he doesn't feel threatened, he even calls them "Rafe's Angels". This is thoroughly demonstrated by their cross eye contest. Wow, these people really need to make up some new games. Poor Lydia can't cross her eyes, she just opens them real wide. Rafe and Danni actually- wait, am I really talking about these people's eye crossing skills? Rafe and Danni get the tree mail and inside is a key. They expertly assess that this must mean the reward challenge is for a car. Stephanie says that she's in desperate need of a car. Look babe, a car is the last thing you're in desperate need of.

Pontiac Torrent or a $1M?

When they get to the challenge later, Jeff is standing in front of a nice new Pontiac Torrent. I've personally never heard of this car, but it looks really nice. The winner will drive down to an archeological dig site where they'll have a bbq and spend the night. He says they'll be playing a game called "Second Chance". Because the game producers ran out of ideas, they decided to just combine the past games into one.

This is what a skeleton looks like on a balance beam

They have to traverse a balance beam and untie macanas, those throwing things. Then the top 3 will then move to the next challenge where they have to throw the bananas or whatever they're called and break tiles with their names on them. The two people who do that fastest will then move to a puzzle and have to put that together. The person who does that fastest jumps in a cart, chops a rope, and rides down to cross the finish line.

They start off and immediately Stephanie is in the lead, damnit! Stephanie, Cindy, and Danni make it through the first one. Then Stephanie and Cindy make it through the second, and then, thankfully, it's Cindy who wins because Stephanie couldn't put the puzzle together fast enough. ha-ha. Of course Cindy's overjoyed at the idea of winning the car and being able to eat. Good ole Probst does add a twist. He tells everybody that in the 10 seasons of Survivor the person who wins the car has yet to win the million dollars. He calls it the "Car Curse". That Probst is so witty. He says he'll give her a chance to avoid the curse... she can say no to the car, and give all four other players cars instead. All of the sudden four other Torrents come driving up. Pretty cool moment. Everyone goes crazy because, as we found out early, Steph and Rafe don't even have cars. Cindy debates out loud with herself. On one hand, you have a chance to not be a dick and give these four other people, who have the ability to vote you out, four brand new cars. Or, you can be greedy and keep the cars for yourself. HHMMM, what would Jesus do? Cindy says that she doesn't believe in superstition, and she wants the car. You can just about hear Probst's voice at tribal council already. The other players put on a happy face, telling her that it's ok she was a greedy bitch. Probst tells her to, of course, pick someone to go with her, and guess who she picks? Rafe, her usual partner in crime? Lydia, who hasn't been able to enjoy one reward? Danni who has played the game big time in the past few days, would be a great ally and needs a damn burger? Nope, she picks Stephanie, who has eaten more than anyone ever on Survivor, combined. "Oh, you picked me? Oh, wow, thank you. Blah blah blah, I'm a dirty whore." Ick ick.

Oh look, she's realized her sh*t does stink

They jump into the car and go on their excursion. Stephanie is just so happy that Cindy won the car. She goes on and on. Back at camp, the othres can't believe she won it either. Actually, they can believe that, they just don't believe she didn't give everyone else the car. Trust me, neither do we. Steph assures Cindy she did the right thing by taking her with her to reward, oh, I mean not giving up the car. Really, what are you going to say to someone that's taking you to get some food with them, oh, you stupid idiot? No. Cindy says that just because someone gave her a car, doesn't mean they'll give her a million dollars. Yes, that's true Cindy, but they'll have a lot harder time voting for you if you haven't just shafted them. Luckily, when they get to the archeological dig area, they have to cook their own food. ha-ha.

Danni and Rafe continue to talk about how interesting it was that Cindy took the car. Rafe even says that he wouldn't have voted for her if she had given it to them. Lydia on the other hand thinks Cindy made the right decision. Seeing that Lydia has no idea how to play the game and has ridden on the coat tails of everyone this whole season, not sure she's a good barometer on good decisions. Cindy and Steph share some lesbian time and hang out talking about how cool they are.

The next morning Cindy and Stephanie make their way back to camp. Cindy spends what seems like hours talking about her damn car. Seriously, is this woman a complete idiot? Rafe and Danni listen to her ranting about it, wondering why she doesn't shut the hell up. Later, Stephanie and Rafe are mashing corn or whatever it is they do, and start talking about reward. Rafe admits that he would have given the cars away. Stephanie is completely flabbergasted that Rafe would even consider it. Argh this woman gets under my skin. "You wouldn't have taken the cars? That really surprises me. Blah blah blah, I'm a dirty whore." Stephanie is supposedly one of the best players to play the game and she doesn't get that you should give up the car?

This is what a skeleton looks like chained to a pole

Next is the immunity challenge. Danni gives up the necklace and Probst tells them that this will be a rope course. The rope is attached to each player. Their feet and hands are shackled. They each have a set of keys and must first find the one that unlocks their hands. Once they do that they have to unwind the rope enough to make it to the next pole. At that pole is a lock that will unlock more rope. Once they unlock the rope from four poles, they can unlock their feet. They must then run to their flag and let it down. The twist is, they may not make it to the flag if they haven't unspun enough rope. Stephanie and Rafe make it quickly out of the gate. Rafe falls behind and it's neck and neck with Cindy and Stephanie. At this point I'm really not sure which girl I want to win. I'm ALMOST rooting for Stephanie since there's no real chance she'll get eliminated anyway, so I'd rather Cindy leave. Stephanie does get far enough ahead that she can make a run for her flag, but she doesn't have enough rope, ha-ha. Eventually she does win, at which point she breaks down and cries. Boo hoo, I've never won an immunity challenge on my own, cry cry. Ick Ick Ick.

"Blah, blah, blah, I'm a dirty whore"

Luckily when they get back to camp, Rafe and Danni immediately confirm their bond. Danni promises that she won't vote for him, and in turn, he promises her the same. She says that if they make it to the final three, she'll take him to the final two. Rafe does make, what I think, is a bad decision, and goes to Stephanie to get her vote for Cindy. Stephanie then goes and blabs to Cindy that she looks like she's getting voted out. They talk about how Rafe is the best person to vote out because he's won a lot of challenges. Yeah, because the last challenge I remember him winning was the episode Gary was voted out, the immunity challenge. So no Steph, since the game's come down to the wire, Rafe HASN'T won. Dumbass. I do worry that Rafe is next, because they don't show anyone talking to Lydia, the true swing vote.

Oh look, it's a rainbow

At tribal council the jury is brought back in, everyone clean shaven except for Gary. Judd has a pissed off look on his face. Hey, it's only been three days, I'm sure he's still bitter. Quite frankly, I really don't remember what was said. They blab a bit about alliances and if they were still good. Judd squirms in his seat a bit and then they all vote. You see that Cindy votes for Rafe and Rafe votes for Cindy. No one else's is revealed. When Probst tallies the votes Cindy and Rafe's votes are read first, and when the rest are read, it's Cindy that gets the boot. Ha-ha. She makes some smart ass comment about "that's ok, I'll be able to look at the stars through my new sun roof." Um, ok, that's worth a million bucks. Judd seems to like it though, he does a little "in your face" gesture. What a tool.

Tune in this Sunday to find out who is named, the sole Survivor.

TRAILERS

Here are my Friday trailers. Just remember that I'm not saying the movie's gonna be good, but the trailer looks good. Inside Man and X3 look AWESOME!!!! And the Pink Panther looks hilarious! Don't forget, Brokeback Mountain opens in limited release this weekend. I'm camping out at the theatre for this one.

X-Men 3

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/x3/



















Inside Man
http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/insideman/


















The Pink Panther
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/thepinkpanther/

















Dreamgirls
http://www.apple.com/trailers/dreamworks/dreamgirls/












Tristan and Isolde
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/tristanandisolde/

















Fun with Dick and Jane
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/funwithdickandjane/

THE AMAZING RACE

Cryin' Chrissy Godlewski

So, after watching this episode I can say I'm #1 excited to see who wins, and #2 glad that it's almost over. I've had mixed feelings about the show. I love it, I hate it, whateva. I'm also slightly worried about who they're setting up to win. More on that later.

The show starts out with the Bransens and Weavers meeting Phil at the ranch and finding out that the leg is still going. They rush off and the Linzes make it to Phil first. Of course, still not knowing the race continues, Chrissy Godlewski breaks down in the car, and on the mat with Phil. They get renewed hope when Phil tells them the leg isn't over. He yells encouragement as they get into their car and drive off. I'm thinking after they leave he jumps in a helicopter and is whisked away to the pit stop. I love Phil.

If you remember correctly last episode, due to Old Faithful, the Bransens and Weavers were a good hour and a half in front of the Linzes and Godlewskis. The Weavers decide to stop and ask for direction, and one of the girls insists they get gas while they're there too. She's put in her place and told to shut up unless she wants the belt used on her, and they don't get gas. Everyone makes their way to Turtle Ranch where they find out that it doesn't open until seven the next morning, giving everyone the chance to bunch up again. The Weavers have a pity party and stay inside their camper, refusing to talk to everyone because they're "in this alone. No one likes us". See this tiny little violin, I'm playing it for you.

Tommy "Uncle Bone" Linz

The next morning the groups wake up bright and early and at 7am, sprint to awaiting Yukons or some type of large SUVs. They're driven up the mountain to their detour. They have the choice of building a wagon, or building a teepee. My roommate had to give me a nudge at this point because I fell asleep for a second because I was BORED. Although, I am able to stay awake every time the Linz boys are on, they're just so damn cute, especially Bone (Tommy, the youngest). The Linzes and Bransens decide to build a wagon, and actually breeze right through it. It helps the Linzes that they're young, strong, strapping men because they carry the wheels back to the cart fairly easily. The Bransens are hot on their tail by what looks like just minutes.

The Weavers pitching a teepee

The Weavers and Godlewskis build the teepee which actually looks harder than I thought. Poor Chrissy G. is just starving for attention, she wants so bad for her bitch sisters to like her that she offers to boost one of them up to get to the top of the teepee. The Weavers finish and run off followed by the Godlewskis and poor Chrissy.

Everyone learns that they're next stop will be at a hotel named after Buffalo Bill's sister. Megan Linz wonders if he was a tall tale but Bone and Alex correct her. Silly Megan, she was thinking of the guy with the ox, Paul Bunyon. The Linzes and Bransens are neck and neck heading to the hotel, but the Linzes stop and ask a local for help identifying Bill's sister, Irma. The Bransens cruise by them, but have to stop and ask a local for help as well and the Linz retake the lead. Once they get to Irma's they have to dress up in period clothes, take a picture with Buffalo Bill, and the present the picture to him for their next clue. Of course the Linzes have a blast doing this, with the Bransens chomping at the bit for their turn.

The next clue instructs them to drive (big surprise) 72 miles to a golf course in Montana. I was so hoping it was a race track. Is that wrong? Anyway, the Linzes are off and the Weavers show up to Buffalo Bill right as the Bransens are getting their pictures taken. In turn, the Godlewskis show up as the Weavers are getting their pictures taken. Most likely there's about ten to fifteen minutes between each team.

Phil's Camel Toe

The Linzes show up at the golf course and learn that it's a Roadblock. Traditionally, a Roadblock is performed by one person, but on this special family addition of the Amazing Race, it's performed by two members of the family. Sorry, I just had a Phil moment. Did anyone else catch his major camel toe? It was like a car wreck, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. In this task they have to pick a colored flag and then drive around in Buick golf carts and look for the balls of the same color on the course. Having taken color theory in college, I know that red is on the opposite side of the color wheel as green, so I would have personally chosen red, but the Linzes choose their trusty Cincinnati orange. The Bransens are next to arrive and grab a flag. Nick and Alex Linz are way ahead, but at the last hole, we see that they've missed their orange ball, it's in the hole. Wally Bransen figures out that sometimes it'll be in the hole and instructs his daughter to look. The Bransens make it out quickly followed by the Linzes. They all make their way to the pit stop, another ranch, this time in Montana.

As the Linzes finally find their ball, the Weavers show up and start looking. Soon after the Godlewskis show up and Michelle and Sharon decide to do it. Michelle is the one who always yells at Chrissy so right away I'm wishing for a moderate golf cart crash. Sharon is the one that's usually driving and can't turn around on the road. During their trip around the course they begin to bicker. Now I don't have sisters, but I really hope this isn't how we'd be. You can sorta tell they all really don't like one another. I really don't like them either. Yeah, Chrissy's annoying, but she tries real hard. Not like that bitch Sharon who just barks orders, or Michelle who is so passive aggressive with Chrissy she just makes fun of her under her breath. Back in the cart Sharon's had enough and jumps out, deciding to walk the 18 hole course instead of staying in the cart with her sister who's driving erratically and nearly losing her sister. Bye-bye million dollars. Michelle finally talks Sharon back into the cart and they find their balls. By now the Weavers have found theirs too and are on their way to the pit stop. The Bransens and Linzes show up to the pit stop at what looks like the same time, but it's the Bransens who make it to the mat first. They all four win Buicks. The Linzes arrive soon after and take second place.

As I'm watching I'm trying to deduce how far behind the Godlewskis really are. I usually judge this by the sky. Sky's not giving it up. As the Weavers make their way into town, the Gods of Kobol shine down on me and allow me to witness the Weavers getting pulled over by the cops. They aren't as bright as Bone and his siblings, but at least they don't tell the cop they're in a race. He gets their license and registration and tells them to wait. Now wouldn't this have been a lot more fun in a foreign country? Well, they get let loose and now I'm starting to worry. This is a one horse town and if the Godlewskis had passed them by down that one street, we would have seen the two look at each other and would have gotten some emotion from one of Weaver girls. Probably some trash thrown out of the window or something. Alas, no trash, at least thrown, and the Weavers get let go with just a warning. As they make their way to the ranch their gas light comes on. I haven't prayed like this since Jack Bauer got shot a few seasons ago, but unfortunately, they make it to the pit stop. Fancy editing makes it look like the Godlewskis are there too, but I know better. The sisters arrive and of course Chrissy is crying and Phil tells them they're not the Biggest Loser. Oh wait, sorry, I got confused there. And for what feels like the first time in weeks, someone is eliminated.

My Linzes

I would have liked the Weavers to have bitten the dust, but we need a villian I guess. We get to see great scenes for next week's season finale, the best of which is Nick Linz trying to beat Rolly Weaver to the front of the line at an airport with Linda Weaver yelling "Don't hurt him" or something like that. No clues as to who wins the race, but it does look like they may get out of America and go to Canada. Woohoo! I'm still rooting for my Linzes, but I wouldn't mind the funny hat Bransen girls and Wally either.

24! YES, I SAID 24!!!

24 is one of those shows either you love or you hate. I happen to LOVE the damn thing. Yeah, yeah, it's completely out there that he has all of these bad days, how does he stay up for twenty four hours? When does he eat? Go to the bathroom? All of these are valid questions but I DON'T CARE. The show keeps me on the edge of my seat the entire hour and there are more "a-ha!" moments then any show I watch, dare I say more than LOST? Yes, even. And they're not even "a-ha!" moments they're "HOT DAMN" moments. So imagine my complete and utter happiness when I read that if you buy season 4 of the DVD set, you get a special "where has Jack been" 10 minute mini-episode that shows a bit of what Jack's been up to since Day 4 ended and before Day 5 begins in January. I was lucky enough to get my hands on it and watched it. Shout out to G-Led for hookin' a sista up!

Just a quick recap. When we last saw our dear Agent Jack Bauer he was going into exile. If you remember he was being targeted by our own government. That dumbass Vice President/President Logan had ordered Jack brought in and turned over to the Chinese for leading the raid on the embassy and getting a man killed. Of course, the true President, Palmer, gives Jack the heads up to avoid being sent to China and most likely killed. So Jack, with the help of Tony (was it not the best last season when he showed up out of nowhere and saved Jack?!?), Michelle, and Chloe, Jack faked his death.

In this mini-ep we're treated to the last scene with Palmer and Jack where Palmer wishes Jack luck and says that this is the last time the two will talk. I remember when I first saw this scene last May, cried like a BABY! Then Jack walks into the sunset, a marked man. (Damn) Flash to 12 months later in Chicago, Illinois. It's light out and Jack drives to what looks like an alley. He's in a hooded jacket pulled up with long hair. He gets out, and is suspicious of two men getting out of a truck nearby. Another car pulls up and it's Chloe. She walks towards the parked trucks on some sort of lot and is pulled between the two by Jack. She says that after Jack "died" she used a program to access the medical examiner's database and mess with his autopsy. Apparently, three days ago someone accessed her computer and realized she did that. Of course this means this person now knows that something's up and can assume that Jack is alive. On top of that they've tapped into her phone records and realize she's been in contact with someone in deep cover in Chicago, of course that's our Jack. Chloe tells him that he needs to leave Chicago. She starts to leave and he asks about Kim. Chloe says that she was devastated, but it's been a year, so she's better. Ah, how I've missed Chloe. She takes off and Jack goes to his car. As he's getting in, someone drives by on a motorcycle. And since most people on motorcycles are evil, he keeps an eye on them as he gets in and starts the car. Soon, a BMW shows up and starts chasing Jack through the deserted city streets and alleys. Jack sees a forklift in one parking lot and in true Jack genius he circles around and forces the tinted window BMW into the forklift, disabling it and probably killing whoever's inside. He checks out what just happened and puts his hood up, walking back into the sunset. The mystery person on the motorcycle watches all of this from afar.

January 15th and 16th will be the four, count 'em, 4 HOUR season 5 premiere!!!! Some of you complain about this show being unbelievable and, "how many disasters can Jack be a part of?" Blah blah blah. Jack is a rogue agent, everyone but four people believe he's dead, including his own daughter. He's created a life for himself under a fake name and now someone's after him. How much more exciting can you get!?!

GREY'S ANATOMY

It's not too often that a really good show comes along, one you can see being devoted to for years. ER was one of them nearly 12 years ago. Battlestar Galactica on Sci Fi is another. And LOST last year, and now this year, Grey's Anatomy. They characters are dynamic, and round, and sympathetic. There are times when I want to ring Addison's neck, but damn if she isn't a great doctor. Christina, she's so single minded, but is slowly learning how to integrate love into her life. The ultimate is Alex. I feel so sorry for him. He has so much going on in his life and is completely unequipped to handle it. George on the other hand has really surprised me. I thought for sure he was going to be unsure of himself, faltering at every turn, but instead he's really taken the road to becoming a great doctor.

The show starts with the quints. These poor babies, one has his insides on the outside, another has a heart condition, one has underdeveloped lungs, one isn't doing half bad and one has brain swelling. Each baby is assigned on an intern and they argue about who has the best quint. It's pretty cute. Izzie's still pissed at Alex, and rightfully so, he was doing the not so cute nurse with syphilis last week. After he walks out she complains to the others about the whole situation. She tells them how good in bed she is and that he'd be lucky to have her. They don't lend her much support, they just tell her how better off without him she is. That sucks when friends do that, that's not helping. I know I'm better off without him, but I still want to be with him. Sorry, I got a little emotional there. See, this is how this show affects me.

George and Meredith are walking down the hall and George gets up the balls to ask Meredith out for a drink later. Unfortunately she-devil and McDreamy are in front of her arguing. Apparently Addison wants him to get rid of his double wide trailer and live with the rest of the civilized people in a normal house. It was only sexy for McDreamy to live in the trailer when he was single. Meredith and McD are able to find time later (against Addison's wishes) and she tells him to stand firm and not give up the trailer. He insists that he won't. Nice, tell him to defy the Mrs.

Later, George gets assigned to Timothy Bottoms. He had melanoma on his finger, ear, and nose and they've operated, grafting skin onto the wounds. Unfortunately for him his blood hasn't started flowing properly so they're going to have to resort to putting leeches on him. I'm immediately reminded of that scene in Stand By Me and the leeches. Ah, good times. Olivia, the slutty syphilis passing nurse, is assigned to the case as well and she's having trouble putting the leeches are. George makes some comment about her and leeches and Bottoms is surprised. He thinks Olivia and George are in item and wants them to make up. Listen buddy, you don't know what went down. When George starts to throw the leeches out after they've done their job, Bottoms saves them, even naming one of them George, how sweet. George tries to hold his emotions in but eventually makes it known to Olivia and Bottoms, that what she did to Izzie was wrong. She claims she didn't know Alex and Izzie were together and I'm inclined to believe her. Doesn't mean I like the ho. Later she gets stuck in the elevator with Izzie and tries to apologize to her for sleeping with Alex. Izzie's not having it and storms out.

Christina runs out of Burke's before she can eat the spread he's made for breakfast. I just love these two together, I hope they can stick it out. When she gets to the hospital she gets assigned to a woman who's been brought in from a prison. She's in for killing three people and to have a change of scenery, swallows three or four razor blades. Of course she's not stupid so she's put tape on the outside of them. I can barely swallow my big ass vitamins, I couldn't imagine swallowing that. My question of course is how this murderer in solitary confinement could get razor blades. I'm reminded of Prison Break, long live sexy Michael Scofield! Anyway, Christina tells her that she'll be out in a day or two, which upsets her since she thought she'd be able to stay longer than that. Eventually, in protest, she eats a light bulb. I once saw this guy on Guinness World Records that ate glass. I can't stand it when a potato chip gets wedge between my teeth. Anyway, they have to operate and the woman gets another two weeks in the hospital, much to her delight. And Christina's too a bit, the nut job grew on her.

Meanwhile, Alex is still upset over nearly killing Booger. Unfortunately, because of Alex's mix up last week, Booger is in a fairly irreversible coma. McDreamy can be a McDick sometimes and makes Alex feel even worse than he already does. Poor Alex, first he almost kills Booger, then he breaks up with the cutest intern at the hospital. Alex spends most of the show trying to find a cure for Booger to get out of the coma. Unfortunately McDreamy shoots down all of his ideas, but eventually makes Alex feel a bit better by telling him about the first guy he killed. There were others?!? Note to self- don't go to Seattle and get sick.

Checking in on the quints and they're not doing too well. The one with the lung problem's lungs collapse a few times. Lucky for one of them Dr. Bailey is feeling maternal and talks baby talk to them. Bailey also tells Meredith to watch the quints mom. Good she did too because the woman's feeling a bit guilty for having all five babies. I'm gonna refrain from putting in my two cents here. Meredith tries to make her feel better by wheeling her into the babies' room, but she leaves when one of the baby's monitor starts to go off. They take Izzie's quint into surgery for her heart and have to close up. The heart was much smaller than they thought.

Alex and Meredith talk in the quints room about what's been going on and she offers him support. "Oh no he di'int" says Izzie when she walks in and sees them. She's pissed and walks out. Meredith tries to follow her and claims she wasn't trying to sleep with Alex. Izzie says, "Why, you slept with everybody else." BAM! She's got you there Mere, you went down the ho route as soon as McDreamy dumped you. Later, with the quints, Meredith has the idea to put her sick quint in the incubator with the healthier quint. This works and the sick quint's stats go up, spending the night with her sister right next to her. Bailey congratulates her on thinking of it.

Addison talks to Dr. Webber and says that Izzie shows a lot of promise. Addison asks if he remembers what he did to her when she was learning from him. He wonders if this is the best thing to do to Izzie and Addison says that this is the way to find out if she's truly gifted. I'm thinking she's going to take her out back and jump her in. Fortunately, that doesn't happen. She tells Izzie that she has to stay another night with the quints. Izzie informs her that she's not on call, that she spent all the previous night on call. Addison doesn't care and tells her that her quint, the heart one, better be alive when she gets back in the morning. Izzie works furiously through the night and the quint holds on by a thread. Izzie even has the nurse call Addison to have her come in, but she refuses, saying that Izzie should handle it. The next morning Izzie wakes up next to the incubator and the baby's gone. The nurse tells her that the baby died half an hour before, Addison told the nurse not to wake her up. When Izzie confronts Addison about it she admits that she knew the baby was going to die. After the heart surgery it was obvious the baby wouldn't make it through the night. Izzie is pissed and Addison tells her she did this so she wouldn't get too attached to her patients. Poor Izzie's just getting crapped on all day.

Luckily, she and Meredith make up and Meredith takes her to the pound and they buy a mutt for the house. I'm not really a dog person, but this dog is nasty looking. I hope they give him a bath. Oh, and if you didn't watch it, or can't remember it well, Meredith was looking S-K-I-N-N-Y. And not just "model" skinny, more like, "I'm a skeleton with clothes on" skinny. I really like Ellen Pompeo who plays Meredith so I'll forgive her. Maybe she's just getting over the flu, or spent a night on a meth binge. These people could do no wrong for me, unlike the crack whore skinny Susan over at Housewives.

DESPERATE (am I really still watching this) HOUSEWIVES

Last year at this time I was glued to the tv every Sunday watching the phenomenon known as Desperate Housewives. The women were silly and not really what I thought normal women were like, but I believed there was some truth to them. I wondered if when I got married I'd be like they are. A lot has changed in a year. I find just about none of the stories on this show believable. Instead of being loveable and sympathetic, the women are pathetic and with the slight exception of Bree, I don't give a crap about them. They also all surround themselves with assholes, which is another reason for my disdain. This is all especially true since the show is paired with probably one of the best, if not the best, show on tv, Grey's Anatomy. For an example of how to write real characters and put them in slightly unbelievable situations but still make everyone enjoyable, down to Earth and watchable, keep the tv on into the 10 o'clock hour. That being said, I'm vested in Housewives. I want to see it succeed, I want to see Gabrielle come to her senses for more than thirty seconds and realize what a stuck up bitch she is, or I want her to be a stuck up bitch, like Eddy and own it. I want to see Lynette spend one episode without manipulating her kids, husband, or boss. And Susan, poor Susan, I'd like her to "get it" without having to be hit over the head with it. Bree I have the least problem with, yeah she was a dumbass for awhile while she dated George, and she's ignoring her whoring around daughter and is completely oblivious to her devil's spawn of a son, but hey, she's real. She's slightly delusional, but who wouldn't be in her situation. And once she found out that George was the cause of most of her problems, she had no issue with watching him die.

Okay, enough of that, let me give you a quick play by play of what happened this past Sunday on Wisteria Lane.

Addison makes it over to Susan's house out of pity I guess because he doesn't seem too happy to be there. Does anyone else find it distracting that his name is Addison? Marc Cherry's just trying to be Grey's Anatomy I guess. Anyway, Susan shows him pictures of her growing up and he looks less than thrilled. He gets impatient and starts to leave, but not before reluctantly excepting a picture of her. Later, Susan gets a call from him in jail, he's been arrested for solicitation. Nice bonding moment here, Susan must be so proud. Unfortunately for them, when Susan drops him off at his house, his wife sees and becomes jealous, thinking he's having an affair. She even spray paints the word "Whore" on Susan's garage. Haha, that's great. Susan insists he tell his wife about her. But we learn he doesn't, when Mrs. Purdy follows Susan into the grocery store and starts throwing food at her and calling her names. Susan finally tells her that she's his daughter, and Mrs. Purdy realizes that Addison has been cheating on her their entire marriage. Seriously, what tipped her off, getting arrested for picking up a prostitute or having a 38 year old daughter? Susan's pissed at dear old dad who finally comes to apologize to her, and says that once he works on his marriage a bit, he'll be ready to start a relationship with her. Girl, you're gonna be waiting a long time because that marriage needs as lot of work.

Next up is manipulator, oh, I mean Lynette. Lynette gets the hairbrained idea to start a work day care. Per insurance guidelines if there are sixteen children or more, they can have a day care. This gets her real excited because what she really needs at work are her little assh- I mean children, running around causing the poor day care workers to want to slit their throats. The only problem is her boss, Ed, can't imagine his wife giving up time with their daughter to leave in day care. Lynette has the wife to the office for tea and tries to talk her into it. The wife ain't havin' any of that and wonders why Lynette even had kids. I'm just wondering why she wanted more after those twins. Later, Lynette tries to make Ed stand up for himself with his daughter and it backfires, as usual, and causes Ed to just kidnap the baby. I'm starting to think Ed's not the sharpest tool in the shed, yet he runs the company. He must have started it on his own. Anyway the wife shows up and is furious. Ed tries to stand up to her but she just tells him she's leaving. Seeing her plan falling apart, Lynette does what any sane woman would do, she locks herself in her office with the baby and makes Ed and his wife realize this is best for everyone. The wife finally agrees to the day care.

In a true twist, Zack returns to Wisteria Lane. Just walks up. Did he walk from Utah? He and Paul are reunited. When Zack asks Paul about the identity of his real father, Paul lies. Ohh, big moment, Paul actually lies about this. I didn't see that coming. I mean, why wouldn't he tell Zack that his father is the plumber from across the street that he held hostage and who almost killed the man he thought was his father. Stupid. Paul goes to Mike's house and tells him that Zack is back. He also says that they're going to move away from Wisteria Lane. Mike for some reason wants to be a part of this little psycho's life and he and Paul throw around some threats about going to the police. Mike is able to one up him, you know, because he actually killed someone, and Paul is convinced to stay on Wisteria.

Gabrielle is being her snotty spoiled self and getting even more jealous of Sister Mary. Sister Mary, I do have to say, is a bitch. Gabrielle gets angry that Carlos is at church instead of the massage appointment he said he was going to be at, and makes a fool of herself yelling after him. In her defense, if you said you were going to be somewhere, you should be there, but she didn't have to get all crazy about it. Later, we learn that Sister Mary was going to take her annual trip to Africa to help the poor but can't go. Gabrielle's tiny little brain starts working overtime and she realizes that with a small donation, she can send Sister Mary and another nun away for a few months. Not wanting Gabby to win, the nun invites Carlos on the trip and of course he decides to go. Not to be outdone by Lynette and her manipulation, she purposely doesn't tell the doctor giving Carlos his vaccinations that he's allergic to eggs, so this makes him extremely sick and unable to go on the trip. Gabby starts to feel bad, until Carlos, in his sick haze, says Sister Mary's name. And really, we don't know if he was having a sexual dream. God I hope not, that woman is not cute. She's channeling the early 90s with that bleach blonde hairdo. Ewe.

Betty and Josh are finally back after being stuck in that house last week where we didn't get to see them. They learn that Caleb is being held in the psyche ward of a hospital. Betty goes in under the guise of playing the piano for the inmates/patients. What's interesting about this place, there's no security. No cameras, no guards, just one nurse who looks and walks the other way. I also thought, being Housewives, that we'd have some crazy people running around, but they all must be drugged up. While all of this is going on, there's a mysterious stranger who's after Caleb as well. He's being played by Michael Ironside. I can't say enough good things about this guy, he's a great actor and is so creepy looking. He seems to be a PI or something, but he goes to the hospital, dressed like an intern or something (look Marc Cherry, you aren't Grey's Anatomy and you NEVER will be so get over it). He finds Caleb's room, but no Caleb. Josh is standing in the back of the room with a baseball cap on listening to Betty play for everyone. Ironside sees Josh put his cap and jacket on Caleb and usher him out of the hospital. Oh yeah, because black people all look alike and no one will notice one person coming in and two people coming out. Seriously, where is this Wisteria Lane, I'm going there so I can commit crimes and never get arrested. Not that I want to commit crimes. We'll have to wait until next week to see who Ironside is. Most likely he'll be someone who we aren't too surprised to see. It's been many episodes ago where we actually got a good "a-ha!" moment.

Over in Bree's world, the detectives have her come over to George's house and tell her about him committing suicide. She pretends to be surprised and then asks them over for cookies. Not really, but I wouldn't put it past her. They show her that George not only has been collecting her undies, but had also made a doll of her likeness. Well, not really her likeness, looks more like a drag queen trying to play her, but still, it's supposed to be her. She's disgusted and runs out. Later, she has Andrew pulled out of the camp for delinquents and tells him that George is dead, and that he killed Rex. Of course Andrew is upset, but mostly at Bree. This kid needs a good ass kicking, really. Anyway, he insists that since Bree had a hand in killing Rex, that now he can do whatever he wants. And by whatever he wants, I mean have gay sex. We never actually see the sex but he has his boyfriend Justin over. Justin is the one who's roommates with John the gardner and who Carlos beat the crap out of last year, or in Housewives time, a little over a month ago. Well, they're hanging out watching movies and about to hook up when Justin suggests they wait until Bree's gone to bed. Andrew says he doesn't care, that he hates his mother. He says that his mother doesn't understand him because he's gay, and instead of waiting for her not to love him anymore, he's just stopped loving her. Wow, harsh. He also says that he's just waiting for her to slip up, and when she does, he's going to nail her for it. Of course later when he and Bree are talking he's pissed because George didn't suffer, and went out on his own terms. Bree sees her son is hurting so does what any parent who is delusional about their son's state of mind would do, she tells him that she was there when George bit the dust. He smirks over her shoulder when they hug and says thank you. This kid is evil, I like him.