If I went to church this is what I'd pray for.Ugh. I hate being wrong about something so good. Although, I wasn't really wrong wrong. The first hour of the new season of Heroes was frakin' amazing. But the second hour, and the episode after that had me doubting my own sanity.
Go away.I hate Nikki, or whatever her name is now. Her story is stupid. She was one of triplets that got DNA modification and they all have abilities. What? And Nikki is really dead, so no more Micah, the only thing (person) interesting in her entire storyline. Blah, done, who cares. And she's teaming up with the other non-story. Nathan. By some odd ass rule, after he's blown up and shot, he's able to take a Senate seat that's vacated by someone. What? Silly Washington. And Nu-Nikki recruits him and then tries to quit and then unfortunately is unsucessful in killing herself and is saved by a flying Nathan. Oh, and Nathan has gone batshite crazy and is seeing Linderman, who may or may not be alive but nobody else can see. This story is so stupid. Hopefully it makes sense soon. Oh, and just like Nikki's useless ass power, Nu-Nikki can freeze things. But it seems she has to be touching them, unlike Iceman on X-Men who can actually throw his ice. But don't worry, as is ALL of the characters on this show, she will soon be able to do something one of the X-Men does. I won't go into the "German" in the second hour and second technical episode that could bend metal. Really Heroes? Really?
Run, girl. Run!The other person who is working my last nerve is Mohinder. You know I'm all about Mohinder and his sexy ass, but he has gone nutso. He injected himself with experimental hero-juice because his new girlfriend (wtf?) Maya wants to get rid of her evil eye power. Now, because he's injected himself he can scale walls, hang upside down on rafters and has super human strenghth. Oh, and he's a tool. This all sounds so familair. Hmmm. The best part, just to make sure you're paying attention, Mohinder starts to get disgusting wing-like, skin-like flakes on his back that he peels off. I think, like the Sarah Palin/Tina Fey split screen, I'd like to see a split sreen of The Fly and Mohinder. Because seriously, really? Really Mohinder?
One other story that is so not floating my boat is Hiro. His father died, he got put in charge of the family business, just to reiterate the fact that society in a whole is completely misogynistic because why wouldn't his amazingly smart/business school educated/basically running the company before sister ever be considered for this? Wasn't Hiro just a regular business man before, not even working at his father's company? I'm confused. Anyway, in probably the most interesting part of this story Hiro goes four years in the future and sees Ando kill him with kick ass electric powers. Seriously, they were kick ass. But since then he keeps doing stupid stuff, like disobying his father's wishes and taking out of the safe half of a formal that could destroy the world which the new character, super fast Daphne steals. He and Ando go through trying to get the formula back only to be captured by The Hatian, and thank God he's back, I love him. You know who else is back??? Adam aka Kensei aka Julian Sark aska The Hotness aka My Future Boyfriend. Mamma Petrelli tells Hiro he has the key to saving the world and guess what that key is? That hot hunk of man he buried in the the family plot who is still alive since, like Claire, he can never die. You know what else can't die? My love for him.
As you can tell I'm going from worst to best. The next is Parkman. At the beginning of the season future Peter teleported Parkman to the middle of nowhere. He comes across a guy who tells him he's in Africa and has been basically waiting for him. The guy can, get this, draw things in the future and has been doing this, outlining Parkman's life. Now the show is copying itself. Anyway, Parkman sees that the world is in deep doo doo and sees that the African (don't black people get real names on this show???) has painted a moment that looks like Parkman is holding a dead woman. Intrigued, and who wouldn't be, Parkman takes some of the man's juju paste and puts on the man's headphones and sees the future himself.
In the most random and and another WTF moment, it's four years in the future and Parkman's married to Daphne. Huh? They have a baby and are still taking care of Molly. Oh right, Molly, you remember, the one who can find the heroes? And speaking of Molly, with Mohinder freaking the eff out and turning into the Fly, and Parkman doing a walkabout in Africa, who the hell is taking care of her in the present?
Sarah Palin as Mamma Petrelli.Meanwhile, Mamma Petrelli has a secret. And this secret is huge. Sylar is her son. Seriously, that was another WTF moment. I'm totally confused. Wouldn't Nathan have noticed if his mother was preggers and didn't have a baby when he was like 10? Whatever, I've decided not to question minor things like that with this show. MP seems ot think Sylar can be taught to be good. Has she ever seen that video of that guy getting eaten by his pet lion? Anyway, she sends him out on a mission with the newly reinstate Noah Bennett. Is it just me or he looking hotter these days? The guy is hot, but hasn't been given the ability to show his full hotness potential on this show. Trust me on this though, he's tall, lean but in that musclar way, and without his classes he is classically handsome. Yum. Sorry, lost my train of thought.
Hey honey, there are worse things you could look like.MP is mad at future Peter because, as he sent Parkman to Africa, he also sent present Peter (PP, hahahah) into some deranged killer from Level 5. They all escape Level 5 and go on a murder spree. This is PP (trapped in some hot Latino's body), The German, some other guy, and then some cute little black man, double yum.
Anyway, PP wants to stick with these guys because he thinks he can help them. What he doesn't realize is Jesse, the guy he's in, told his crew the plan of breaking out and then robbing a bank, forcing Noah Bennett to come get him so he can kill him. Rut-roh. MP sends Noah and his new partner, Sylar, into the building, hoping this new structured life will make her crazy baby not as crazy. Doesn't work. Future Peter shows up and grabs PP out of Jesse's body, leaving Noah vulnerable, but of coures, Sylar saves him, only to kill Jesse for his cool ability to yell at people and knock them over. No joke. Cute black man gets away. Oh, come to find out, cute black man's power is that he gets super human strength from people when they're scared.
Sylar in a suit. Yum.Anyway, MP puts Sylar back into jail because it's not time yet. PP is taken to the future with future Peter because he wants him to see how jacked up things are now. He tells him that everybody basically went loco and he needs to stop that. Oh, and also, everybody in the future has powers. Like everybody. Someone created a formal to give them powers and people are using it to go crazy and steal things, kill people, etc. Basically it's what they feared would happen in X-Men and that the big blue furball became a Congressman to stop. I loved that movie. Take that critics!
FP tells PP that the answers lie in Sylar, who is in Costa Verde, in the Bennett's old house. Huh? Before PP and FP can find anyone to back up his story, Claire kills FP. That's a bummer, I was getting a little excited watching the two Peters together (that's what she said!). Anyway, future Claire is a bitch. Well, present Claire was a bitch too. Peter goes to see Mohinder because (what?) he's still in that G-D loft of the painter's. Who the hell is paying the rent on this place? All Isaac's stuff is still there? And he was KILLED in it, why wasn't this a crime scene. I'm confused. Anyway, Peter goes there and Mohinder is hidden away, breathing all heavily, he scurries around the floor. He says his formla was wrong. DER! He again says Sylar has the answers.
Little Sylar. Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter.Peter zaps himself to Costa Verde, ready to fight Sylar, but Sylar's not Sylar, he's Gabriel. Gabriel is a daddy now, to little Noah. Yes, his kid's name is Noah and he's living in the Bennett house. WTF?
FC is in a gang with cute black man and Daphne. Oh, and right, now it's time for us to see Daphne with Parkman. They have a kid, which is cute. She wants to use Molly to try and find Peter. Future Parkman's not happy about this, but since he's always been sorta ball-less, he agrees and tells Daphne to be careful. So FC, CBM and Daphne all go to Costas Verde.
There are so many things wrong and wonderful about this picture.Peter and Sylar are catching up. Peter's still not buying this Suzy Homemaker routine, even though Sylar is wearing a cute "kiss the chef" (or something) apron and cooking pancakes for his ridiculously adorable kid. Sylar takes Peter aside and tells him that he's not a crazy mofo anymore. Of course Peter doesn't ask the one question I think was weighing on all of our minds... Who is the mommy???? Anyway, Peter wants Sylar powers, all of them, so he can go back to the past and save the world. Sylar warns him that his power is dangerous, because, like being a vampire, once you get the "hunger" you can't control it. Luckily in the future he's learned to control it. Peter doesn't care, he wants it anyway because he thinks the only way he can win is if he has his power. How stingy is Peter. He just needs to stand next to somebody and he gets their power. He already has a bunch of powers. I do think it's interesting thought that they are Ying and Yang. Oh, maybe they're twins. I love that idea! I'm calling them now. How Sylar has to kill people to get their powers and Peter doesn't. Oh, and while they're taking a trip down memory lane, Sylar tells Peter that they're bros. Peter is flipping the hell out. He eventually takes Sylar's powers.
She's like 3 1/2 feet tall. She does NOT scare me.Anyway, while they're discussing it the crew shows up and grabs little Noah. I wonder if Claire knows that that's her cousin. Anyway, they threathen the boy and Peter tries to reason with Claire, says that she was never a biatch like this before. She's not having it but Peter distracts her and punches her like she needed to be punched and Daphne and Peter fight. Cute black guy is fighting with Sylar who tell LN to go hide. Cute black guy pushes Sylar and he flies into the table LN was hiding behind and kills him. Daddy Sylar does not like this at all and goes nuclear on them, like Peter did, and basically effs Costa Verdes up.
Parkman and Molly are concerned for Daphne who shows up (instead of going to the hospital?) and dies in Parkman's arms. Parkman then comes out of his funk and wonders if it was all a dream. Haven't you been paying attention!? He figures he should find this chick. The African tells him to find his power animal, which Parkman quickly and idiotically decides is a turtle. There is a lot of symbolism in this episode.
Present Peter's in the morgue with his dead future self. He can't teleport out because The Haitan is there. But Nathan comes in, he's President now, and Nu-Nikki is his first lady. I hate her. He tells Peter he's going to take the blue furball's advice and set up some rules for these crazy ass people. Peter starts to get all Sylar-psycho and does that thing where he lifts them up and takes off the top of his head. He just killed his bro. That is not right. He freaks out and teleports back to the present and into Sylar's holding cell in Level 5, grabbing him. Sylar kind of chuckles at the idea that Peter now how the "hunger".
Like I said, the second hour of the premiere and the second episode were shite. But the first hour of the premiere and the last episode (3rd) were amazing. I'm all over it again. And any time Peter wants to walk around without his shirt with his cute little cocked smile he can feel free to do so.
