Monday, March 12, 2007

YOU KNOW, THE PHILIPEANS


"Yes, I'd like to check myself through to Argentina. I'm waaaay under the weight limit."

I'm finally back, for a real recap. I thought, what better way to come back then to talk about The Amazing Race. We've already seen three teams leave us from our all stars. John Vito and Jill (boring), Kevin and Drew (who turned out to be douche bags) and Kentucky (RIP, too bad you guys sucked at racing). Rob and Ambaaa have stayed strong and I know it's crazy, but I just love these two. Besides them coming in first every leg so far, all the other teams have been all over the pack. Sorry for the lack of pictures, there just aren't that many hanging around the day after the show airs.

We're now in Chile, or so Phil tells us and Rob and Ambaaa start out at just past 6am. The clue tells them to fly to another region of Chile. They rush to the airport with Uchenna and Joyce, Eric and Danielle, Danny and Oswald and Teri and Ian hot on their tails. Two hours later, a little past 8, the Guidos leave. The one tells us that he doesn't like being on the bottom. I assume he means bottom of the pack since he's definitely the top in that relationship.

When they land they'll have to find a shipwreck. Schmirna takes off last and think it's best to go to a hotel to see if they can book a flight. Normally that wouldn't be that smart, but seeing that they're in the back of the pack, it's not too crazy an idea. Too bad the little one leaves the purse with their passports in the car. Mirna tells us that she does a lot of the work for the team, to compensate for the teams "shortcomings". I'm gonna leave that one alone.


Eric looks hot from this angle. Too bad he's not hot from the front

Teri and Ian get on the flight, but the Beauty Queens and Danny and Oswald score the last tickets. Oh look the rest of the teams are talking about Rob and Ambaaa. They should be worried because Rob and Ambaaa are on the Internet, finding out that that shipwreck they're supposed to look for is actually a painting. Oh, my favorite team is so smart.

Schmirna doesn't really make any progress at the hotel and Teri and Ian talk their way onto that first flight. So it seems that The Guidos and Schmirna are going to be stuck on a flight that's nearly 2 hours later. The Guidos try to talk their way onto it, but they don't like gay people in Chile apparently. So it looks like it's going to be a race between the gays and the midgets. This should be fun. The Guidos decide not to share the information they got from a local with them with Schmirna. Charla's wearing a shirt that says "too hot to handle". Like a hot potato. But smaller.

They finally get on their flight and I guess their only hope is that something doesn't open for awhile, but it's the middle of the day, so I'm not sure. Once landed, Rob and Ambaaa get a head start. They also still think they know that it's a painting their looking for and not a boat. Uh oh, more reason to hate Rob. Apparently on the flight, the stewardess (um, they're called flight attendants now Rob and Uchenna) was writing down directions for Uchenna and to hear Uchenna tell it, Rob came and stole the piece of paper. Now, I'm not going to say that's not what happened, but I don't see Rob seeing what's going on, running up, grabbing the paper and running away. I would think Uchenna could have stopped that. Rob says that Uchenna did ask for the directions, but that the "stewardess" gave them to him instead. I guess to believe his story fully I'd have to think the stewardess was really stupid because Rob and Uchenna look NOTHING alike. Maybe a little in the eyes.


Rob and Ambaaa were wrong though about the shipwreck, it actually is a ship and the teams get there and realize it's a Detour. They have to "navigate it" or "sign it". The "navigate it" is something about going into town, getting a compass and navigating their way to find a nautilus building where they'll get their next clue. In "sign it" they have to use a map, build a sign with all the places Magellan went on his voyages, making sure they're in the right order. They don't have to be in the right direction though. Thank goodness, that'd be tough. After building it they get their next clue. I would think navigating would be easier. Rob and Ambaaa, the Beauty Queens and Uchenna and Joyce do the "sign it". Wow, that looks confusing.

"Um, like, which way to stupid. Oh, stupid's right here?"

Eric and Danielle do "navigate it" quickly and are done first. They find out they have to sign up forone of two charter planes that leave 3 hours apart. Good lord. They're flying to Argentina. Oswald and Danny do that one too and finish in lightening speed. The "sign it" thing is just silly, they're still trying to figure it out when Ian and Teri, who couldn't read the compass finish. Awe, Oswald and Danny get on the first flight and do a little dance. Lovely. Ambaaa realize they're wasting time and wants to quit and do the other one. And she should because her husband can't spell and has spelled Philippines, "Philipeans". Hahahaha. That's how they spell it in Boston. Because of this, they aren't getting it right. He says under his breath that he hopes it's not a spelling thing.

The Guidos and Schmirna get in and the other teams are STILL doing the sign one. Uchenna and Joyce finish and head off, finally. The Beauty Queens want to work with Rob and Ambaaa and they decide to go do the other one. Schmirna does the sign and the Guidos do the navigate one. Schmirna's arguing and it's funny. Actually, Mirna is yelling. The Guidos catch up and pass Rob and Ambaaa and the BQs! Rob thinks he knows where they're going and I'm worried.

Oh my goodness, Schmirna is pissed and yelling at each other. Wait, I just got distracted, there was a commercial for Jericho. Oh Skeet, how you haunt my dreams. The Guidos make it to the store and get their clue. Rob's wrong and they have to run around to the right place. Schmirna decides to do the other one too and go. Rob and Ambaaa finally figure it out and make it to get their next clue. Rob and Ambaaa and the other four teams are on the last flight. They get into a little fight because Ambaaa tells us he wants to be in first so bad that he's pissed.

The next day the first charter leaves and I hope Oswald and Danny can get first. Teri and Ian run right by the cluebox and yay, Oswald and Danny find the cluebox first. They have to now travel to a bay and take a boat that departs every 20 minutes and can carry two teams. Since all the other teams have left, leaving Rob and his ground behind, he's still pissed. Awe, poor guy.



Oswald and Danny and Eric and Danielle make it on the first boat. They find a Roadblock. The person has to sort mail and find a letter addressed to their team. Phil tells us that what they don't know is the letter was written to them by a team from their season of The Race. Oh, how exciting. By the time Teri and Ian take off in the boat the other teams are just landing. This is gonna be exciting! Rob and Ambaaa are left with Schmirna without a taxi. Rob flags one down and Schmirna tries to steal it. Charla's running for it saying she called for it. NO SHE DI'INT!


Oswald and Danny find their letter and it's from Blake and Paige. I sorta remember them, but whatever, they didn't make it on all stars, so they must have sucked. They read the letter and think it's sweet. They have to search the island they're on to find the next Pit Stop. Phil's looking good.

Eric and Danielle find their letter and it's from Dani and Jeremy, their teammates from the last race. That's nice. Not really. Everyone but Rob and Ambaaa and Schmirna make it to the cluebox.

Oswald and Danny make it to Phil first. YAYAYAYAY!!!!! They get a vacation to Maui! Danny (or Oswald) asks Phil to come with them on the trip and Phil says it's a whole different reality show. Wow. Rob and Ambaaa make it but they don't see the cluebox. They realize they're going the wrong way and turn around, but not before telling Schmirna the cluebox is down the wrong way. Hahahahah.

Teri and Ian finally find their letter and it's from Flo and Zach. She was the most miserable piece of crap every to do The Race, and she won a million dollars. Of course. The Guidos and The Beauty Queens beat Uchenna and Joyce to the boat numbers. Rob and Ambaaa catch up to the other teams, but so do Schmirna, but Uchenna and Joyce get the last boat with Rob and Ambaaa. Oh, now Charla's confronting them about why they said they had the clue and lied. I don't know, maybe because it's a RACE. Ambaaa lies again though and says she was talking to Rob, saying she "got it" meaning figured out where the clue was. Hahah, I love liars.

I guess this could go any way, depending on how fast or slow someone takes to sort the mail. The Guidos get a letter from Frank, who I guess is no longer with Margarita or whatever his wife/girlfriend's name was. Man, I remember Frank, he was hot. The Beauty Queens finally find their letter and it's from Lyn from 'Bama who were their archenemies. The other woman didn't sign it because she hates them, just like I do. Way to be dramatic Race producers.


This is just mean

Uh oh, Ambaaa tells Rob to look at each letter carefully. This can't be good. Schmirna shows up and all three teams are sorting together. Oh this is exciting. Joyce finds their letter and it's from Susan and Patrick. Oh yeah, the whiny little gay boy and his mom. They go off to the Pit Stop and it's down to Schmirna and Rob and Ambaaa. And they're fighting. This is so tense. Schmirna finds their letter first. Oh dear lord! Their letter is from Lance and Marshall, blah blah, just let Rob find his damn letter!


Oh look, Charla took a "little" spill

Schmirna's pissed and run off calling Ambaaa a bitch. But Karma takes care of them. (see above picture) Rob FINALLY finds the letter and it's from Susan and Patrick and is quite rude. Not really sure why Rob and Ambaaa are moving so freaking slowly. Read the damn letter, get the clue and RUN!


SON OF A HOLY CRICKEY! Schmirna makes it to the mat first, and Uchenna and Joyce are there, helping her. Uchenna even comes to Charla, who's taking up the rear, and grabs her hand to help her the last few steps. That is really sweet.

So, Rob and Ambaaa step on the mat last and I'm still holding out hope it's a non elimination round. But alas, it's not. On the good side, all of my friends can start watching the show again now that these two aren't on it.

I'm sad that they're gone, but at the same time, now all the other teams won't be complaining that they suck because of these two. RIP dear Rob and Ambaaaaaaaaaaa.