CRAZY IS AS CRAZY DOES

I don't mean to pat myself on the back for this one, but I called this whole episode. I'm pretty proud of myself too because it took me forever before I figured out the big twist in The Sixth Sense. Pretty slow on the uptake with that one, but credits were pretty much still rolling when I figured this one out. The good thing about this show is that even when it gets predictable, it throws in a curve ball. This is why I love this show.

We open with dear sweet Libby and Hurley doing some exercising on the beach. Not that kind of exercising , get your mind out of the gutter. Really exercising like running on sand. I don't know how you all feel about running on sand but it's sorta like pushing a rock uphill for me. And don't even think about getting me to play any beach volleyball. I can only jump about half an inch. Libby tries to encourage him, but he admits that it's not really the exercise part that's his problem. I mean, it sorta is, but we know what he means. She doesn't really understand what he means. They're on a deserted island, with rationed food, what could possibly be the problem.

He takes her to his problem. I like to call it, his stash. Since he was in charge of the food, Lord only knows why, he slowly took whatever he wanted and stored it all in the jungle, macaroni and cheese, cereal, peanut butter. It takes a lot for him to tell her this. He says he wants to get rid of it but can't. She, like any skinny bitch, tells him to just get rid of it. He finally understands what she's saying, because as someone who loves food, especially food that I will never see again because I'm on a deserted island, it took me minute too. She means he should throw it away. In the worst scene since those bastards dropped the blood on Carrie at the prom, Hurley starts ripping up and wasting all of this food. I understand his desire to get the temptation away, but they're on an island, they were starving before they found that hatch, and he's ripping up and ruining all of this perfectly good food because he's fat. I'm sorry you don't have the will power, trust me, I get it, but to waste all of that food is just frakin' stupid. If he's strong enough to ruin it he should be strong enough to go give it away now. They have a good time ensuring their deaths come sooner and have a moment that looks like they're going to kiss.

Sadly it doesn't happen because all of the sudden the other castaways start running by, toward something. When Libby and Hurley follow them they see the dropped food from the last episode. The other castaways are freaking out, gathering as much as they can. Libby and Hurley are dismayed. They should be happy, here's more food to waste so Hurley can get over being fat. They wonder where the food came from and Charlie gets them up to date about the hatch doors coming down with Locke inside. They didn't really ask all that, but I guess Charlie wants them to get the entire picture. Charlie wonders if anyone saw the plane. Forget about seeing it, did anyone hear it? No one did and Sawyer makes some cute comment that reminds me of how much I want to just eat him up. Everyone starts to get a little too excited about the food and mini-fights start breaking out. Charlie thinks they should have someone watch the food again. Someone who they can trust not to take any, someone like Hurley. Hurley's not too happy with this idea so Libby steps in and suggests everyone just take what they need. Does she mean what they need for a week? For a year? Sawyer doesn't think this is a good idea.

Hurley's too dazed to argue because behind the crowd of people he sees that bald guy Charlotte married from Sex and The City. He's wearing a bathrobe and gives Hurley a half smile. Hurley goes over to where he was and he's not there, he's closer to the edge of the woods. Hurely follows him as Libby looks on, concerned. As Hurley starts running I wonder if maybe that's what they need to do, it's like a carrot. He'd run if he has a purpose. Maybe not though because after a few seconds he trips and falls on his face. It's dangerous to run through the jungle. Alas, this may not have been one of those hallucinations, ala the horse and Jack's father, this could be real because Hurley does find one of the guy's slippers on the ground. He then goes around the entire camp seeing whose foot fits into it.

I hope he was using Odor Eaters

On the beach later Hurley's staring at the slipper. Libby comes up and he hurries and hides it. She asks him if he's okay and why he took off running in the first place. He plays it off and doesn't really give her a solid answer. She then starts getting all island conspiracy on us and thinks the island doesn't want Hurley to lose weight. Does the island like popcorn and sad movies too? Libby says she's proud of him for not freaking out. I guess running into the woods after someone who isn't there may not be freaking out in her book.

In the first flashback of the night Hurley's in a shrink's office. The shrink is played by the charming and wonderful Bruce Davison. He wonders how Hurley’s diet is going. I don't know Dr. Bruce, how does it look like it's going? Not very well. Dr. Bruce promises it'll get better. They talk a bit about Hurley’s mother, and how her visit went. We find out that she's the one who put him in here, after some sort of "accident". It's been nearly two month he's been in the hospital and Dr. Bruce is looking for some results. Two months... interesting. Dr. Bruce has given Hurley homework, of which he hasn't done. His dog ate it. He's pissed because no one else had homework. Who else is he talking about Dr. Bruce wonders. Dave, his friend, who said he didn't do it either because it's stupid. At this moment I figure out what's going on. I'll tell you a little more and see when you figure it out. Dr. Bruce warns that Dave can be a negative influence, and that Dave doesn't want him to change. Hurley thinks Dave's the most normal person in there.

This psychiatric hospital is pretty nice. They have a gym and all. There's a friendly game of basketball going on, and look, there's Sex and The City baldy, he's Dave. The guys on his team won't pass him the ball, but what do they know, they're all crazy. Dave sees Hurley and goes over, at which point one of the basketball guys finally throws the ball, although it's just to Hurley. Dave gets pissed, since Hurley isn't even in the game. Dave wants to go have some dinner but Hurley tells him that Dr. Bruce said he was a bad influence. No he's not, but while they're on the subject, it's Taco night, and they better get there soon because crazy Helen's building a Taco house and they'll run out soon.

That's some bedside manner I wouldn't mind

Back on the island, in the hatch, Jack's finally looking over Locke's wounded leg. Locke can wiggle his toes and asks Jack if it's broken. Since Jack shipped his X-ray glasses back to America on a Fed Ex cargo plane, he can't tell. If he has to guess, which he does, yes, there's probably a small fracture. He thinks Locke won't be able to walk on it for a few weeks. When he suggests that wheelchair on the beach Locke freaks out. Whoa, whoa, okay, no wheelchair. And even if he did have a wheelchair, how the hell is he supposed to get around. If I can't jump in the sand I sure as hell wouldn't be able to push myself around in a wheelchair. Kate thinks crutches will do and goes off to get them. Since Henry didn't leave Locke the night before when the hatch opened, and he was wounded, Locke tries to talk Jack into not hating the guy. Jack rightfully points out that Henry thought his story was going to check out, so he didn't need to leave.

"Potatoes, spaghetti sauce, toilet paper..."

Speaking of Henry, they've strung him up in the locker by his wrists and Sayid is questioning him. Sayid should feel fairly vindicated since he was sure the guy was an Other from the very beginning. He questions the man about the real Henry Gale. Henry (I'll just call him still because it'd get too confusing if I called him anything else) says that the real Henry Gale was already dead when he found him. Henry says that four months before he was part of a search party, and that they found Gale, his neck already broken. Ana-Lucia walks in and hears Henry finish the story, that he was nice enough to bury the man and put up a marker. You know, in case someone took him hostage in the future and he needed an alias. (Speaking of Alias, the show returns for the final episodes of the series starts Wednesday, April 19that 8pm!!!) Sayid finds this story amusing, and pulls out a twenty dollar bill. Looks like writing on it. Sure enough, Sayid tells Henry that Gale wrote his last thoughts on the bill. Uh oh. It's a goodbye letter to a "Jennifer" about crossing the Pacific and owing her a beer. It then says that he's going to the beach to start a signal fire. Then of course the normal, "if you're reading this..." sign off. Sayid wants to know how Henry knew Gale's wife's name. Did he interrogate him? Oh, good question. Henry starts to get nervous and Sayid starts getting angrier, asking how many of them are there. Henry says "you have no idea what he'll do" to him if he told. Sayid wants to know who this person is and Ana-Lucia wonders if it's the guy with the beard. Henry says that he's no one. Sayid whips out a gun and points it at Henry's head, saying he has 3 seconds to tell him how many there are. He counts and Henry's screaming and when he gets to three he actually pulls the trigger. Luckily Ana-Lucia steps in at the last minute and pushes his arm up, making him shoot the wall. I'm sure Henry's crapped his pants by now.

Since Locke can't move he starts yelling that he heard a gunshot and Jack runs to the locker. Ana-Lucia has the gun and encourages Jack to get Sayid out of there. Poor Locke is still yelling from his bed, helpless. Jack finally goes over to him and tells him that he has it covered. What covered? Has someone been shot? Jack could have definitely told him a little something more, like "everything's alright". Henry tries to thank Ana-Lucia and she just leaves the locker and closes the door behind her.

Near the beach Charlie pulls some sort of pallet to Eko who's sawing some wood. He tells him that he thinks maybe he could use this wood for whatever it is he's building. I think this is more of him being nosy then helpful, but Eko's not biting, he doesn't say what he's building, just asks Charlie if he wants to help. There's nothing else better to do so Charlie agrees. As they're working Charlie again tries to get out of him what the hell he's building but he won't say, at least not yet. He's so mysterious.

In the jungle Hurley's searching around for Dave with the guy's one slipper. He comes across where the food drop was. Unfortunately, someone left a box of "Fish Crackers" which I can only assume are Dharma's version of "Goldfish". I guess in this situation even I'd eat those nasty things. Hurley starts devouring them and voila, Dave appears. Hurley closes his eyes and insists Dave's not there. He picks up what looks like a rock and throws it at Hurley. That bastard. Hurley just looks at him and he picks it up again. I think it may just be a coconut. Before he can throw it he runs off into the jungle. Hurley runs after him and comes through the jungle right in front of Charlie and Eko. I think it startles them for more then one reason but most of all because it seems Hurley's just been running. Hurley wants to know if they just saw a guy in a bathrobe just run by. Eko says that he didn't and Charlie makes some smart ass comment about a polar bear. Hurley plays it off and walks away.

In the institution Hurley's playing Connect 4 with Leonard. Remember Leonard's the guy that got Hurley in trouble with those damn numbers. He's still muttering them but Hurley's not yet sick of it. Dave thinks these are "magic numbers" and funny enough, Dave's sorta right. Hurley thinks they're just numbers. Give it a year or so buddy. Dave sees some celery near Hurley and wonders what the hell it is. It's a vegetable that's great dipped in bloody marys. Regardless, Dave doesn't think it's a snack. I'm there with ya there Dave. He sees Leonard has some graham crackers. Yeah, I guess that's better then celery. Dave wants Hurley to steal some off of Leonard's plate, he'll never notice. Man, this Dave guy's an a**hole. When the nurse comes around with Hurley's medication Dave tells him not to take it, that if he ever wants to get out of there he shouldn't take the horse tranquilizer. I think the kids call it "Special K". Anyway, Hurley starts to talk about Dr. Bruce and Dave interrupts him, saying Dr. Bruce doesn't care about him. We find out that one of the pills Hurley's taking is called Clonazepam. We'll need to know this for a future scene. Just then Dr. Bruce shows up and wonders if everything's okay. Yeah, he was just talking to Dave. Dr. Bruce says hi to Dave and Dave looks disgusted. Dr. Bruce has a camera and wants to take a picture of the two of them. (Okay, if you haven't figured it out yet that Dave's an imaginary friend and how this picture's going to come into play then maybe LOST isn't the right show for you) Hurley puts his arm around Dave and Dr. Bruce takes the picture. He asks Hurley if he's taken the meds and Hurley dutifully takes them and Dr. Bruce walks off. Dave's excited when he realizes Hurley didn't take the pills after all.

Back on the island Sawyer's eating Dharma's version of Oreo cookies. I'm trying to figure out if all this Dharma food would be better or worse then the regular kind. Let's hope it'd be better, with lots of vitamins and minerals. Anyway, he tries to do the whole taking off the top and eating it thing but it just breaks. Hurley walks up and tells him the right technique, to twist it first. Sawyer then throws the uneaten cookie on the ground. What is it with these people and wasting food? He'll never have that again. It's not like he can go down to store and buy another bag, he'll have to wait until the mysterious plane drops it from the frakin' sky. Sorry, I just hate wasting food. Sawyer says that he has enough food to open a mini mart and wonders if Sayid needs a job. Okay that's fraked up, but sorta funny. Hurley's not there for Oreo education though, he wants to see if Sawyer has that medication he was taking in the hospital. Sawyer wonders why he needs it and Hurley gives him a quick rundown of Dave, without coming out and saying that he knows his name and has been seeing him for years. Sawyer asks if he means that guy over there and Hurley quickly turns around. That silly Sawyer, there's no one there. Hurley freaks out and attacks Sawyer. They fall into Sawyer's tent and it collapses on them. Sawyer tries to crawl out, yell for help, but Hurley pulls him back under. Jin and Sun and a few others hurry over. When they realize it's Sawyer getting his ass kicked they don't do anything. Sun finally tells Jin to break them up and he does.

Kate's on the beach retrieving the crutches when she hears the commotion. She goes over to Sawyer who looks a little bit banged up and laughs but says she's concerned. He basically tells her to go away and she wonders why it is Hurley would attack him, I mean besides all the other reasons, the guns, the drugs, the redneck attidude, etc. Sawyer just repeats that he thinks he's crazy.

Poor Hurley's packing to leave the beach. Libby finds him and wants to know what the hell happened with Sawyer and how it felt to hit the sumabitch. She sees that he puts a large Dharma peanut butter into his backpack. She wants to help him but really doesn't know what to do. She questions the whole peanut butter thing but truly, does somewhere really need an excuse to eat and love peanut butter, I think not. Hurley plays it off that he's going to need protein because he's going to go back to the caves and become a hermit. She tries to help him but he insists she can't.

As he's walking through the jungle his backpack rips and the peanut butter falls out. It breaks on a rock and it's the creamy kind. I'm not a fan of creamy, although it's great for just smothering it on some ice cream and heating up. I wonder if that plane dropped any ice cream. Anyway, he picks up a huge gob of it with a leaf and starts eating. Suddenly Dave appears again and Hurley tries to pretend he's not there. Hurley thinks Dave can't be there because he's still at the hospital. Dave insists that yes, he is there.

We're back at the hospital and Hurley's with Dr. Bruce. His dog didn't eat his homework this time. Hurley goes over what seems to be what he likes about himself. One of the things is that he likes chicken. When Dr. Bruce corrects him he says that he likes that he likes chicken. Oh Hurley. Dr. Bruce wonders why he didn't say anything about the way he looks. Hurley thinks that he can't do anything about it anyway so whateva. Dr. Bruce pries him a bit and it comes out that Hurley thinks that if he wasn't so fat then what happen (I'm assuming the "accident" he was talking about earlier) wouldn't have happened, that they wouldn't have died. Interesting. Basically it was sorta like that episode of ER last year. There were too many people on a deck and Hurley stepped out. Straw that broke the camel's back sorta thing. Hurley obviously just feels guilty, and that after the accident he stopped talking and going out and sleeping, but he didn't stop eating, since that's how he punishes himself. Hurley then gets upset and tells Dr. Bruce that Dave was right about him, and that Dave cares about him, is his friend. Dr. Bruce then shows Hurley the picture he took of him and Dave and guess what, there's no Dave, just Hurley sitting there with his arm around no one.

In Hurley's room that night Dave comes by to break out. Hurley's a bit confused, since he now realizes Dave's a figment of his imagination. Dave slaps him to make him realizes this is real. I'm thinking this might turn into that awesome Fight Club scene where he's kicking his own ass. Dave does slap him again and Hurley tells him about the picture, and him not being in it. Dave tries to play it off and says that Dr. Bruce used Photoshop to doctor it. Hurley kinda accepts this and they go down a corridor. Dave points out a tray of food which Hurley quickly grabs and starts eating off of. They go past a guard and make it to a locked window. Dave wants to know if Hurley has those keys he stole off of Dr. Bruce's desk. He reaches into his pocket and there they are, very Fight Club. They open the window and Dave's exhilarated, even jumps out. Hurley's still unsure of this whole thing and stays inside. He comes to the conclusion, after Dave goes on and on about the great food they're going to have, that maybe Dave doesn't want him to get better after all. Dave says that if he doesn't come with him now, that he'll never get out of there. Hurley takes a moment to think about it and then closes the window on Dave.

Back on the island Hurley has his eyes closed real tight and when he opens them, guess what, Dave's still there. Dave asks for his slipper back and Hurley gives it to him. Dave sits down next to him and warns him that things are going to get worse before they can get better. What's worse then being trapped on an island with the Others and a crazy French women? Not being there. What you say? Well, after Hurley tells Dave about after leaving him outside and Dr. Bruce letting him out and going back to live with his mom and getting that great job at Mr. Clucks, Dave drops a damn big bomb. He says that none of that ever happened, that he's still in the hospital. Hurley doesn't really understand what he's saying, but if you've ever seen that dumbass movie Vanilla Sky, you'll know what he's talking about. He says that the island and everything that's happened is all in his head, that he's in some sort of coma and it's all imagined. Hurley starts believing it when Dave wonders what numbers he played to win the lottery, oh, Leonard's number, the ones that are popping up all over the island too. This must mean he's in a coma and dreaming everything. Then he takes it where no friend should ever take it. He talks about Libby. He says that in the real world no cute blonde chick would ever just appear and have the hots for him. I can't really argue with that one.

As Dave walks Hurley through the jungle they talk about everything being in his head and that Dave represents the part of him that wants him to wake up. They get to high cliff and oh look, it's Tom Cruise and Kurt Russell there. To snap out of this coma he says to throw himself off of the cliff. He has to tell his mind that he doesn't believe in all of this and that Neo and Trinity will be there for him when he wakes up. To prove that this isn't dangerous, Hurley's imaginary friend jumps off the cliff.

In the hatch Locke approaches the locker and Ana-Lucia who's taking apart a gun and timing herself with a blindfold on. Locke asks about Jack who's on the beach telling everyone they caught an Other. Locke wants to talk to Henry but Ana-Lucia doesn't think that's the best idea. He asks or five minutes and she agrees. Locke goes in and Henry's resigned to just be creepy. He talks about God not being around for them and Locke thinks maybe his "people" are looking for him. Henry thinks the hatch is a joke. He says that he crawled through the vents and stood at the computer as the alarms beeped and just let the counter go down. He says it flipped through some hieroglyphics. Then he says that he heard a loud sound that sounded like a magnet. What the hell does a magnet sound like? He asks Locke if he knows what happened next and of course he doesn't, he had a door in his leg. Nothing. He says the timer went back and started counting down. In case we didn't get what he just said, he says he never pushed the button. Locke thinks he's lying but Henry says that he's done lying. Locke just gets frustrated.

On the cliff Hurley's calling after Dave when Libby shows up. She wants to know who the hell Dave is and Hurley wants to know how she knew he was up there. She says that eagle eye'd Jin saw him while he was fishing. Trying to catch her in a lie he says that Jin doesn't speak English. Sun was there to translate. Ha. Hurley starts spouting craziness about her being the part of him that's scared and doesn't want to wake up. He's backing up towards the edge and Libby says that she understands he's having a little panic attack. She's confused because it's not like him but he's on the defensive and wonders how she even knows him. Libby says that she was starting to get to know him and bats her eyelashes a bit. He admits that he killed two people because he's fat and that he has an imaginary friend who's a douche bag. Libby's afraid he's going to hurt himself. And by hurt himself she means fall off the cliff and shatter into a million bloody pieces. He reassures her that he's not because he's imagining all of this. He goes with what Dave was saying that no girl like her would ever like him. He puts it together about how at the beginning he said he thought he knew her from somewhere, he says its because he made it up. Then Libby asks him what the name is of the man who broke his leg was when they first got there, on the other side of the island. Of course he doesn't know what his name was. Libby knows because she buried him. She says that he couldn't have made that up because she remembers doing all of that stuff and it was real to her. As she's talking he's thinking about it and asks her if she saw him holding a slipper earlier on the beach. She says no. She then holds Hurley's face in her hands and says that she's real and that the way she feels about him is real. Then she kisses him. He asks her to kiss him again and she does. She successfully has talked him off of the ledge.

In the bad ass moment of the night (still a bit predictable, but I'll go with it) it's a flashback to the scene where Dr. Bruce was taking a picture of Hurley and Dave's not there. As we pull back there's someone sitting at another table. Sure enough, it's Libby, with dark hair, staring off into space, probably on "Special K" too.

SISTER SISTER

Yeah yeah, I know I've procrastinated with this recap. Not that I didn't want to do it, but I figured since a new show's not going to be on until the end of April, having a little Grey's fix in the middle of the drought my be good. That and I'm lazy. Not so much lazy is there are 23749274o8 other shows I'm trying to recap and I'm just one person, you know. Okay, I'm done with the pity party.

We open to find Meredith at Joe's knitting. I guess to keep from getting drunk and going home with strangers she decides to knit. She could go home and watch a movie for the same effect, but knitting it is. McDreamy comes in and wonders what she's doing. She says that she's replacing knitting for sex, and that she's now celibate. He doesn't think she can do it. Damn, he just called her a ho. Addison comes up and they all pretend like they're friends and that Derek isn't really in love with Meredith.

At the hospital Izzie's still sorta dating Denny, who's looking much better then the last time we saw him. She tells us that since Meredith can't knit she's knitting the same parts and replacing them. Not really sure if she's doing that while Meredith is sleeping or if Meredith knows it, but it's cute either way. Talk about cute, Denny makes some comment about wanting to get in Izzie's pants and I nearly drop on the floor. Dimples and a sense of humor? Only on television.

Over at Burke's, Callie, George's girl is over and they're all playing "celebrity" or some other Pictionary/Charades type game. Callie and George are clicking, big time. Unfortunately when Christina gets the easiest person known to man, Madonna (har har), Burke just can't get it. Nothing she says jogs any sort of memory for him and they lose. Christina's a sore loser. I mean we knew this, but you can see the hate in her eyes for George being there.

Later, Meredith, Izzie and Christina are in the surgery observation room. Izzie and Meredith are knitting together, listening to Christina complain more about George and wanting him out of the apartment. Meredith suggest sleeping with him and then crying about it, that that worked for her. Down in the operating room with Alex and Burke it's clear that Alex has been doing his homework. Unfortunately, the woman they're working on doesn't have a good prognosis. Alex says that she's "toast" and Burke thinks maybe he should work on his bedside manner.

McDreamy and Addison meet up at the elevator. Apparently that mangy old mutt of theirs, Doc, is sick. Really, sick? I never would have thought it. He looked like such a heathly animal. They're both obviously concerned about him.

Christina meanwhile is participating in a surgery class. The Chief walks in and says that he likes to take these refresher courses. Always the top of her class, Christina's the first to raise her hand when the teacher starts asking questions. The Chief looks surprised and impressed while Christina's a bit intimidated to have him there.

Addison's working on her case with George. It's a young woman, Molly, who's baby is in distress. Addison's going to perform some miraculous in utero surgery that seems way too scary to talk about. Molly's mother is concerned as well and says that they hear Addy's the best. She puts them at ease by confirming that. Outside of the room George is approached by none other then Meredith's father. He asks if Meredith's working today and George suddenly recognizes who he is. He confirms that he is Thatcher and I realize that Ellis was right, they do kinda look like each other. On cue, Molly's mother walks out and we put two and two together, this is Thatcher's new family and this is Meredith's half sister having the baby. Hot damn!

McDreamy and Bailey are looking at the surgery board and The Nazi is pissed. She hasn't had a surgery in awhile and thinks The Chief is pissed at her for having a baby. I don't know what makes her think that he would be pissed because of that but there is something wrong that she hasn't been scheduled for surgery. McDreamy can feel for her and she decides to be his intern, that she'll scrub in with him. He tries to resist but who can resist The Nazi. She assures him that she hasn't even begun to freak out. And I believe her, she held in her own baby so her husband could make the birth.

Oh look, Peter Horton, he used to be on thirtysomething

In the hallway Izzie is for some reason bitching about Callie to Meredith. I think she's being a protective friend, but it's quite strange. Anyway, right at the moment she's saying the worst stuff Callie walks up behind them. She tells them both to come with her. They go into a room and are doing something nasty to a patient. I mean, it's medical, but it has to do with dislocation and relocation and it gives me the heebie jeebies. Izzie tries to get out of her if she has some secret she's hiding from George and Callie can see her coming from a mile away. She makes some rude comment about Izzie's modeling days, which she kinda had coming. Izzie insists that she's George's best friend and is just looking out for him. Callie then says that Izzie doesn't really have a good record with matchmaking, hinting towards Meredith who's in the room. Uncomfortable!

Alex and Burke's inoperable patient is none other then Jackie from Rosanne. I love this actress, especially her amazing guest spot this season on Without A Trace (http://primetimetvblog.blogspot.com/2005/11/without-trace-quickie.html). They break it to her that it's not really looking too good. She thinks there must be other things they can do, begs them to just go on and cut everything out, that she needs more time. As they're telling her there's nothing they can do her young teenage daughter walks in, oblivious to what's going on. She complains about the hospital food and wanting something decent to eat. When she notices the doctors, she surprised her mom needs more then one. Jackie tells her daughter that they were just leaving. De-Nile ain't just a river in Egypt.

Some cute moments are going on in the class Christina and the Chief are taking. They're doing some surgery practice thing that I don't know how to really explain so see picture above. While the teacher is going around the room and watching them Christina does exceptionally well while the Chief has a bit difficulty. He gets a little embarrassed and Christina feels good about herself because she finishes first and gloats.

Like two ships passing in the night Izzie and George pass each other on the stairs and take a moment to catch each other up on their days in the cute Grey's Anatomy way. She wants him to open up to her and tell her what he finds so attractive about Callie. He ignore her and starts talking about not being able to get away from "her". Izzie's relieved because she doesn't really like Callie and thinks she's a freak. George of course wasn't talking about Callie, he was talking about Meredith. Why he doesn't change the subject back and find out why the hell his "best friend" doesn't like his new girl is beyond me. But he tells Izzie about Meredith having a sister and not knowing about it. Now that Izzie knows it's her responsibility to tell Meredith and George has officially passed the torch. When George runs into Addison later she asks for Molly's test results. George's been too busy fretting about this whole sister thing and at first Addy's upset. When he explains that this is Meredith's sister she forgives him.

This poor sweet angel

In Derek and Bailey's surgery it's a young boy with a brain tumor. Bailey immediately goes into "mommy mode" and I realize why the Chief didn't want her in surgery. She somehow connects this young boy to her two month old son, because he's black. She's stunned to learn that Derek is waking the poor guy, Andrew, because he needs him awake. Not sure why she's so surprised, she is a surgeon isn't she? Anyway, when they wake him up they have him counting and he's doing a great job at it. We learn he's just in the 7th grade. Andrew has to keep talking and McDreamy's asking him dumb questions. Personally I think someone should take over because Derek's a bit busy at the moment. Bailey takes her cue and starts asking him other questions. We learn that he has just won a spelling bee championship and they start throwing words out at him. I don't know how to spell most (any) of them. He's doing great, until he starts slurring his words. Uh oh, Derek hit the wrong nerve. Luckily he's Dr. McDreamy and he does some sort of magic and Andrew starts talking normal again. Phew, that had me on the edge there. This kid is so sweet. Bailey starts crying like a hysterical woman. Geesh. Later, after the surgery, Bailey visits him and says that they got all of the tumor and that he's going to be fine. She also says that she has a little boy too and that when she goes home she's going to tell him that she met the best speller in Seattle. He won't know what the hell she's saying though because he's only 2 months old, but it's a sweet moment.

Burke and Alex go to Jackie's room and she's trying to take the tubes out and leave the hospital. Burke stops her and she says she wants to leave because it's her daughter's birthday. She tries to pretend like she's feeling better, even though she just had major surgery. Alex finally stops her and is quite harsh, saying that her kid doesn't even know she has cancer and if she leaves she'll probably drop dead in the street. This actually works and she lays back down in the bed. Outside of the room, touchy feel good Burke is pissed that Alex was so harsh. He can't really say anything since Burke's right and scuffles off.

Our group is eating lunch and everyone's talking about Meredith's new found family. Meredith's not there though. George says they're nice and Izzie says she can't imagine having family you know nothing about. Oh, you mean like your long lost daughter that we don't talk about anymore that knows nothing about you? Yeah, that sucks. The Chief comes over and tells them about how Christina's kicking his butt in the class. She pretends to be modest and he says that being fast isn't always the best way to do surgery, that having a solid foundation is most important. I don't know what that means and I don't think the interns do either because they grow quiet. When the Chief leaves Christina tells the group that she is kicking his ass. When Meredith comes to the table and sits down George, of course, leaves. Meredith continues to knit and mentions how she thinks she saw her father, which is weird. Christina asks if she saw her sister too. Way to just say it and not play games.

Christina goes back to her class and it's time for final elimination. Their final test is a surgery. They begin and she and the Chief are working side by side. She glances at him working and he has his eyes closed. Bad ass! He finishes quickly and throws his hands up, yelling, "I'm done!" He then goes into a bizarre blaxploitation 70s thing and says that that's why he's the Chief. He saunters out of the room.

Now with the knowledge that her father and newly found sister are in the hospital, Meredith lurks around her room. Addison sees her and tells her how her sister is doing. In the room Addison introduces her to Molly and almost slips that her name is Dr. Grey. Meredith starts doing the woman's vitals and basically feels like a tool the whole time because Molly gushes about her wonderful family life and her amazingly overprotective father. I think I'm gonna puke. Meredith keeps on a happy face until she gets into the orthopedic room where Izzie and Callie are working. She wants to smash something so Callie has her smash up some casts. Izzie ignores her friend's freak out and starts questioning Callie again about her intentions towards George. Callie breaks it down for her and basically says that George rocks her world. Before she leaves she tells them to clean up the mess. When she leaves Izzie makes the observation that George is her McDreamy. How cute!

Whoa, he is ugly when he's angry

In with Alex and Jackie, he watches as her daughter's bummed her mom won't be home for her birthday. She's a brat actually, even if she doesn't think her mom is dying she can still see she's in the hospital. The little bitch storms out. Alex can't take it anymore and wonders if Jackie thinks she's doing the kid any favors by lying to her. Jackie thinks he doesn't understand because he's not a mother. She goes on and does another Emmy winning performance giving a speech about mothers and daughters and smelling the top of your baby's head. Very touching. And then Alex ruins it with that mouth of his by, rightfully, pointing out that her daughter, after she dies, will end up just hating her for lying. Just then Burke walks in and is stunned. He calls Alex into the hallway but before he can tell him how he messed up Alex goes off. He says that this whole telling it like it is thing is his thing, and he may be an ass like everyone says, but he's a good doctor. This shuts Burke up.

As Meredith's walking down the hall her father's wife approaches her. She says she knows who she is, that she's seen her pictures and she looks just like her cheating whore mother. Meredith promises that she didn't say anything to Molly. The woman says that Molly knows her father was married before, that he has a daughter. Apparently Meredith has more then one sibling as well. The woman also says that Thatcher thinks about her all of the time, but that her mother broke him. Damn, that's harsh. Meredith thanks her for telling her what an awful mother hers is and how great she apparently is.

Meanwhile, Thatcher is staring at the surgery board. His nemesis, Dr. Webber, approaches. I'm hoping these two throw down. The only thing better then seeing two women fight is seeing two old men do it. Thatcher remembers how he used to play the househusband role and stand at the board with a crying baby, wondering when his wife would be home. See this? (insert me rubbing me thumb and forefinger together) This is the world's smallest violin playing for ya, buddy. The Chief wants to know if Thatcher knows about Ellis and Thatcher doesn't want to talk about his wife to him. Silly Thatcher, that was simply just a segue to talk about Meredith. He tells him about Ellis having Alzheimer's. Hey, I thought you were talking about Meredith here! He just wanted him to know so he could maybe reach out to her and help her through this.

After all of this Thatcher is wandering about the halls looking for Meredith. Luckily she sees him first and is able to hide. George sees the aversion and stops Thatcher before he can run into her. Thatcher asks him if he's friends with Meredith. George says they were friends with benefits until she freaked out and started crying while he was banging her. Thatcher says that Meredith came to see him a few weeks ago. A small light forms over George's head as he stutters, "A..a..a few weeks ago?" Thatcher then sh*t talks Ellis about how she was cold and uncaring. George goes the high road and doesn't tell him that Meredith broke his heart. He says nice and caring things about her, that she's a good surgeon, which she gets from her mom, but that rest she gets from him. You know, like the abandonment thing. Thanks Pops. I joke, but it was a touching moment. George tells him that she's gone for the day and Thatch retreats away. George gives Meredith a quick look and runs away without saying anything. Meredith is able to get in a quick "thank you" to the back of his head.

McDreamy and Meredith have a cute moment in the observation room where she's still knitting. He tells her about the boy and the brain surgery and she tells him about having a sister she never knew she had. Sister trumps boy. Sorta.

So break out the box of Kleenex. Jackie is having the heart to heart with her daughter. She starts telling her life lessons, and that she should listen to her Aunt Susie, but not about hygiene because she's a nasty pig. She then tells her about not being a drunk bride at her wedding. That's the most important one right there, nothing tackier then that. The girl starts crying, and I start crying, and my roommate starts crying and Jackie tells her that she's not going to make it. When the girl starts balling Jackie tells her about having a baby and feeling overwhelmed and that none of the small stuff matters. All that matters is that her child is happy. And then she tells her that she's going to be really sad for awhile, but that she shouldn't stay sad forever. The girl promises and I'm a bit misty just writing this. Alex listen from the door and by God, he was right.

Izzie goes into Denny's room and presents him with a sweater. Okay, I've been knitting for three years and I could never knit a sweater in one day. Who cares that I only I knit scarves, a sweater in a day? That's fast work. Maybe surgeons knit faster because of their skilled hands. Anyway, she gives it to him and tells him to smell it. He does and says it smells like "Izzie". I'm kinda grossed out but it's sorta sweet too. She says she wore it for three hours (really? we never saw her doing it) and this is the closest he's going to come to her body. At least for now I hope. Then he asks to see one of her boobs. Wow, looking death in the face really makes you bold. She just laughs it off and I hope flashes him.

Christina meets up with the Chief and asks him how he won, because he had his eyes closed! He says that it's all muscle memory, that if she wants to win she has to go back to the basics. Ding ding! Dr. Yang has an idea. The next thing we see is at Burke's apartment. He and George are just hanging out, reading, talking and- holy crap! Christina walks out naked! George averts his eyes, promising Burke he didn't see anything. He asks Christina what she's doing and she says that she's just getting comfortable in her apartment. Burke freaks and kicks George out. Christina smiles and says "Basics". Funny.

Poor George is in the familiar deserted hospital corridor and he decides to make a phone call. Good, he's finally calling Meredith to-crap. It's not Meredith, it's Callie. And the reason we know it's Callie is because we hear the phone ringing and he walks towards the sound. Sure enough, Callie's living in the basement in a very creepy, "I don't have a home" sorta way. When she sees George she tries to tell him that she's not crazy and only living in at the hospital because she's there so much. What? Is she like the only doctor who's there alot? She's an orthopedist, something tells me the ER doctors could use that space more then she could. George doesn't seem to care since he himself is now homeless. He asks her to cut his hair and they end up making out. I don't know if that place has any doors, so I'm confused.

The last scene is Meredith coming into the vets office to check on Doc. She's his other Mommy. She just wants to visit him and claims she doesn't need to see the vet. Cue the hottie McHottie Chris O'Donnell to walk in. He's looking damn fine and Meredith must think so too because after a small mouth gaping stare, she goes right back to knitting.

YOU PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT

I'm sorry, they're not supposed to stick together like that

Sadly, I'm afraid the La Mina team is going to be whittled down until there's no one left and we'll be left watching these Casaya idiots for the last few weeks and picking the lesser of two evil morons to give the $1 Million to. Terry and the rest of the bunch are pretty smart people though, so maybe.

You know I love Austin, I do. Mostly I love him because he's hot, at least he was when he wasn't on the Survivor diet. Anyway, at the last Tribal Council he opened his big mouth and admitted to blowing the challenge earlier so he would seem weak. The next day he's worried that might come back around and bite him in the ass. He's probably right because the Casaya girls are talking about how unbelievable it was to admit to it. Uh oh.

Can someone please teach him the right and wrong way to sunbathe?

The entire group goes to the Reward Challenge. Since there are now nine players the groups are divided into three groups of 3. Each team will have 100 coconuts in a bin on the beach. They have to unload all the coconuts onto their opponents boats. Once all the coconuts are unloaded they have to paddle the boat out to a flag, retrieve the flag and a net and come back to shore. On shore they'll have to put all their coconuts the other teams have given them into the net to bring them back to the bin. Once all the coconuts are unloaded and the flag is up, that team wins reward. They're playing for breakfast in bed.

I'm sure this isn't the first time Danielle's had so many nuts under her chin

The teams are divided like this: Shane/Terry/Austin, Aras/Bruce/Sally, Cirie/Courtney/Danielle. I'm personally routing for Shane/Terry/Austin, and not because of Shane, obviously. Well the challenge starts out and Aras starts putting all of his coconuts in the guys' boat, telling Danielle and the girl to do the same. I think this is a brilliant move, but Terry, who's normally extremely smart, goes for the girls' boat. The girls are no threat to him at all, I just don't get it. It becomes now a race between the Terry and Aras teams. Aras' team ends up taking it by mere moments. If Terry and his team had only listened to me and put their nuts in Aras' boat they would have won. The twist to the challenge is the winning team has to pick one person from each of the losing teams to go to Exile Island. They think about it for a minute and Aras comes up with a plan. He wants to send Austin (makes sense) and Danielle (?). She looks utterly shocked and the two of them head off to the island.

This looks like fun

With Danielle and Austin having a horrible night on Exile Island, Aras, Bruce and Sally await the arrival of the yacht to take them to their reward. It's raining miserably but Aras can't hide his excitement. I do kinda like Aras, not really sure why. I mean it's not just because he has a cute ass, it can't be. The boat finally picks them up and takes them to their beautiful breakfast in bed. Unfortunately, the producers didn't realize it'd be raining in the rainforest and the canopy bed is sitting in the middle of the beach, soaked. I guess it's nicer then sitting on the ground but rightfully so Sally comments about how pissed she was when she realized they would be all three sitting in the wet, cold bed eating. As I'm sitting here writing this I'm trying to contemplate why the hell they would give them this sorry ass reward. Yeah, they get tons of food with bread and butter, coffee and juice, but still, it's three people squished into a bed, eating during torrential downpours. I think maybe they had something else planned and it got flooded or fell through and they had to hurry up and come up with this lame ass reward. Because these poor people haven't eaten anything or had a comfortable place to sit in three weeks, once they start eating they're quite content with their surroundings.

Back at Gitanos, Terry's trying to figure out exactly what his strategy should be. He picks everyone’s brain about any chinks in the armor. While talking with Shane, he reveals that the final Casaya four will probably be him, Cirie, Aras and Bruce. Terry thinks this is good because it means Danielle and Bruce are on the outs. That's already apparent since Aras sent Danielle to Exile Island. Terry thinks if he can get Bruce and Danielle to his side they may have a fighting chance. Again, I start to think about the logic in this. Terry, Sally and Austin want to get to the top three. If they take Bruce and Danielle, they'll be four and five. So what you're really going to be offering these two is a guaranteed bump up one notch. Danielle will no longer go fifth she'll go fourth. How is this supposed to be something you'd want to do. Especially since the voted off members will be the jury, who ultimately decide your fate. I probably just ruined who's going to get voted off, but then again, maybe Danielle and Bruce aren't that quick on the uptake. Did I just say "maybe"?

Anyway, when Aras, Bruce and Sally get back from the reward all they can talk about is food. Sally even shows her stomach that's bulging out because it's so full. Okay, I understand they're probably doing that because they're happy and they want their tribemates to share in their joy, but come on, if I hadn't eaten in three weeks and some bitch started talking about all the damn food she just ate there'd be some heads rolling. Cirie feels the same way and I start to worry about Sally. Not really worry because I won't be sad when she goes, but just for the fate of La Mina.

On Exile Island poor Danielle and Austin are doing some quick bonding, huddling together in the cold rain. I wonder if her fake boobies hold heat well or get colder because they're farther away from her body. Hmph. Danielle tells us that she's glad she was able to be on the island with Austin (maybe she's not as stupid as she looks) and thinks that if this whole alliance thing doesn't work out, he can be her backup plan.

Meanwhile, Terry and Sally have gone to get water and Sally's running her mouth about whether or not Danielle or Austin will find the Immunity Idol. Terry blurts out that he has the Idol. Sally's ecstatic, thinking the game's now changed. She also thinks that this means if she or Austin get voted out, that Terry will save them. Did I miss him saying that?

It's called the "Cool Hand Luke" challenge

Everyone's finally reunited for the Immunity Challenge. This one is way too complicated to describe but I can say it's an obstacle course with four stages. Like challenges in the past each stage, only the top finishers move on. Obviously you know who I'm voting for to get Immunity, Terry. I could give a crap about anyone else except maybe Austin and Cirie but Cirie's really on the fence now. And damnit, I like Aras. It's his butt.

Go Terry! Go!

The challenge starts and the contestants start dropping off after each phase until it's just Austin, Sally and Terry. Now it's not as tense for me because any of them can win and I'd be happy, happier if it was Terry, but happy none the less. The last stage ends up being Terry and Sally and part of me thinks Terry may throw it to give Sally the Immunity. Just a very small part of me. That part would have been wrong because Terry wins.

Once back at camp Terry starts working it like a true politician. Austin's shocked when he realizes Terry has the Idol and is excited because he's confident he'll be staying, at least for a few more days. Terry goes to Bruce and says that he's pretty much gone once La Mina is gone so to survive a few more days it might be more better for him to go with them. Bruce agrees that he would rather be in cohorts with Terry but doesn't want to flip if no one else does, then he'll surely have a target on his back.

Casaya, meanwhile, is trying to figure out who to vote for. Aras wants Sally and Courtney wants Austin. They also realizes that if one of the La Mina members has the Idol and it comes into play, the person who they'll most likely vote for is Aras. Since Aras has the most votes, he's the one who will automatically leave.

Crossing over to the dark side

Terry then decides to pull out all of the stops. He approaches Danielle in the shelter, with Austin there and tells her that not only does he want her to come over to their side, but that he has the Immunity Idol, which he'll give up to her if she chooses to come. He even shows it to her. Interesting play. Danielle looks shocked that Terry has it and quite intrigued. She says she'll think about it and we don't know what'll happen. As Terry, Sally and Austin talk about the plan, Sally says that no matter what happens they're all guaranteed to stay because Terry has the Idol and will use it if one of them gets voted out.

At Tribal Council I'm pumped. This can go anyway. Forget about all the crap I said before about only making it one more rung up, who would you rather be up against in the end, a**holes or nice guys? I mean that's kinda a rhetorical question since if you're up against the nice guy and you've just stabbed your tribemates in the back they're obviously not voting for you to get the money. Damn, I just totally ruined it didn't I? I am momentarily excited again when I see the first letter Bruce writes during the vote has an "A". Yes, that means he's voting with La Mina for Aras! Wait, am I happy about that? When Jeff starts reading the names, Aras, Aras, Aras, ah man, looks like- Austin. What the hell? Austin, Austin, Austin, Austin! That bitch! She didn't vote for Aras at all. Austin's the next person voted out. Well that's okay, Terry has the Immunity Idol so he's bound to use it. Right? Terry? Terry? If you're going to do it now's the time. Um, the tribe has spoken? All this damn build up and it doesn't happen?! It's like prom night all over again.

NERDS RULE!

This is getting exciting! I mean we always knew The Race was exciting, even during the Family Edition, but now it's getting good. Even if you aren't watching it fear not, you can pick it up at any time, tune in and I promise you'll be hooked. I mean I'm not talking Jack Bauer promise, but definitely a Terry on Survivor promise.

We're still in the lovely Sicily and Tyler and BJ are the first team out of the gate. They open the clue and are instructed to drive to Catania, about 135 miles away and find an amphitheatre (yes, another one, there's lots in Italy). While they're getting into the car they remark that although they like the frat boys (Eric and Jeremy) they're pretty dumb. Wow, if that's not an on the nose statement I don't know what is. BJ comments that dumb people wind up having the best of luck. Ain't that the truth, especially if they're big boobed blondes. Hopefully, like BJ points out, the dumb luck is bound to run out.

Because of BJ and Tyler's flight last episode, they have a nearly two hour head start on Eric and Jeremy. As E&J are leaving they talk about the hippies and how the guys are nice, and they can tell they have more worldly experience then them. Yeah, but can they chug a beer in less tehn 5 seconds, probably not. Dude. They don't comment on how it's their shear dumb luck that's keeping them going, but pat themselves on the back for getting this far. The rest of the teams start trickling out now. When Joseph and Monica leave, they stop and ask for directions. Joseph comments about how nice it is to have someone stop for them that early and that it would never happen in America. No, they'd stop, then they'd rob you afterwards.

When Lake leaves he tells us what a bad mood he's in because he's sleep deprived. Oh, is that why you're an a**hole? I thought it was because you were born that way. Michelle tries to talk about how they may bicker but they move past it. All he needs to do is give her a quick slap across the face and she's back telling him everything he does is right. Dave and Lori leave and talk about how frustrated they got with each other at the end of the last leg. They say lots of "I love yous" and I start to get worried. I also get worried for last place team Ray and Yolanda because for the 100th time they stop and ask for directions. Can they please buy a map? Please? At least this time the people help them. Joseph's right, these people are nice. It is Italy. As Fran and Barry drive they obviously take the wrong way and it looks like they're clear on the other side of the island. I'm a little happy because that means MoJo and RaYo are definitely still in the game.

The dumbass fell for it

When BJ and Tyler arrive in Catania, they discover the gate they need to get into is locked until 830am. They put a note on the door with a sign up sheet saying the teams are first come first serve and that they're first. As they rest in the car Eric and Jeremy come in and nearly fall for it until they realize it's a joke. When the gates do open at 8:30 the two teams find the cluebox which tells them to go around the small property and count all the heads on the fence. Once they have the number find the groundskeeper and tell him. If they're right he'll give them they're next clue. The guys finish it easily and get their next clue. It's a Detour. This Detour they have to choose between Big Fish and Little Fish. In Big Fish each team member has to carry a 32 pound swordfish through the streets of Catania to a huge market and look for an Italian dude named Jagino who will take the fish and give them the next clue. Little Fish has the team go to the same market place and try and sell four kilos of small Triglia fish.

The two sets of guys both choose the Big Fish one and go grab the fish to carry it. It's disgusting, dribbling fish juices and blood all over the place. Probably not too different from Eric and Jeremy's nights at the frat house. Around this time MoJo makes it to the amphitheatre and run around to count the heads. Joseph gets one less then Monica but decides to trust her counting ability over his. It works out and they head off to do Big Fish. The hippies and frat boys get to the market and find Jagino to gives him the fish. Their clue tells them to drive 40 miles to Siracusa and find Ponto Umbertino. As they start out, both teams agree to follow one another but Eric and Jeremy ditch the hippies right after they leave. When they find the signs that lead to Siracusa it looks like the hippies go the wrong way. To me at least.

Amazingly, Fran and Barry make it to the amphitheatre. I don't get it, they clearly took the wrong way but arrive in the same order they left in. Confusing, editors, just confusing. They spot the fence posts and go around counting them. When they're done, Fran starts calling out for the groundskeeper. Hey, I guess there's more then one way to find him. When they get the Detour they decide to sell fish, a wise choice.

Touring around the city still are the bottom three teams, Lake and Michelle, Dave and Lori, and Ray and Yolanda. They're all stuck in traffic. Lori wants to stop for directions but Dave doesn't think it's a good idea. Apparently he knows his way around this foreign city, saw it in a dream the night before or something. Ray and Yolanda decide to park and make a run for it. Could be a good decision but knowing them it'll be a horrible one. Again, they don't get any help from the locals but Yoland points out it could be his brisk American attitude.

That's gotta hurt

MoJo have now secured their fish and are making their way through the city. Monica starts out in a great mood although she's hauling 30 pound of slimy dead fish. She's great until they get to the market and start their near futile search for Jagino. Would be okay if they weren't asking for every name but Jagino. Fran and Barry arrive around this time to sell their fish and- good holy God! Barry's taken his shirt off and he's hiding a carpet. A gray shag carpet. I guess Fran likes the bear type of man. The fish selling seems to be working out fairly well. Unlike the fish carrying which Monica is having difficulty with. I mean I gotta give it to the girl, I'd have a breakdown too. Joseph gets frustrated and is walking too far ahead of her. She starts crying and the silly Italians around her are laughing. As much as I love these two, I'm laughing too. They finally find Jagino and give him the fish. Joseph's pissed though because he thinks they asked him if he was Jagino awhile before and he said no. Not all Italians look alike. Just the ones with dark hair. Fran and Barry notice them leave and soon sell enough fish to also go. In the car to Siracusa, Monica complains a bit about the fish guts she's wearing but laughs it off, making me realize that even with the breakdown in the market, I still like her.

When Fran and Barry finally get to their car and find the Siracusa on the map, Lake and Michelle arrive. Fran hurries Barry in the car, not wanting to lend any help to Lake. Smart lady. Lake and Michelle find the clue and bicker a bit as they're counting the heads. When they go around the grounds of the amphitheatre to find the groundskeeper they run into a funny Italian man who pretends to be the groundskeeper. Lake shakes his hand and waits for the clue as the man smiles at him. He soon learns it isn't the right person and I'm waiting for some red neck comment but it never comes. Hey, Lake, why disappoint now. The two run to the swordfish guy and Michelle wonders if this can really be the right person, she doesn't want to steal anyone's fish. She's okay marrying a disgusting excuse for a man and procreating with him, but damned if she's not gonna to steal someone's fish. When they head off she says that she's used to carrying around a kid so this dead fish doesn't mean anything to her. I have to give it to her, she does pull through and they find Jagino quickly and head off.

Lake and Michelle leave the fish area and just as they're making it back to the car Ray and Yolanda show up at the amphitheatre. As Lake drives out of the city he insists he's going to hire a cab to take them out. Michelle, with the map, thinks it's a dumb idea since it's not to difficult because she HAS A MAP! He "overrules" her decision right about the time they find the sign for Siracusa. Take that! Ray and Yolanda count the heads and go do Big Fish. Dave and Lori soon arrive as well. They both finish quickly and make their way to Siracusa, Dave and Lori look to be 10 or so minutes behind them.

Finally Eric and Jeremy arrive at the Roadblock. In this Roadblock one member of the team has to get into a kayak and play kayak polo with a professional team. They'll make anything into a sport these days, although there does seem to be some skill involved. Once they make a goal they'll get their next clue. The whole thing would be harder then it ends up being if the players actually tried to play with them instead of throwing them the ball and letting them shoot. I guess none of them would make it if the "professional" players actually tried to play them. Once Jeremy gets the goal he and his boyfriend head off as the hippies are just arriving. The clue tells them to go by foot to the Pit Stop. The hippies do the task and are hot on Eric and Jeremy's tail. (insert sarcastic snort: http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/amazing_race/001901.php)

It's like he's wearing brillo pads on his shoulders

MoJo and Fran and Barry arrive at the kayak and the guys do the task. I wonder how hard it is to put sunblock on a back that hairy. Anyway, Joseph is pretty good while Barry sucks pretty bad. Around this time Eric and Jeremy get to the Pit Stop that's made extra lively by a little mariachi type band playing. They've won a cruise for two which they'll enjoy after the race. Oh yeah they will http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/amazing_race/001901.php. MoJo finishes the polo task and head to the Pit Stop and Barry's still having trouble. After much effort he finally makes it and they too leave.

I've tried to figure out what the hell that is they're wearing but can't. The microphone and battery are my first and only guess

Lake and Michelle arrive and she's pretty apprehensive that she can do it. I'm wondering why he pushes her then I realized later (because I think about this show all of the time) that he's done most or all of the other ones. Since lovely Chip and Kim, they've made the rule that they have to split the tasks evenly. Michelle does it and although she's not getting the shot, she's doing a fairly decent job, even with Lake yelling at her. And can we find out why the hell he's running around without a shirt on? I think the professionals feel sorry for her because they just basically sit there and feed her the balls until she gets one. They get the clue and Lake seems oddly excited to be headed to the Pit Stop. I think he has a crush on Phil, but really, who doesn't...

Especially MoJo who come up on Phil as he's doing a little jig with the band. Phil's from New Zealand, the land of Russell Crowe and his band, you'd think he'd have rhythm, but he doesn't. Cute moment though. Fran and Barry and Lake and Michelle arrive soon after that, or so it looks from fancy editing. Ray and Yoland find the Roadblock and Ray takes it on. I get a bit worried when his kayak flips over because it doesn't look like it's easy to get back into, but he's a superstar and quickly gets in and finishes it just about the time Dave and Lori, supposedly, gets there. Of course since Ray and Yolanda are plagued by not having any sense of direction they're wondering around trying to find Phil. Hey, here's a hint, listen for the music and crowd of people. Dave and Lori finish and start looking for Phil as well. No surprise though it's Ray and Yolanda who show up first. All of the sudden I have the realization that this could very well be a non-elimination round. My roommate quickly points out that the producers would be bastards to make this leg non-elimination because they all smell like fish and would be forced to give up all of their possessions accept the clothes they're wearing. She's right, it's an elimination round and Dave and Lori are out. I'm mildly upset, but not really.

HA HA SIKE! I'M NOT DUMB

So we're just about a third of the way done the season sop it's twist time! Remember it's about this time we realized Nina was a mole, that George Mason, dying from radiation poison piloted the nuclear weapon into the dessert and blew up, when Jack killed Chappelle and when Air Force One was finally blown to bits. The major threat is over, now it's time for the third and final chapter of the season. Always something good, but a little bit sad to know that in a few short weeks we won't see our dear sweet Jack Bauer for nearly eight months.

Bad ass!

When we last saw Jack he was being blown up at the gas distribution center. Never fear, like the true phoenix he is he rises from the ashes, much to everyone's relief. He's carrying Bierko and has the medics take him back to CTU. Luckily for them the nerve gas has been destroyed thanks to Jack and everyone is safe. Or are they? I mean they are, from the nerve gas, but there's still eight or so hours left so something else has to go down.

Jack gives Bill a call on his cell phone and they talk about what's going on. Jack's sure Henderson wasn't the main person behind everything's that happened. From talking to him earlier he can tell someone else is pulling the strings, someone else much higher in authority. Jack admits to Bill that he's scared. Wow, this must be big, nothing scares Jack, except maybe this... http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4045/1881/320/ugly.0.jpg

Karen, meanwhile, is talking to the Vice President who wants to know how the CTU takeover is going. Karen admits that she hasn't done it yet since they were going to wait until Henderson was caught. Gardner doesn't want to wait any longer and instructs Karen to go ahead with the takeover. After she hangs up she admits to Miles that she's worried how Bill will take all of this, seeing that it was CTU who saved everyone's asses today. Miles, ever the weasel, suggests they get Audrey to sign a document stating that Bill has mismanaged the crisis and that Homeland Security has a bigger wiener. I don't know why they think this will work because Audrey's obviously loyal to CTU. Or is she? Of course she is! Down in the pit Bill confides in Audrey that Homeland Security is gonna go fire everyone and absorb CTU. He doesn't understand why Gardner wants this to happen. Hmph, I wonder why! Pretty soon people from Homeland Security start showing up and Karen makes an announcement to everyone about what's going on. Basically they're all fired and the Homeland Security team is now taking their place. This is really fraked up.

Meanwhile, Henderson's hold up at a coal plant. What's up with the natural resource references the past two shows? I'm sure it's just coincidental, but interesting none the less. The commando who's been chasing Wayne informs Henderson that Wayne got away.

Speak of the devil, Aaron pulls into the Presidential compound and opens the trunk, revealing Wayne. Looks like the only thing he hurt was his hand. He tells Aaron that Evelyn, Martha's aide, was President Palmer's source within the White House. Wayne thinks the President was killed because of something Evelyn passed to him. In the compound Evelyn is calling it a day. She says goodbye to the First Lady and starts to leave. Outside the room she's stopped by Aaron and Wayne. Wayne says that he traced emails David got and found they led to her. She tries to deny it but then admits that it was her, that she has proof of who was behind the assassination and everything that's been going on today but she can't give them the name. When pushed, they find out that her daughter's being held by these people who say they're going to kill her unless Evelyn gives them the evidence she has. She and Wayne make a deal that if she gets her daughter back, she'll give him the evidence. Wayne calls Jack and tells him about what they've found out. Jack's positive it's Henderson behind this. He tells Wayne to meet him and at barn, with Evelyn. Wayne gets Evelyn to leave the retreat alone, in case she's being watched.

At CTU, Miles has shown Audrey the statement which implicates Bill in everything that went wrong. She's no dummy and refuses to sign the paper. He claims she's going to be blamed a bit too if she doesn't sign it since she's DOD. She's still not having it and refuses to sign. After she walks out Jack calls her on her cell and updates her on what's going on with Evelyn and Wayne. He needs satellite surveillance on the location Henderson wants to meet Evelyn at. When Audrey tells him about Gardner having Homeland Security take over, he thinks Garnder may be a part of the conspiracy. Whatever's going on with CTU, he needs the satellite.

Audrey realizes what she has to do and goes to Miles and Karen. She agrees to sign the stupid paper saying the reason is because she wants to protect DOD and her father. Before she signs it though she says her only request is Chloe be kept on and assigned to her. They agree to her terms and Audrey signs it.

As Henderson holds Evelyn's daughter hostage, Wayne tells Aaron to stay at the compound to not arouse suspicion. Wouldn't you know it, as they're talking Gardner rounds the corner. Wayne quickly hides his bandaged hand from view. Aaron lies to him and says Wayne's there to give him a memento President Palmer wanted him to have, since they were so close. Wayne pulls the sympathy card and says he has to take off because they're flying his brother's body back to Washington. Gardner gives him his condolences and it seems fake.

Back at CTU, Chloe's still pissed, as am I, that Homeland Security's fired everyone and is taking over. Miles tells Chloe, with Bill standing there, that she's saved though, that Audrey wants her to stay on and help her out. The little shite also lets it out that Audrey signed a paper saying that all of this was Bill's fault. Even though Chloe doesn't believe this, Audrey walks up and confirms it. Chloe looks like she wants to rip the bitch's eyes out.

I'd be scared of that forehead too

Driving to where they're meeting Jack, Evelyn tells Wayne that the person who's bribing her said he'd know if she told anyone about the evidence. This further convinces Wayne that someone at the compound is behind this. Evelyn feels responsible for Palmer's death, since she was giving him information that eventually led to his death. When her phone rings Wayne patches Jack in and Evelyn answers it. It's Henderson who questions her on why Wayne was at the compound. She plays dumb and tells him she didn't see him. He believes her and puts her daughter on the line to prove she's still alive. Henderson gives her the address of the coal plant.

After the call Jack calls Audrey and tells her where the drop is going down. Audrey goes to Chloe for help, but she's still mad thinking she gave up Bill to Homeland Security. Audrey quickly explains that she had to sign it and tells her that Jack needs their help.

Wayne and Evelyn pull up to the barn to meet Jack. Once inside a car pulls up and when the person doesn't immediately come into the barn Wayne's spooked. Luckily, it's only Jack who comes around back to meet up with them. Jack promises they'll get her daughter back but Evelyn doesn't give up any helpful information about the conspiracy. Jack calls Chloe and she's uploaded the satellite images to his PDA. There are about ten guys watching the place where Henderson is. Jack doesn't want Wayne to go since his family needs him. Wayne insists, since these are the people who killed his brother. Plus, he was in the Marines. Jack says that going to Canada for a stint doesn't really count, that he didn't actually kill anyone before. Wayne's confident he'll be okay.

Gardner blabs to Logan that Wayne was there earlier to see Aaron. Gardner wonders why Wayne would drive all the way out there and not say hello. Logan buys the excuse that Aaron and David were close and that's why he drove all the way out there. He also thinks maybe Wayne didn't want to see him because of the whole fiasco last year, with Palmer saving his ass and Logan not being as appreciative as most people in the situation. He didn't say all that, but that's what I was thinking.

With Jack, Evelyn has just dropped him and Wayne off outside of the plant. He assures her that they'll get her daughter back, but that she has to do what they've planned since Henderson's just going to kill both of them anyway once he gets what he wants. When Evelyn pulls off Chloe gives Jack the route to the plant. Jack takes out two of the men on the perimeter. Wayne has to take out a sniper and Chloe guides him to the man. He hesitates a minute but then shoots the guy. Jack runs up to the roof and takes out a man by slitting his throat. Bad ass! When Henderson radios the now dead man Jack does something fancy to the walkie to make his answered unclear so Henderson doesn't recognize his voice.

When Evelyn pulls up to the site Henderson calls her and tells her to open all of the doors and trunk to make sure no one is in there with her. I was sure someone was going to be hiding out, but no such luck. Jack has the sniper rifle and watches as Henderson approaches the car with Evelyn's daughter. As Henderson lets the little girl go to her mother he asks for the evidence. Evelyn just ducks and Jack starts shooting the guys around Henderson. Why he doesn't take out that mofo first I'm really not sure. Wayne starts taking out some guys too and in the shooting Evelyn's been shot in the leg. Henderson takes off in his car and Wayne and Jack try to shoot him while he gets away but don't hit him. Jack quickly calls Chloe and wants her to reposition the satellite, unfortunately she can't. Jack goes to Evelyn who's leg isn't seriously injured and demands she tell him who's involved. She tells him that the Vice President had nothing to do with this.

In the car with Henderson he calls the mole on the phone and explains about Jack showing up. He tells the person that Jack and Wayne will be killed before they get the evidence. When the person he's talking to comes into the light its none other then President Logan. Scandalous!