NO REASON

I'm working on my Prison Break recap and came upon this picture. Thought I'd share it.

DIRTY SEXY MONEY (my normal Saturday night)

So I didn't watch this pilot early, but everybody I know said it was good. So I went to the ABC website today and streamed it. Both the pilot and last night's episode. I gotta tell you, this show is good. THIS is how you make a show that has a little intrigue, naughtiness, trannies, and spoiled rich kids. Take that Gossip Girl, and shove it up your asses. Sorry, that show offends me with it's stupidity.

The show centers around an attorney, the lovely and talented Mr. Peter Krause, who's father worked his entire life for the filthy rich Darling family. When his father dies suddenly in a mysterious plane crash, Nick decides to take his father's place as lawyer, confidante and protector, especially to Daddy Darling, Tripp, played by the love of my life's real life father, Donald Sutherland. One of these people may have killed his father, and finding out the truth is his number one priority. Of course, the $10 million a year charity donation Nick gets to divvy out to the causes he used to put time into his a nice bonus. He won't become his father, who, by the way, had a 40 year affair with matriarch Letitia (snort) Darling. Anybody else think maybe Nick has a sibling in the family?



Can we talk about what a beautiful tranny this is?

Nick has to babysit the younger Darling kids, including the not nearly as sexy as he used to be, looking a lot like Alec, Billy Baldwin, who being pushed by his father to run for the Senate, even though he's afraid his continual affairs with transgendered men will come to light. But, like his siblings, there's something sweetly endearing about him. Yeah, he's having an affair, with a man (sorta) but she really loves him and they have one of the more tender moments in the second episode.


The one problem I had with the first episode and most of the second was the one son, Brian, who I thought was a priest the whole time, who ends up having a young son that he knows about and refuses to take any responsibility for. Come to find out he's just a pastor, or something, because he has a wife and kids. So much better if he'd been a priest, but whatever. He's so miserable and such and asshole, for no real reason other then he's just a dick. Towards the end of the second episode though he starts to redeem himself.


A set of twins, one a would-be actress whose father pays her way through plays and who finally, with a good speech from Nick, decides to go her own way. Her twin brother, whom she seems very close to, is a drifter as well, but seemingly with a heart. He's wining and dining a girl behind his sister's back, but he feels bad about it. Let me also note that the actor who plays the twin brother was Famke Jensen's doomed son on Nip/Tuck forever ago. He was so good in that.





The second oldest sister is a thrice divorcee who is still in love with Nick, her first love, and lover, who she constantly tries to get, even though she has a fiancee and Nick is happily married. She's gonna get annoying, but maybe not. She knows who she is. She's a woman who can't find love because she's still in love with the one guy who treated her right. So she drinks and says inappropriate, yet funny, things.


And Nick's wife is a saint, love her, and love that they went against the norm and wrote her not to be the nag who annoys her husband into an affair. Even though he spent his whole life not wanting to because his father, she supports his decision, being his sounding board, and playing devil's advocate. Not to say she's a push over, but she's not your stereotypical TV wife. She's Jim from Ghost Whisperer. They have a daughter, played by Elle Fanning, sister to Dakota and his daughter in the Sci Fi mini-series The Lost Room. Oh, but I just found out that she's only in the pilot. That sucks, she's such a cutie.


What I like about this show, unlike that other tumor that is called Gossip Girl, is these people don't fit the stereotypes, at least not in the conventional spoiled brats sorta way. Are they spoiled, yeah of course they are, they're ridiculously rich, but there's something intriguing and compelling about them that I just want to watch. And as nutty as they are, I find myself actually caring about them.


Go to ABC and stream the first two episodes, you won't be let down.

DESPERATELY DESPERATE AND DUMB

So, I gave up on Desperate Housewives last year and then I accidently caught the season finale, and how great was that? Edie hung herself, Susan and Mike got married, Gabby got married and then seemingly cheated on her new husband with Carlos on the same day, Bree was pretending to be pregnant because her slutty daughter was knocked up by Edie's nephew, and Lynette got cancer. Whew, a lot going on in one show. So I committed myself to it again. I thought I may have been too hard on it. I thought maybe the writers finally turned the corner and Susan would stop being all weird, especially about Mike, that Edie would stop being such a horrible bitch (because she was hopefully dead), Lynette would stop being so selfish and and Carlos and Gabby would be back together.

Imagine my surprise when the season premiered last night and NONE of that happened. Now I'm not saying that characters should change who they are, but at some point, you can't keep having Susan be a ditzy dumb ass. I mean, sometimes it's fun, and cute, but when she's whining to her husband, MIKE, of one month about him not being happy and she thinks she's going through menopause and freaks out some more, I just don't know if I can take it. Sometimes this plays out in a cute way, like on The Closer when Brenda thought she was going through menopause. Acted out and written in a fun, cute way to make us not HATE Brenda.

So we start off the show where we left off, with Edie about to dangle from the rafters. Mary Alice tells us how Edie has this all planned, and as Edie pushes herself off the chair, we see that she has amazing upper body strength and is actually holding herself up, with the noose tied, ready for when Carlos to come home. In fact, this is all a plan by Edie to keep Carlos around. So Carlos finally comes home and as he's walking up the stairs, she lets go. Now, I don't know if this is the same with hanging yourself with a silk scarf, but everyone knows that when a convict dies from hanging, it's his broken neck that does him in, not the lack of air. I guess nobody told this to the writers. Unfortunately (fortunately) Carlos gets stopped before he can make it upstairs and Edie freaks out for a few minutes until Carlos finally realizes she's up there and dying. He saves her and Mary Alice tells us that if he would have known what she'd do, he'd have let her hang. Oh, so Edie's going to try and manipulate someone through their emotions to get what she wants. That's new.

The girls, minus Gabby, show up at the hospital in what I guess is support for Edie, even though no one really likes her. They think about Gabby and wonder if they should call her, since it is her wedding night, and Carlos runs off to do just that. Gabby's dressed with Victor banging on the door asking her to come out and consummate their relationship and she's waiting for Carlos, who had promised that they'd run off together. Oh yeah, at the end of last season she overheard Victor and his father talking about Gabby and how she's great for the Latino vote and how she'll make a good trophy wife. Luckily Gabby didn't confront him with her feelings and plans to run away with Carlos but he's decided he'd stay with Edie since she obviously needs him. Gag me. No pun intended.

We then flash to a month later, Bree's as big as a house and Susan's as annoying as ever, trying to chide Mike into divorcing her by whining about him not being happy. I know what would make him happy, you shutting the frak up. He tries to convince her that he is happy and I remember just how damn cute Mike is.

Not everyone over at Bree's is happy she's still pretending to be pregnant. Andrew points out that this isn't the 50s anymore and Bree says that he's right, but Danielle's reputation is already messed up and having a baby will send it completely down the drain. True dat.

Suddenly, new neighbors arrive and Susan's happy it's her old friend Catherine, played by the wonderful Dana Delaney. I was doing my hair while this part was on, so I'm not exactly sure what her deal is, but I thinks he used to live on Wisteria Lane, although Susan seems to be the only one who remembers her. Catherine has a new hot husband, Adam, who's played by Firefly hottie, Nathan Fillion. She also has a daughter, Dylan, who doesn't seem to remember living on Wisteria Lane or being best friends with Julie. This theme runs through the episode, and it starts to piss me off because if this girl isn't really this woman's daughter, you'd think Catherine would brief her on who these people were, what she should say or not say, and I would be pissed at my mom for not warning me that all these people are going to know me. At first I thought maybe she has amnesia or something, but it seems something more sinister is going on. Big surprise, someone on Wisteria Lane is lying about her child being hers. Real original writers.

Lynette's not doing too well and is wearing a wig. At one of her kid's plays she's accosted by a bitchy mom who reads her the riot act for not volunteering at the school. Lynette's mother tries to convince her to "come out" and tell people about the cancer, but she just won't, she doesn't want to be the victim. So instead, at the end of the play she barfs in a purse she think is her mother's, but it turns out to be the bitchy mom's. Hijinx ensue!

Susan decides to head to the gyno because she's having irregular periods. Can this show please grow a pair. I mean, I'm a woman and even I'm tired of all the lady vajayjay problems on here. Her normal doctor isn't in so the new doctor is going to examine her. It's none other then Adam, her old friend's husband. Wow, this is awkward, especially when he puts his head between her legs and keeps telling her to relax. Things I don't want to think about, in random order: 1. Nathan Fillions face between Teri Hatcher's legs 2. Teri Hatcher's legs 3. Susan's tight vajayjay 4. Vajayjay. He tells her that he thinks she may be going through menopause, which of course leads to a paranoid tantrum of growing old. Bitch, have you looked in the mirror?

Catherine decides to have a party to welcome herself to the neighborhood and has a conversation with Mrs. McCluskey who luckily tells us, the audience, in an awkward confrontation that Catherine left in a hurry, just packed up one night and got out of there. Seems to be a theme. Catherine just plays it off as nothing, but we know there's something there. Edie comes back after spending a month (????) in a clinic for trying to hang herself and Carlos is attentive. When the ladies talk to Edie she tells them about her neck hurtng. It's been a month, right? She also thanks them for the welcome home party. I really hate this bitch. She tells them that she and Carlos have been talking about marriage which sends Gabby off to confront him. She thought they were getting back together. I think not hearing from him for month would have been a clue. They make out a bit, but he tells her they can't be together yet because Edie's still fragile and he's still delusional that everything that comes out of this ho's mouth is the truth. Gabby's pissed and runs off.

Bree and Orson are talking and in the middle of their conversation, something completely unpredictable happens at the bbq, Bree gets stabbed in the stomach with a bbq fork. Who would have thought? Oh yeah, me four minutes before. One of the neighbors, who's name I don't remember, old loud lady, sees this and freaks out. They try to calm her down but she brings Adam over and he wants to examine Bree. She and Orson pretend it was a joke and run off. Orson then confronts her and says he can't deal with this anymore, that he wants to just tell the truth. Bree admits that it's not only Danielle's reputation she wants to protect, that she can't let Danielle raise the baby because she's an awful person, and she's to blame for that. She thinks with this baby she'll have a chance to make up for it. Orson agrees.

Look how big baby Penny has FINALLY gotten!

In the meantime, Susan's freaking out again over getting old, but finally admits to Mike what's going on and he tells her that he loves her. She thinks that not having kids with him is a deal breaker, since he wants to have them. He tells her not to worry, that although he would like to have kids, he wants to be with her. Again, he's the hotness.

Still at the bbq the bitchy mother confronts Lynette again about not taking care of some school business. Lynette finally whips off her wig and is like, "bitch I have cancer". That shuts her up, but then the girls see her without the wig and are stunned. When they all sit down Lynette explains that she didn't want her friends looking at her with pity in their eyes, but they convince her that they're there for her, which is a nice moment. Then that moment is ruined by Lynette making the women promise that they will never lie to each other again. You know, unless you're going through menopause, sleeping with your ex husband while you're married, or pretending to be pregnant so your slut ass daughter can give birth to a bastard child.

Later, as Susan is working in her house, Adam shows up and says he feels like an idiot. She isn't going through menopause after all, she's pregnant. Mike overhears and they're both very happy, and this time she believes him.

Gabby finally decides to sit down with Victor and they talk about their relationship. She says she wants to go away and try to reconnect. He thinks this is a great idea, and because, you know, he's the mayor of the town, he can't go for awhile. This frustrates Gabby because she's used to being number one.

At Carlos', i.e., Edie's, he tells her he's going over to the Scavo's. He's actually going to get it on with Gabby. He tells Edie that if she wants this relationship to work, she has to give him space. Finally. I guess it's more then we'll get for awhile. When he gets home he sleeps on the couch. Edie comes downstairs the next morning and confesses to him that she knows he has an offshore account, that has 10 million dollars in it, but say she won't say anything, since she knows he won't hurt her. Did I already say how much I hate this bitch?

Julie finally has some alone time with her old friend Dylan. Dylan tells her that she doesn't remember anything about living in the neighborhood, and that her oldest memory is of a man who comes into her room. Julie thinks this is creepy and Dylan agrees. Later, when Susan sees Julie, before she gets the chance to tell her about being pregnant, Julie tells her that she doesn't think Dylan is the girl she grew up with. Huh, you don't say.

Adam finds Catherine upstairs in their house staring out the window. Adam wonders if this is the room and Catherine says it is. She says that Dylan wants to move up there and Adam says she doesn't have the same memory of the place. Catherine agrees but says that she's never going to stay in that room. They leave and Adam locks the door behind them. Creepy.

SOMETIMES I'M WRONG- AGAIN

Another show I sorta blasted here was Bionic Woman. I decided to rewatch the pilot that aired since they reworked it a bit, getting rid of the boring and fairly unattractive sister. I'm still NOT a fan of the actress that plays Jamie Sommers, I don't think she's a good actress or that attractive. But, I have to say, watching it on TV this last week gave me a new energy and excitement for it. I'm curious to see where it's going to go, and I love kick ass women, so I want to give it a chance, even just for that reason. So, despite my earlier attempts to sway you away from the show, I say give it a chance. And don't forget, the lovely Katee "Starbuck" Sakoff from Battlestar Galactica is a supporting bad girl.

I TAKE IT BACK

In a post last week, at least I think it was last week, I told you about the upcoming pilots and which ones I thought were good. Wait, before I start with that, there's something you should know about pilots. Pilots are the half hour or hour shows the networks look at and decide if they want to air the show. If they do want to air it, they'll either air it as it is, or they'll decide to rework it. That happened with Bionic Woman. The version I saw the sister was different, she was less cute and deaf. Big difference, but it didn't really make a huge difference in the show itself. In the Grey's spinoff, Private Practice, the woman who plays her best friend was recast, which is bizarre since we already saw the pilot with the original actress.

So, I heard that the pilot of Moonlight, was a lot different then what I saw, which was pretty bad. I decided to give it another try since the guy who plays the lead is hot. I'm so glad I did. They completely reworked the pilot, shot all new material and somehow made the lead hotter. I'm not saying this is 24 or even Prison Break, but it's compelling and did I mention the lead is hot? Check it out, it comes on CBS on Friday and then should repeat on Saturdays.