CLEAN UP, AISLE 3!

So, I know every week I bag on this show. I can't stand some of the main characters and I think the stories are just ridiculous. But I have to give it to the show last week, it rocked! I hope this is a sign of things to come because all of the stories were interesting, and funny and I didn't get too annoyed with Lynette for manipulating the situation.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth

Gabrielle and Carlos are on the hunt for a baby. Since Gabby's baby machine is on the fritz and Carlos is a criminal, they're going to have to buy one from some sad woman. The woman their lawyer brings in is so damn ugly. She looks like one of Cinderella's ugly step-sisters, warts and all. Gabby's not having it. Since she and Carlos are so attractive, and they are, they don't want to have an ugly baby. I can't say I don't agree with this logic but it is very superficial. What else do we expect from Gabby. I mean this woman is really damn ugly. Uglier than this... http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4045/1881/1600/holyshit.jpg Their lawyer gives them a stack of potential mothers but they're all fairly bow wow too. Cue gorgeous pregnant woman walking in. Apparently she's a stripper who likes giving her clients a full treatment. She's not really sure who the father of her child is. I mean, it could be anyone because she's such a slut. Gabby loves it. I mean, not the not knowing who the father of her baby is because she's a slutty stripper, just the part about her being hot.

They meet her and ultimately it's her decision whether or not she wants to give the baby to Carlos and Gabby. While they're sitting there she looks down and sees the big honkin' rock on Gabby's finger. You can pretty much hear the "Cha Ching" in her brain go off. When they get home later, the lawyer calls and says that she doesn't want to give Carlos and Gabby the baby because she's a racist ho and doesn't like Mexicans, even rich, beautiful ones who could give her baby everything. Gabby doesn't take no for an answer so she heads down to the strip club to confront her, plus she has a show at 5 and 8. After one small plea to change her mind the girl eyes Gabby's diamond necklace and says that they could possibly work something out. Since Gabby's a money grubbing ho too, she knows exactly what the woman is talking about and hands her the necklace. The girl doesn't want the lawyer involved in this, she wants them to buy the baby the old fashioned illegal way. Gabby agrees and when she leaves, the woman's approached by a young man who's clearly the father of the baby and seems happier than ever that he's going to be a father. The story seems to be a bit similar to the Mary-Alice/Dierdre/Mike story, but I'll go with it for now. Could be interesting.

It's been awhile since we've seen the Applewhites. Matthew's getting a little stir crazy because Betty won't let him out of the house to get a job. Seems to me he's out of the house a lot, like when he's hooking up with Danielle Van de Kamp. In fact, it's her birthday soon and he wants to get her something nice, like jewelry, and asks his mother for fifty dollars. Not sure where he's going to buy this jewelry, must be a sale at Target. Betty doesn't want him to get her anything and he goes crazy yelling that he doesn't want to be stuck in the house much more, because they should give Caleb up. If they do that he'll be able to get real help, that he hasn't gotten any better. Betty's not hearing that but before she can go all ABW, Caleb comes downstairs. Betty mentions that everything's okay, and that she was just giving Matthew some money for Danielle's birthday, twenty bucks. Great, Walmart it is. This gives Caleb an idea, he wants to give her something as well. Similar to what he gave that other girl in Chicago. Later, when Danielle comes home, Caleb's waiting for her in her room. This guy should be a locksmith or something. He tries to give her a gift but she's a total bitch. She calls him a freak and shouts at him to leave. He does, and I'm actually surprised she went all bitch on us. I mean she hasn't always been nice but you would think she would be so mean to the brother of her boyfriend.

That's just nasty

With Lynette, she's happy because she's going to hire a new woman to pick up some of the slack around the office. I guess Tom's completely useless after all. The woman tells Lynette that her other office gets offended when she nurses her son. Lynette completely understands. And to seal the deal with the woman, she shows her the day car center. Of course their nice visit is interrupted by the little hell spawns Lynette calls her children. The woman doesn't let that stop her and agrees to the job. Later, the woman's nanny has brought the child to work, for a feeding. Lynette's surprised when she sees a five year old boy. She even looks through the woman's blinds to make sure she's seeing that right, a five year old nursing. Ed and a few other employees come along and see it as well. They're all disgusted, and dude, so am I. If a child can unbutton your shirt, he doesn't need to be breast feeding. Seriously.

In a group meeting, Ed and the others want Lynette to tell the woman to stop. Being that Lynette is the mother of three little bastards, handling this woman shouldn't be a problem. She tries to talk to the woman but she's flabbergasted that a woman who has children like that can actually pass judgment. She threatens Lynette that even if she did try to make her to stop, she'd call her attorneys. Later, Lynette sees the little boy wandering around. Since his mother's in a meeting she starts walking him back to the day care. Talk about getting your kid snatched. Anyone could come in and snatch those kids at day care if they let them wander around like that. The little boy notices the chocolate milk she's drinking and a light bulb appears above Lynette's head. She takes the boy in a corner and lets him try some of the milk. He gulps it down. Lynette's plan works because the mom comes crying to her that the little boy won't take her milk anymore. Haha, once you go chocolate you don't go back. Okay, so that doesn't sound as sexy, but you know what I mean.

At the hospital, Dr. Ron's been avoiding Susan like the plague, which is odd, since he's her doctor, but I'll just go with it. When she's about to leave he finally comes in. He asks who Mike is, since she said in the operating room that she loved him. Susan decides that honestly isn't the best policy, and lies, telling him that she doesn't know a Mike. Everyone knows a Mike, I know about five myself. Dr. Ron stupidly believes her, but there's still this business about her being married. She explains to him that it was just for insurance purposes and he's upset that she committed fraud. Well it was either that or die from a wandering spleen.

Oh that Susan

To show him that there's nothing between her and Karl, she invites Dr. Ron over for dinner, just the three of them. Her boyfriend and her husband. How nice. They actually have a really good time, until jealousy starts rearing it's ugly head. We know Karl still loves Susan, not sure why, but he does. And earlier Susan told him not to mention Mike, in fear of losing Dr. Ron for good. Since Karl's into being passive aggressive, while cleaning up dinner, he loosens up the one of the pipes underneath Susan's sink. When Dr. Ron comes in he notices the water on the floor and opens the sink doors. He and Karl are scrambling and Karl tells him to hurry across the street to the plumber, named Delfino. Dr. Ron runs across the street. When Susan comes in she wonders what's going on she realizes that Karl sent Dr. Ron to Mike's. Karl pretends he didn't remember but it's bull, he does, and he's liking this. Susan tries her best to get out of the house and across the street.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ron knocks on Mike's door and explains the situation across the street, calling Mike "Mr. Delfino". Of course Mike says, "Oh, you can call me Mike". This is what Oprah would call an "A-Ha" moment. Susan gets to the curb and falls out of wheelchair, into the street. Dr. Ron rushes to her and in helping her up, appears to be pushing her from Mike's point of view. Mike flips out and runs to help her, almost getting into a fist fight with Ron. Karl watches all of this with a smile on his face. Dr. Ron hurries off, never wanting to see or talk to Susan again. Later, Mike comes to check on Susan and she says that Dr. Ron isn't returning her calls. Well der, he finds out you're married and in love with another man, not your husband. As soon as it looks like they're going to give into their mutual love for each other, Dr. Ron amazingly calls.

Over with Bree, she's in her AA meeting, faking her way through. Since she doesn't believe she has a problem she's spending most of her time cleaning up the crumbs from the snack table. The other member standing there, who's played by the wonderfully exciting and talented Lee Tergesen, and Bree start talking. She confesses to him that she doesn't have a problem and is only there because she's raised an a**hole for a son. The guy doesn't exactly buy this story and gives her his card, telling her to call him if she ever needs him. Like if she's in the gutter somewhere passed out and needs a ride. Nice. They're cute together, he's a roughneck, and that's exactly what she needs. Enough with these prim and proper sissy boys, she needs a man that's gonna bend her over and- Oh damn, I'm having flashbacks to his OZ days.

At home, Bree serves tea and tea sandwiches to Andrew's lawyer up in Andrew's room. They would have met at the guy's office but Bree has him on strict lock down. But ever the hostess she puts on a good show. After she leaves his lawyer tells Andrew that this is going to be hard going, that appearances are everything and Bree's pretty good at putting hers on. That's until the next day. Bree's having wine at a department store. Where the hell does she shop? I wanna shop drunk. It's Vegas style shopping, yes! Bree sees Andrew there with his boyfriend Justin and freaks out. Not just because he's grounded, but because the little bastards is using her credit card. She explains that this isn't going to look good in court. He counters that neither will his claims of her sexually abusing him. Damn. Of course she never touched him, but being the stand up guy he is, he's going to blackmail her into giving him what she wants. With this she feels defeated. She goes back over to the bar and orders another glass of wine. She instructs the waiter to leave the bottle there.

Reminds me of college

Ah, nothing like a good nap after a bottle of wine. Snuggled into the couch, in bed, or on the floor of the dressing room in the department store, all feels nice. Bree wakes up in the dark store in a beautiful gown, in the middle of the night. Not really sure why the clerks didn't check for people in the dressing rooms, but I'll go with it. Of course, when she realizes where she is she freaks out and starts running down the empty and dark aisles. The gates down and Bree thinks she can bend it enough to get out. Even though the door's locked. She gets herself far enough in it that she gets caught. Stuck between a rock and department store. Luckily she has her purse with her and calls her AA buddy. He brings a guard and they break her out, but not before the guard snaps a picture with his camera phone. Damn camera phones. Once free, Bree and the AA guy sit in his car and he wonders if she still thinks she doesn't have a problem. I think she's starting to see the light.

WALK THIS WAY

Holy sh*t this is scary


Ouch. That's what I was thinking during the end of this show. Bitches can't walk was the other thing I was thinking. This episode was all about walking, easy, right? No, it's not, and the women needed Miss J to show them. If you need a man to teach you how to walk then things just aren't right. But I love Miss J and her honesty, so I'm excited to see some bitches fall.

I know models don't always look pretty without make-up but damn Gina

First though, after elimination and Wendy's exit, everyone's not surprised to see Jade in the bottom two. I'm not either, especially because she's an ugly bitch. This does give her somewhat of a wakeup call that maybe she should get on top of her game and really try to work the next challenges. Here's hopin' she falls. Ha, I'm evil. Gina, who feels extremely vulnerable, and she should because she sucks, gets advice from Danielle. Then she starts following her around the house like a little dog. I know the girl is hurt and with Jade's constant annoyances, needs her mommy, but there's really no reason to follow Danielle around like a Chow Chow.

So the girls finally get to show Miss J how they walk. Personally, I like the tried and true method, one foot after the other, but some girls can't even do that. Most of them walk like they're going to the bank, and some of them try to put a flare on it and just looks dumb. The challenge is made a bit harder, when the girls have to wear clothes. Can you believe that, trying to trip them up aren't you Tyra? Making them where clothes when they walk down the runway. What the hell? Granted, some of them are crazy shapes and flowing, and because of this nasty trick by Tyra, some of the girls do stumble, like Kari, the Fembot, who doesn't just trip once, but twice. The best though is Danielle, who I really like because she's not fake, and she takes great pictures. Anyway, she has on a dress that splits up both sides, which looks like it would be hard to walk in anyway. Well it is, she steps on part of it and nearly falls off the runway. I love the girl, but this was hilarious.

That night at the house most girls are bummed they did so awful walking in front of Miss J. Danielle talks a little about her mother, who has arthritis and she takes care of. Kari calls her family and tells them how hard it is being on television, living in a house with pools and jacuzzis and hanging out with Jay Manual, Miss J and Tyra Banks. I feel for her. Really, I do. Later, they get Tyra Mail which just has some long ass word that I don't remember. Onomatopoeia, something like that. Being models, the girls decide that this means they're going to Spain. Good guess, but no. Furonda says something funny and I remember she's there.

U-G-L-Y

The next day they go to Smashbox Studios and meet some fashion designer guy who I don't know. Not that I know many, my fashion knowledge is limited to Valentino and one or two others. I know the reason I don't recognize this designer, because the clothes are ugly. Who would wear this crap? They look like prostitutes from 1800s England. Oh and we find out what that word was the girls were trying to guess the night before. It means big ass cockroach in Lithuanian. For some unknown reason each girl has to walk down the runway with a cockroach on a leash. This makes absolutely no sense to me, but hey, in the fashion world, nothing makes too much sense.

Most of the girls hate the idea of walking down the runway with this nasty ass cockroach, but they gut it out. All except Gina. She freaks the hell out. It doesn't help that Jade's playing like she's the baddest bitch and loves the damn cockroach, I wonder why. She even goes up to Gina and tries to make her kiss it. She's such a bully. The designer has to literally push Gina onto the runway. Not sure if that's the best impression to leave on someone. In the end it's Jade who wins because she kissed the damn cockroach. Why am I not surprised? The reward is being able to take four people to a fashion show and get VIP treatment. She chooses Nnenna, Mollie Sue, Danielle and Leslie to go with her and they get front row at some no name's fashion show. Whoopi.

Thay night Jade calls everyone in the free world to tell them how great she's doing. She tells her father that her confidence is being confused with arrogance. I don't think there's any confusion. On the other end of the house Gina is whining about how poorly she did. Does she have some sort of deviated septum or something? Her voice is all through her nose.

Gorgeous!

When they get to the studio the next day, Jay Manuel tells them that all good models need to know how to fall gracefully. You know, since most models show up drunk to work and fall down so often. Each girl will dress up like a fairytale and will be falling onto a pillow top bed of some sort. Because like all good fairytales, the woman has to fall and be rescued. Sorry, Women's Studies 101 rears its ugly head. It's a fairly simple task, although falling onto pillows and having my picture taken does seem like a hard life. Danielle does really well, as does Jade (damnit!). Gina of course sucks, and surprisingly, so does Fembot. Everyone think it's a shoe in that Gina's going home because she's so stupid and doesn't take great pictures. Oh and she trips on the runway and has to be pushed onto it by the designer.

Ouch!

At elimination they give the girls the worst challenge I've ever seen. Apparently there's some sadomasochistic designer that makes women walk in unbelievably high stiletto heels. This bitch should be shot. It's not fun or attractive to have women walk around looking like they're going to break their ankles. It's painful to watch. Tyra has the girls walk the runway in these and most of them all and look like they're breaking their ankles. The only person I like watching is Jade. I love to watch that bitch trip. Molly Sue works it though and doesn't trip once. The worst though is Danielle, poor girl. She holds herself together though and when she falls on her way out, ends up crawling out of the room. They have to carry her back to the green room where presumably a doctor looks at her toe, which is probably broken. She comes back to evaluation on crutches.

They start evaluating the girls and really like Jade, damnit. Miss J calls Leslie's walk Buffalo-esque. Haha, that's so true, it's gross. Even though Danielle fell, the judges are impressed that she did so with such grace. And her picture is gorgeous. When it's Gina's turn they're completely disappointed in her. The only good thing about her they say are her cheekbones. They're impressed with Molly Sue's walking, but not as much with her picture. Tyra thinks she still needs to come out of her shell and stop holding back. Kari starts crying when they get to her because she feels she did the worst when walking. When it comes down to the final two it's Kari and Gina. I mean, obvious choice right. Yeah Kari looks like a blow up doll Fembot, but she's gorgeous compared to Gina. So what that she tripped, she took a decent picture. But sadly, it's Kari that leaves us. What the hell are these people thinking keeping Gina around? I guess she creates drama in the house but I can't stand looking at her.

RAT TAT TAT

Finally, after the long hiatus of four months, we've joined our favorite convicts for another five episodes. Actually, I don't know how many, but I'm sure it's not enough. I could watch 208243708686 episodes of Wentworth Miller. He could just stand there with those gorgeous blue eyes scowling and I would watch it. Yeah, I'd have to Tivo it and watch it later, but I'd still watch it. If you don't remember where we left off, tough, you should remember, it's a great show. But if some reason you weren't able to join the Prison Break fan club like me (they send you shivs and shanks as their initiation gift) then check out my recap of the fall finale...

http://primetimetvblog.blogspot.com/2005/12/prison-break-sike-not-really.html

How that sad ass rope holds five grown men, I don't know

We pick up right where we left off last fall with the guys stuck in the supply closet, unable to go through the pipe to get to Lincoln. T-Bag is not a happy murderer. And what you want is happy murderers. A guard was making his way to the closet because he heard a loud clanging sound and he's still making his way. He gets to the door and does some Ace Ventura key shaking to let the guys know he's coming. When the door opens the guys are gone, hiding behind shelving in the room. He finds the broken pipe on the floor and picks it up. That's right, it's a pipe, can we say, pipe? And just to make sure it's a pipe, he takes it outside to another guard. Our group quickly goes back into the floor and back down the rope. There are a few holes in this, like how no one will notice the rope tied to the grate, but I'm just gonna go with it. The guards come back to the room just as Michael gets into the hole and puts the grate back on. That's our Michael, I've missed you. Meanwhile above him Lincoln's wondering where the hell Michael is. He tried banging a mop down the pipe to no avail. Pretty soon Dr. Tancredi returns and I wonder how they were going to go ahead with the escape anyway with the doctor and guard there. Oh, and Lincoln handcuffed to the bed. Oh yeah.

Our favorite guard, Bellick, is calling it a day and heading to Sharkey's for a fishbowl. No one wants to go with him. Awe, he's such a sad man. He's quite observant though. He sees the sheetrock the guys are supposed to be installing hasn't moved and since he'll jump at any chance to beat an inmate, he hurries over. The guys are making their way back to the guard's room from underneath when Bellick approaches. He tries the door and it's locked, and this pisses him off. The guys hear him at the door and start crawling into the room. Unfortunately, Westmoreland gets caught on something and can't make his way up before Bellick breaks the lock and comes in. The other guys are standing around. I'd be a little suspicious since they're not working, but hey, that's just me. Bellick bitches and moans about them not working and wants them to go back to their cells. He leaves and then it hits him that not all of the guys were there. When he goes back in and counts four he wonders where Westmoreland is. Westmoreland stands up like he was tying his shoe. Bad ass. After Bellick leaves they're all pissed and what you don't want to see is T-Bag pissed. He gets really inbred and scary.

The next morning is THE morning. By this time tomorrow Lincoln will be dead. Pope is giving a press conference and LJ is watching from their safe house. Actually, I don't think it's a safe house anymore, it's just a house. With Veronica blabbing earlier about her "source" and then that "source" being killed, the government doesn't seem to be on their trail anymore.

In Michael's cell, Sucre assures him that even though the other guys want to rip his balls out and serve them to him on a platter, he's cool with him. Michael thinks the only person who can help Linc now is Dr. Tancredi, seeing that her father is the Governor and all. He goes to get his daily shot and he sees Lincoln in the other room. At least Lincoln's comforted at the fact that Michael didn't leave without him. He asks to see Linc but the guard says no, that he has to wait until the final visit before the execution. Michael's desperate, so he pleads with the doc to talk to her father. Seeing that her father hates what she does, she doesn't think it'll do any good anyway.

Luckily Lincoln's lawyers are workin' their butts off trying to get in to see the judge. Nick and Veronica are talking to one of Nick's friends near the court house, pleading with him to just give them fifteen minutes to talk to him. They want to exhume the Vice President's brother's body. Remember at the end of last season Hale told Veronica that he's still alive. After a few minutes and great lawyering, he agrees to let them see the judge later in the day.

No reason for this picture. I mean, there's a reason...

In the yard, Michael's still frustrated, kicking the dirt. Sucre tries to comfort him again, saying that Lincoln knows he tried his best. T-Bag doesn't care how damn hard he tried, that it isn't good enough. Sucre tells him to back up or he'll make him have sex with a woman. As they're all walking back inside, Westmoreland also comes up and tries to make Michael feel better. He ends up doing it because he mentions that if something goes wrong with the electrocution they have to issue another death warrant. Ding! Ding! Ding! Light bulbs go off in Michael head. As they're finishing up their conversation, Tweener comes up. Let's not forget Tweener's deal with Bellick to give him inside information about Michael.

Once back in the cell Michael decides to go back into the wall. Sucre puts the white sheet up and I remember that in prison talk that means you're gettin' it on. I wonder what everyone else is thinking about Michael and Sucre's private time. Michael's in the pipes and catches a rat. I think I know where this is going and it's nasty.

Lincoln's still with Dr. Tancredi. Glad to know people who are about to be killed by the system are taken such good care of while they're there. Sara tries to comfort him. There's a lot of comforting going on. The one person I'd want to be comforting is Michael. Gotta love conjugal visits. Anyway, I digress. He asks about Michael and she tells him that he's really anxious and that he wanted to see him earlier but it wasn't allowed. Lincoln asks Sara to look after Michael when he's gone and she says, "gladly".

Oh hell yeah!

In Bellick's office, or some back corner, Tweener's there enjoying french fries dipped in ice cream. That's the best ever and it surprises me that a dumbass like Tweener knows about this amazing combo. Tweener gets a bit too comfortable with his burger and fries and when he doesn't come up with any good information about Michael, Bellick snatches the food from him and charges him a hundred bucks, due at the end of the shift. Of course he doesn't have it, so Bellick suggest he become a businessman. And what on Earth could he possibly sell in jail? Why his ass. This gets Tweener going and he remembers the tail end of the conversation he heard between Westmoreland and Michael, about the execution not happening if something's wrong with the chair. I know this poor kid is just trying to stay alive in this horrible place but he's pissing me off. Now that Bellick has this information he goes down to the electric chair room and makes the CO there test it out. Of course it doesn't work so they check the wiring. In lies the dead rat. The mechanic says that he'll have to replace something or another and that he'll issue some paperwork for the part. Bellick won't hear it, and asks the guy if he has the part with him, and he does. He makes the guy use it anyway, without filing any paperwork.

While this is going on, Michael tells Sucre about the plan and Sucre wonders if this means the escape is still on. Since it'll be obvious if they try to corrode the pipe again, they have to figure another way out. Michael doesn't have time to think about that yet, he's still worried his brother's going to fry.

Speaking of poor old Linc. He's doing a little praying. He says that he walked in a man, and hope he'd walk out one too. He'll certainly be carried out in a pine box as one if Michael doesn't find out soon what happened. They come to shave his head and again he asks to see Michael. Because they're a bunch of heartless bitches they tell him no, not yet. The one guard is cool though, he says that if Lincoln says he won't have any problems, he'll not put the cuffs on. Lincoln agrees and they walk out of the room.

Lawyerullet

What school did Veronica go to because her arguments are pretty bad. She and Nick just argue that they've been lied to and intimidated. They don't really show anything we laymen people like to call "evidence". Between outting her source before she met with him and now just pissing off judges, I have no idea how she has stayed alive this long. The prosecutor shows a document from the Secret Service saying that no one named Kellerman or Hale have ever worked for the agency. Really, ever? In the hundred and fifty year history there's been no one? Why didn't they check the CIA, or FBI, or NSA? Anyway, the judge has had enough and says that anyone they would ever bring on the witness stand is either dead or missing. At least he believes that much.

By now Bellick thinks he's better then sliced bread. He goes to get Michael for final visitation and wonders why Michael's so surprised, I mean he knew this was coming, right. Michael starts to get his composure when the lights flicker. Bellick revels in Michael's astonishment. If he does think Michael put the rat in there, you'd think he'd be trying to figure out how that's even possible.

Nice

We've finally made it to final visitation. Pope gives Linc his dead man walking clothes. Luckily he's provided him with an adult diaper. I'm gonna need one too, this is nail biting. Michael and Linc share a brotherly hug and even though it's only brotherly, I pause and rewind. Michael wonders if there's any news from Veronica and Lincoln says no, in fact, he's so tired of this whole, he said/she said crap. He either wants to die or not, this back and forth is just too much.

"No, I don't want to switch to Verizon"

With Veronica, LJ really wants to go to see his dad. Hopefully they wouldn't allow him to see the execution. Talk about a messed up kid. He saw his mother and step father killed. Plus, since he's one of Illinois' Most Wanted, showing up at the place he'll probably be incarcerated later isn't such a good idea. Nick gets a call on his cell and surprise surprise, the judge didn't think their finger pointing was enough to warrant a new trial. Veronica decides to leave and when she opens the door, guess who's standing there? Dr. Tancredi. She wonders if they're Lincoln's attorneys. How'd she find out where they are? If she can find it out, so can anyone else. I'm smelling a nighttime break in.

With Lincoln and Michael, they're playing a good game of cards. Exactly what I want to do before I die, lose money. Lincoln looks at his last meal that they brought in for him, pancakes and mentions that "they're the only good things he did for LJ". Well that really blows. The only good thing your father does for you is make you some damn pancakes? That's messed up. Michael says that he was there for them, but Lincoln doesn't think that it was enough. Just about then Veronica shows up. The guys can tell by the look on her face that things didn't go too well with the appeal. She does mention that Sara showed up and that gives Michael a little hope. Veronica tells Lincoln that LJ couldn't be there, you know, being wanted and all, but she can get him on the phone. He calls him and they talk about making sure he clears his name. Apparently LJ had a dream the night before, about them being together and that gave him the hope that this wasn't the end. What? Now he's clairvoyant?

Meanwhile, Sara's trying to work on her dad. She knows that he doesn't like what she does, but she actually believes this guy is innocent. Aren't they all? The Governor thinks it's a big waste of time but she gives him the paperwork and tells him to just look at it. Oh, and pretend it didn't come from her, a bleeding heart liberal.

With Lincoln, the worst part about all of this, you know, besides the whole being electrocuted thing, is that his name will go down in history as an assassin. He's pretty heart broken. I have to agree with him here. I get pissed when someone thinks I honked at them on the freeway and didn't do it, I couldn't imagine what it's like to have people think you killed someone. Especially if the little bastard is still alive somewhere. Finally Linc shows some emotions and topples over a table or two. The guards take a bit too long to get in there and it doesn't even seem like they're in there for that. Nope, they're there to take away to change into his undergarments.

I hope Veronica ends up slugging this bitch

Everyone's making their way down the Green Mile, including Sara, and one of the guards runs in and tells them the Governor's on the line. Apparently Sara's pleas helped. Or not. He was just calling to tell them that he's not giving him a stay. Do they really call? Seems sorta rude and unnecessary. Lincoln probably needs a new pair of pampers. When he hangs up, the Vice President is with him and she thanks him for taking it up the ass and doing what she wants instead of what's right.

Nice. Nice.

As Lincoln walks down the hall, Veronica and Michael are stopped from going any farther by Bellick. Unfortunately they get stopped too late and Lincoln is now too far away to hug goodbye. Veronica asks Bellick if she can go hug Lincoln. In a moment of humanity he lets her go without any lip. When they do hug she tells him that she's loved him since the first time she saw him. Hey, if you're gonna go all out, this is the time. After her, Pope orders Michael uncuffed and he and Lincoln share a long brotherly hug. Pause. Rewind. Twice. They walk him to the room and the show ends! Yes! Will he die!?! Hell no he won't die, he's first billing on the show. Only 24 does crap like that.

WET LIST? THIS LIST

No one died! It's exciting, and a little bit sad when I'm happy no one died. Doesn't mean I wasn't holding my breath the whole damn show hoping no one would die. Someone else is gonna die this season, I can feel it. Is it wrong that I hope it's Logan?

As the show begins they're showing them wrap up Tony's body. Geez, rip my heart out why don't you. I already know he's dead, no reason to kick me while I'm down. Audrey comes in to Jack and tells him that Henderson has escape. Um, yeah, he can see that. She does have some good news, Chloe was able to decrypt a file on his computer and she got the name of that ho from last episode running around in her skivvies, Collette. In fact, they know where she's staying, in a hotel, of course. Jack lets Curtis know that he wants to come with the tactical team to bring in Collette himself.

"Yes, yes, you're a tool"

Meanwhile, Logan's getting ready to tell the world he's declaring marital law and ruin any chance he may have to be reelected. At first I was against this idea, but now if it means he won't get elected again, I'm all for it. Unfortunately, our alternative is the Vice President who's just a useless as Logan but is a bit smarter. Martha tries to stop him by saying that CTU may have a lead on finding Bierko, but once a man starts a pissing contest, he can't stop. He thinks CTU won't be able to handle the threat after everything that happened, and this is their only choice. She reminds him that Gardner's intentions aren't for the best interest for the country, but Logan just ignores her. He goes out and for a minute I think he may not do it, but ultimately, he does declare martial law. Bierko watches this announcement and basically scoffs at it.

"When can my people start undermining your authority?"

Homeland Security finally arrives at CTU and makes a dramatic entrance, stepping over bodies and what not. Karen Hayes and her little lap dog, Miles, go right to work. She tells Miles that she wants everyone who can work at CTU to be working and that after the canisters are found, that's when they'll take over. I want to not like this plan, but it kinda makes sense. I just know that whenever someone new comes into CTU it isn't good. They don't trust Jack, or whoever's in charge, and they nearly cost the investigation with their tireless questioning and micro-management. Bill tries to play nice when he meets up with Karen, but you can tell he wants to kick her out. She tells him that the White House just wants an assessment and any assistance they can lend. She leaves out the part of them taking over later. Miles goes and checks out CTU's network, I guess in case the nerve gas got into the computers? When Miles asks Chloe where Edgar's work station is since he won't be using it anymore, she back talks him in true Chloe form. He's a little weasel, I can tell already. He asks her for her keycard which she reluctantly gives him.

Get your eyes on the road!

Logan and Gardner watch the news in the situation room and Martha cuts Gardner some mean eyes. She then leaves and when she passes Aaron in the hallway she mutters that she doesn't trust Gardner. Right then Aaron gets a call from Wayne Palmer! Yes! I'm happy with at least one Palmer brother on the show. He tells Aaron that he knows how much David trusted him and asks if he can give him something of David's. It's a brooch their mother gave them when they were kids. I think it's probably a tape of some sort, something that'll blow this all out of the water. Aaron agrees, and really, how can he not, Wayne's on his way up to the compound. Now I'm really excited, it must be good. In with Logan, when the news suggests that declaring martial law could have been illegal, he starts gets angry, doing his best Jimmy Stewart, "Well? Well?". Gardner tries to reassure him that he's the President, so he can do whatever he'd like.

At the same time, Bill's briefing Karen on the situation with Bierko. He says he's confident that CTU will be back to normal soon. And by back to normal I mean no nerve gas killing people.

In the hotel room with Collette, her boyfriend, Stoller, asks Collette about her business. She doesn't want to tell him anything. At this point if I were him I'd think she was some sort of call girl. I high priced one though. She kisses him goodbye and confirms they'll meet at the airport later. After she leaves she calls Bierko and tells him she's on her way over. When he hangs up he tells one of his henchmen that the Distribution Center is their new target and they'll be able to kill 200,000 people. I hope Jack kills this mofo. I'm sure he will.

Back at CTU, Bill's finally wising up to Karen's true intentions. She finally admits that CTU is going to be absorbed into Homeland Security and that she'll be in charge when that happens. He tries to argue with her, saying they just need to restaff and then they'll be back to normal, but she's not buying it. She asks him to keep this to himself for the time being. When Audrey confronts him about why Homeland Security's being such a**holes, he just tells her that it's all just a formality. Not sure if she believes him but at this point I guess she has to.

I don't have anything to say, this is just a cool shot

Jack and Curtis finally arrive at Collette's empty hotel room. Curtis heads to the roof and I'm yelling at Jack to go with him. No CTU agent, accept for Jack, should ever be left alone again. Of course, they should have listened to me because Curtis is jumped by Stoller and loses his gun. Luckily Jack arrives and it's a Mexican standoff. Jack tells him who they are and Stoller claims he's with German Intelligence. He thinks his cover will be blown if they stay. Ah-ha, the player is getting played, I like it. Jack calls Chloe and has her confirm that Stoller's really German Intelligence. She says that there is an agent named Stoller, that he's 5'10'' with brown hair, green eyes, and a Capricorn who likes long walks on the beach at sunset. They confirm that this is the same guy. Stoller refuses to help them and says they've been working too long and hard to give up Collette now. She's going to lead him to a large terrorist cell. Jack tries to tell him about the hundreds of the thousands of people who will die very soon if he doesn't help but Stoller says that his loyalty lies with his country. Hey, I can't really blame the guy, not sure if Jack would give up that information if roles were reversed. Jack takes Stoller into custody. Around this time Collette arrives at Bierko's safe house and the guards frisk her.

"Here, have a drink, brotha"

Jack gets on the phone with Bill and Karen who tell him that Logan can't get in touch with the German government to explain what's going on and force Stoller to talk. Audrey makes the point that it doesn't matter anyway because they won't have him give up this person who's vital to their own investigation. Jack's confident that even without this he'll be able to convince Stoller to help. Yeah I bet he can. He asks Curtis to leave. Oh yeah, he we go, more torture. Damnit, Jack decides to give Stoller something he'll value much more then anything slutty Collette can give him. It's something call the "WET list". I'm sure W.E.T. stands for something but I can't think of it. Worldwide Espionage Taskforce. White Entertainment Television. We Don't Even Tell. Wait, that'd be W.D.E.T. That wouldn't sound as cool. Anyway, the WET list is a list of all known terrorist suspects around the world. Stoller is impressed, although he knows the US and CTU won't give that up. Jack tells him that he doesn't work for CTU. Stoller agrees to trade Collette for the WET list. He also warns Jack not trick him because he knows some of the names on that list.

Jack calls trusted Chloe to get the WET list. She tells him she can't do it. He gets upset until she says that it's not like she doesn't want to, that she really can't because Homeland Security is up their collective asses. Plus, that weasel Miles has her key card. If she had that she could use it to get on the NSA mainframe and download the list to Jack. Chloe tells him she'll get the list. She goes to Edgar's old desk where Mike's is and accidentally spills coffee on him. He leaves to clean up and she takes the key card and is able to hack into the NSA computer from Edgar's computer and send Jack the file, all before Miles gets back. Because he's so anal, Miles thinks something's up but doesn't say anything. Back with Jack, Stoller confirms that it is indeed the WET list. Jack takes the memory card and says that after he gets Collette, he'll give him the card. They leave for Stoller and Collette's rendezvous point, the Van Nuys Airport.

In any other circumstance I'd be lovin' this guy

Collette's ready to collect her dough. She's on the phone with the bank and hands Bierko the thumb drive with the information he needs on it. After the money is transferred she gives him the encryption codes. On the screen is a gas distribution facility. Collette leaves and Bierko and his men move out of the safe house.

Wayne Palmer has finally arrived at the check point before the compound. They won't let him through and check with Gardner to confirm his visit. Gardner's not sure why he's there but of course lets him through. He's also a bit suspicious.

I don't know what I'd do with myself if I found him in my backseat

At the Van Nuys Airport Jack's laying in the backseat of Stoller's car. Jack Bauer in the backseat of a car. So many of my dreams start off like that. Curtis is in position ready to get Collette on Jack's orders. Stoller asks Jack if he's ever been attracted to a woman while he was working undercover. Hmm, what an interesting question. Let's see, there was that big lipped woman in season 3, Claudia, Hector Salazar's woman who Jack had a soft spot for. Oh, and then of course this season, Diane, who I pretty much forgot about until just now. Anyway, Jack doesn't say anything which pretty much confirms it.

At CTU, Bill calls Chloe into the situation room. Uh oh, this can't be good. Miles confronts her about hacking into the NSA and want to know what it is she took. She doesn't want to say, but they pretty much force her. When she tells them it was the WET list she gave to him, they freak out. Karen looks at Bill and wonders how she and her team can give his agents a chance when they're pulling this kinda crap.

The group calls Jack who really needs to put his phone on vibrate in situations like this. Stoller makes him put the phone on speaker. Immediately Karen demands he take the WET list back. Before he can pull his, Jack pulls his gun on Stoller. So bad ass, even laying down in the back of the car. I guess after hearing what Karen said Stoller was afraid Jack would double cross him. Jack refuses to take it back and Karen threatens to have Curtis come take it. Jack says to go ahead, that it'll be her fault if hundreds of thousands of people die. Karen says that since this will affect the United States ability to investigate the terrorists on this list, because of German's now involvement, she'll have to get Logan to sign off on it. Jack asks why she's still talking to him if she needs it and to just get it. Right then Curtis radios that Collette's on her way in. Jack wants Karen to say whether or not to go through with it. She's forced to tell him to go ahead, but warns him that there will be repercussions. He just rolls his eyes and does the hand talking thing to Stoller and hangs up.

Collette pulls into a parking space behind Stoller's car and Jack watches from the rear view mirror. Stoller goes up to her and they kiss. Jack tells Curtis it's a positive ID and they move in. Stoller holds Collette as Jack and the team surrounds her. When Jack has her secured Stoller walks away with the WET list. Jack tells the agents to let him go as he gets into his car and leaves. When Jack asks Collette where Bierko is, she doesn't say anything.

Look, it's like one those trick lighters

As Stoller drives down the street he makes a call to, I guess, his handler or someone, and says that he'll be uploading them something. He puts the memory card in his PDA and after a few seconds smoke and sparks fly out from it. Bad ass! Jack calls him and apologizes. He says that he promises when this is done he'll help him build his case again but Stoller doesn't believe him, since his word doesn't mean bubkis to him anymore.

They've pulled Collette into a nearby hanger and Curtis tells Jack that Collette doesn't have anything on her that would lead them to Bierko. And he really looked. After Jack tells Collette that Stoller was German Intelligence she wonders what his price was to sell her out. She tells Jack that she had feelings for him, and thought he had feelings for her. Jack tries to get Bierko's whereabouts from her but unlike earlier, she's not giving it up. She wants to talk to him alone and Jack obliges. When they're alone she wonders if Jack has a price as well and he says he doesn't. She says that she's not giving anything up until she has full immunity signed by the President. Since Palmer's dead she'll settle for that tool Logan. She does admit to not knowing where Bierko is because they were leaving the safe house when she left.

Collette admits that on the thumb drive was schematics her source gave her, but she never saw them because the source encrypted the files and didn't tell what was on it. When she gets immunity she'll give up her source. When Jack calls CTU and tells them with Collette wants, they in turn tell Mike to start the immunity paperwork. Karen's still pissed about the whole WET list thing but Jack tells her to chill the frak out because he made it self destruct. She bitches about why he didn't tell her and he tells her that Stoller was listening to the call and that she should have just trusted him. Bill sticks out his tongue and says, "told you so!".

Wayne is still making his way to the compound when all of the sudden a black van comes out of nowhere and starts following him. Wayne tries to out run it but can't. Okay, let me just say this, Wayne is in a Mercedes and this truck is like an '87 Ford or something. What's up with that? When the truck pulls up next to him the masked gunmen pull out a gun and shoot the tires out. The car goes off the embankment and flips. Luckily Wayne's able to make it out of the car and run away into the woods, thank the Lords of Kobol.

Collette confirms with her lawyer in Europe that her immunity has been granted and can now give up the information. She tells Jack where Bierko's safe house is. She then tells him that her source is someone in the D.O.D. Someone named Audrey Raines! Jack pushes her against the wall and yells at her that she's lying. Collette says, "Apparently, she had a price." Damn!

SOMEBODY'S GONNA DIE

Who's gonna die? I can tell you who I don't want to die, Denny. If he dies I'm gonna be pissed. He and Izzie need to be together but I fear this will never be. The actor, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, is currently taping episodes of Supernatural up in Canada. He's great in that so check it out if you haven't seen it. The only problem with this is he can't be in two places at one time, so either Denny's gonna go away for awhile, or he's gonna go away forever. This is all I can think about as I watch this episode.

She contimplating sticking Meredith in the eye

We learn from Meredith that this episode is all about superstition. We watch the doctors, Addison, Derek, Burke and Bailey, all prepare for their respective surgeries. Bailey says a prayer, Burke has a lucky cap that he can't find at the moment, Derek plays some music, and Addison sleeps with someone. Unfortunately none of this works and ALL of their patients end up dying. Burke wasn't working on Denny was he? WAS HE? I don't think they would just kill him off in the first two minutes without showing his face, so I'm guessing not.

Our group meets up in the locker room and Christina's noshing on a granola bar or something and George wants some. She tells him that she already has him in her house, she doesn't want him in her food. They talk about the bad luck that's going around and about the superstition that deaths will happen in 3's and 7's. Since there've been 4 already, they assume three more are to come. No Denny! NNNOOO!!! Oh, and in case you cared, George is still ignoring Meredith. Alex walks in and privately wonders to Izzie where she took off too that morning. Yup, that's right people, she's still sleeping with him. I'm sure she's imagining it's Denny, but truly ladies, who wouldn't?

Derek's face in the background is priceless

Addison decides to show her nice face this morning and brings everyone who lost a patient hot cocoa and herpes. She hands it to Meredith who quickly throws it in her face. Addy says it's good "juju" to help them not kill anymore people. Hey, Meredith didn't kill anyone lady, you did. When Meredith walks away Derek wonders what she's doing and Addy comments that she and Meredith are friends. You know, friends with benefits. Apparently the way it works nowadays is if you work with the woman your husband's truly in love with you can consider her your friend. Derek points out that he's not friends with Mark. It's a little different, but I'll go with it. Meredith throws her juju away. I'll say it again, she throws away free chocolate. No wonder she's so damn skinny.

At our trusted surgery board, lots of things are being erased. Burke's on the phone with the President wondering where the hell his damn surgical cap is. The Chief approaches and sees this and insists Burke can do the surgeries without the cap. Yeah, but as a nurse I'd much prefer watching the cute capped Burke.

When our group goes to the pit there's nothing going on. Christina says this and apparently it's like saying "MacBeth" in a theatre. I don't know what that means but it sounds bad. Sure enough right after she says it the doors open and all of these traumas start flowing through. I'm glad she didn't say it three times in a mirror, things would have really gotten out of hand.

"Hi, I'm crazy lightening lady"

A woman who's throwing up blood comes in. Also, a guy with OCD comes from a car accident. Apparently he was rear ended and his head went through the wind shield. When they're leading him in he's counting the siren burst of the ambulance. Also at the same time a woman comes in who claims she was struck by lightening. Apparently her juju is all messed up too and she says her horoscope told her she shouldn't be leaving her house that day. She shoulda listened. The other problem she has is with her boyfriend and a little thing called the truth. Gets in the way sometimes I know. Come to find out, she doesn't have any of the tell tale lightening strike injuries. She admits that she didn't get struck, that it was the tree next to her and then it fell on her. Bailey's not too happy to have to start a new report over.

George comes and gets the Chief because the woman throwing up blood asks for him. When the Chief sees her he's surprised. I'm surprised too, he really likes white women. They're obviously old friends because he tells her about Ellis having Alzheimer's and him visiting her. The woman realizes the Chief is having an emotional affair with Ellis. She also reminds him that this is what caused him to become an alcoholic all of those years ago. She's his sponsor, I get it, that's why she's all up in his business. He learns the reason she's there is because she has cirrhosis of the liver and needs surgery. Replacing the liver would be the best thing, but since they typically don't give livers to raging alcoholics, unless you're Larry Hagman, they can't do it right away. They'll have to insert a shunt and do something doctorly to it. Unfortunately the procedure is extremely dangerous and half of the people who get it done die. The good news is that all of the people who don't get it done and have this problem die, so hey, I'd say those odds are good.

Finally we get to Denny and he's not doing so good with the heart valve they replaced last episode. In fact, it looks to Izzie and Alex like he may have a pulmonary embolism. Nothing with the word "embolism" sounds good, so they go get Dr. Burke.

Meredith and Christina meet up in the elevator. They each have their patients, who should start dating after this because they're both a little off. Meredith complains to Christina that Addison "juju'd" her. Lightening strike girl tells them that there's no juju rule that says you have to honor the juju. I mean it's your juju, no one tells you what to do with your vajayjay, why would you care what anyone said about your juju.

In the nasty moment of the night, George's lady doctor, Dr. Torres, sets the lightening strike girl's broken leg or knee or something else I don't want to think about. George is there trying to woo Dr. Torres and she's not having it. She doesn't like men who don't call. I hear ya girlfriend. Meredith walks in and George doesn't know what the hell to do. Dr. Torres tells her that there's no way she got this break from a tree falling on her. The lady finally admits that the tree didn't fall on her, she fell out of the tree. Something tells me she was up in it with some binoculars spying on this guy she claims is her "boyfriend". After doing tests they realize she has a lacerated spleen that needs to be operated on immediately. She says she doesn't want the surgery since her horoscope told her today was a bad day. She refuses to have the surgery until midnight that night, also because she heard all of this 3/7 talk and didn't like the odds on that. Meredith picks up on the fact that lightening strike girl's a few cards short of a full deck. She also asks Bailey how she feels about the whole 3/7 superstition and Bailey pretends she thinks it's bull, but you can tell she doesn't.

Bailey starts to get mad at the crazy woman because she's refusing to have this surgery. She says that spleen trumps horoscope. I think everything trumps horoscope. The lady won't hear it and wants them to call her boyfriend to let him know she's crazy, oh I mean in the hospital. Meredith pets her head and says 'Sure I'll call him, sure."

Christina and Burke meet up and she comforts him the best she can for losing a patient earlier. You know, comfort like tell him he needs to kick George out. He, of course, has a heart, so doesn't want to. He complains about not having any of his caps and she admits to having one of them in her locker. She doesn't think the cap is the key to his amazing talents, especially since he doesn't have one on in the bedroom. Finally she says she'll give him the cap if he kicks George out. He, again, is a decent guy so he doesn't want to do it. He does find George and tells him that Christina has a cap and wants him to get it back from her. Later, when George is going through her locker she walks in on him. He tries to bribe it out of her, doing her laundry, dishes, anything, but since she doesn't do any of that anyway, she doesn't care. We all know what she truly wants... world peace. And for George to move, but of course he doesn't want to.

Burke, Izzie and Alex are doing the procedure on Denny's heart. He's awake for it and Izzie's holding his hand. To distract himself, hopefully not the doctors, he starts talking about horses. Alex, to fit in, blurts out that his uncle was a rodeo clown. What the hell? Unfortunately, Dr. Burke tells them that the clot's too big and they'll have to open him back up. Later in Denny's hospital room, we're treated to why we thought Alex was a d*ck in the beginning. He basically tells Denny that Izzie likes to sugar coat things (insert your own joke here) and although she says there's a good chance things will work out, his odds are pretty terrible. He also suggests maybe Denny tone down the flirting because unfortunately, it doesn't look like he's gonna make it for that much longer and that would just hurt Izzie. If Denny were his normal strong self he could totally take Alex on.

Christina takes her OCD guy for an MRI and while they're preparing for it, the psyche guy comes down and evaluates him. OCD tells them that he knows it's annoying and that his mother had it and his father ended up bludgeoning her to death with a bat because of it. While he's explaining all of this, George is in the observation room, staring at Christina. He then puts his face up to the glass to further annoy her. I see, he's going to annoy her so much she's forced to give it to him. This is actually a pretty good plan, Christina is easily annoyed and doesn't like being out of control. They start prepping the guy for surgery and it's obvious he's not too off from Christina. Any straight A student who's always perfect could end up being an OCD freak that's about to go into brain surgery. Ha, you cheerleader bitches!

This is more action than George's gotten in a long time

Later in the cafeteria George puts aside his hatred for Meredith and sits with the group. He starts staring Christina down. To really get her he starts chewing in her ear. Okay, I'd give up my first born to make someone stop chewing in my ear. She tries to ignore him as much as she can. Izzie stops by and tries to convince everyone that she's not worried about Denny. I'm worried about Denny and I don't even know the guy. Later in the bathroom George follows Christina in and tries to physically take it from her. Dr. Torres walks in and tries to ignore them. Because George is a big pus he doesn't get it from her.

Whoa, my girl crush is ready to fight

Izzie goes in to talk to Denny and he's all business after his little talk with Alex the a**hole. He talks about his last will and testament. He even calls her Dr. Stevens. Oh no he di'int. Yes he did! When superstitious Izzie finds out that Christina has Burke's cap she goes balls out. She threatens her with physical harm if she doesn't give it back because she knows how superstitious he is. It's awesome. I'm hoping they start throwing down but Christina gives in. She finds Burke in the hall and gives it to him. The cap I mean. She tells him that she's had it for awhile so it'll remind her every day about being a great surgeon. He tries to play like he's not that excited to have it back, but he is.

Izzie finds Alex and asks him what he said to Denny. He says he told him the truth and this just upsets her more. She tells him that on his best day, Denny's twice the man he'll ever be. And she breaks up with him! Finally! I mean I was a champion for these two when I thought Alex was just a misunderstood hottie. But it turns out he's a mean hottie. When Izzie and Alex get into surgery Burke tells them to leave and not even watch from the galley. He doesn't want their energy messing up his juju.

And now the dying begins. All the surgeons start their surgeries. Meredith's lightening strike girl starts crashing and she pulls Bailey out of surgery to help. She lies to the lady and tells her that her boyfriend called and he wants her to have her surgery. Too late though, the poor girl because number five.

In surgery the OCD guy takes a nose dive and unfortunately he doesn't make it either. That makes six. So now it's between Denny and the Chief's cirrhosis lady. Alex, Izzie and a few nurses are standing around looking at the board to see who's died. Alex bets them $20 it's gonna be Denny. WTF. When they make him an ass they make him an ass. Damn. The Chief goes into his sponsor's room and tells her family that she made it through the surgery. Damnit!!! That means...

We see Izzie crying in Denny's room. What the Sam hell. You can't kill off one hottie and make the other hottie an ass. Well, they didn't! Denny's alive. Izzie knows she's wrong, and that she shouldn't fall for a patient, but the smart girl leans down and kisses him. Hold up hold up, girl. Be gentle. He just had open heart surgery.

Everyone's in the locker room and George walks in. He slightly avoids Meredith and goes to his locker. Because Alex is furious that Izzie dumped him, he does some classic projection and starts yelling at George. He tells him to stop feeling sorry for himself and be a man. He says that if he wouldn't get kicked out of the program he'd smash his head into the locker. Whoa man. That's harsh. The girls try to defend him but it's too late, George's ego has been hurt pretty bad. Luckily George takes this and turns it around. He goes to Dr. Torres and asks her out again. She says no, that he had his chance and blew it because he never called. When she walks away he whips out his cell phone and calls her. She finally agrees to go out with him.

As everyone is leaving the hospital Addison's handing out her damn juju again. This girl knows how to hand it out doesn't she? Meredith takes a sip and then throws it out again. Not in front of her, damn that'd be embarrassing. As Burke and Christina are leaving, he gives his cap back to her. He says he'll kick George out tonight. Christina, after just hearing how bad Alex just treated him, suggests they not do it that night. The morning is fine.

Well, even though some people died, I was sure happy as hell it wasn't Denny. His number's going to be up soon, but after those few episodes of 24, I just couldn't take anymore death.

HEIST

I had really high hopes for this new show on NBC and I'll tell you what, it delivered. It was funny, exciting, and reminded me of a few great movies, The Italian Job and Oceans Eleven, two of the most famous. It's funny, entertaining and well written. It also channels a bit of 24 in the sense that it's nearly real time. The events take place over just a few days. Dougray Scott stars and I absolutely adore him, ever since he was Prince Charming in Drew Barrymore's Ever After. He was also the bad guy in Mission Impossible 2 but that movie sucked, so I've blocked it out. If you can't catch the first run of the show on NBC, it also airs on Bravo and USA as well.

Mickey and James waiting out the cops

Anyway, the show starts out following two stories. First it's Mickey (Dougray) and James, his partner, played by the talented Steve Harris of The Practice fame. He'll always be the commando from The Rock who tells Nicholas Cage "I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, boy". Hahah, sorry, I digress. Anyway, they're dressed as plumbers outside of a jewelry store. They have great banter as they disrupt the electric from across the street. They time the police response. 8 minutes, not bad. After the police leave they trip it again, this time 10 minutes. The third time, it takes the police nearly half an hour. They've officially cried wolf. Bad ass. They break in, but only steal a small statue.

At the same time this is going on, there's something weird happening near the train yard. A guy and a girl race a train in a truck and hit one of the cars with a few paintballs. Behind them are a few other cars who then break into the train car and steal whatever it is inside. I don't know why they had to do the paintball thing, but it was kinda cool. Once the group gets back to the warehouse with their stuff the cops are lying it wait. Turns out the girl is Robbery/Homicide detective, Amy Sykes.

At the jewelry store the next day we get to see Sykes out of her undercover outfit and dressed like a good girl cop. Bill, one of the detectives, doesn't think the case is solvable because the crooks did such a good job not leaving evidence and unlocking the safe. They're curious as to why they only stole the small statue, which was only worth about $8,000 when there was a bracelet next to it that was valued at $2937972308. I mean I don't know. But it was much more then the mini statue thing. When Sykes leaves the store, Mickey's watching her from the roof across the street and says, "Keep your enemies close". Isn't it keep your enemies "closer"? Maybe that's what he said.

At Mickey's warehouse three team members show up. A goofy guy, Ricky, a tough girl, Lola, and an old man, Pops. Ricky makes a pass at Lola and she hits him. He then says something rude to Pops and he hits him too. Hilarious. Mickey takes them to where they're going to pull the job off, Rodeo drive. Three of the most famous jewelry stores are on that one street. The only two I know are Tiffany and Cartier. He never says any of them and now I want to drive down there just to look for the third one. They want to know which one they're gonna hit and Mickey says, all of them. The take will be half a billion dollars. Yes, half a BILLION. They're going to do it during the Academy Awards since that's when they have most of their jewels out. And by jewels I mean big fake breasts. And jewels. To pull off a job this big they'll need some capital. And how do criminals get capital, they rob banks of course.

Here's where the cop logistics get confusing. Reno and Bill, good cop/bad cop, skinny cop/fat cop, black cop/white cop, aren't really on the best of terms. Mostly because Bill's a bit racist. He's not burning crosses and wearing sheets, but he's a good ol' boy. Oh, and did I mention he's also sexist? After Sykes brief's them all about the jewelry store robbery she keeps Reno and Bill back, saying she's making them partners. Is she the lieutenant? Or the sergeant? They call her "detective" which is confusing because they're all detectives too. I've watched enough cop shows to know the basic structure of a police detective division .

This poor kid

At a seedy motel, a kid delivers a pizza and gets pulled into the room by gunpoint. The next day, at a bank, James and Mickey are casing the place with a camera in James' briefcase. Again, they have great banter and I realize how much I like these two, and how much onscreen chemistry they share. As they fill out check requests or deposit slips, the pizza kid walks in. He's extremely nervous and James notices. He also notices the heavy coat the kid's wearing and points it out to Mickey. They hurry out of the bank and against Mickey's wishes, James calls the cops. They don't particularly like someone honing in on their territory. The kid opens his jacket and tells everyone it's a robbery. They get the money for him and because of James' call, the cops show up. Unfortunately, when the kid comes out with the money, the bomb on his chest starts beeping and he explodes. Oops, doesn't James feel like a tool now. He does. When Sykes get there they find a radio detonator and realize the kid wasn't the robber and was forced to do this.

We get a little back story on Pops when he comes home to his wife who doesn't recognize him at first. I'm trying to remember the actress' name that plays her because she's definitely played someone with Alzheimer’s before, I just can't remember it.

Ricky and Lola are riding in a car and Ricky's made a 'heist' mix cd. I love it! Lola goes into the locker room at a gym and Sykes is there. When she leaves she lifts her wallet from her locker and takes it out to the car. She runs all her credit cards through the computer and hurries back to return the wallet. For some reason Sykes is back and Lola has to think of a way to return her wallet without her noticing. She does the old 'you dropped something' trick by taking the cash out of Sykes own wallet and throwing it next to her. While Sykes bends down to get it, Lola throws the wallet in the locker. Of course Sykes, being the ever observant cop, doesn't realize she's putting her own twenty back into her wallet. She's useless, the character and actor, but again, I'm trying to hold off judgment, at least for a little bit.

Oh look, St. Ives is on sale

At the hide out, Lola finds out that Sykes takes dancing lessons, which just happen to be that night. Lola's going to go until Mickey tells her that he'll do it. I think he has a little crush on Sykes. He watches Syles during the class, and afterwards in the grocery store. He also watches as she steals some razors. I'm not really sure why she steals them, I think she likes the rush of stealing. Not the best job if you like stealing, working in the Robbery division, but whatever. Mickey approaches her and pretends he's grocery store security. If grocery store security looked like that... I don't know what, but it'd be something dirty. She knows she's seen him before and he reminds her that they were just at the dance lessons together. Again, she's not a great cop.

Next Mickey goes to a little girl's violin concert, but stays out of sight. Later, when the concert's over, the little girl, Katie, seems distracted. Katie's mom tells her husband, Sam, that Katie's a bit upset because she thought she saw her father at the concert. Sam thinks that's strange since Mickey's been dead seven years! Yes, come to find out, through the magic of flashbacks, Sam and Mickey were partners. During one of their heists Sam betrayed Mickey and pumped him full of led. Luckily for us, Mickey didn't die, but his family, and Sam, thinks he's dead. And to add insult to injury, literally, his wife is now MARRIED to the bastard.

At the precinct Sykes is pissed because there are only seven reports from the bank robbery gone wrong and there were eight units there. (obviously this will come up later) Anyway, they learn that another pizza guy has been reported missing and since she's Columbo, she realizes that this must be the robbers' MO.

Mickey and James look at surveillance from the bank robbery and see a cab parked near the bank. As the cops get there the cab takes off. They realize the cab is probably the getaway car. They're able to trace the cab to the driver and Lola and Ricky follow them. Ricky flirts with Lola a bit and climbs on the roof of the motel the robbers are staying in. He puts a microphone in the room as the pizza delivery guy is gagged and in the tub. Ricky doesn't see this. The robbers go over their plan so now our guys know exactly which bank they're hitting next.

"Hi, I'm an idiot"

The next day, Sykes has figured out where the most likely target's going to be for the bank robbery. Lola and Pops get into the waiting cab with the robber in it and are able to subdue him and put him in the trunk. Lola drives off and Ricky and Pops get into a new cab and put on ski masks. James is driving a semi truck and parks it under a bridge, and Mickey's in a cab of his own, driving around the city. The pizza delivery guy walks into the bank and demands the money, with a bomb strapped to his chest. He gets the money but not before Sykes and the cops have figured out where they're gonna hit and show up. The kid heads out of the bank and since he has the bomb, they let him through to the waiting cab. When they pull away all of the cop cars follow, not wanting to blow the kid up. Ricky and Pops have really cute banter (of which there is a lot on this show) because Ricky doesn't know which wires to cut. They argue about it and just go for it. Then they start laughing at how scared the kid was. I love these guys. Lola's at a stop light and fidgets with the signal. When Pops pulls up to it, she turns it red so he has to stop. The cop cars hold back and don't see Ricky slip out from underneath the car into the man hole (ha, I said man hole). He gives Pops a ten thousand dollar stack of money before he goes. Once Ricky's safely away Lola switches the light back to green and they go.

Sykes is replaying everything that happened in her head because she knows something's not right. She thinks the robbers are always one step ahead of them and wonders how that is. She remembers that there were only seven reports and eight cars and figures out that one of the cars has the robbers it. She tells all the patrol cars in the chase to go to a secure line. Of course she does it in police talk. When all the good guys are on a secure line she tells them to slam on their brakes. The one that doesn't is the bad guys. I would think there'd be a better way of doing it, but none more efficient. They get out of the car and Sykes orders for the helicopter to follow the cab. James, by now, has pulled underneath an overpass and Mickey has his cab driver pull in front of the truck.

Since only the helicopter is following Pops' cab, he goes underneath the overpass and into the awaiting semi-truck. Mickey's cab, after getting Mickey's fare, pulls off. The helicopter thinks it's still following the same cab. The cops find the bomb detonator in the cop car and Sykes orders the cab to be stopped. When they stop it it's just the cab driver Mickey had. Later, we see the pizza delivery guy open the back of the truck and leave, with a wad of money. Now that they have the money from the bank, Mickey and his crew are ready to start the real heist.

I love this show. I think it has so much potential. Let's just hope NBC doesn't frak it up. I highly recommend everyone check it out.