Hello again.
LOST is back and better then ever! Well, better then last season at least. They've pretty much stepped out of the box and seem to be perfecting the flash FOWARD. Love it!
When the show starts we get treated to a close up shot of hundreds of mangoes. I love mangoes. Did you know that the skin of mangoes is related to poison oak? Yeah, you shouldn't eat the skins. But try out the fruit it's so yummy. Ok, sorry, back to the show. So there is this close up of mangoes and I'm thinking, "Damn, a show that doesn't start in a flashback. Wait, this is a trick, it's going to be a flashback ." I was right.
Suddenly a car bursts through the mangoes and there's a high speed chase. It's a nice car that's being chased and it's being followed on the TV as well, and Jack, looking kinda the hotness again, is watching. They stop the car and the person I figured gets out, Hurley. The cops start to arrest him and he's screaming that he's part of the "Oceanic 6". I get a little side tracked here because it reminds me of the Jena 6 and I think that's sorta inappropriate. But then I'm sucked right back in when I think about who else he could be talking about.
Then we're back on the island and pick up right where we left off. Seriously, time is so slow here, these people are still living in the time before the Sox won the World Series. Crap like that I don't really care about, I mean, the World Series, but to think that it's only been months for them and it's been YEARS for us is a little irritating.
Anyway, Naomi is lying with the knife in her back, Ben looks like crap because Jack just beat the crap out of him (months ago, but only recently) and Jack is holding the satellite phone that's telling them they're being rescued. Everything is great. After Jack gets the confirmation that people are coming to rescue them they realize Locke is gone. Jack tells Kate that the next time he sees him he's going to kill him. I'm wondering why he's so angry at Locke, all he did was kill that chick. Then I remember in LOST world, Locke just blew up the sub Jack was trying to go home and leave everybody on, like yesterday. Riiigghhttt. Ben also pulls Rousseau aside and tells her to take Alex as far away as possible because he doesn't want his "daughter" to be around. Rousseau gives him a quick punch in the face and he shuts up.
Oh wait.
Hurley and the gang at the beach learn they're about to be rescued and Hurley does a cannon ball into the water. Fat people happy, that's nice. His happiness is soon thwarted. Oh, I like that word. Desmond, who is looking pretty damn hot to me all the sudden, comes back ashore and alarms everyone that the boat coming to get them is not Penny's boat, as they were led to believe. Remember we know this because Charlie sacrificed himself for no good reason to write the note on his hand that the boat wasn't Penny's. And this brings us to the moment when Hurley finds out Charlie's dead. He's pretty broken up.
The beach group, which includes Sawyer, 'ello poppin', realizes they can't call to Jack's group on the walkies because the bad people may be intercepting the radios, so they'll have to hike up and meet them and let them know these people aren't who they say they are in person.
We go back, forward, sideways, whatever to Hurley after his arrest for running into mangoes. Nobody messes with mangoes in Los Angeles, NOBODY! The detective tells Hurley that he knew someone on Oceanic 815, Ana Lucia Cortez. We all know what happened to her. She got busted for drunk driving and then got fired. And we all know that this world is too frakkin' small. Really? Out of the ten million people in Los Angeles Hurley gets the one cop that used to be her partner? Anyway, overlooking that, Hurley doesn't want to talk about why he went on a rampage. The cop shows Hurley a video from right before the high speed chase. It's Hurley in a 7-11 or something and he sees something off camera and runs out of the place, freaked out. Hurley's not talking so the guy leaves. While the guy is gone Hurley gets a vision (?) of the double mirror turning into a fish tank and Charlie (!!!) is swimming towards him. Then the glass bursts and water starts pouring in. He yells and the cop comes back in. Of course everything is normal and the cops asks, "Are ya stupid or somethin'?" And Hurley replies, "Stupid is as stupid does, sir". So they throw him in the looney bin.
Up with Jack, the people from the boat radio asking to speak with Naomi. You know, their friend with the knife in her back? Jack looks around and sees Ben strapped to a tree, but Naomi's body's not where they left it. Ben gives Jack a "You're f*cked" look and Jack lies and says that Naomi went to get some fire wood, and bacitracin. Rousseau tells them she found a trail and Kate says there are actually two and she thinks one of them could be a dummy trail. Jack rightly tells Kate that this poor innocent woman who was attacked by Locke wouldn't think to do that, she's hurt. Silly Kate.
The group decides to all head back down to the beach and as they go, Kate hugs Jack and wishes him luck on finding Naomi. Ben again is staring at them like freakin' Willy Wonka. In the updated Willy Wonka that Johnny Depp did where he's all weird and creepy, not the old one with Gene Wilder. Awe. They all leave and Jack, Rousseau and her new little leashed pet Ben, all go looking for Naomi.
It's night time by now and the beach group is slowly making their way in the jungle. How do they know they're not going to pass the other group on their way up? It's not like there are paths carved out, right? Anyway, Sawyer is being really sweet, and really hot, and asking Hurley if he's okay, ya know, since his best friend just died. Hurley tries to down play it and Sawyer tells him that they'll wait up for him if he wants and Hurley says no, that he'll keep up. Is it wrong that I like Sawyer more when he's making fun of people and glaring. Hotness.
So Hurley gets left behind. We knew this was going to happen, didn't we? He runs to catch up but can't find the guys ahead of him. Instead, he comes up to THE CABIN. You know, the creepiest freakin' cabin known to man that Ben took Locke last season? Seriously, this cabin is freakin' creepy. So Hurley hears whispering and sees a light in THE CABIN and starts for it. He gets up on the porch and looks through the window. Let me just interject here. It was about 1am last Friday night that I was watching this and I was scared shiteless. The only thing more scary then a creepy ass cabin in the jungle is looking through a window at night in a creepy ass cabin.
Hurley sees someone in the room, much in the same way Locke saw "Jacob" last season. The person is rocking in a rocker. Seriously, can the person's face just melt off now and the scary factor will officially hit ten and I'll officially shite my pants. Apparently the producers knew I'd just need a small boost to do so, because then someone pokes their head right in front of Hurley, looking at him through a small hole in the window. Sweet Jesus. This (of course) freaks Hurley out and he goes running. He runs away from THE CABIN, but it doesn't work, everywhere he tries to go THE CABIN is still there. Like herpes, you can't get away from it. Finally, totally freaked out, Hurley falls into a small hole. When he looks up Locke is there. Locke helps him up and they say hey, and then Locke tells Hurley they have to find the others so they can't tell them it wasn't Penny's boat. Did I miss something? How does Locke know that? Did Walt tell him at the end of the last season? If so, shouldn't we have seen that in the recap? I'm confused, but I don't care, it's good!
"Hi, I've come to f*ck with you."
We flash FORWARD and it's Hurley again, this time he's happily playing Connect Four with one of the crazy people at the looney bin. I loved that game! Messy, but I liked it. Someone comes over to Hurley and they tell him he has a visitor. When he goes to meet with him the man tells him he's from Oceanic Airlines and wants to know if Hurley wants and upgrade to a better looney bin, where he can see the ocean from the barred windows. Is this guy slow or something. Hurley doesn't like the idea, and doesn't like this guy, he thinks something's up. He's right to think that because then the guy gets all serious and ask Hurley, "Are they still alive?". Whoa whoa whoa. I am totally getting creeped out now. I love it. Hurley flips out and starts yelling to get this guy away from him. When he turns the guy has gone. Vanished? No, I saw the door close behind him.
We're still in Hurley's flash FORWARD and he's sitting outside of the looney bin. Another patient comes up to him and says some guy is staring at him. When he looks up it's CHARLIE. And can I tell you, the hobbit is looking pretty nice. I mean, he's still, you know, a hobbit, but regardless, he's this close to being hot. No no, not THE HOTNESS, just hot. He wants to know why Hurley ran from him when he saw him in the convenience store. I don't know dude, because you're dead. Actually, I'm quite sure Hurley said almost those exact same words. Charlie tells Hurley that there's something he has to do. Hurley doesn't want to hear this and closes his eyes, willing Charlie to leave. Ya know, last season I would have done the same thing, but like I said, Charlie is lookin' kinda good. When Hurley opens his eyes Charlie is gone. So is the patient who also saw Charlie crazy? I mean, I know that's a rhetorical question given where he is and all, but funny he saw him too.
Back on the island Jack, Rousseau and Ben are still hot on Naomi's trail. Or so they think. The trail stops. Jack gets concerned, realizing Kate could have been right, that there were two trails. Of course, this doesn't send up any red flags as to why Naomi would do that, but what does is the fact that the sat phone is gone. Ben tells Jack that when Kate hugged him she took it. SUCKER! Over to Kate, she's following the trail as well and the sat phone rings. The guy on the other end asks to speak to Naomi. Not wanting to get the boat turned around on them, she hangs up. Just then she feels blood dripping on her and when she looks up Naomi tackles her. She holds a knife to her throat and tells her to give her the phone. Kate tries to explain that Locke is a nutjob and his opinions aren't shared by the rest of the group. The phone rings again and Naomi answers. The dude on the other end is pissed. She tells him to calm down, that she got hurt diving in and the people were nervous about telling them that so they lied. She reprograms the phone so they can track them, tells the guy on the other end to tell her sister she loves her, and then dies. I wish I cared.
Just then the tower group and the beach group meet up at the hull of the plane in a clearing. Locke and Hurley show up as well and everyone points the gun at him. He says maybe now Jack will believe him. They lower their guns. Everyone is reunited. Everyone except for Claire and Charlie. Hurley breaks it to her that he drowned and they comfort each other. About then Jack sees Locke. He throws himself at him and starts beating the crap out of him. Jack needs some anger management classes. Jack gets Locke's gun away from him and Locke gives a speech about how he's not going to shoot him, blah blah, and Jack pulls the trigger! Luckily it's not loaded, but Locke realizes that maybe Jack isn't the big pus we all thought he was. Locke tries to explain that he's just trying to help everybody.
Just then Kate comes back and tells them that Naomi is dead. For real this time. She says the boat's coming to get them. Locke says that these people aren't who they say they are and that they need to be as far away from them as they can. It's the whole, "Come with me if you want to live" line. He says they can go to where the Others used to live and turn on that bad ass security system to protect themselves. Personally I think this is a great idea. Jack blows him off but Hurley says that the last thing Charlie did was warn him about the people coming, so he's going to listen to his friend and go with Locke. Claire also goes. Bernard and Rose (awe) talk about it, but decide to stay with Jack, although that means Rose's cancer will come back. Rousseau, Alex and her boyfriend go as well. Sawyer of course decides to go with Locke and Kate's like, "Wait up, I wanted to take a shower on that boat and then have clean sex with you." Sawyer's like, dude, you're not getting on that boat. Ben asks Jack if he can go with Locke and he's like fine, bye. They all take off, telling them they know where to find them if they need them.
Back in the looney bin Hurley is playing basketball by himself. Jack shows up and is all nice. Hurley says he knows he's there just to make sure he didn't talk. Hurley's right, Jack asks him if he did and Hurley says no. Hurley says that he should have gone with Jack and he's sorry he didn't. Jack just nods like, "told ya so". He then tries to make it light and say that he's going to just relax and maybe grow a beard (must be the flash FOWARD we saw at the season finale!). Hurley warns that "IT" wants them back and Jack says that they're never going back and leaves.
On the island Jack and Kate are heading back to the beach when they hear a helicopter. They see someone parachute out and run to him. He takes off his helmet and looks at them both asking if he's Jack. Bam! End.
So here are my questions, I mean, just a few of them. Who all came back from the island? We know it's Jack, Hurley, and Kate. Also, whoever it was who died in the season finale and Jack went to see at the funeral home. And how did Hurley get back with Jack and Kate to leave the island with them? Maybe the people who left the island are the same that were on that list Michael was given to bring back, Jack, Hurley, and Kate. So could Sawyer have come back too? And who are the other two? Michael and Walt? Oh, and who the hell was that in the rocking chair in THE CABIN. I know exactly who it was, and this is not contested. It was Jack's father Christian. I've seen stills from it and it's definitely him. Plus, the actor was listed in the credits and never showed up except in that moment.
If you haven't already, check out the
webisodes and you get a few more clues, including Jack's dad, and you see Jin go apeshite. Classic.
