A SAD STATE

I've decided not to recap Nip/Tuck weekly. Not because I'm not watching it, I am. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how much longer I can make it. The show had me when Matt was an a**hole. It had me when Sean and Christian killed that guy and dumped his body in the swamp. It had me last season during The Carver. It even had me this season when it hinted that Christian may be in fact, gay. After this week's episode though, it lost me. Well, I'm mostly lost.

I think the problem was last night I watched the season premiere of Grey's and then went right into this. It's apples and oranges, it is. When you compare a show that has consistency and character development and a plot that makes sense in a the everyday, even soap operaish world, it's hard to sit through Nip/Tuck. You know it's bad when the only person that's likable is Matt. And can I say how distracting it is that Matt and Christian are working out in my gym. Yes, the gym I work out in is featured on this show. I was there the day they filmed the scenes. I saw Matt, yes, he still looks like Michael Jackson in person. I didn't see Christian. If I had I would have been naked and probably being arrested and my trainer would have been pissed.

The first three episodes have aired and I'm debating on whether or not to use Tivo space for the rest of the season. When you're hoping it's only a 10 episode season, something's not right.

The basic premise is this, Christian's in love with Sean, or so his therapist, Brooke Shields, told him right before he stuck it to her good. Sean and Julia are together and having a baby, which Julia learned awhile back had a deformity. She didn't tell Sean until it was too late to do anything. Of course, the deformity is having lobster hands, which really isn't that big a deal. It's not like he has Spina Bifida or something obvious. I once met a girl with three fingers. Two fingers and a thumb to be exact. At first I was confused because when I shook her hand I only felt those fingers, but then when she helped put together my roommate's grill and acted completely normal, I got over it. Plus, she wore shirts with long sleeves to cover it up in case some dumbass freaked out on her. Anyway, Sean's not handling this news well and decided to do it with the potential night nurse while driving her home. Talk about random.

I can't feel sorry for Julia either because they tried doing it and it was too awkward with her belly so they gave up and just went to sleep. Look, I'm not trying to be graphic, really I'm not, but there are other ways and things you can do. And then of course, after he has sex with this girl, Julia tries to get freaky with him. If she'd have just done it a few hours earlier. Anyway, that story is just stupid. Sean's an a**hole and he's supposed to be the normal one. The baby's finally born and is as cute as a button. Even his so called "infliction" is kinda cute too. The daughter freaks out though. She's a little bitch lately, cutting her dolls to have lobster hands and taping her own hands to see what it's like. They need to sit her down and tell her instead of her making all this up and then them getting mad at her.

Matt's normal. Yes, I said it. He's normal and he's a Scientologist. You must think I'm nuts but after watching this show, he's normal. He met up with Kimber who if you're keeping up was almost his step-mother. She's a Scientologist and he's gotten into it. It's like he's a man now. A whole different person. If this is supposed to make Scientology look bad it's doing a horrible job. Oh, and remember at the end of the last season when he and the transsexual Cherry shot that white supremacist after he made Matt cut Cherry's wee wee off? Well, we learned from a throw away line from Matt that the guy's now in jail. What the hell? The most interesting thing to happen last season is explained by yeah, the guy went to jail and nothing happened to Matt? I'm glad nothing happened to him and we weren't treated to a year of him sullen over what he did like when he ran over that chick, but still, we deserved a little more then that.

When Christian started to realize he may be gay just because his therapist mentioned Sean's his only good relationship, I thought this may be a good idea. Not the stupid ass reasoning, but because I couldn't wait to see him in a scene with Mario Lopez. ( please see above butt picture) Christian's not gay (unfortunately) he's just incapable of having a mature, loving relationship. Just because he can't have that with a woman doesn't mean he's gay. That's moronic.

Sanaa Lathan is now on the show. I've always loved her. Unfortunately I hate her now. Her husband, Larry Hagman, had his balls enlarged. Great. And then they bought the practice from Sean and Christian, so theoretically the guys would have more time to do whatever it is they want to do. It's not really working out that way because they keep scheduling free surgeries which can't be cost efficient. Liz also happened to see Sanaa in the parking lot with Jacqueline Bisset who she gave two large stacks of cash to and then made out with. Whu whu whu? Okay, the making out thing I could see happening, maybe they have a thing, but who the frak carries around two huge bundles of cash in their purse, wrapped with the bank tag thing? This is just so stupid. And after Liz saw her fondled and kissed by JB, she approached her to tell her it was okay to come out as a lesbian. Why? That's so inappropriate to say to your boss. Sanaa was pissed and tried to fire her. Whatever.

I'm going to give it until the end of this season. The only reason I'm even giving it that long is because that tattooed guy is coming back. Not really sure how that's going to work out since they changed his entire face to make him look like that wanted guy to get him arrested. I guess the police figured out it wasn't him by I don't know, his voice, DNA, and the other guy running around and he got out, went to another plastic surgeon and got his face put back right. Oh, and Peter Dinklage is going to be their night nurse. I'm sure someone will have sex with him. Let's just hope it's not the little girl. I really hope this show redeems itself, and soon.

TYRA TYRA TYRA

I really can't wait for the good shows to start. Not that reality isn't great, because from looking at my blog I'm sure you realize how much of it I watch. Grey's Anatomy is tonight, and soon LOST, Battlestar Galactica, The Nine which you HAVE to watch, and then my personal favorite (most of the time) 24 in January. Until then, or until someone tells me to stop, I may be forced to talk about the mind numbing reality shows. Of course The Amazing Race doesn't count in my disdain because it's just such good TV.

Anyway, last night we were treated to two whole hours of Tyra. The show started off a bit confusing, with what looked like only 13 or so girls. Usually the season starts out with at least triple that many so Tyra can weed them all out. Miss J was there to greet them at the airport where they immediately had a photo shoot. This was just a fancy way of getting their mug shot for our reference. Turns out, there were more girl, about thirty or so of them. Now, I know models aren't supposed to be the prettiest girls. That sounds like an oxymoron, and it is. Some of these girls are dogs. Woof woof. I actually had to look away from some of them, although Tyra and the Jays thought they were better then sliced bread. Oh, and their bodies. Good God they needed a Good Humor truck to set. STAT!

Unlike last year, with Jade, none of the girls seemed downright rude. A few a little sure of themselves. That's to be understood though, they were just chosen out of what Tyra or someone tells us is tens of thousands of people. Tyra and the Jays knock the girls down to just twenty or so, and they head off for their first photo shoot. It's going to be in the buff, on top of some seedy ass looking hotel. I think maybe they're down by the airport or something.

Most of the girls are down for the nakedness. One girl in particular, whose name I can't remember at the moment, thinks she'll be disowned by her family if she does this and starts crying. I'd be crying too, but not because of that. Because I'm not trying to be naked in front of forty or so people. Plus, because this isn't the best hotel in the area, it's not the tallest, and you can see all the buildings around it. Now, you'd have to have binoculars and/or a telescope to really see anything from another building, but don't tell me some pervert doesn't have that. I guess if you go through all of that trouble in the first place, you deserve to get an eye full.

The other girls try to encourage and rag on the girl for not doing it, and it is quite stupid, if you want to be there, do whatever you have to do. Eventually she gets up enough courage to do it, but only for two frames, then she chickens out. Good for her for overcoming her fear. It just irritated me that it wasn't a fear of showing her body, it was a fear of grandma and grandpa back home. Get over it. Seriously.

Tyra then chooses her thirteen girls. I really don't like ragging on other women, but damn, these bitches are not cute. There's one in particular, Anchal. I put a picture above this. Now, she's not horrible, she's not, but she is not cute either. She does take a good picture, so in person, or at least on TV she's much uglier. Good for her for workin' it though. Ick.

Monique.

When the girls get to the house, the claws come out, big time. Now, it seemed like Eugena would be the bitch of the house. She told us earlier how she liked talking about people behind their back. Yeah, I'm gonna like her. And what I find a little eerie is she looks a lot like Eugenia from Days of Our Lives. Bizarre. Anyway, turns out, she's not the bitch. Monique's the bitch. She seemed really nice during the interviews, something about all her sisters are light skinned and she was always the dark/ugly one. I felt sorry for her, until they got to the house. Apparently, getting 13 women together in one house isn't drama enough for the producers. They took a page from Flavor of Love and didn't put enough beds in the house. This is just messed up, truly. Everyone had a bed but Monique and one other girl. While the other girls left the room, Monique took it upon herself to take Eugena's things off her bed, and then pour water on it. When Eugena walked back in, Monique claimed the bed, saying she peed in it to keep it. Ewe. I was hoping the bitchiness came out, but Eugena fought for a second, but then conceded. What the hell? I want a cat fight. And then later, when the girls were talking about sharing the house, Monique said she couldn't deviate in her routine, and take less then an hour to shower. What a bitch. I'm sorry, I don't like calling girls out like that, but she really is. None of the girls like her. See, this is why I like Flavor of Love. On that show, the girls would get pissed, yell, Flav would come in, review the tape, and give the bed back to Eugena. Not here, Tyra and her crew don't care what happens in the house. That annoys me.

During the challenge, the girls have to make a seemingly male outfit into a female one. Melrose, yes, that's a girl, wins the challenge. The prize is a being treated like a diva during her photo shoot. The photo shoot, always themed around actual Tyra photo shoots, Jay tells us will be the most controversial. Each girl will represent a stereotype of what a supermodel is. A diva, a black woman made to look white, a bulimic, an anorexic, blah blah blah. It's interesting, but the girls are boring. Some of them really hit the mark though. There is a set of twins, Michelle and Amanda, who I'm sure Tyra will change drastically come make-over time. One can't walk at all in high heels, they're both very average looking, but damn they can model pretty well. It's the first real shoot, so we'll see how they do, but I liked them.

Melrose was treated to a nice massage during the waiting around, and she had an assistant. Unfortunately, it seemed all of that went to her head because when it was her turn, she was nowhere to be found. Actually, they found her and she was nit-picking her make-up. Apparently the massage she had messed the make-up up and they had to redo it. That's what she told Jay though, who wasn't having it. He didn't like the idea of waiting 10 minutes for a diva. She wanted to cry, but that would have messed the make-up more and so she sucked at her shoot.

Michelle

When it was time for elimination, most of the girls had pretty bad photos. I mean they looked okay, but nothing like they were supposed to. The girls don't know their angles yet, or the idea of lighting, virtually nothing. The twins did a good job. Tyra really needs to get out of ugly Anchal's ass too. It came down to Melrose because of her awful picture and attitude at the shoot, and Christian, who they thought was just boring. It was Christian who got kicked out. I wasn't sad, but I did think Melrose deserved another change, enough though she's a little long in the tooth.

DANING WITH THE STARS

Crap. Okay, I got home and my roommate was watching this show. I really didn't want to watch it. Just like Rockstar: Supernova I was sucked in. Now I think I'll have to watch it. Hopefully not the results show. I really don't like committing two hours on the same show, unless someone's naked, and by someone I mean Sawyer.

This is the second week of the show, and I think everyone did a great job. Hahaha. Did you actually believe that? The "celebrities" on the show are Willa Ford, Harry Hamlin, Shanna Moakler, Emmitt Smith, Joey Lawrence, Monique Coleman, Vivica A. Fox, Sara Evans, Mario Lopez and Jerry Springer. Tucker Carlson was kicked off last week if anyone cares. I sure didn't, until last night. Damn you Tivo! As you can see from the list, no Oscar winning actors, the best we could do is Emmitt Smith, top in his field. I'm sure he has a Superbowl ring or two. As you can see, baseball is not my thing. Oh, I know he plays football.

The first dancer was Willa Ford who I couldn't have picked out of a lineup before last night, and who host Tom Bergeron tells us is a pop star. I think he meant "porn" star because I've never seen her. Then again, if she was a porn star I may have seen her. The best part of her dancing was Maksim, her partner. He cut his hair, thank goodness, from last week and he's sporting a nice do, a bit long for my taste, but he works it. And really, in the pants these dancers wear, you gotta work something.

The house band is nice, they sound a lot like the performers who perform the songs they're singing. I think the most appealing part of the show, for the regular viewers is hearing the contemporary songs. That's until Shanna Moakler. I didn't really want to watch this dumb ho dance, so I was hoping for a good song. Imagine my surprise when they started playing Kriss Kross "Jump! Jump!" or whatever it's called. Yes, ladies and gentleman, Kriss Kross. For those of you who have taste in music and never actually listened to this song, it was a 90s rap song by two pre-teen boys who wore their pants backwards. And no, I have absolutely no idea who picked this song. I'm thinking Shanna picked it out, hoping the oddity of this song would distract people long enough to miss her awful dancing. I thought I was watching my 70 year old grandmother. Not that my grandmother can't dance, in fact, she'd be more interesting to watch then this skank.

I almost fell asleep during Sara Evans performance. And really, who the hell is she? First off, she's a little thick around the middle. There's nothing wrong with it, really, it's just odd. Secondly, they need to not show glimpses of her fans anymore. Oh wait, those weren't her fans, they were her family. She was so sad because of the criticism last week, she had to fly her and her partner Tony to Tennessee to cheer her up. Um, maybe they should have spent more time dancing and less time flying to the Appalachians because she sucked.

I had to go into the kitchen to make dinner during Mario Lopez's dance, but it sounded exciting. Unfortunately the judges didn't like it. They had sticks lodged up their asses and couldn't get comfortable enough in their seat to really give it their full attention. You know who's dance they did like? Joey Lawrence. I liked his dancing too, in that video he did when he was on Blossom, you remember that? Ripped jeans and a sweater around his waist. He was hot. Not so much anymore. He did something no man should do unless they're going bald, he shaved his head. Okay, some guys can do it, Michael Scofield comes to mind. Hold on, he's still in my mind....... Anyway, Michael and Lincoln for that matter can pull it off, but Joey Lawrence? No. His hair was his thing. Now he looks creepy. Plus, he gets all nervous and sweaty and he has these veins that are popping out. Regardless of how he looked, he danced his ass off. He even threw in the tap dance routine he did when he was five, on The Tonight Show. How does he still know that? I'm thinking he busts it out during Blossom and Gimme A Break reunions every year. He was given two 10s, which completely amazed me, I mean him.

I never thought this sentence would come out of my mouth, and technically it's not, but here goes. I like Jerry Springer. He's so charming, there's something very sweet about him. His partner hurt her knee and he said his concern for her is greater then being on the show. I know most rational humans would say that regardless, but it's still nice to hear a "celebrity" say that.

The funniest part of the night came when we were watching rehearsals with Vivica A. Fox. Her partner was trying to show her a kick. Vivica busted out the diva and told us that "Vivica knows how to kick, Vivica was in Kill Bill". Hahaha. That's awesome. I was totally watching the marathon on TNT this weekend. Unfortunately, Carrie Ann points out that it's called a "fan" not a roundhouse kick. Hey Carrie Ann, stop picking on her, she did it didn't she?

Lastly Emmitt Smith rocked it out. Not unlike Jerry Rice last season, or whenever that was, this guy has rhythm and he flows. The crowd loved him and Carrie Ann was so happy she almost cursed. Not just a normal curse either, the big one. The "F" one. The one ABC would have been paying out of the "F"in' ass for. That would have been awesome.

Did I really just talk about Dancing With The Stars? Crap.

MEN IN TREES (I WISH)

So last week, when I got back from the East Coast, I was as sick as a dog. I didn't have energy to do anything, except lay on the couch and watch TV, even that was a chore. So you know I must have been sick. By the second day, I had watched all of my Tivo'd shows. It was Friday night, I'm usually out on Fridays ;-) but I happened to be fighting the effects of TheraFlu when a show came on called Men in Trees. It's with Anne Heche, who I either love or hate. Last thing I saw her in was Nip/Tuck and she was great in that, so I thought I'd give it a try. I loved this show. I found out later it's produced by the same people who did Sex and the City, so no wonder.

Basically the shows about Marin Frist (Heche) who's a relationship self help guru. She has a wonderful fiancée , Graham, great friends, including her publicist, Jane, and even a sorta stalker, Annie. Her life is good. On her way to a speaking engagement in Elmo, Alaska, she discovers from Graham's laptop which she accidentally took, that he's been cheating on her. She wallows her sorrows in a bar run by ER's Abraham Benrubi, giving me little hope his character on ER survives being shot by Sam's husband at the end of last season.

Things aren't like New York in Elmo. For one, the man/woman ratio is 10:1. Nearly every person she sees is a man. Um, excuse me while I book a trip to Elmo, Alaska. I hope this town is fictional because if it's not, it's going to be swarmed by single desperate women. Did I just call myself desperate? Anyway, her stalker, Annie, has followed her up there after hearing about her break-up with Graham. Annie's harmless, and probably good for Marin to see a familiar (female) face. Annie thinks everything Marin says is gospel, but after being blindsided by a cheating mate, Marin doesn't have as much confidence as she once did.

In the inn she's staying in, sharing a bathroom with her, is Sara, the local prostitute. The guy who runs the inn, Patrick, is played by Derek Richardson. He played the younger version of Harry in the Dumb and Dumber sequel/prequel. He's absolutely adorable and also does the morning radio show, which he wants Marin to guest on. Marin also hooks him up with Annie, which is a great match, they both love and have read all her books, following her "dogma" as well.

After having a few too many to drink, Marin goes to her lecture, which of course is attended by all men, one in particular man, Jack. Guys in movies or shows named Jack are almost always sexy and strong. This one is one of those. There's an immediate attraction, with me and Jack. He has a dog, tracks bears, pulls her out of the ice water when she accidentally falls in. They huddle together in his observation cabin thingy, naked, to keep warm. She thinks she has him pegged, because she knows just what all men want and are really trying to say. Unfortunately, he's not like most men, neither are most of the men in Elmo, which fascinates her.

Her publicist and friend, Jane, comes to get her, she has an appearance on Oprah, but after the experience with Jack, Marin wants to stay. She was going to write a new book on finding the right man and getting married, but since that didn't work out, she's going to stick around Elmo and write her next book.

This show is cute, clever, and I just love it. Of course Marin gets into the typical city girl in a country town trouble. She blow dries her hair which shorts out the whole town. Everyone hates her because they can't watch the big football game. She ends up getting drunk and going home with a stranger in the town who turns out to be Jack's brother. They didn't sleep together but you can tell Jack's a bit jealous when he thinks that. This is the time that Graham decides to come try and win her back, in the bar that everyone's hanging out. He makes the mistake of commenting that he knows she wouldn't sleep with this guy because she's predictable and would never do anything like that. I guess he thought it was a compliment. Jack gets up and says that he slept with her. This prompts all the people who were mad at her, to realize how bad she had it, and how much she likes it in their little town. Everyone stands up and says they slept with her, making her realize what a family these people are going to be. Can you tell I like this show??? Tune in on Friday nights on ABC at 9pm. Tivo it if you have a date!

THE REAL RACE

All this talk about race, let's move on to the only race that counts, The Amazing Race. Ha, you liked that didn't you? Sunday night the best reality show on TV kicked off the 10th season. I think it's the 10th. I've only seen one or two teams I think I'm going hate, which is fun, and not fun, but I'm just happy there's some good TV on again.

This year we start out in Seattle, rainy, dreary Seattle. I'm not complaining because we're watching The Race! Plus it reminds me of another show that starts this week that I can't wait to see. Grey's! We meet all of the teams, too hard to go through them all, but if you need a reminder of who everyone is, take a look at this... http://primetimetvblog.blogspot.com/2006/08/amazing-race-time.html

Phil gives his typical spiel and tells us that this year there'll be new surprises around each bend, and to expect anything. He then sends them on their way. We find out the first destination is China. Yay, China. There are two flights leaving Seattle, United and Korean Air, leaving about a half an hour apart. What I love about this show is the unpredictability. We don't know, the flights could get in with the first one getting in last. Not this time though.

Kentucky

The teams race out, in their nice Mercedes SUVs. A few teams have trouble driving it. Wait, not just driving it, starting it. That's just sad, really. I have to note, there are a few teams that fascinate me. The first being Peter and Sarah. Sarah has one leg. Don't cry for her though, not only is she a world class athlete who runs the Iron Man, but she's dating her leg repair guy. How convenient. They're cute. Also, two friends, Bilal and Sa'eed, who are Muslim, are traveling with the group. I'm concerned they'll be stopped by TSA at every airport. Let's hope not. Also with us is a couple from Kentucky, David and Mary. I have to admit, my prejudgement was working overtime. (Damn you Survivor!) I don't want to sh*t talk anyone, but seriously, did you see her teeth? She looks like she took a bite out of brownie and then smiled. But she wasn't eating a brownie.

I accidently posted this picture with the rest, but couldn't take it down because that's just too funny.

Traffic slowed a lot of the teams down, but Peter was able to get off the freeway and get around it. Also slowing some people down were the instructions at the airport. They had to drop their car off at the Thrifty parking lot, but some people took that as dropping it off at the car rental area, a whole different part of the airport. I knew something was up since when they showed the car rental area sign, it went into slow motion. Thanks Amazing Race people for pointing that out to me. This is why they have Emmys! Everyone finally made it to the airport, half on one plane, half an another, getting in an hour apart. When they board, they ask if anyone needing special assistance needs to get on the plane first. Sarah uses her leg as an excuse and this pisses off some of the teams, especially Lyn and Karlyn who say she can't say she needs help and run the Iron Man at the same time. I completely agree with this. If you're gonna use it, use it to get OFF the plane, not onto it. We've seen this before, but done in a much better way by Charla, the little person from a few seasons ago. She pulled it out only when it was beneficial, so that all the teams, and us, knew she was just doing it for that. We'll have to see how this plays out later in episodes but I hope she uses it in a good manipulative way.

That's one way to use chopsticks

Once in China though, the first flight was delayed by about twenty minutes, allowing the second flight people to catch up. The first place they had to go to was the "Gold House". There they realized it was a Roadblock. A Roadblock is a challenge that only one team member can do. Man, I love the first episode, it's always so fast, but come to think of it, they're all this fast paced. This Roadblock the person has to be "hungry". Okay, I would totally do it. I'm hungry right now. Although, it turns out the person has to eat between 6-8 fish eyes. They're boiled, at least. They have to pick them out with the chopsticks. Okay, the Korean team is so gonna rule this one. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all Survivor on you.

The teams start arriving and doing it. They're not having too bad a time with it. Once the teams finish, they have to go to The Forbidden City and pick times for the next morning. 7, 7:15 and 7:30. We're also told there's a surprise waiting there as well. Please let it be Phil, please let it be Phil. On their way to the Gold House, the Miss USA girls have a cab driver that takes them to the wrong place. They waste alot of time going around and trying to find the right place. As the teams arrive at The Forbidden City, it's Vipul and Arti and Bilal and Sa'eed who roll up last. Vipul and Arti pull the second to last tag, and it's Bilal and Sa'eed who pull the last tag, which simply says "Last Team". Uh oh. Suddenly, Phil appears, with the mat. The other teams gather around as Bilal and Sa'eed get to him and Phil tells them that they knew there'd be different twists and turns, and this is one of them, even though it's not a Pit Stop, they're being eliminated from The Race. This is such a sad time, really. These guys seemed really nice. Some of the other teams are even tearing up a bit.

I just love Lauren's eyes in this.

Well, you shouldn't cryver spilled milk. Back to the race. The next morning the groups leave in intervals and make their way by motorcycle and side car to pedicab stand where they'll get their next clue from the manager of the stand. With Peter and Sarah, Sarah tells us that there's hydraulic fluid leaking out of her fake knee. It just makes her running a bit harder. Hey, be thankful you are running. Sorry. She's starting to irritate me.

The first group makes it there and we find out it's a Detour. A Detour's a choice between two tasks. Labor and Leisure. In Labor the teams go lay some bricks in a pattern. In Leisure, they have to go participate in a dance that looks a lot like Thai Chi and you have to balance a ball on a paddle. Most people choose the bricks, which is harder then they look. What the teams take awhile to figure out is that there are grey bricks on the outside they have to position.

Tyler and James come in and immediately figure this out. I thought for sure I'd hate these two, but I kinda like them. They're best friends who met in rehab. After they finish the brick laying, the next clue says to make their way to The Great Wall of China. How exciting. Once there they have to scale a vertical wall to make it to Phil. The Cheerleader team and Tom and Terry decide to do the Leisure instead. The cheerleaders think because they have coordination they'll be able to do it. Never underestimate a Queen though. Tom and Terry finish first and head off to The Great Wall.

Peter and Sarah make it to The Great Wall around the same time as Tyler and James, but unfortunately they go up it the wrong way. The messed up thing about this is Sarah runs up the steps, lots of steps, with Peter encouraging her the whole way, until they realize they went the wrong way. Poor girl. Poor cameraman too, she was flying up those steps. They finally make it to the wall and start climbing. Tyler and James gets there and up and over pretty quickly, making it to the mat first. Phil tells them that they've won $20,000. You can buy a lot of heroine for that price. Sarah struggles going up the wall but the girl has some great upper body strength and pushes her way up. Peter yells how proud he is of her.

Another proud team is Duke and Lauren. Lauren even breaks into tears watching her father complete it. I admit I got a little teary eyed too. The team I'm really worried about is Lyn and Karlyn. Not because they're black, Mark Burnett, but they don't look like they work out. Unfortunately it looks like Vipul and Arti may be eliminated, the other teams race by them at the brick laying. Editing makes it look like some come and leave before they even have the outer grey area layed.

Most of the teams struggle up the wall, and I'm thinking one of them is going to have to really mess up for them to do their normal fancy editing to make me wonder who's going to make it. Then I thought, hey, they've already done an elimination, maybe they won't get eliminated. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and Vipul and Arti were eliminated. All in all a good start, and I can't wait to see what happens, hopefully Sarah's knee will stop leaking hydraulic fluid. Ick.

I LOVE RACISM

Okay, that's not entirely true. Wait, that's not true at all. I don't love racism, but America does. The new season of Survivor kicked off, and I have to give myself props for calling this one. I was really hoping that this new "twist", dividing the tribes by race, would maybe be positive. I don't know how it could be positive, but I was hoping, I really was. The only positive thing I could say, is it really gave each team a good camaraderie, although we saw good camaraderie when they were divided into gender and age as well, so I can't say the race thing is what brought it together.

I'm still torn on whether to not to watch the show. I think I'm going to stick with it, holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, we'll come away with something more then what's to be expected.

The show starts off like all the others, Jeff telling the gangs on the boat they have however many minutes to do their thing, and then jump off the boat and get to their camps. We get to meet the members of the teams, no one really standing out yet, besides the hot guys. Am I racist to think there aren't any hot black guys? What's up with that?

What's interesting is Jeff didn't tell the groups they were being divided by race, I would have liked to see their reaction. Instead, we have people comment on something they've obviously known about for awhile, at least since they put on their team colors, way before we meet up with them in the boat. A few people think it's a bit, um, RACIST, to do it, but say it in a nice way. Probably the way the producers told them to say it. But regardless, the teams row their way to their respective beach. Luckily, there's one person in each group who decide to perpetuate the stereotypes. All except in the white group, interesting. Of course, they call themselves the "whitey" group, which is, I have to say, funny. Surprisingly, I didn't see any boobies. I thought for sure I'd see some boobies popping out, as everyone tries to hurry. I'm sure we'll see boobies soon.

Everyone starts out building a shelter and getting some food. Good idea. Can I take this minute and talk about race? What I find interesting is all the Asian people are different races within the Asian culture. I see, it's the "American" version of Survivor. A few people begin to stand out as leaders, i.e., the first people to get kicked off. Sekou, from, you guessed it, the black tribe, begins suggesting ways to put the shelter together. They also start trying to make fire, but he gets tired and goes to sleep. Oh look, a lazy black man on Survivor. It's like old times.

Over with the Asians, Cao Boi becomes the dominant male. I don't know what's more interesting, the fact that he pronounces his name, "Cowboy", which is totally awesome, or that he's a nail salon manager, because that's not a stereotype at all. When Brad, one of his fellows Asians has a head ache, Cao Boi does some sort of Asian trick saying he has "bad wind". My roommate has bad wind sometimes, we just light a match or something. After doing some sort of a ritual to get rid of the bad wind, poor Brad has a red mark on his forehead, which he doesn't really mind because his headache is gone. Now that mark just hurts to high hell.

The Hispanics have Billy. He's loud and probably annoying and doesn't really know what he's doing, but wants people to see him as a leader. Did he watch the past seasons? There's also JP and Ozzy. Aahh, JP and Ozzy, dreamy.

Over with the "whiteys", they're doing alright. Jonathan was able to snag two chicken off of the boat, stealing one from the Asians. I half expected the black guys to steal it and the white guys to get mad, "I hate it when these black guys steal our jobs, I mean chickens". I don't think he meant to, it just happened. So he says anyway. A tribes mate of his is Jessica, her profession? "Rollergirl". I hate all these people. She does know that's in reference to a porn movie right? Oh, but she doesn't like to be called "Rollergirl", or even her given name, Jessica, no, she prefers, "Flica". Yes, that says, "Flica". Like the horse. I can't stand it when people give themselves stupid ass nicknames. Not only is her name stupid, so is she. Remember those chickens Jonathan worked so hard to steal? Well she walks by the pen, which in her defense was just a box turned upside down, and lifts it up. The chickens run out, happy to be free. They're fast little suckers. Everyone tries to chase them, but to no avail. The best part about it is they can hear the chickens clucking or crowing or whatever it is they do, but they can't get to them. Hahah, Flica.

We finally get to the challenge. The winning teams will get flint, and the top team will get a fire making kit, in case they're all morons and can't use the flint. Three teams will get flint and immunity, one will get nothing and have to go to tribal council. The challenge consists of constructing a boat in sections, paddling out, lighting a torch, coming back, putting four puzzles together, using the braces from the boat to build a ladder, putting the puzzles into the ladder, everyone climbing it, and then lighting the final fire. Puzzles and swimming, I really hope it doesn't work out like I think it will.

The challenge starts and immediately the Asian team is doing well putting the boat together, as well as the Hispanic team. Look, I know all the teams have traditional Survivor tribe names, but will we really be calling them that? No. The African-American team is just having a really hard time, in fact, they don't even get their boat together by the time the Asian team makes it back with their fire. They do catch up enough to really be neck and neck with the white tribe. Unfortunately, the white people beat them. I mean, beat them to the fire. Luckily there is some payback. The losing team's able to choose someone to go to Exile Island. Oh, we're doing that again? Because they don't know any of the dynamics yet, because of the chicken fiasco, the AA team chooses Jonathan from the white team. It's sorta messed up, but interesting none the less. This time Exile Island isn't nearly as cool, it's just a sandbar. Boring!

So the black team is first to tribal council. The team is set up, three girls, two guys. Of course the guys are on the chopping block. And of course it's Sekou, who tried to be the leader but then got lazy on them. Also, two of the girls have bonded, making the third one a swing vote. The guys try to get her, and when it's time to vote, she sides with the ladies and votes out Sekou. The best part about the voting is to see all the different wants they've spelled this poor guy's name.

It's still the game of Survivor, no doubt about that, but like I said, I'm not convinced it's a good thing.