I have three gray hairs spouting right in the middle of my head and I blame Fox. This and 24 are making me crazy. I love them both, I do, but I'm going to be either bald or gray haired if I have to take much more of this. I mean nowhere as frustrating as being in jail for a crime I didn't commit, but you get the idea.
Last we left our lovely Michael Schofield, he had checked himself into Crazyville to reconnect with his old celly, Haywire. I guess for a few hours, probably a day or so, he's been trying to get Haywire to remember him. It's not really working because they have Haywire medicated. I guess they need them all medicated because they walk around without any shackles like they own the place. Anyway, Michael finally gets Haywire to remember he's the guy who stole his toothpaste. Not really what he was looking for, but a start I guess. Before he can get any more information a stupid nurse interrupts. It's time to make the doughnuts. Oh wait, sorry, wrong memory bank. It's time for Michael's pills. He's not really into the whole drug thing, but he thanks her for the offer. She insists and even has the big orderly dudes come up. They tell him that if he doesn't swallow it they'll put it up the "rear door". I really want to see this, but alas, it doesn't happen, Michael takes the pills. He opens his mouth so the orderly can confirm he swallowed them. When the guy walks away he spits them out. Not sure how he did that, but I'll just go with it. Michael goes to Haywire and tries to get him to remember him again, that he drew his tattoo from memory and he needs him to do it again. Unfortunately the drugs have taken effect and Haywire's back to staring stupidly out of the window.
Typical man, missing the bowl.
In Michael and Sucre's cell, C.O. Geary (the one that steals sh*t, like Michael's watch) and Bellick are talking. Since Sucre's in the SHU and Michael's all crazy and such, the cell is up for grabs. Seeing they're both douches, they realize that it's prime real estate, and someone is bound to pay for it, and that they'll auction it off to the highest bidder. Later, Geary shows the cell to an old inmate who offers him $200 for it. Geary agrees and when the guy's leaving, he notices the leak in the toilet. We all know why the toilet's leaking right? RIGHT? It's because there's a big hole in it from where Michael's detached it from the wall to get around. Geary tells the inmate that he'll put a work order in within 24 hours. T-Bag overhears this and when Geary comes out asks him if it's still Michael's cell. Geary says that it's not.
Westmoreland and C-Note are trading stories about their daughters, bonding really. It's quite nice. Westmoreland shows him a pocket watch his wife gave him, with a picture of their daughter in it. I'm sure this'll come into play later. C-Note feels bad for him and Westmoreland confides that his daughter's doctors think she has probably a week or two left to live. Just then T-Bag arrives and tells them what's going down with Michael's cell. When he tells them that Geary's asking $200 for it, C-Note's confident he can get that.
C-Note goes to Geary and inquires about the lovely piece of reality in A-Block. Geary high balls him and says he's getting $250 for it and C-Note says he'll double it. Geary's intrigued and says that he doesn't want him to pay him in tube socks, cigarettes and blow jobs. C-Note gets it and says he'll get the money.
In Crazytown, Michael's having craft time with clay. He's really working it good. He has nice and rough hands, that- Oh, sorry, there I go again. Anyway, he approaches Haywire and tells him he has a surprise for him in the broom closet. Never a good place to see surprises, but under the not so watchful eye of the orderlies or whoever watches these crazy murders, Michael takes Haywire into the closet. He pushes him against the wall and tells him he has something in his teeth. Oh, that's nice he's gonna help- HOLY CRAP! Ewe, he puts his fingers down his throat and makes him throw up the pills he took. You know how much I love Michael but that's sorta nasty. Haywire wants to know why he did it and he says that he used to call them "invisible cuffs" and that he used to hate them. Haywire's too stunned to say anything and walks out.
This kid is always crying
In the SHU, the C.O. tells Lincoln that he has a phone call, that it's his son, and it's an emergency. Later, on the phone, he's lecturing LJ on trying to kill Kellerman. Not really a great spot to be doing that from, but I guess he has to be fatherly. LJ's pissed and says he doesn't care what happens, that he's tired of them always winning. Lincoln just has him put Veronica back on the phone. She says that he's being charged with attempted murder and the murders of his mother and stepfather. Basically he's fraked. Veronica said it wouldn't be as bad if LJ would just show some remorse. Yes, it's always better when a double homicide defendant shows remorse, makes me not want to kill him slowly and painfully, lethal injection will do. Lincoln thinks that if he could just see him, he'd listen. Veronica says she'll try to get him a visit, but she doubts it'll work. She's miss negative pants lately isn't she?
Meanwhile, C-Note's in the yard to find one of his boys, Trumpets. I wonder if C-Note's name used to be Middle C, but that's too long to say, and no one really got it so they switched it to C-Note. Anyway, he tells Trumpets that he wants all outstanding debts collected immediately. Trumpets agrees. Trumpets it kinda a weak name don't you think? Trombone, that'd be my name.
Kellerman's driving in the street, minding his own business, when he's ambushed by Brinker. She's pissed that LJ, a sixteen year old pothead, tracked him down. Why's she mad at him, he's not the one who scrawled his own name on the well. You'd think he'd be questioning LJ on how he did it, maybe hire him on in "The Company". Nope, she's pissed at Kellerman, seeing that now he's a witness in a criminal investigation, not too inconspicuous. When Kellerman tries to explain himself she cuts him off, says he's off the case and no longer in the Secret Service. Ouch.
Michael's still trying to work on Haywire and now I'm getting frustrated. Just tell him already damnit. Haywire's still just staring off and an orderly comes to get him for group therapy. As they're pulling him off Haywire whispers that it's a path. Michael smiles, thinking he's getting through. Can he work a little faster please? Lincoln's still on death row.
Um, those socks take "D" size batteries
C-Note is cooling in the yard when Clarinets comes by with the rest of the woodwind section. They walk over to a more secluded part of the yard so this can't be good. Oboes tells him that he doesn't have anything to give him, that all of the outstanding stuff that was owed to C-Note, are now his. You could have told him this earlier instead of making him wait. Flutes tells him that since he's friends with the P.I. crew, that he's not in their group anymore. C-Note's not afraid of Piccolos and says that it's still his money. Well, I guess it's not. Alto Saxophone and his boys beat poor C-Note up, with batteries in a sock and kick him while he's down. That's low.
This is how most of my dreams start
In with Michael, he fakes taking the pills again but watches as Haywire dutifully swallows his. After the orderly walks away Haywire gets Michael's attention and they go to the broom closet. again. Haywire makes himself throw the pills up. I hate throwing up. Why he didn't just not swallow them like Michael I'll never know. He says that Michael was right about the pills. Michael then starts undressing and for a moment I'm on Cloud 9, all my troubles drifting away, then I'm snapped back to reality. Haywire studies the tattoo and says that he remembers.
In the lunch hall, C-Note joins T-Bag and Westmoreland, all beat up, but not as bad as you would think he'd be after being attacked by ten guys. He says he's not going to get the money they need. T-Bag points out that D.B. Cooper could get the money, since he's all rich and what not. Westmoreland's still hanging on to the lie that he's not D.B. Cooper, and even if he was, there's no visitation today and couldn't get the money from the outside anyway. There's one thing they could do though, "The Kitchen Game". I've played "The Kitchen Game" before, in involves plates and a whole bunch of lard. "The Kitchen Game" they're talking about though is a poker game that happens in the kitchen, run by a guy named Jesus. C-Note doesn't think gambling is the best way to get the money. What, and shaking people down is? T-Bag assures them that he has the quickest draw in the West and there's only five people in the country that can do what he does to a deck of cards. Personally, I don't want to know what he does to a deck of cards, it's probably gross. If he gets caught cheating though in the kitchen with the knives isn't the best place. I'm wondering why they have knives around a whole bunch of murderers and felons, but welcome to the Illinois State Correctional System. They just need the $50 start up money to get in. Westmoreland drops his head, knowing where to get the money.
The last thing you wanna do is turn your back on a con, especially if you're half naked
Michael and Haywire are wandering around the facility and go into a cell. Isn't anyone monitoring these people? I'd think these are the ones you'd want to spend most of your resources on, seeing they're homicidal AND crazy, but that's just me I guess. Michael takes his shirt off again and, uh, um, so they, something. Crap, I lost my train of thought. He shows him the tattoo on his back and takes the bandage off. Haywire starts sketching and remembering where everything goes, and says stuff about pilgrims and pointing and some other crazy person talk I don't remember. Manche, Sucre's cousin, is picking up the laundry. Michael hurries over and says he wants him to get a message to Sucre. He wants to tell him that he's okay and he's trying to fill in the blanks, that he'll know what that means. When Michael turns back around to Haywire, Manche notices the burn on Michael's back and remembers the hole in the guard's uniform he got for Sucre. He puts two and two together. Not saying that's too difficult. I mean what'd he think they were using the outfit for? They weren't playing dress up.
Westmoreland goes into Michael's cell under the guise of looking to purchase it, in his old age and all. He sees the bible he passed to Michael that had the hundred dollar bill in it to prove to him that he was D.B. Cooper. Without Geary seeing, Westmoreland lifts the bible and low balls Geary for the price of the cell which of course he doesn't take and makes Westmoreland leave. He gives the hundred dollar bill to T-Bag and C-Note so that they have the money. While they talk, C-Note watches Trumpets, who's watching him. T-Bag says for this to work he can't be winning, C-Note will have to. He's not really a card playa, he's a lova. T-Bag tells him to just bet big and never fold whenever he's dealing. Since no one would ever think they're working together, it's the perfect rouse, although if they've been watching them lately they'll know they're working together.
"You want the wireless headset. Trust me, wireless."
Nick's still searching around for that damned phone charger. What kind of phone did this dude have? Anyway, while he's in the store, a man in a trench coat approaches him. He asks how Veronica is. Oh, I knew this dude was no good. The guy threatens him and says he has to keep an eye on Veronica, that pretty soon they're gonna call in their favor, unless he wants to go back on the deal they made. Nick's a bit uneasy and says he doesn't want to go back on the deal and the man leaves, saying he'll be in touch.
This is not the face you want to meet in a dark alley
Michael sees Haywire all drugged up again and I have to be honest, I'm getting sorta tired of this. Anyway, he coerces him into the closet an when he does Haywire goes Haywire and grabs Michael by the throat. He says that he remembers everything, including Michael slamming his head against his bed to get him sent back to the psych ward. Oh crap, I totally forgot about that. What the hell was Michael thinking? Haywire takes out a piece of paper, saying he finished the missing part of the tattoo, realizing it's an escape path. Haywire backs away and threatens to rips the paper up if Michael doesn't tell him exactly when and where they're going to be escaping. In the cell Michael goes over the plan with him, about it starting in the basement, and then going to the infirmary. He says that three days after he's gone he'll come back for him, that he should trust him. I don't know why he would trust him after what he's been through. He does though, and gives him the map, saying that if he screws him over again, he'll kill him. Hey, take a number buddy.
When Veronica comes back to the apartment Nick's sitting there. She's pissed because he hasn't plugged the phone in yet to start getting it charged and so am I, what the hell? She says she's filed a petition so Lincoln can see LJ, but it probably won't get approved. When the phone comes to life she's happy because there are 322 numbers. Damn, I was impressed with myself when I stored 40. He must know a lot of people.
The poker game has finally begun, as they bribe a C.O. to use the kitchen. It actually seems like a friendly game. I mean, no one's really beating each other up yet. T-Bag and C-Notes game is going well, and they act like they loathe each other, which I imagine isn't too difficult to pull off.
Kellerman's with the Vice President bitching and moaning about Brinker. He says The Company's agenda is interfering with their agenda to have Burrows executed. The Veep thinks it's time to spice things up a bit, but Kellerman's afraid that by doing that, they'll pull all of their support for her campaign. She says that maybe they can do it so they never know it's coming. Yeah, I wonder how that's going to go over.
Mo' money. Mo' problems.
During the poker game, T-Bag's shuffling and C-Note holds the makings of a straight. At least I think it's a straight. The only poker I know is from watching Celebrity Poker Showdown. Anyway, when T-Bag deals him his final card it's a ten of diamonds, which would complete the straight. Unfortunately, con rules of play state that you have to bury the card in the deck. Of course they don't want to do that since it's the winning card, but when you have the whole room of felons telling you to do it, what can you do. He does and C-Note gets a lousy ass 2 of diamonds. Jesus thinks he's got him and goes all in. Fortunately, C-Note bets everything and raises him, which is too rich for Jesus' blood so he folds, none to happy about it.
Pope comes in to visit with Lincoln. He tells him that Veronica must be a magician because she pulled off the impossible, he's been granted a visit with LJ. Pope says he's never seen a visit like this approved and that he'll arrange for his travel to see LJ. Although he'll be cuffed and surrounded by officers the whole time, Pope's still concerned. Lincoln puts his concerns to rest, he has an escape plan already in motion that involves his brother so he won't leave him like that.
Haywire's going over the sketches in his book. He goes to the door of his cell and it's being kept open by a piece of clay. He runs down the hall to the door marked "basement" and tries to go through it. The alarms sound and the orderlies chase him down while Michael watches. Haywire's yelling about it being a passageway and some other mumbo jumbo so the orderlies taser him and drag him back to his cell.
C-Note finds Geary near the phones in the yard and gives him the five hundred dollars. Geary takes it and says the price is up to seven, and C-Note's pissed. He quickly goes to Westmoreland and asks for his pocket watch to cover the other two hundred. Of course he refuses but C-Note points out that looking at his daughter won't compare to being able to hold her in a few days. He gives in and C-Note gives Geary the watch. Unfortunately Geary's a mofo and although he takes the money and watch, he says someone else has already paid seven hundred for it and walks away. C-Note and Westmoreland are rightfully devastated.
Dr. Sara visits Michael in the crazy place and she's happy to see he's back to normal. He's made her an ashtray at craft time, isn't that sweet. He tells her he's ready to go back in with the other murderers, he's tired of being with the crazies. She says that now it's not about him being crazy, he has to tell Pope which guard did this to him. If he doesn't, he's going back to the SHU.
Manche's finally made it to the SHU and to Sucre's cell. He gives him the message and Sucre wants him to, in turn, take Michael a message. Manche wants to know what the hell's going on and if the hole in the guard's uniform has anything to do with the burn he saw on Michael's back. From down the hall we hear Lincoln call for him. He's scared, since Lincoln's reputation for being a hard ass is common knowledge, they don't call him "Linc the Sink" for nothin'. When he goes down to talk to him, Lincoln says that he knows there's something they can work out.
In the lunch room, Westmoreland, T-Bag, and C-Note are bummed out. They've lost that loving feeling. Manche comes up and tells them that he can help with that "Scofield problem". Immediately they're on their guard and grab Manche into some headlock. He explains that Lincoln told him everything and he's now part of the escape. Okay, how is this big fat man going to get across the wire above the yard? Anyway, they're not too keen on having him around, but Westmoreland convinces them to hear him out. He says it's a risky plan, but it could work.
Manche's back in the psych ward and approaches Michael, asking if he's ready to get out of there. Um, is that a rhetorical question? In the laundry room, Manche's doing something with the steamer. Later, he and Westmoreland pass each other and Manche tosses something into a garbage container Westmoreland is pushing. Westmoreland then goes into the guards room, under the guise of getting the trash, and is nearly busted for whatever's in the garbage container when one of the exiting C.O.'s throws something in the container. After the room's empty, Westmoreland digs into the container.
Michael and Pope are talking and Michael says he wants protection if he's going to name who did this to him. He plays the victim, well too. Pope says not to worry and Michael says it's Geary, that he shakes cons down for money. He knew he went to college so assumed he was rich. Yeah, I frakin' wish. Anyway, Michael does a good job of convincing Pope by telling him that when he didn't pay up, Geary held him down with one arm and used something on him that was hot as hell.
Nick and Veronica are still endlessly dialing all the numbers in Quinn's phone, only to find out that most are disconnected. I wonder why that is though, it's not like Quinn's murder is common knowledge, right? Whatever, I'm going with it. The numbers range from residences to businesses all over the world. Nick thinks they can send this information to an investigator friend in Washington and get a track on the working numbers. We have a moment when Veronica looks at him with big puppy dog eyes and tells him how much she appreciates his help. Looks like he's truly torn. Later, while Veronica's working on something, Nick makes a phone call and tells whoever it is on the other end that she's there.
Bellick barrels into the guard's room, and Geary's sitting in there reading a paper. Pope comes in soon after and Geary's starting to get a bit nervous. Not like Pope to come visit with them in the guard's room. The newly finished guard's room I must add. Bellick starts going through Geary's locker and finds the rolled up money stack C-Note gave him and Westmoreland's watch. He figures out from the names on it that it's not Geary's. When they look in the locker more, they find a uniform that has the arm burnt, just like Michael said. Geary's stunned. Bellick escorts Geary out and Geary doesn't want Bellick to look at him like he's some con, since he does the same thing. Bellick whispers that he doesn't get caught. As he's leaving, Lincoln's in a transport van, driving out of the prison, as a passenger I mean.
Michael comes back to Gen Pop and into his cell. Westmoreland comes in to welcome him back. Michael gives him his pocket watch, telling him Pope wanted to make sure it was returned. He looks inside at the picture and his overcome by emotion, at which point he does what most men do, goes away to cry in the corner.
In the transport van with Lincoln, he's enjoying the Illinois country side. The grass, the couple of houses. Looks a lot like Oklahoma, boring. The guard wants to know what he's looking at. That's really a rude question, what does he care what he's looking at. Lincoln says he's looking at "everything". Everything including that truck that plows into them and flips the truck over a few times, with the guards and Lincoln being thrown about inside. The van stops rolling, as it smokes in a ditch.
