THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING

Is it wrong to love a terrorist? That's what our dear Jack is during this episode. He put on a hoodie and boarded the baggage area of the most poorly guarded diplomatic plane leaving at the most un-Godly hour.

Karen's on the phone with Bill who tells her that Jack's a stowaway on that plane and that Chloe's leaving his house. As she's talking that little rodent Miles comes in with his stupid frakkin' lisp. She tells him to go down to the situation room to run the ambush on Bill, and this confuses him. He leaves and Karen lets Bill know that he's going to be arrested, and that when Chloe's gone, to call her on a "dry" line. I'm not really sure what the hell a "dry" line is but I guess it's better then a "wet" line. Bill writes the number down and sends Chloe off to a hotel down the street just as the Homeland Security team gets there. He takes off his shirt and messes up his hair, as if he was asleep at 2am, yeah right. They ask if she's there and he denies it. They push past him and realize she's not there. The team wants to question him but he says that he'll only talk to Karen. Karen orders them to bring him in and to search for Chloe's car. Miles questions her and she insists that she wants to do the questioning.

I'd like an aisle seat on the wing please, thank you.

Chloe's made it to that hotel and sets up her computer in the bar. Okay, this is LA and anyone who knows anything about bars in LA knows they close earlier then my Grandma goes to sleep. Usually around 130 or 2. I guess since it's a hotel bar and most people in America think bars stay open longer this is okay, but just for you guys that were curious, in LA this wouldn't happen. Well, most of it wouldn't happen anywhere, anyway, but hey, that's just splitting hairs. She calls Karen and tells her that she's unable to get into the passenger manifest and Karen does some techie thing and makes it possible for Chloe to see it. At the bar is a drunk guy who I'm sure will hit on Chloe sooner or later.

"What? What? He was sleeping when I sat down."

After Chloe hangs up with her she calls Jack who's sitting patiently in the baggage hold. Chloe tells him that Karen's now on their side and he asks that she get the name and seat number of the Air Marshal. She tells it to him and Jack goes to the door in the plane floor. Lucky for him no one is around or watching and he's able to hop out of the hole into the plane cabin. He sits down next to the Air Marshal, saying he's switching seats. The Air Marshal is completely inept and believes him. That's until Jack's elbow hits him in the face and knocks him out. Jack lovingly puts a pillow under his head so he can rest comfortably. He takes his gun and badge and goes back to the galley. Chloe finds who she thinks is the guy Henderson may have passed the recording to. His name is Hans Meyer and he works for Omicron. Jack approaches the man, sits down and poses as the Air Marshal, saying something is wrong with Meyer's luggage. The man follows him to the galley and Jack knocks him out and dumps him down the cargo hold door. He gets it closed and locked right before the stuart- oh, I'm sorry, flight attendant comes in.

At the Presidential compound, Martha's pissed because she can't have her pills. She tries to complain to the Secret Service agent at her door, but he's an ass, nothing like our dear sweet Aaron who's been absent for too damn long. She calls Mike Novick and he comes over so she can complain to him how pissed she is that she can't have her medication. He says he'll try to help her.

Logan's on the phone with Graham (Paul McCrane) who tells him that Jack hasn't found the recording yet. Mike comes in to talk to Logan about Martha. He tells her that she's really off her rocker now. He wonders if there's something going on that he should know. What, you mean like the President being involved in the assassination of another President? Yeah, like that. Logan says that it's a personal matter, nothing to do with national security. He also admits that he and Martha's relationship is over at which point Mike says, "Thank God, that bitch is crazy." Mike gives his sympathies and Logan approves him giving Martha some of her pills.

Jack is in the cargo hold with Meyers and wakes him up. He claims he hasn't seen or heard from Henderson in months. Not counting the minute or two they were together earlier. Jack demands to see his luggage.

Cue the man in the bar to approach Chloe. He wonders if she's a student. Yeah, she's a student... of "get the hell away from me". She rebuffs him and he leaves. I'm sure this isn't the last we've seen of dear drunk patron. Chloe calls Airport Customs and asks to speak to someone who cleared the passengers.

In the plane cabin, the flight attendant wants to passengers to prepare of some turbulence. When she turns around it's clear someone is missing. They hit a patch of mild turbulence and the poor Air Marshal flops over into the seats next to him. The flight attendants approach him and he wakes up. He says that a man attacked him. One of the flight attendants calls the captain, Cotter, and he tells his copilot to lock the door. Shouldn't the door have already been locked? The Air Marshal tells them that the man also took his gun. If I was on this plane I'd be sh*tting in my pants right about now.

Mike's made it back to Martha with her crazy pills. He wonders if something more's going on then they're telling him. He's a pretty smart guy that Mike Novick. She says that no, it's just marital problems. Yeah, the problem is her husband's a d*ck.

As Jack's looking through Meyer's luggage, the guy pleads his innocence. Chloe tells him that she may have made a mistake. Apparently Meyers was in customs for the last three hours and there was no way Henderson could have slipped him the tape. Huh, I bet Jack feels dumb now. Just as Jack gets this information he can feel the plane's being turned around. He tells Chloe that he thinks he's been found out. He tries to open the cargo hold door in the floor and it won't budge. The Air Marshal locks the cargo door and tells the flight attendant to tell the captain they have they guy in the cargo hold. She's worried about the passenger he has with him but the Air Marshal is only slightly concerned.

Jack and Meyer hears the sound of air being sucked out. He realizes the captain is letting all of the air out, in hopes that it'll knock Jack and the man out. I'm thinking it'll kill them, but that's just me. He tells Chloe what's going on and she calls Karen. Jack wants her to connect him with the captain. As she does that, the drunk bar patron approaches Chloe again. She's agitated for a moment and then smiles, offering him to sit down. He sits down and she hits him with a stun gun. He passes out and she goes back to work. I love this girl. Karen is able to connect Jack with the captain of the plane.

Jack talks to the captain and explains what's going on, that it's a matter of national security. Cotter's not convinced. Hey buddy, he didn't use the yellow pages to get you. Jack does bring that up. Cotter asks his copilot for some advice and he tells him that it's better to be safe then sorry, and they should just land the plane. I kinda agree with that. Can't fault him for wanting to be safe. Cotter refuses to let him up. In the BAD ASS moment of the week, Jack finds a panel on the plane and pulls it off. He then takes a luggage strap and pulls on the wires inside. This causes the plane to jar and go into a dive. Jack warns Cotter that if he cares about the lives of the passengers he'll turn the air back on. Damn, I do love him. And I feel so sorry for the people on this plane who don't understand what a hero Jack is. Cotter relents and they turn on the air and let Jack back up. Jack dumps the Air Marshal in the hole. The passengers do flip out when they see Jack with a gun. He goes up to the front of the plane. Jack wants Cotter to circle to give him enough time to search the plane. Cotter says he can't do that it's against regulations. Well so is stowawaying on a flight and holding it hostage but it didn't stop Jack now did it?

Logan finds out that Jack's on that plane and freaks out, since this probably means he's close to or has gotten his hands on the recording. He calls Graham who tells him he needs to order the plane down immediately.

Karen also learns that the secret of Jack hijacking the plane is out and worries that as soon as Logan knows, he'll have the plane swarmed the moment it lands and the tape will be confiscated, along with Jack. Before she orders anything, she wants confirmation that Jack actually has the recording. Bill comes in around now, in handcuffs, and she orders him into one of the interrogation rooms, telling them that she'll be questioning him.

Miles and his stupid self calls Novick to complain about Karen's behavior. Mike tells him that he doesn't have time for his issues. Neither do we Mike, trust me. He says that Karen's in charge and what she's done doesn't sound that bad. Yeah you tool. Miles is watching the feed from the interrogation room and watches as Karen hits some buttons. Suddenly the feed stops and Miles is confused.

Karen tells Bill that they're clear. She says that until she actually sees or hears the evidence against Logan she's going to be skeptical. She updates him on what's going on with Jack and then gets a phone call. It's Logan and Mike. They want to know what's going on with the hijacked diplomatic flight. Logan says that it's Jack trying to escape prosecution and that he wants Jack brought in, dead or alive. For some reason this shocks Mike. Karen also finds it a little suspect, but agrees to the order. Bill says that Logan will do whatever he can to get that evidence from Jack. Unfortunately, Karen can't really do anything to stop the plane from landing. Mike questions Logan about his "dead or alive" decision and Logan claims that Jack's been lying to them all day. If that ain't the pot callin' the kettle black.

At the bar, the drunk patron wakes up and Chloe zaps him again. She calls flight operations and asks them why the copilot didn't board the plane. Copilot Evans replaced him last minute. She quickly looks Evans up and learns that he used to fly the private jets for Omicron.

She calls Jack and tells him. A passenger tries rushing Jack, but silly passenger, he has a gun. Jack holds back killing him, for now. He asks Chloe to patch him into the pilot only and explains the situation, that Evans is associated with a known terrorist. Cotter's suspect but doesn't say anything. Evans wonders what that was all about and he plays it off. He makes small talk about how sh*tty it is they got stuck with this flight. Cotter fakes a leg cramp and stands up. Evans is weary and when Cotter goes for the door he grabs a flashlight and knocks him out. Fortunately, Cotter got to the door in time and unlocks it. Jack barges in with the gun and orders Evans to give him the tape, which he does. Can't really argue with a gun in your face. He tells Evans to get back in the pilots seat and land the plane. He calls Chloe and tells her that he'll be landing soon.

Martha calls Logan and mumbles to him incoherently about how she wishes he would have told her about what's going on. He reminds her that she's been on the brink of a nervous breakdown and has had multiple trips to the looney bin. He hangs up on her when he gets a call from Graham. They intercepted a call from Chloe to Karen and learned that Jack's not only in control of the plane, but he has the recording. He orders Logan to have the plane shot down. Either that or go to prison for treason and murder. That bastard!

KISS KISS BANG BANG

I'm really not liking these three week intervals in seeing this show. I think every show should implement what 24 does. A new show each week for four months. That's the way to do it people. Regardless, a very stellar and ultimately surprising episode of LOST. As usual they ended with a bang. Literally.

We pick up where we last left off, Michael has just mysteriously wandered out of the jungle, collapsing in front of Jack and Kate. They work to wake him up and then Jack gets the idea that maybe they're not out there alone. Wow, and he's a doctor. He starts looking around. Kate gets irritated because she thinks he just escaped. Always the optimist our little Kate.

In the hatch Ana-Lucia's cooking something up. Probably something she's not going to share with the other forty people on the island. She looks over to the hatch and we get a flashback. It's her, as a cop, and her mother, the Captain, approaches. From the "previously on" earlier, we knew tonight would be about her, and about the dude she killed that shot her so damn long ago I don't even remember what happened. Come to find out, they've finally found his body and it's only a day after the last flashback of hers we saw. I'm confused. Time moves so damn slowly on this show. I'm not complaining necessarily, but whatever. Anyway, her mom takes her down to the morgue for some mother/daughter bonding time. She wants to know where Ana-Lucia was the night before, since she said this wasn't the guy the guy who shot her, and they had to release him and now he's dead. Ana-Lucia tries to play it off, saying she was home watching TV. I think it would be awesome to get an Alias shout out right about now, but they don't. Since her mother is the Captain she insists on helping her through this. Instead, Ana-Lucia turns in her badge and gun and quits being a cop. Not sure how this will help since they'll still prosecute her.

Back in the hatch Ana-Lucia goes into the locker with the fruit she's cut up for Henry. Oh, nice, she is sharing. Henry's sulking over in the corner. She tells him that she used to be a cop. Yes, we know, we know. Apparently as a beat cop she's seen a lot of killers. I know she's supposed to be from LA but we don't have that many killers hanging around. In a city of 20 million though I'm sure we have some. I just argued with myself there. Anyway, she says that most killers, all they want to do is talk, but not him. Wow, she must have been a great cop. This point is proved when he mumbles something and she leans in to hear what it was. If you didn't guess it you're fairly dumb, he jumps at her and punches her, then throws her to the ground and starts choking her. He's yelling that she's killed two of them, and that they were good people who were trying to leave them alone. Good people? If I remember correctly the one she killed snapped one of the tailie's necks the night before she took him out. Not sure how that counts as good people. And now I'm wondering who that other person she killed is. We know Goodwin, but who else. If you can remember let me know. Luckily for her Locke comes in and knocks Henry out with his crutch before he can kill Ana-Lucia.

Next we see Ana-Lucia in the real world and she's one of those TSA screeners at the airport, looking extremely thankful for her job. Like I said, I guess since she quit she doesn't have to face murder charges. Later she's comes into the bar and orders a tequila tonic. Man, she wants to get sh*tfaced. Anyway, low and behold, guess who's there next to her? Jack's father. He's drunk, of course, and hitting on her, of course. I'm waiting for her to drop him, but she doesn't. They commiserate with each other. The jist of it is that he used to be a doctor but his son got him kicked out for drinking on the job. She used to be cop but shot a suspect in cold blood. She doesn't tell him that, but we can see they're two like minds. He tells her he's going to Sydney, and hey, here's a question, why doesn't she come with him. Drop kicking time, but no, she wonders why he wants her to come, besides the hot sex he wants to have with her. He makes up some bullsh*t about him needing protection from the gringos, I mean dingos. Oh yeah, and how fate brought them together. She believes it, and I'm thinking it could be the tequilla tonic talking. Since they don't know each other's names, he suggests they go by fake ones. He's going to be "Tom" and wants her to be "Sarah". Coincidently, Jack's wife's name is Sarah. Oh, and for the rest of this blog I'm going to just call him Tom because I have no idea what his name is for real.

Back on the island Ana-Lucia's rubbing the huge gash in her head. Libby comes up and asks if she's okay. She says that the guy in the hatch attacked her. Since Libby was with her when everything went down with Goodwin, she understands.

Locke examines the blast doors, still curious about them and then goes into the locker to check out Henry. He's in a talkative mood now. Locke's curious why he attacked Ana-Lucia but didn't attack him when he had the chance, pinned under the hatch door. Henry admits that it's because he's "one of the good ones". Locke's confused and so am I, seeing that he helped his father steal money. I guess petty theft is okay, as long as you don't benefit from it. Anyway, Henry tells Locke that he's not hopeful for a good trade, that when Jack comes back empty handed they'll kill him or when the Others find out where he is, they'll kill him because he failed in his mission. Apparently the guy in charge of all of this is a brilliant man, but not very forgiving, that he'll surely have him killed once he realizes he failed. What was his mission I was screaming at the TV. In my mind at least, my roommate was sleeping by now. When Henry was captured he was coming to get Locke. Interesting. I can't see him overpowering him and taking him, but maybe. Before he can react, Kate and Jack come back with Michael and Locke closes the locker door.

Lovely misguided Sawyer is in the jungle picking fruit. He could pick my... sorry, every once in awhile my fingers just type what's in my head. Ana-Lucia comes up and Sawyer tells her to get away from his fruit. Yeah bitch, don't be touchin' his fruit. She hasn't come for his fruit, like any normal woman, she's come for his gun. Actually... He says that he should just get the gun from her boyfriend Jack. Ana-Lucia points out that he's off with Kate and makes some comment about Kate being Sawyer's girl. Sawyer then turns all Farmer Joe and tells her to "git".

In the Sydney hotel room, Ana-Lucia wakes up at nearly 4 am for a stiff one. No, Jack's dad's not there. She pours herself a drink and suddenly there's banging on the door. It's Tom, he says that it's time for her to start protecting him. She wonders after three days of sitting around, why he's so interested in doing something now. What, you have something better to do right now? They both stagger out of the room and I'm really hoping wherever they're about to go is walking distance. No, they're driving. I guess Ana-Lucia slept most of her liquor off. It's raining and Tom tells her to pull over at some house in the suburbs. He gets out and knocks on some lady's door. When she opens it she's pissed. I mean I'd be really pissed too if some drunk dude showed up to my house at 4 in the morning. He could have waited a few hours I think. Anyway, from the car Ana-Lucia hears him yelling that "she's my daughter, I have the right to see her". Interesting, Jack has a sister out there. Why wouldn't I be surprised if she was on that island? Or if she was Claire? Although the lady at the door doesn't look old enough to have a daughter Claire's age. He also says that he's the one paying for the mortgage of the house. Ana-Lucia sees the conversation escalating and goes into cop mode. Drunk cop mode, but cop mode no less. She pulls Tom away as the woman tells him to never come back.

On the beach, Hurley approaches Sayid and asks him about the radio they found awhile back and picked up some old ass music. He wants to let Libby listen to it and score some points when it's just the thought that counts and no songs come on. He makes some Say Anything reference that I don't get although that was a great movie. Sayid feels for him, wants everyone to find love even though his was shot in the stomach by that bitch Ana-Lucia. He tells Hurley that there's a nice beach, about three kilometers from where they are. Three kilometers?!? Did they drop a four wheeler as well? Sayid thinks about that time he took Shannon there and makes me believe it was more than a few weeks ago.

Jack's still trying to get Michael to wake the hell up. I wish he would figure out what's wrong with him because it's fairly irritating that he passed out right when he got to them. Anyway, Locke thinks that this means the Others are ready to trade. Jack quickly cuts him down and says that no, Michael isn't a trade, seeing that the Others aren't really the kind of guys who will just trust them. Damn, someone's feeling a bit embarrassed his plan didn't work out quite like he wanted it to.

Sawyer's walking through the woods and because he has such a keen sense of hearing, can tell someone's following him. Turns out it's Ana-Lucia hoping to follow him to his stash. He's not falling for it though. She says that that's cool, she'll just take the gun he has. They end up wrestling around on the ground and she kisses him. He's a bit surprised but starts kissing her back. Finally someone gets some hot action on this island.

In Sydney it's daylight, barely, and Ana-Lucia is just getting around to asking who it was Tom was arguing with. He's not very forthcoming. She stops the car because she's tired of living in Sydney for free with a pretty decent looking older guy. He's still upset because he's realized that he cut his son off for telling the truth and wanting him to get help. She admits that she came to Sydney because she was running away from something as well. Tom realizes she's stopped in front of a bar. His says this is fate. Yeah, fate wants you to be a pathetic drunk loser. It's fun to watch. He wants her to come with him, but she says no. He opens the door to leave and it's none other then Sawyer who yells at him for banging into him. This is obviously right before the two meet up in the bar to talk about Jack. Man this show is crazy! Ana-Lucia tells him they should just go back but he says that they can never go back and gets out and leaves.

Sawyer's laying on the jungle floor in post-coital bliss. Instead of going in for seconds Ana-Lucia wants to run off. I'm thinking because she snagged the gun from him. He's not really the sharpest tool in the shed but what he lacks in intelligence he makes up in looks. She takes off after some cute barbs from him.

On the beach, Hurley's throwing all kinds of food into his back pack. I'd be pissed if I were any of the castaways. Seeing the fat guy take all my food would really get me going. And being a larger gentlemen, you'd think he'd know what to do with food. A picnic doesn't really mean canned olives and Dharma fruit loops. Libby busts him throwing food in his bag and he insists that he's not doing this because he's an overeater. He's doing it because he planned a surprise picnic. She's touched and wants to know where they're going. He wants to keep this a surprise, at least until he blurts it out in a few minutes.

Ana-Lucia's made her way back into the hatch and sees Jack. She wonders if anything happened and he says, that besides for Michael returning, no nothing. He wonders what she did to get the gash in her head but Locke covers for her, says he left the faucet on and she slipped. She's surprised he covered for her, and I am too. No time to talk about it though, Michael's groaning in the background. Everyone makes their way to him. He's groggy but is able to tell them what happened. He says that he walked to where they found the tailies and saw one of them, dressed dirty and looking like one of the Others Kate, Jack and Sawyer saw before. He followed the person and he led them to their camp. It's set up with tents and teepees, and just what you would except from people who look like that. Kate glances up at Jack, seeing that she found that stuff with Claire that completely rejects this idea that they're cave people. No one says anything and lets Michael keep talking. Suddenly I don't trust our dear sweet son loving Michael. Anyway, he says there's just two dozen of them, but no children or no boat visible. He then tells them that he saw a hatch, just like the one they have, and its guarded by two guys with two guns, that those are all the guns he saw. Well we know they have the one they shot Sawyer's ear with and the ones they took from the group in the jungle before, so we know it's more. He thinks they can take them since most of them are old and women. I'm really offended by that. The two main girls, Ana-Lucia and Kate could totally kick some ass. Anyway, he also thinks the kids and the tailies are being kept in the hatch with Walt and that when he gets his strength back, he's going to get him.

In the computer room Locke's going over some things, I'm assuming his little island map drawing. Jack comes and admits that Locke was right. That when he and Sayid beat the crap out of Henry at the beginning, they were right and he was wrong. Locke points out that he did what he thought was best at the time, but in the future he wants to be included in the decision making process. Fair enough I think. Jack's all gung ho about going out and getting Walt and freeing the tailies. Locke's not so sure since the bearded guy said not to cross the line. Jack thinks they're all liars and should just do what they want. Why isn't anyone remembering what Kate saw? Or Claire for that matter, she saw the bearded guy WITHOUT the beard. Locke does agree that they need to do something. They go tell Kate and Ana-Lucia that they're going to get the guns back from Sawyer. They want Kate to go because he's soft on her. Ana-Lucia volunteers to stay and watch Michael, then eyes the hatch because she has some plans that probably include that gun she stole from Sawyer.

In the jungle (the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight) Hurley and Libby are trying to find this secret beach. Libby's astuteness tells her that they've walked by the same tree three times. Was she marking it with chalk or something because all those damn trees look alike to me. She feels bad and he says that they've actually arrived. When they get out of the jungle Libby notices that it's the same beach they're camped on. Hurley doesn't believe it until she points out Jin who's down the beach, fishing. If Hurley didn't feel like a complete failure before... She says that's okay, they'll just picnic there, and to whip out the blankets. Unfortunately he didn't bring blankets, or anything to drink. She makes him feel better by saying that she'll go get the blankets and he can get some Dharma wine from Rose and Bernard. Apparently since they decided to stay they're living it up.

The group finally makes it to the beach and catch Sawyer trying to finish the manuscript. Jack takes it and throws it in the fire, which is pretty damn insensitive. He tells him that they want the guns. Seeing he didn't ask nicely Sawyer doesn't want to give them up. Kate tries to convince him, but alas, even she can't get him to say yes. Pretty soon Jack's done talking and pulls his gun on Sawyer. Sawyer reaches for his gun and... it's not there. Didn't he realize that when he was putting his clothes back on? I'll let that one go. He mumbles "bitch" and tells them that she took his gun. We see Ana-Lucia taking the gun out and checking it and doing the standard thing people in movies and shows do when they want the audience to know that yes, they do have a gun. Locke realizes what's going on and tells Jack that he needs to tell him something.

Ana-Lucia's in with Henry and slides her knife to him to cut himself free. He starts blabbing that Goodwin tried to convince them that she was worthy, but they never believed it, especially after she killed him. She says that Goodwin was going to kill her but Henry wonders out loud if that was actually true. Must I bring up again him snapping that innocent guy's neck and tossing his body somewhere? Ana-Lucia pulls the gun on him and they have a stare down.

The flashback we're treated to is one we've seen many times. It's Jack pleading with the ticket agent at the airport to clear his father's body through security. Wow, she must have hung out in the hotel for a few days since Jack's father had to die and Jack make it down there before she left. She sits down and calls her mother. She tells her where she is and there's a sweet moment between them as Ana-Lucia tells her she's coming home. Her mother takes down the flight number and says she'll be there for her when she gets home.

Ana-Lucia's sitting in the hatch on the couch, looking at the gun. Michael comes in and wonders where everyone is. She tells him that everyone went to get the guns from Sawyer. This surprises him, but really, should it? She explains to him that there's an Other in the gun locker and she tried to kill him but couldn't. She breaks down and that she can't do "this" anymore. I'm assuming she means live. At least I hope that's what she means. He goes to the door and thinks about something for a moment. Then he says that he'll do it. After some convincing she gives him the gun and the combination for the locker. She looks extremely relieved. Michael then tells her that he's sorry. Sorry about what you may ask. Sorry about THIS! BAM. He shoots her in her chest. HOT DAMN! To top it off, Libby comes in with the blankets after hearing the shots and questions Michael. He's startled and turns around and shoots her twice in the blankets she's carrying. Michael looks completely hurt that it's come to this. He then goes and opens the locker. Henry looks confused and scared. Then Michael turns the gun on himself and shoots himself in the arm. DAMN! When this show decides to go all out it goes all the frak out!