HOLY FRAKIN' CRAP

Our boy Jack

So the rule for this post is if you haven't watched 24, but have the intention to watch the season premiere at some point, don't read this. What happens in the first ten minutes of the show, which is also the first paragraph or so of this blog, is the most daring, amazing, jaw dropping thing I, personally, have ever seen happen on a television program. This is bigger than Ross saying Rachel's name at his wedding on Friends. Bigger than the season premiere of LOST when we found out what was down the hatch (sorta). And certainly miles apart from when Sydney woke up two years later, in China, and realized Vaughn had married someone else because he thought she was dead on Alias. None of that, not even close. I have high hopes for this season of 24, and not just because of the hype of the pre-season promos. It's because of this two hour season premiere that I watch TV in the first place. If you don't watch 24, don't read this post. Find someone who has it Tivo'd, recorded, or whatever, get a copy, and watch the first two hours that aired tonight. The best two hours, no the best fifteen minutes, I think I have ever witnessed. Now that I think I've taken up enough room at the top here so anyone who hasn't seen it won't read what happens in the first ten minutes, on with the show.

Of course we know that our Jack Bauer is now living incognito after faking his death. It's been 18 months and Jack's still in the United States. California no less. He's trying to find work as a day laborer of sorts, but unfortunately the boss man doesn't have any work for him.

Weasel

Meanwhile, we learn that the sniveling weasel boy, Logan, is still the President. The Russian President is on his way to Logan's vacation property for a big summit with our Prez. Logan's wife, Martha, is a nut job. We see that in the first few minutes when she looks in the mirror, and upon realizing she doesn't like her hair or make-up job dunks her face in a sink full of water. Not good since the Ruskie will be there soon and she has to be looking her best to great him. Mike, Palmer's chief of staff, is still on Logan's team.

Speaking of looking their best, Chloe is just rolling out of bed. And surprise, surprise, she ain't alone. Spencer is there. Chloe thinks it was a mistake that they hooked up, I mean he does work for her. He tries to break through that tough exterior, and does for a moment. Then the good ol' Chloe is back and she insists he leave and never speak of what happened again.

Finally, we see our dear, loving, the only true President, Palmer. He's at his brother Wayne's place. Nice to see Wayne back after season 3's fiasco. Apparently David is writing his memoirs. Something just hasn't been right with David since they got to Los Angeles Wayne remarks. David dismisses his brother's paranoia and says that he's alright. He goes to the large penthouse's bay window and gazes out. Boy it's nice to see--- HOLY EFFIN CRAP! A bullet whizzes through the window and hits David in the throat! He goes down as Wayne runs to his brothers aid. The shooter is across the way with a sniper rifles. He leaves.

By now I'm thinking, well David can't be dead. Although I'm remembering that the actor got a gig on a CBS show, so this may be it. And in fact, it is. President Palmer was assassinated. The news spreads quickly as our CTU team, which includes Bill, Curtis, and always loveable Edgar. Someone else who happens to be there is Audrey. Bill thanks her for making it and wonders if she's okay with being there. You know, since her lover, Jack, was killed there a year and a half before. She says she's cool. She's there to make sure everything's taken care of for the Ruskie's arrival. Since he found out about the assassination, the President, really, I can't call him that with a straight face, Logan wants to make sure that CTU isn't distracted and keeps their eye on the ball, the Russian President's arrival. Bill reassures Audrey that everything is fine, and there's no threat to the summit. He does suggest postponing it. In fact, everyone but Logan thinks that's a good idea. Logan, on the other hand, says they've worked too hard to get the Ruskie there and doesn't want to ruin the chance for them finally to sit down.

The first lady, Martha

As Logan is having his press conference about David's murder, his aid, or chief of staff, or whatever he is, Walt, informs Martha of President Palmer's death. She freaks out because she and David were close friends. Not sure yet if that was friends with benefits. Suddenly, she realizes something. She tells Walt she has to talk to her husband pronto. Walt tells her he's in a press conference but she makes a run for it. The Secret Service stop her and she realizes she won't get through and the press are just feet away and might see her acting hysterical. She's also still soaking wet from dunking her head into the sinkn earlier.

Jack, meanwhile, learns about the President's death on TV. He's obviously emotional. This man saved his life, literally, and now he's dead. I have to admit, I was shedding a few tears at this moment as well. Jack's girlfriend and apartment manager, Diane, stops by. Jack, ever at the ready, whips his gun out before he realizes it's her. Luckily she doesn't see it and invites him over for some breakfast. He goes over and says hi to Derek, Diane' s troubled-looking teenage son.

Dear sweet Michelle

We finally get a glimpse at Tony and Michelle. They're living a nice life, somewhere in Los Angeles, having retired from CTU. Michelle says she wants to go in and help with the search for Palmer's assassin. Tony doesn't think there's anything they can do to help, although Michelle points out that they were there when the original threat on his life was made, so they could at least help. He still says no, but she grabs her things and goes. Not before kissing him goodbye, no hard feelings. Tony calls the man they were going to meet and says that Michelle isn't going to be at the meeting. He thinks about it for a second and realizes Michelle is right and tells the man he won't be there either. We hear Michelle's car alarm beep off and BOOOMMM! A loud explosion that knocks out the windows and sends Tony to the ground. He gets up and runs outside to see Michelle's car on fire. He finds her on the grass and cradles her dead, yes I said DEAD body. The car explodes again and Tony's hit.

CTU gets a call that Michelle has been killed and that Tony is badly injured and they're flying him into the CTU medical facility, since he could be in danger. They also realize that Tony and Michelle's attack may be related to the President's assassination. Chloe, who's walking to her car, gets a call from Edgar. Of course she knows the President was killed Edgar, duh. But he's calling to tell her that Michelle is dead and Tony's hurt from a car exploding. Luckily she doesn't put the key in the car. She looks around and spots a man across the street, getting out of a truck. The truck's driven by none other than the shooter who killed Palmer. The other man runs after Chloe who runs away. She evades him and makes it to a payphone where she calls Jack.

Jack's at the table with Diane who tells him that she knows he has a lot in his past that he hasn't told her about, and she doesn't care. She says she trusts him. Cue Chloe. She calls and tells Jack about Tony and Michelle and about her being in danger. She says that she's the only one left that knows about him being alive. He instructs her to a secluded place and says he's going to meet her there in half an hour. I'm confused here because I know 24 takes some time liberties since it's real time, but Mojave to Los Angeles in half an hour, how is he going to pull that off? He's gonna steal a helicopter. Unfortunately, Derek has followed him there, seen him knock out the helicopter pilot, and has a gun pointed at him. Jack can't risk Derek going to the police, so he makes him come with him as he flies to Los Angeles. Jack calls Diane in flight and tells her to meet them in LA. She's worried, but she trusts Jack, and does what he asks. Derek is scared but he kinda trusts Jack too.

Logan finally makes it into see his wife and she tells him that the night before David called and said that he had something to tell her. Something about national security. Logan's not sure what to think of this because Mrs. Logan is off her meds. Apparently when she's off her meds it can cause delusions. She insists it happened. Walt encourages Logan to check out the call log since all calls to and from the residence are taped. Martha thinks this is a good idea too.

Tony's brought in and he's in pretty bad shape. Curtis tells Bill that he may have found a link between Tony and the President. The day that Jack Bauer was killed Tony and the President spoke. Bill thinks this is their lead and tells them to search it out. By this time Edgar is getting a bit worried about Chloe. Spencer tells him not to worry but of course he does. Spencer hints that he and Chloe were together earlier, and that she's fine.

Derek

Jack makes it to Chloe, who's taken a cab there. He shuts down the helicopter for what reasons I don't know, and greets her. They get in and he starts back up. But it's too late, the people who were killing everyone has made it here. They barge through the gates and drive quickly to the helicopter. Jack tells Chloe to take Derek and go in the warehouse and hide. She does and he throws smoke grenades. He kills off the attackers. All except the shooter. The shooter finds Chloe and Derek but not before Jack shoots him in the leg. Chloe turns around and shoots him at well. Jack only wanted to wound him to get some information from him, but now he's bleeding to death. Jack tells Chloe to walk away as he implements his extremely useful interrogation skills. He gets from the guy, with the promise of getting him to the hospital, that Tony and Michelle were just a diversion, and that Jack is going to be blamed for the assassination and Tony and Michelle's death. Don't worry, Tony's still holding strong. He says that the President was killed because of something he knows, but he doesn't know what he knew, or who hired him. He also lets it slip that he was the one who killed Palmer. Not such a good answer. Jack gets up and shoots him. Ha, I love Jack. Derek's still a little unsure of Jack, seeing that he just shot a guy.

RIP President Palmer

Jack realizes that if they're going to frame him for this, he's got to figure out who's behind what's going on. He says to do that he's going to have to go to the crime scene. Chloe doesn't think this is a good idea, but I guess Jack knows what he's doing.

Back at CTU they're starting to put the pieces together. In fact, they pretty much know that Chloe is missing at this point. She's not picking up her phone and she was called in about an hour ago. They also get a glimpse of the person who went into the building across from Wayne Palmer's penthouse. It's Jack. Of course we know it's doctored and that he wasn't there. Something that can be proved by his girlfriend, and the foreman at the place where he was trying to get work, but they don't know that yet. All they know is Palmer is dead and Jack must have faked his death. They put it all together that Chloe, Tony, Michelle and Palmer all helped Jack fake his death. Audrey is stunned to see Jack and doesn't understand why Jack would kill these people if they helped him. Bill doesn't want to take any chances and wants to bring Jack in.

Meanwhile, everyone is trying to convince Logan to call off the summit. He says over and over how hard they worked to get the Ruskie there. He doesn't want to change anything, even if that means putting people's lives in danger. I really hate this snot. Walt visits Martha and reassures her that they'll be checking the voice recorders and verifying that she spoke with Palmer the night before. She thanks him.

A group of men come across the bodies and burnt out car from the attack on Jack and Chloe. The leader is talking to a man in a room. The man seems to be Russian and is watching the coverage of Palmer's assassination. He says that they are "launching" in under an hour. Clearly the bad guys.

It gets back to CTU that something's going down soon and again they warn Logan. Mike even tries to talk him into change their plans but he just won't do it. He's such a tool.

Jack and the gang make it to Wayne Palmer's building. They go in on Chloe's credentials with Jack and Derek hiding in the back of the truck. They pull into the garage and Jack gets out the earbud walkie talkie device he found in the bad guys' truck. He leaves the truck and attacks an FBI photographer. Derek looks on, both impressed and scared. Chloe is able to log onto some website or whatever, and get the layout of the building, and all of the agents whereabouts. There are over 160 agents in Palmer's building when Jack goes in and Chloe tells him the routes to take the be seen by the least amount of people. Of course there are some close calls but he makes it into the penthouse. He gets a glimpse of Palmer's body under the sheet and you can see the rage and determination on his face. He goes to the study and opens computer. Chloe runs an encryption program to decode the one coded file. Derek questions Chloe about Jack and with her big mouth she tells him a little about Jack that he was an agent and someone wanted him dead so they faked his death.

At the same time, at CTU, Edgar is being crabby to Spencer. Spencer's trying to access something and can't get online. Edgar gives him Chloe's access code but when he tries to log on, it says that it's already in use. Edgar figures out, because of the encryption, that it's Chloe. Bill and the team come to the conclusion that Jack has her and is making her do this under direst.

While Jack is accessing the code he hears the door, which is funny because none of the dot people Chloe's watching have moved. It's Wayne Palmer. Jack holds him at gunpoint. Wayne by now has heard that Jack is a suspect and is furious. Jack insists he didn't do it, making Wayne realize that he would have given his life for David. In a show of good faith he gives Wayne the gun. Wayne starts to shoot him but realizes he's right, there's no way he could have killed David. They finally decode the file and it's the beginning chapter of David's memoirs. Wayne helps Jack figure out that there's an address hidden in the manuscript. It's a baggage manager name and an address for Ontario airport, just outside of LA. Chloe sees that most of the agents on the outside of the building are now going to the inside. Wayne says he wants to help Jack, but Jack just tells him that he's going to figure out who killed David. As Jack is leaving he notices that everyone is being handed out pictures of him. He takes the stairs and encounters some agents that he takes out. Once in the van they realize they're trapped. The building is surrounded and there are a dozen agents in the garage. Suddenly the van whips around the corner and out of the garage. The officers are ordered not to shoot. The van is blocked in half a block away and Chloe gets out. Jack and Derek must have gotten out in the garage and ran out after everyone chased after Chloe.

Back at Logan's he gets the tape from Walt. He plays it for Martha. She's talking to David alright, but just about a fundraiser he wants to have. Of course Martha freaks out because she knows she didn't have that conversation with him. Logan tries to comfort her and tell her to take her meds. The Ruskie's almost there and although everyone says to not do it, Logan is preparing for his arrival. Mike even suggests they re-route his arrival but Logan won't hear of it.

Jack and Derek are driving a stolen car to Ontario airport. Derek tells Jack that Chloe told him a bit more of who he was. Jack explains to him that when he started hanging out with Diane and him, he started to feel like he had a family again. He tells Derek that he cares for him.

Chloe's handcuffed and Bill is talking to the arresting agent. He wants to talk to Chloe so the agent puts her on. She says that Jack didn't kill anyone. I mean anyone except all those people who were attacking him. Bill wants to know how she knows and she says that she heard Palmer's shooter confess and where to find his body. Bill begs Chloe to tell him where Jack went. Chloe's no dummy though, she says she knows that they'll just arrest him. She refuses to tell them anything.

The man in the room is talking to the leader of the bad guys, just confirming that they're good to go. They are.

Jack makes it to Ontario airport, where he told Diane to meet them so she can pick up Derek. Diane and Derek have a reunion and Jack tells her his real name. He gives her an address and tells her to go there. He says it CTU's address and to tell them the truth about what's going on. You know, like they were together, in Mojave earlier and that he couldn't have killed Palmer. Man, it's so hard for me to even write that. Anyway, they take off and Jack goes into the airport and is directed where to find the baggage manager. Before they can leave Derek notices a bunch of guys get out of a black van. After being with Jack only a few hours he's a bit suspicious. He tells his mom that he has to warn Jack and jumps out. He should be worried, the leader of the bad guys is one of the dudes that jumped out.

Back at camp dumbass Logan is outside to greet the Russian President who has landed safely, much to CTU's relief since they were watching the whole thing, waiting for something to happen.

Jack finds the baggage manager who, upon seeing Jack, tries to run. Jack grabs him and in questioning him says something like, 'This is going to hurt, it's up to you how much.' He's great. Unfortunately for Jack, as Derek walks in and frantically searches for him to tell him about the guys, the leader of the bad guys pushes a button and the black van outside explodes. Diane freaks out and tries to run in for Derek but is stopped by cops. Jack hears this and goes to the door. The baggage manager takes a pill and kills himself.

The man who was on the phone with the bad guys is talking to someone else now. The person tells him that everything is taken care of, and that Logan will never hear the real conversation between Palmer and Martha, that he took care of it. The mystery man turns around and it's WALT!!!

Two major characters, who have been around for 4 seasons now, have been killed off and another is near death. It takes some balls to do something like this. It also takes a great faith in your audience. Although I hate to see Palmer and Michelle go, and get sorta misty just thinking about them, this was a great move.

Don't miss the next two hours tomorrow night. My hands hurt from typing so much but I was so excited I wanted to get this out pronto.