DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

I have to say, I am happy about the stories finally feeling like they're moving along. What I'm not happy with is the continued stupidity of Susan, the selfishness of Gabrielle, and the manipulativeness ( I know that's not a word) of Lynette. You'd think she'd start to realize that her manipulations always backfire (remember the mouse a few weeks back, and the kids getting kidnapped last week?)

Speaking of Lynette, she's finally had it with her boss Nina, and after a typical tongue lashing meeting, Lynette stands up for herself and her people. Unfortunately her people don't back her up and she looks like an ass to Nina. Fortunately though, Lynette comes back to the office later that night and finds Nina and the receptionist, Stu, gettin' busy in her office. I find this interesting since last time she was getting some ass she was nice to her colleagues. Anyway, Nina sees Lynette watching them and is embarrassed. Not embarrassed enough to stop, but embarrassed none the less. The next morning Lynette approaches her about it and says that all she wants in return for her silence is for Nina to be nice. Nina agrees, until she decides to fire Stu instead, therefore taking Lynette's leverage away. Seriously, this woman is a bitch. Lynette then starts her manipulation and has Stu over for tea. Stu's not really the sharpest tool in the shed, and Lynette hints that he should think about suing (of course she doesn't mean for real, just to scare Nina to give him his job back. I mean, what would you rather have, a million dollar law suit or your receptionist job back?) When Lynette goes back into work she finds out that people are getting fired, including Nina. The bossman tells her that Stu is suing them for millions, and that she's now being promoted to Nina's position. In fact, lots of people are being fired because of this, the company may even go under. Lynette feels even worse when Nina tells her how much she actually does for the office, mainly keeping it afloat because the bossman is a jackass. Doesn't Lynette feel stupid now? I sure do hope so.

In probably the most implausible moment yet on this show, Carlos is paroled early. How long has he been in prison? I've calculated it and I'm thinking it's been at the most two months. TWO MONTHS! On an eight year sentence. This is just stupid. I kinda don't even want to talk about them anymore. But I will. The reason for his parole is that he's found God. And by God I mean a sexy nun named Sister Mary Margaret. Gabrielle is instantly jealous and accuses Carlos of having feelings for SMM. Carlos starts going to church every day and is constantly around SMM. Gabby has SMM over for dinner and I guess to make her realize that Carlos is unchangeable. Lord, I really don't know. I do know that in the middle of their dinner Carlos decides to give the church his car. Not really sure what they're gonna do with it, but Gabs is furious, until she gets him up into the bedroom alone and seduces him. I guess they have a quickie because the next time pour SMM sees Gabby she's in a short silk robe and tells her that Carlos is sleeping. Okay, seriously, he couldn't come down for two minutes to say he was sorry or goodbye, or whatever? This isn't just rude it's pretty offensive. As Gabby ushers SMM out, she tells her that she and Carlos need time alone as a couple and SMM tells her no. She, very astutely I'd say, tells Gabby that Carlos's time in jail (however short it was) was all Gabby's fault, and that her materialistic nature caused all of this. ADT (about damn time)! Then the nun gets a bit ghetto and tells Gabby to bring it on. It was great.

Meanwhile, Susan goes to see dear old Dad and in true Susan form, she applies for a job at the feed store. I mean really, what the hell. He realizes she's up to no good but misinterprets her eagerness to hang out with him as his wife setting him up. He sorta hits on her which makes her blurt out that she's his daughter. Of course this makes him have a heart attack. Later, at the hospital, we learn that he's sorta an ass. He's cheated on his wife numerous times, and when Susan tells him she wants some sort of relationship with him, he tells her no. He pushes her to leave quickly, because he doesn't want his wife seeing her. Unfortunately the wife comes in and Susan covers for him, saying that she was his guardian angle, and that she was the one who found him and called 911. There's so much they can do with this storyline and I think it's wasted on dimwitted Susan.

The best story of the night was probably with Bree and psycho George. As she's giving a dinner party George shows up on her front lawn ala John Cusack in Say Anything, singing to her from a loud speaker. She insists that he leave and when he refuses, she does what any housewife would do. She gets out her shotgun and shoots the speaker off the top of the car. Man, she's got some good aim. The next day George happens to ride by her on his bike and she again tells him to stop stalking her. She goes to visit Dr. Goldfarb who's amazingly alive from being pushed off of the bridge by George. They talk a bit (she must be paying good money to have a session while he's still layed up in the hospital) and he mentions his assailant was riding a blue bike. Observant Bree remembers that early, that was the same color bike George was riding. Later, as George walks home, he sees police at his house. He immediately calls Bree and she tells him to get help. At a hotel later, Bree is doing some sort of fundraiser. George has checked himself into the same hotel and bribes a bellhop to give Bree a note and then call him when she's on her way up. The note says that he's taken some pills and for her to come up right away. Unfortunately for George, Bree calls the police and before she can tell them what's going on, he tells her that they've found evidence that George killed Rex. Bree is shocked and goes up in the elevator. George has already taken the pills and Bree watches as he fades in and out. He wants her to call an ambulance for him and she says that she will, as soon as he admits to killing Rex. He admits to it, and says that he only did what she wanted him to do. She sits there and he passes out for a moment. When he wakes up a second later he asks her to call an ambulance. She lies and says that she did. He passed out again and she walks out of the room. Haha, sucker.