SURVIVE THIS

Survivor's one of those shows I have such high hopes for and it either delivers or fails miserably. Tonight's show was actually worth watching and there was finally some strategy. FINALLY.

During the recap we're reminded that Gary found the six inch immunity idol and saved himself from certain doom. We're also reminded that Judd's a liar and a drunk. As the magic eight make their way back to the camp after voting poor Bobby Jon out, we again see how paranoid Jamie is. In his infinite wisdom he decides to get mad at Cindy, because she's not mad at Gary for voting for her last council. Hey, as long as no one is mad at him he's okay. Everyone talks again about how annoying Jamie is, but seem to forget that they can VOTE HIM OUT.

Moving on to the next day and the reward challenge. The team learns that they'll be divided into two teams of four, and then paired off by ropes in twos. The groups of two must then wade through knee deep mud and an obstacle course to retrieve jugs of corn, then bring it back and load up a larger jug until completely filled. The two people roped take turns within their group of four. I really hope that makes sense, it really didn't to me until halfway through the game. I must be a bit slow on the uptake tonight, I think I need more protein. Jamie and Rafe/Cindy and Lydia are sailing through with Jamie/Rafe bolting through. Judd and Gary/Dani and Stephanie are holding their own, but a bit behind. That's until Cindy/Lydia take their turn. Poor short Lydia is just about waist deep in the mud and has to crawl over the mat and tag out to a very irritated Jamie and an encouraging Rafe. Unfortunately, that slows them down enough for Dani and Stephanie to get the last needed corn and win the challenge with Judd and Gary. Jamie yells at Cindy and Lydia to finish which is just stupid, why expend anymore calories than you need to, you're only gonna be eating corn and maybe a minnow or something when you get back to camp.

For reward Dani, Stephanie, Gary and Judd are whisked away by helicopter (mud and all) to a private residence where they can shower, swim, and wait, Judd takes his clothes off to make sure he gets his undercarriage real good. Doesn't this place have an inside shower? The girls are in the pool laughing and staring, which is never a good sign for a man.

Later, they gorge themselves on what looks like mostly jalapeno poppers and shrimp, which I actually had for dinner, how weird. I notice the champagne and worry that Judd might be falling drunk into the pool later. I kinda want that to happen because this installment could use a boost right about now. As they continue to wreak havoc on their intestines, Gary starts to strategize with Judd and Stephanie. He thinks, hey, we won reward with them, so they'll have to not vote for us, right? RIGHT? We'll just have to see. Judd says he likes Gary and Dani, but realizes he has to vote Gary out anyway, it was their plan, and lord knows Judd never lies. Later they hunker down for the night in beds, real beds, with sheets and pillows. Gary sleeps with the girls and Judd gets his own bed. I'm starting to think that maybe he did drink, remember what happened last time he drank, and didn't remember puking in the shelter. Yeah, good thinkin' Gar.

The next morning when they wake up, they're greeted by forty five different flavors of Folgers coffee. Okay, maybe there weren't that many, but enough to make me wonder where they keep those in the store, because I've never seen all of those. Maybe at Trader Joes. Anyway, while they're sitting around in their thin blue robes, Lou, the owner of the house, brings them a present. Videos from home, finally. First up is Judd, his cute daughter cooking on the grill and his wife (surprisingly pretty) get everyone teary eyed. Next is Dani, and for such a pretty girl, the only person she's excited to see is her dog. Sweet, but kinda sad too. Stephanie's family says hi, yeah whatever, and Gary's kids bring him to near sobs.

Once back at camp they bring the rejected four some coffee. Cindy's overjoyed because she loves coffee. Yeah, I like coffee too but would really prefer some food for these people at this point. I guess it's the thought that counts. Jamie, who's still paranoid, wants to "play" a game with Rafe. This we learn from Rafe is Jamie's secret code for, "I'm still paranoid and want to make sure you're still on my side because I know you won't lie to me." They start playing some ancient Mayan game with corn and a stick, seems captivating, and Rafe assures Jamie that he won't vote for him. He doesn't promise him, since it's never good to promise anyone anything in the game of Survivor, but he does say he'll think about it. Eh, good enough.

Finally it's time for the immunity challenge which is, guess what, an obstacle course. This time each tribe member will wear a belt attached to a rope by a metal ring. They have to traverse the course by going around and through wooden posts. Of course this is made more difficult for taller people like Gary and Dani, and idiots like Judd, who once it starts, never makes it past the first three feet. The top four, Cindy, Rafe, Stephanie and Jamie, then do the second half, more of the same rope trick, this time on a jungle gym type contraption. At this point I really don't care who wins, Gary's going home tonight anyway. His only chance was to win this. Rafe wins the challenge and soon points out that he's won two and come in second on the other one, so now people see him as a threat. No one else seems to realize this though.

Back at camp Jamie is guess what, paranoid. I guess he has a bit to be paranoid about since he's the only other likely choice. Judd reassures him that he has nothing to worry about and hey, he might get one vote tonight, but that'd be it. Rafe and Lydia talk and play the leaf game and are joined by Stephanie. Rafe's leaning toward voting for Jamie, but we know how this goes. He's all talk and no action. Lydia says that she's been with Jamie this whole time, so she doesn't feel right voting him out. They decide on something, but we're not sure what it is.

Finally we're at tribal council and we get our first look at the newly clean Bobby Jon. Not bad, not bad at all. Probst asks everyone about bonding, and wonders if Judd has bonded with Gary and Dani. He says that of course he has, and gives some speech about Gary being his hero and such. But hey, this game isn't about heroes, it's about saving your own ass, so Judd tells Probst that this will be a hard vote for him. They go to vote and of course we see Judd and Jamie's Gary vote, and Gary's Jamie vote. Probst reads the results, Gary, Gary, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie! JAMIE! JAMIE!!!! BAM! No one saw that coming, not Jamie and certainly not Judd. Jamie handles his ousting with dignity, yelling "BLINDSIDED! Nice. Now that's how you vote somebody out". Yes, yes it is.