Cryin' Chrissy GodlewskiThe show starts out with the Bransens and Weavers meeting Phil at the ranch and finding out that the leg is still going. They rush off and the Linzes make it to Phil first. Of course, still not knowing the race continues, Chrissy Godlewski breaks down in the car, and on the mat with Phil. They get renewed hope when Phil tells them the leg isn't over. He yells encouragement as they get into their car and drive off. I'm thinking after they leave he jumps in a helicopter and is whisked away to the pit stop. I love Phil.
If you remember correctly last episode, due to Old Faithful, the Bransens and Weavers were a good hour and a half in front of the Linzes and Godlewskis. The Weavers decide to stop and ask for direction, and one of the girls insists they get gas while they're there too. She's put in her place and told to shut up unless she wants the belt used on her, and they don't get gas. Everyone makes their way to Turtle Ranch where they find out that it doesn't open until seven the next morning, giving everyone the chance to bunch up again. The Weavers have a pity party and stay inside their camper, refusing to talk to everyone because they're "in this alone. No one likes us". See this tiny little violin, I'm playing it for you.
Tommy "Uncle Bone" Linz
The next morning the groups wake up bright and early and at 7am, sprint to awaiting Yukons or some type of large SUVs. They're driven up the mountain to their detour. They have the choice of building a wagon, or building a teepee. My roommate had to give me a nudge at this point because I fell asleep for a second because I was BORED. Although, I am able to stay awake every time the Linz boys are on, they're just so damn cute, especially Bone (Tommy, the youngest). The Linzes and Bransens decide to build a wagon, and actually breeze right through it. It helps the Linzes that they're young, strong, strapping men because they carry the wheels back to the cart fairly easily. The Bransens are hot on their tail by what looks like just minutes.
The Weavers pitching a teepee
The Weavers and Godlewskis build the teepee which actually looks harder than I thought. Poor Chrissy G. is just starving for attention, she wants so bad for her bitch sisters to like her that she offers to boost one of them up to get to the top of the teepee. The Weavers finish and run off followed by the Godlewskis and poor Chrissy.
Everyone learns that they're next stop will be at a hotel named after Buffalo Bill's sister. Megan Linz wonders if he was a tall tale but Bone and Alex correct her. Silly Megan, she was thinking of the guy with the ox, Paul Bunyon. The Linzes and Bransens are neck and neck heading to the hotel, but the Linzes stop and ask a local for help identifying Bill's sister, Irma. The Bransens cruise by them, but have to stop and ask a local for help as well and the Linz retake the lead. Once they get to Irma's they have to dress up in period clothes, take a picture with Buffalo Bill, and the present the picture to him for their next clue. Of course the Linzes have a blast doing this, with the Bransens chomping at the bit for their turn.
The next clue instructs them to drive (big surprise) 72 miles to a golf course in Montana. I was so hoping it was a race track. Is that wrong? Anyway, the Linzes are off and the Weavers show up to Buffalo Bill right as the Bransens are getting their pictures taken. In turn, the Godlewskis show up as the Weavers are getting their pictures taken. Most likely there's about ten to fifteen minutes between each team.
Phil's Camel Toe
The Linzes show up at the golf course and learn that it's a Roadblock. Traditionally, a Roadblock is performed by one person, but on this special family addition of the Amazing Race, it's performed by two members of the family. Sorry, I just had a Phil moment. Did anyone else catch his major camel toe? It was like a car wreck, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. In this task they have to pick a colored flag and then drive around in Buick golf carts and look for the balls of the same color on the course. Having taken color theory in college, I know that red is on the opposite side of the color wheel as green, so I would have personally chosen red, but the Linzes choose their trusty Cincinnati orange. The Bransens are next to arrive and grab a flag. Nick and Alex Linz are way ahead, but at the last hole, we see that they've missed their orange ball, it's in the hole. Wally Bransen figures out that sometimes it'll be in the hole and instructs his daughter to look. The Bransens make it out quickly followed by the Linzes. They all make their way to the pit stop, another ranch, this time in Montana.
As the Linzes finally find their ball, the Weavers show up and start looking. Soon after the Godlewskis show up and Michelle and Sharon decide to do it. Michelle is the one who always yells at Chrissy so right away I'm wishing for a moderate golf cart crash. Sharon is the one that's usually driving and can't turn around on the road. During their trip around the course they begin to bicker. Now I don't have sisters, but I really hope this isn't how we'd be. You can sorta tell they all really don't like one another. I really don't like them either. Yeah, Chrissy's annoying, but she tries real hard. Not like that bitch Sharon who just barks orders, or Michelle who is so passive aggressive with Chrissy she just makes fun of her under her breath. Back in the cart Sharon's had enough and jumps out, deciding to walk the 18 hole course instead of staying in the cart with her sister who's driving erratically and nearly losing her sister. Bye-bye million dollars. Michelle finally talks Sharon back into the cart and they find their balls. By now the Weavers have found theirs too and are on their way to the pit stop. The Bransens and Linzes show up to the pit stop at what looks like the same time, but it's the Bransens who make it to the mat first. They all four win Buicks. The Linzes arrive soon after and take second place.
As I'm watching I'm trying to deduce how far behind the Godlewskis really are. I usually judge this by the sky. Sky's not giving it up. As the Weavers make their way into town, the Gods of Kobol shine down on me and allow me to witness the Weavers getting pulled over by the cops. They aren't as bright as Bone and his siblings, but at least they don't tell the cop they're in a race. He gets their license and registration and tells them to wait. Now wouldn't this have been a lot more fun in a foreign country? Well, they get let loose and now I'm starting to worry. This is a one horse town and if the Godlewskis had passed them by down that one street, we would have seen the two look at each other and would have gotten some emotion from one of Weaver girls. Probably some trash thrown out of the window or something. Alas, no trash, at least thrown, and the Weavers get let go with just a warning. As they make their way to the ranch their gas light comes on. I haven't prayed like this since Jack Bauer got shot a few seasons ago, but unfortunately, they make it to the pit stop. Fancy editing makes it look like the Godlewskis are there too, but I know better. The sisters arrive and of course Chrissy is crying and Phil tells them they're not the Biggest Loser. Oh wait, sorry, I got confused there. And for what feels like the first time in weeks, someone is eliminated.
My Linzes
I would have liked the Weavers to have bitten the dust, but we need a villian I guess. We get to see great scenes for next week's season finale, the best of which is Nick Linz trying to beat Rolly Weaver to the front of the line at an airport with Linda Weaver yelling "Don't hurt him" or something like that. No clues as to who wins the race, but it does look like they may get out of America and go to Canada. Woohoo! I'm still rooting for my Linzes, but I wouldn't mind the funny hat Bransen girls and Wally either.
