MY FAVORITE CLIFFHANGERS

Who Shot J.R.? The trend that started it all

Because there's really no new shows on for the next few days and it's been awhile since my last post, thought I'd take you down memory lane and discuss what, in my humble opinion, have been awesome, end of the season cliffhangers. I know I'm going to forget some, so I may do an update after the post, so look out for that.

First of all, end of the season cliffhangers are both awesome and horrible. I love the intense feeling of knowing that there's going to be a crazy ending, but at the same time I'm totally pissed knowing it's going to be at least three or four months (and in the case of 24 nearly 7 months!!!) before I know what the hell is going on with my favorite characters.

The best known, and probably the beginning of most shows utilizing the cliffhanger was of course "Who Shot J.R?" I was way too young to remember it, didn't watch the show, and have no idea who the hell shot him, but what I do know is he wasn't really dead, and I think it was a chick who shot him. Who knows. But I do thank Dallas for starting the trend.

Lookin' down the hatch

The most recent season finale cliffhangers, not counting that bullsh*t Prison Break one we saw awhile back, was best implemented by ABC shows. Alias of course was the best. Sydney and Vaughn go for their romantic getaway and Vaughn announces to her that his name really isn't Vaughn and then a truck broad sides them. It was great! After a lackluster season it was good they ended with a bang. Lost had a great one too with the opening of the hatch. For months I wanted to know what the hell was down there and read tons of theories, not one of them guessing what was actually down there. How great was that opening moment in this year's season premiere with Desmond? Grey's Anatomy didn't do too bad either with Kate Walsh's sudden appearance, announcing herself to Meredith as Dr. McDreamy Shephard's long lost estranged wife. Bitch.

The Carver, who was outed in this past season's finale

I have to give props to Battlestar Galactica as well for having a strong summer finale. We leave our Galactica crew just as Helo and Tyrol have been imprisoned by that biatch Admiral Cain and Adama has sent his fighters to battle the mighty, rested fighters of the Pegasus. Nip/Tuck didn't do bad either as an armed Sean waited for the Carver to show up so he could kill him as the Carver broke into his partner, Christian's apartment instead, paralyzing him and slashing at the camera. I waited what seemed like forever (if I'm not mistaken nearly a year) to find out Dr. Troy's fate. Don't worry, he's ok, and hot as ever. Without A Trace surprised me last year with it's cliffhanger. Danny and Martin are in an insane gun battle, as Danny jumps out of the car and exchanges gun fire. After the last bullet flies he finds a shot up Martin still in the car.

I was happy at the end of the this season's Deadwood when whore killing Mr. Wolcott hanged himself. I, for one, can't wait until that show comes back. Look's like they're planning for sometime in '06. Here's hoping it's in the first half of the year.

Jack finds Teri on 24. Man I love this show!

In the years I've been watching television some other cliffhangers stick out. One of the best was Alias a few years ago when Sydney, after an amazing girl fight with the woman who had murdered her best friend and taken her identity, wakes up in Hong Kong, only to realized that she's been missing for TWO YEARS and her boyfriend has remarried in the meantime. Leave it to 24 to end two seasons with amazing endings. You knew things were gonna be good with this series when at the end of the first season Jack's wife Teri was killed off in the last few minutes. Then, another season ended with our beloved President Palmer shaking hands with the brutal assassin and a deadly poison being administered.

ER has had a few good cliffhangers. The one last year was Drs. Pratt and Chen being chased by a guy who has road rage and the car is shot at and flies off a bridge into the water. I was also pretty impressed with the West Wing a few years ago when they ended the season after the motorcade was shot at with everyone in the line of fire. I never really got into that show, even though I do think it's good, but those last few seconds were intense. I just remember the season premiere promos with a voiceover from the secret service "Who's been hit!? Who's been hit?!" That was great.

Mr. Burns after he was shot

You may think of cliffhangers being just for dramas, but one of the best cliffhangers was when Ross and Emily were getting married on Friends. Poor Rachael is sitting there watching the man she loves marry another woman and as he says his vows, he accidentally says her name! Unfortunately about a week before that episode I was watching Elliot Gould on Regis & Kathy Lee. Remember he played Ross and Monica's dad. Anyway, on Regis he blurted it out that Ross was going to say Rachael's name. I don't know if he just didn't get the memo that these things are supposed to be kept secret or if he just didn't care. I mean, he is Elliot Gould. Another great comedy cliffhanger was "Who shot Mr. Burns?" on The Simpsons. A clear take on "Who Shot J.R.?" we had to wonder who it was that shot crotchety old Mr. Burns. Turns out he sorta shot himself, as he reached for Maggie's candy.

Picard's Locutus

Taking it back old school, a great cliffhanger happened on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Everyone who watched it has to remember Captain Picard getting abducted by the Borg and being assimilated into Locutus. The X-Files also had their share of end of the season moments. One that stands out for me is Scully being abducted. I'm really not sure what happened, but all I remember was them doing some experiment with her and her belly was swollen. I guess the actress was pregnant and they wanted to use it. It was a bit scary.

Quantum Leap's Sam at cafe crazy

Finally, the two finales that just pissed me off. They wouldn't have been so bad if they would have just been cliffhanger season finales. Unfortunately, they ended up being series finales. No one told me they were ending. Imagine my surprise when the last episode of Carnivale had Jonesy die, Ben "kill" Brother Justin and leave, unconscious, with the troupe who are hauling tail out of town, and Sofie lays her hands on Brother Justin, apparently healing him in the same manner as Ben does, killing all living things (the cornfield) around her. I found out months later the show was canceled and was pissed. The worst one ever for my heart was Quantum Leap. I was (am) a true fan of this show. Not only did I watch every episode, but I taped it and kept those tapes for years. The last show had our hero Sam in some sort of other worldy cafe where he met up with a lot of the people he saved in the however many years he's been leaping. They just had the same faces, not the same souls. In the end he had, what I can only assume, was a conversation with God about his missions. He asked Sam about that one thing he would do differently if he could go back and change one of his missions. Sam decides to help out his best friend, holographic image guide, Al. He goes back to Al's wife's house, leaping in as himself, in her living room. That would have given me a fright, although Scott Bakula is a hunk so I might be okay with it. Anyway, he tells her that Al's coming back, and to wait for him. Apparently when he was held hostage in Vietnam he was presumed dead and she remarried. After this touching scene with the wife we fade to black. A subtitle comes up and lets us know that Al's wife waited, and they got married and had kids. It also told us that Sam hasn't returned home yet. What the fu**? Seriously, first of all, if you remember Al at all on this show, he wouldn't be the same not being a womanizer. Secondly, Sam doesn't go home? He's sentenced to spend the rest of his life leaping? And when he's ninety years old is he still going to be leaping into teenagers? I mean come on, what the hell was that? And it's there some space/time continuum or paradox thing that could happen if Al's life was changed that drastically? I mean he was Sam's partner in the time machine thing.

Obviously I've got some time on my hands to be thinking about these things, but I have to admit, the cliffhanger was a great invention for TV addicts like me.