See, he's a cutie, right?
Nothing much has really happened with Jen and Frankie. I mean, maybe some stuff has but I just fast forward through them because they bore me. Until Jack starts coming back around, which he hasn't in awhile, I won't like this story. How many times can Jack die? This is the third time in as many years. If I were Jennifer I'd divorce him and move on when he comes back anyway. First she had hunky Patrick to take care of her, now she has Frankie. He's about a foot shorter than Patrick, but no slouch in the looks department.
This is what I call an ugly cry
Speaking of Patrick, in true Lockhart style, he's sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. Billie has confessed and is going to jail for running over little Zack. Of course we, and just about all of Salem, know the truth, that it was Chelsea who did it. The only person who didn't know it was Hope. Frankie put two and two together, as Billie's lawyer, and found the plane manifest Billie was on to prove she wasn't even in Salem. You'd think the cops would have found that out. Billie begs him not to tell anyone and he doesn't. Patrick on the other hand is hunting down the real "killer". He finds a surveillance tape of Chelsea in Bo's car and figures it out. He goes to the court where Billie is being arraigned and Billie and Bo beg him not to say anything. He can't keep his mouth shut and tells Hope that Chelsea was driving the car. Hope freaks out and calls her a murderer. Technically she's not, but I'm sure as a grieving mother Hope doesn't feel that way. She is furious at her and can't believe she'd lie to Bo and steal his car. Not so fast Hope. Bo lets her rant and cry and scream before he confesses to her that he gave Chelsea the car that night, and signed for her temporary license. Hope does a little more crying and I'm wondering if her face is gonna fall off. Whoever did her lip injections needs to be shot. She finally gets pissed enough at Bo that she runs out of the courthouse.
I have no idea what they're saying here, I'm a bit distracted
It's boringsville over with Carrie, Austin, Lucas and Sami. Carrie's still being a self righteous bitch about the whole, Austin stealing her company thing and is furious at him. Lucas and Sami of course are trying to be "supportive" which in their speak means lying and manipulative to get what they want. Austin offers Carrie a job at his company, creatively named Austin Reed and Company or something stupid like that. She refuses of course. None of the couples in Salem who are meant to be are actually together. I guess it wouldn't be a soap if they were.
Bonnie fakin' it. I'm positive this isn't the only time. Ewe
One couple who I think are fine the way they are is Belle and Shawn. I was a Belle and Shawn fan for years. I was pissed when he went off and got kidnapped by Jan. I hated it when Belle decided to be with Phillip and marry him, but I'll be damned if I want them together anymore. Belle annoys the living crap out of me. She had a gazillion times to tell Phillip she was still in love with Shawn and she never did. Now that Shawn is finally happy with her best friend Mimi, she wants to blow it. Look girl, you had your chance to be with him and you didn't do it. Go cry about it. Just leave him alone. Now that Mimi knows that Claire is Shawn's daughter, she wants to tell him the truth, which we of course all know is the best thing. But Mimi's bitch, I mean mother, doesn't want Shawn to know, in fear that he'll leave Mimi and be with Belle. Man, people on soaps are clueless as to how people will react to certain news. Let's see, what's better, telling them the truth and dealing with it or lying and making it worse? They always choose lying. In fact, Bonnie goes to the extent of faking a heart attack to keep Mimi from telling Shawn. Anyway, just about this time Belle's starting to realize that she belongs with Shawn. Here's hoping she keeps her yap shut, at least until Shawn and Mimi get married which I hope is soon because I love them together. Poor Phillip though, he's just SOL. Won't have a wife or a daughter (or a leg). At least now Claire's better and we don't have to deal with Belle crying every frakin' second.
Marlena being a biatch to John
I've just been fast forwarding through the whole Marlena storyline as well. Okay, we know that Alex has something up his sleeve, we just don't know what. And Marlena, I want to slap this bitch into next Tuesday. I mean I know she has amnesia but she's just going with the whole, "I'm married to Alex" thing, even though her whole family is against it. I'm actually going to be happy when he finally plays her. And I hope John doesn't take her back.
Enough of that, let's move on to Passions where there's a little more excitement...
I'm not talking about the boringness that is Sheridan and Chris. As you know they're in Hawaii looking for Marty. Unfortunately the elusive Otto has been tailing them and hindering their little search. Chris wants to contact the Mob for help. This is the same Mob that was trying to kill him a few months ago, and nearly did. Can they just find Luis already? Geez.
The luckiest woman in the world
I'm also not talking about the drama that is Kay and Fox. Fox is trying to propose to Kay who is trying to avoid it at all costs. In the bowl of sight or whatever they call it she saw that something bad would happen at their wedding. He finally got around to asking her and she said no. Poor Fox, second woman he loved who said no to his proposal. Maybe I won't fast forward the next few days of these two and see what's going on.
Fancy is like most girls, she eats Pitters when she's depressed
In slightly more interesting news, Noah's ex-girlfriend Maya was attacked on the pier. I wish it was me, I don't like this ho. Noah was about to tell Fancy who exactly Maya is and what exactly happened, when they found her. They take her to Noah's house and Eve comes and treats her. Of course Noah gets interrupt about two hundred and fifty times when he's trying to tell Fancy about what happened up in the attic when they saw someone get shot. Maya begs Noah not to tell anyone because she fears they'll kill Fancy if she knows. Why wouldn't they assume she already knows? Fancy is at the mansion stuffing her face with ice cream because she's so heartbroken about Noah's ex-girlfriend staying in his room, even though she's hurt. He really needs to tell this woman the truth. He doesn't have a chance to tell her or not tell her since he goes to help Maya in the shower and Fancy walks in on them. She does what she does best, jump to conclusions. She assumes Noah and Maya are getting it on, even though Noah probably has his pants on and Maya looks half conscious. Of course Fancy runs out and Noah follows her, swearing nothing happened. After some tears and a good slap across the face she forgives him.
Martin and Pilar are still planning on renewing their vows, even though Martin is still in love with Katherine. Okay, so think of the Gwen/Ethan/Theresa storyline and add about twenty years to them, and you have this story. The only difference is everyone likes Katherine, so they're not telling her how wrong this is. In fact, they're basically telling her to fight for him, even though he's still married to Pilar. This really irritates me. Granted, Katherine hasn't stolen embryos or manipulated Martin, but the same reason everyone's giving Theresa for not going after Ethan, because he's married, should really also apply to Katherine. I do kinda want Katherine and Martin together, just like I want Theresa and Ethan together, but Katherine is getting on my last nerve.
At the Book Cafe Simone and Paloma have stumbled on Alistair's files. They were hidden underground in a storage room. Instead of going to the police, they decide to rifle through it themselves. I mean, in theory this is a good idea since the police are most likely on Alistair's payroll, but seriously, what could these two actually find out. I'm sure they've discovered something already but don't know what they have. In fact, I'm thinking they've discovered proof that Rebecca and Gwen sent the information about Ethan's paternity to the tabloid...
As you know, this is a very sore subject with Ethan and his mother, Ivy. They blame Theresa for sending the tabloids the information when it was actually Ethan's current wife Gwen and her slutty mother, Rebecca. I've been waiting YEARS for this damn story to come to a conclusion, and I think it's just about to. Theresa only married Alistair to get him to expose Gwen and Rebecca and they've been feeling the heat. Ethan was going to be transferred to Crane Industries' India office, per Julian, at Ethan's request, but of course Theresa's pulled out all of the stops to stop them. Julian wasn't having it though since he's the head of Crane Industries. Alistair is still in a coma so he had no say. Theresa was able to stop the Crane jet from taking off, but they were just going to fly commercial, and besides, Julian told them that Theresa had no real power as Mrs. Alistair Crane. Boy was he wrong. Theresa tracked down one of Alistair's lawyers and they discovered a DVD Alistair made the night of the New Years Eve party. He said that in case of his death or incapacitation, he wanted THERESA to be in charge of everything. She flips out and is extremely happy. Gwen and Ethan aren't as thrilled. Not only does Theresa stop the plane from taking off, but she cuts up Ethan's credit card so he has no way of renting a room for the night, forcing him to come back to the mansion. She also informs them that any other bank they have a credit card with she probably controls as well. Gwen won't have it and suggests they stay at the Bed and Breakfast in Sheridan's room. I forgot Sheridan's supposed to be running the B&B. Theresa may have lost this battle, but she hasn't lost the war.
I can't figure out what she was going for with this hairstyle
Later Theresa's in the kitchen sporting a weird ass hairdo. I guess it's her "power" hairdo. She has a weird outfit on too, but I guess that too is her "power" outfit. Not very attractive. Theresa meets up with Rebecca in the Crane kitchen and basically kicks her to the curb. Thank goodness. Next she runs into Ivy who slams her for chasing after Ethan, a married man. This from the woman who hired David Hastings to pretend to be Grace's husband so he could steal Grace away from Sam, her husband, so that Ivy could have him. Theresa says again how she wasn't the one who sent the information to the tabloids. Ivy's just pissed because Ethan lost his birth right and won't be the head of Crane Industries. Theresa informs her that that's her whole plan, to make Ethan the most powerful man in the world and give him Crane Industries. The wheels in Ivy's brain start churning and it seems she actually might believe Theresa about not sending the information to the tabloids. In fact, she kinda likes the idea of Ethan running everything, that was her whole point of staying married to Julian when she got pregnant with Sam's baby in the first place. And if you remember, Ivy was there when Gwen threw the disc with the tabloid information into the fire and lied about it to Ethan, saying that Theresa was crazy. Of course she didn't know what was on it, but still. Ivy goes to Gwen and Rebecca and question them about their part in sending the info to the tabloids. Of course, they lie, but something tells me Ivy isn't through with them yet.
Since Theresa is the head of Crane Industries she receives all of the intelligence Alistair's goons have gathered. You'd think she'd just get one of these guys to find out what she needs about Gwen and Rebecca. Anyway, she tells the goon to stop eavesdropping on everyone, and that now that she's in charge she doesn't want anymore spying. He tells her the information is about Ethan and she insists he tell her. He tells her that Ethan's gotten another job, and is planning to leave Crane Industries. Theresa freaks and tries to figure out how she can get him to stay in Harmony.
