Holy sh*t this is scary
Ouch. That's what I was thinking during the end of this show. Bitches can't walk was the other thing I was thinking. This episode was all about walking, easy, right? No, it's not, and the women needed Miss J to show them. If you need a man to teach you how to walk then things just aren't right. But I love Miss J and her honesty, so I'm excited to see some bitches fall.
I know models don't always look pretty without make-up but damn Gina
First though, after elimination and Wendy's exit, everyone's not surprised to see Jade in the bottom two. I'm not either, especially because she's an ugly bitch. This does give her somewhat of a wakeup call that maybe she should get on top of her game and really try to work the next challenges. Here's hopin' she falls. Ha, I'm evil. Gina, who feels extremely vulnerable, and she should because she sucks, gets advice from Danielle. Then she starts following her around the house like a little dog. I know the girl is hurt and with Jade's constant annoyances, needs her mommy, but there's really no reason to follow Danielle around like a Chow Chow.
So the girls finally get to show Miss J how they walk. Personally, I like the tried and true method, one foot after the other, but some girls can't even do that. Most of them walk like they're going to the bank, and some of them try to put a flare on it and just looks dumb. The challenge is made a bit harder, when the girls have to wear clothes. Can you believe that, trying to trip them up aren't you Tyra? Making them where clothes when they walk down the runway. What the hell? Granted, some of them are crazy shapes and flowing, and because of this nasty trick by Tyra, some of the girls do stumble, like Kari, the Fembot, who doesn't just trip once, but twice. The best though is Danielle, who I really like because she's not fake, and she takes great pictures. Anyway, she has on a dress that splits up both sides, which looks like it would be hard to walk in anyway. Well it is, she steps on part of it and nearly falls off the runway. I love the girl, but this was hilarious.
That night at the house most girls are bummed they did so awful walking in front of Miss J. Danielle talks a little about her mother, who has arthritis and she takes care of. Kari calls her family and tells them how hard it is being on television, living in a house with pools and jacuzzis and hanging out with Jay Manual, Miss J and Tyra Banks. I feel for her. Really, I do. Later, they get Tyra Mail which just has some long ass word that I don't remember. Onomatopoeia, something like that. Being models, the girls decide that this means they're going to Spain. Good guess, but no. Furonda says something funny and I remember she's there.
U-G-L-Y
The next day they go to Smashbox Studios and meet some fashion designer guy who I don't know. Not that I know many, my fashion knowledge is limited to Valentino and one or two others. I know the reason I don't recognize this designer, because the clothes are ugly. Who would wear this crap? They look like prostitutes from 1800s England. Oh and we find out what that word was the girls were trying to guess the night before. It means big ass cockroach in Lithuanian. For some unknown reason each girl has to walk down the runway with a cockroach on a leash. This makes absolutely no sense to me, but hey, in the fashion world, nothing makes too much sense.
Most of the girls hate the idea of walking down the runway with this nasty ass cockroach, but they gut it out. All except Gina. She freaks the hell out. It doesn't help that Jade's playing like she's the baddest bitch and loves the damn cockroach, I wonder why. She even goes up to Gina and tries to make her kiss it. She's such a bully. The designer has to literally push Gina onto the runway. Not sure if that's the best impression to leave on someone. In the end it's Jade who wins because she kissed the damn cockroach. Why am I not surprised? The reward is being able to take four people to a fashion show and get VIP treatment. She chooses Nnenna, Mollie Sue, Danielle and Leslie to go with her and they get front row at some no name's fashion show. Whoopi.
Thay night Jade calls everyone in the free world to tell them how great she's doing. She tells her father that her confidence is being confused with arrogance. I don't think there's any confusion. On the other end of the house Gina is whining about how poorly she did. Does she have some sort of deviated septum or something? Her voice is all through her nose.
Gorgeous!
When they get to the studio the next day, Jay Manuel tells them that all good models need to know how to fall gracefully. You know, since most models show up drunk to work and fall down so often. Each girl will dress up like a fairytale and will be falling onto a pillow top bed of some sort. Because like all good fairytales, the woman has to fall and be rescued. Sorry, Women's Studies 101 rears its ugly head. It's a fairly simple task, although falling onto pillows and having my picture taken does seem like a hard life. Danielle does really well, as does Jade (damnit!). Gina of course sucks, and surprisingly, so does Fembot. Everyone think it's a shoe in that Gina's going home because she's so stupid and doesn't take great pictures. Oh and she trips on the runway and has to be pushed onto it by the designer.
Ouch!
At elimination they give the girls the worst challenge I've ever seen. Apparently there's some sadomasochistic designer that makes women walk in unbelievably high stiletto heels. This bitch should be shot. It's not fun or attractive to have women walk around looking like they're going to break their ankles. It's painful to watch. Tyra has the girls walk the runway in these and most of them all and look like they're breaking their ankles. The only person I like watching is Jade. I love to watch that bitch trip. Molly Sue works it though and doesn't trip once. The worst though is Danielle, poor girl. She holds herself together though and when she falls on her way out, ends up crawling out of the room. They have to carry her back to the green room where presumably a doctor looks at her toe, which is probably broken. She comes back to evaluation on crutches.
They start evaluating the girls and really like Jade, damnit. Miss J calls Leslie's walk Buffalo-esque. Haha, that's so true, it's gross. Even though Danielle fell, the judges are impressed that she did so with such grace. And her picture is gorgeous. When it's Gina's turn they're completely disappointed in her. The only good thing about her they say are her cheekbones. They're impressed with Molly Sue's walking, but not as much with her picture. Tyra thinks she still needs to come out of her shell and stop holding back. Kari starts crying when they get to her because she feels she did the worst when walking. When it comes down to the final two it's Kari and Gina. I mean, obvious choice right. Yeah Kari looks like a blow up doll Fembot, but she's gorgeous compared to Gina. So what that she tripped, she took a decent picture. But sadly, it's Kari that leaves us. What the hell are these people thinking keeping Gina around? I guess she creates drama in the house but I can't stand looking at her.
