No one died! It's exciting, and a little bit sad when I'm happy no one died. Doesn't mean I wasn't holding my breath the whole damn show hoping no one would die. Someone else is gonna die this season, I can feel it. Is it wrong that I hope it's Logan?
As the show begins they're showing them wrap up Tony's body. Geez, rip my heart out why don't you. I already know he's dead, no reason to kick me while I'm down. Audrey comes in to Jack and tells him that Henderson has escape. Um, yeah, he can see that. She does have some good news, Chloe was able to decrypt a file on his computer and she got the name of that ho from last episode running around in her skivvies, Collette. In fact, they know where she's staying, in a hotel, of course. Jack lets Curtis know that he wants to come with the tactical team to bring in Collette himself.
"Yes, yes, you're a tool"
Meanwhile, Logan's getting ready to tell the world he's declaring marital law and ruin any chance he may have to be reelected. At first I was against this idea, but now if it means he won't get elected again, I'm all for it. Unfortunately, our alternative is the Vice President who's just a useless as Logan but is a bit smarter. Martha tries to stop him by saying that CTU may have a lead on finding Bierko, but once a man starts a pissing contest, he can't stop. He thinks CTU won't be able to handle the threat after everything that happened, and this is their only choice. She reminds him that Gardner's intentions aren't for the best interest for the country, but Logan just ignores her. He goes out and for a minute I think he may not do it, but ultimately, he does declare martial law. Bierko watches this announcement and basically scoffs at it.
"When can my people start undermining your authority?"
Homeland Security finally arrives at CTU and makes a dramatic entrance, stepping over bodies and what not. Karen Hayes and her little lap dog, Miles, go right to work. She tells Miles that she wants everyone who can work at CTU to be working and that after the canisters are found, that's when they'll take over. I want to not like this plan, but it kinda makes sense. I just know that whenever someone new comes into CTU it isn't good. They don't trust Jack, or whoever's in charge, and they nearly cost the investigation with their tireless questioning and micro-management. Bill tries to play nice when he meets up with Karen, but you can tell he wants to kick her out. She tells him that the White House just wants an assessment and any assistance they can lend. She leaves out the part of them taking over later. Miles goes and checks out CTU's network, I guess in case the nerve gas got into the computers? When Miles asks Chloe where Edgar's work station is since he won't be using it anymore, she back talks him in true Chloe form. He's a little weasel, I can tell already. He asks her for her keycard which she reluctantly gives him.
Get your eyes on the road!
Logan and Gardner watch the news in the situation room and Martha cuts Gardner some mean eyes. She then leaves and when she passes Aaron in the hallway she mutters that she doesn't trust Gardner. Right then Aaron gets a call from Wayne Palmer! Yes! I'm happy with at least one Palmer brother on the show. He tells Aaron that he knows how much David trusted him and asks if he can give him something of David's. It's a brooch their mother gave them when they were kids. I think it's probably a tape of some sort, something that'll blow this all out of the water. Aaron agrees, and really, how can he not, Wayne's on his way up to the compound. Now I'm really excited, it must be good. In with Logan, when the news suggests that declaring martial law could have been illegal, he starts gets angry, doing his best Jimmy Stewart, "Well? Well?". Gardner tries to reassure him that he's the President, so he can do whatever he'd like.
At the same time, Bill's briefing Karen on the situation with Bierko. He says he's confident that CTU will be back to normal soon. And by back to normal I mean no nerve gas killing people.
In the hotel room with Collette, her boyfriend, Stoller, asks Collette about her business. She doesn't want to tell him anything. At this point if I were him I'd think she was some sort of call girl. I high priced one though. She kisses him goodbye and confirms they'll meet at the airport later. After she leaves she calls Bierko and tells him she's on her way over. When he hangs up he tells one of his henchmen that the Distribution Center is their new target and they'll be able to kill 200,000 people. I hope Jack kills this mofo. I'm sure he will.
Back at CTU, Bill's finally wising up to Karen's true intentions. She finally admits that CTU is going to be absorbed into Homeland Security and that she'll be in charge when that happens. He tries to argue with her, saying they just need to restaff and then they'll be back to normal, but she's not buying it. She asks him to keep this to himself for the time being. When Audrey confronts him about why Homeland Security's being such a**holes, he just tells her that it's all just a formality. Not sure if she believes him but at this point I guess she has to.
I don't have anything to say, this is just a cool shot
Jack and Curtis finally arrive at Collette's empty hotel room. Curtis heads to the roof and I'm yelling at Jack to go with him. No CTU agent, accept for Jack, should ever be left alone again. Of course, they should have listened to me because Curtis is jumped by Stoller and loses his gun. Luckily Jack arrives and it's a Mexican standoff. Jack tells him who they are and Stoller claims he's with German Intelligence. He thinks his cover will be blown if they stay. Ah-ha, the player is getting played, I like it. Jack calls Chloe and has her confirm that Stoller's really German Intelligence. She says that there is an agent named Stoller, that he's 5'10'' with brown hair, green eyes, and a Capricorn who likes long walks on the beach at sunset. They confirm that this is the same guy. Stoller refuses to help them and says they've been working too long and hard to give up Collette now. She's going to lead him to a large terrorist cell. Jack tries to tell him about the hundreds of the thousands of people who will die very soon if he doesn't help but Stoller says that his loyalty lies with his country. Hey, I can't really blame the guy, not sure if Jack would give up that information if roles were reversed. Jack takes Stoller into custody. Around this time Collette arrives at Bierko's safe house and the guards frisk her.
"Here, have a drink, brotha"
Jack gets on the phone with Bill and Karen who tell him that Logan can't get in touch with the German government to explain what's going on and force Stoller to talk. Audrey makes the point that it doesn't matter anyway because they won't have him give up this person who's vital to their own investigation. Jack's confident that even without this he'll be able to convince Stoller to help. Yeah I bet he can. He asks Curtis to leave. Oh yeah, he we go, more torture. Damnit, Jack decides to give Stoller something he'll value much more then anything slutty Collette can give him. It's something call the "WET list". I'm sure W.E.T. stands for something but I can't think of it. Worldwide Espionage Taskforce. White Entertainment Television. We Don't Even Tell. Wait, that'd be W.D.E.T. That wouldn't sound as cool. Anyway, the WET list is a list of all known terrorist suspects around the world. Stoller is impressed, although he knows the US and CTU won't give that up. Jack tells him that he doesn't work for CTU. Stoller agrees to trade Collette for the WET list. He also warns Jack not trick him because he knows some of the names on that list.
Jack calls trusted Chloe to get the WET list. She tells him she can't do it. He gets upset until she says that it's not like she doesn't want to, that she really can't because Homeland Security is up their collective asses. Plus, that weasel Miles has her key card. If she had that she could use it to get on the NSA mainframe and download the list to Jack. Chloe tells him she'll get the list. She goes to Edgar's old desk where Mike's is and accidentally spills coffee on him. He leaves to clean up and she takes the key card and is able to hack into the NSA computer from Edgar's computer and send Jack the file, all before Miles gets back. Because he's so anal, Miles thinks something's up but doesn't say anything. Back with Jack, Stoller confirms that it is indeed the WET list. Jack takes the memory card and says that after he gets Collette, he'll give him the card. They leave for Stoller and Collette's rendezvous point, the Van Nuys Airport.
In any other circumstance I'd be lovin' this guy
Collette's ready to collect her dough. She's on the phone with the bank and hands Bierko the thumb drive with the information he needs on it. After the money is transferred she gives him the encryption codes. On the screen is a gas distribution facility. Collette leaves and Bierko and his men move out of the safe house.
Wayne Palmer has finally arrived at the check point before the compound. They won't let him through and check with Gardner to confirm his visit. Gardner's not sure why he's there but of course lets him through. He's also a bit suspicious.
I don't know what I'd do with myself if I found him in my backseat
At the Van Nuys Airport Jack's laying in the backseat of Stoller's car. Jack Bauer in the backseat of a car. So many of my dreams start off like that. Curtis is in position ready to get Collette on Jack's orders. Stoller asks Jack if he's ever been attracted to a woman while he was working undercover. Hmm, what an interesting question. Let's see, there was that big lipped woman in season 3, Claudia, Hector Salazar's woman who Jack had a soft spot for. Oh, and then of course this season, Diane, who I pretty much forgot about until just now. Anyway, Jack doesn't say anything which pretty much confirms it.
At CTU, Bill calls Chloe into the situation room. Uh oh, this can't be good. Miles confronts her about hacking into the NSA and want to know what it is she took. She doesn't want to say, but they pretty much force her. When she tells them it was the WET list she gave to him, they freak out. Karen looks at Bill and wonders how she and her team can give his agents a chance when they're pulling this kinda crap.
The group calls Jack who really needs to put his phone on vibrate in situations like this. Stoller makes him put the phone on speaker. Immediately Karen demands he take the WET list back. Before he can pull his, Jack pulls his gun on Stoller. So bad ass, even laying down in the back of the car. I guess after hearing what Karen said Stoller was afraid Jack would double cross him. Jack refuses to take it back and Karen threatens to have Curtis come take it. Jack says to go ahead, that it'll be her fault if hundreds of thousands of people die. Karen says that since this will affect the United States ability to investigate the terrorists on this list, because of German's now involvement, she'll have to get Logan to sign off on it. Jack asks why she's still talking to him if she needs it and to just get it. Right then Curtis radios that Collette's on her way in. Jack wants Karen to say whether or not to go through with it. She's forced to tell him to go ahead, but warns him that there will be repercussions. He just rolls his eyes and does the hand talking thing to Stoller and hangs up.
Collette pulls into a parking space behind Stoller's car and Jack watches from the rear view mirror. Stoller goes up to her and they kiss. Jack tells Curtis it's a positive ID and they move in. Stoller holds Collette as Jack and the team surrounds her. When Jack has her secured Stoller walks away with the WET list. Jack tells the agents to let him go as he gets into his car and leaves. When Jack asks Collette where Bierko is, she doesn't say anything.
Look, it's like one those trick lighters
As Stoller drives down the street he makes a call to, I guess, his handler or someone, and says that he'll be uploading them something. He puts the memory card in his PDA and after a few seconds smoke and sparks fly out from it. Bad ass! Jack calls him and apologizes. He says that he promises when this is done he'll help him build his case again but Stoller doesn't believe him, since his word doesn't mean bubkis to him anymore.
They've pulled Collette into a nearby hanger and Curtis tells Jack that Collette doesn't have anything on her that would lead them to Bierko. And he really looked. After Jack tells Collette that Stoller was German Intelligence she wonders what his price was to sell her out. She tells Jack that she had feelings for him, and thought he had feelings for her. Jack tries to get Bierko's whereabouts from her but unlike earlier, she's not giving it up. She wants to talk to him alone and Jack obliges. When they're alone she wonders if Jack has a price as well and he says he doesn't. She says that she's not giving anything up until she has full immunity signed by the President. Since Palmer's dead she'll settle for that tool Logan. She does admit to not knowing where Bierko is because they were leaving the safe house when she left.
Collette admits that on the thumb drive was schematics her source gave her, but she never saw them because the source encrypted the files and didn't tell what was on it. When she gets immunity she'll give up her source. When Jack calls CTU and tells them with Collette wants, they in turn tell Mike to start the immunity paperwork. Karen's still pissed about the whole WET list thing but Jack tells her to chill the frak out because he made it self destruct. She bitches about why he didn't tell her and he tells her that Stoller was listening to the call and that she should have just trusted him. Bill sticks out his tongue and says, "told you so!".
Wayne is still making his way to the compound when all of the sudden a black van comes out of nowhere and starts following him. Wayne tries to out run it but can't. Okay, let me just say this, Wayne is in a Mercedes and this truck is like an '87 Ford or something. What's up with that? When the truck pulls up next to him the masked gunmen pull out a gun and shoot the tires out. The car goes off the embankment and flips. Luckily Wayne's able to make it out of the car and run away into the woods, thank the Lords of Kobol.
Collette confirms with her lawyer in Europe that her immunity has been granted and can now give up the information. She tells Jack where Bierko's safe house is. She then tells him that her source is someone in the D.O.D. Someone named Audrey Raines! Jack pushes her against the wall and yells at her that she's lying. Collette says, "Apparently, she had a price." Damn!
