This is getting exciting! I mean we always knew The Race was exciting, even during the Family Edition, but now it's getting good. Even if you aren't watching it fear not, you can pick it up at any time, tune in and I promise you'll be hooked. I mean I'm not talking Jack Bauer promise, but definitely a Terry on Survivor promise.
We're still in the lovely Sicily and Tyler and BJ are the first team out of the gate. They open the clue and are instructed to drive to Catania, about 135 miles away and find an amphitheatre (yes, another one, there's lots in Italy). While they're getting into the car they remark that although they like the frat boys (Eric and Jeremy) they're pretty dumb. Wow, if that's not an on the nose statement I don't know what is. BJ comments that dumb people wind up having the best of luck. Ain't that the truth, especially if they're big boobed blondes. Hopefully, like BJ points out, the dumb luck is bound to run out.
Because of BJ and Tyler's flight last episode, they have a nearly two hour head start on Eric and Jeremy. As E&J are leaving they talk about the hippies and how the guys are nice, and they can tell they have more worldly experience then them. Yeah, but can they chug a beer in less tehn 5 seconds, probably not. Dude. They don't comment on how it's their shear dumb luck that's keeping them going, but pat themselves on the back for getting this far. The rest of the teams start trickling out now. When Joseph and Monica leave, they stop and ask for directions. Joseph comments about how nice it is to have someone stop for them that early and that it would never happen in America. No, they'd stop, then they'd rob you afterwards.
When Lake leaves he tells us what a bad mood he's in because he's sleep deprived. Oh, is that why you're an a**hole? I thought it was because you were born that way. Michelle tries to talk about how they may bicker but they move past it. All he needs to do is give her a quick slap across the face and she's back telling him everything he does is right. Dave and Lori leave and talk about how frustrated they got with each other at the end of the last leg. They say lots of "I love yous" and I start to get worried. I also get worried for last place team Ray and Yolanda because for the 100th time they stop and ask for directions. Can they please buy a map? Please? At least this time the people help them. Joseph's right, these people are nice. It is Italy. As Fran and Barry drive they obviously take the wrong way and it looks like they're clear on the other side of the island. I'm a little happy because that means MoJo and RaYo are definitely still in the game.
The dumbass fell for it
When BJ and Tyler arrive in Catania, they discover the gate they need to get into is locked until 830am. They put a note on the door with a sign up sheet saying the teams are first come first serve and that they're first. As they rest in the car Eric and Jeremy come in and nearly fall for it until they realize it's a joke. When the gates do open at 8:30 the two teams find the cluebox which tells them to go around the small property and count all the heads on the fence. Once they have the number find the groundskeeper and tell him. If they're right he'll give them they're next clue. The guys finish it easily and get their next clue. It's a Detour. This Detour they have to choose between Big Fish and Little Fish. In Big Fish each team member has to carry a 32 pound swordfish through the streets of Catania to a huge market and look for an Italian dude named Jagino who will take the fish and give them the next clue. Little Fish has the team go to the same market place and try and sell four kilos of small Triglia fish.
The two sets of guys both choose the Big Fish one and go grab the fish to carry it. It's disgusting, dribbling fish juices and blood all over the place. Probably not too different from Eric and Jeremy's nights at the frat house. Around this time MoJo makes it to the amphitheatre and run around to count the heads. Joseph gets one less then Monica but decides to trust her counting ability over his. It works out and they head off to do Big Fish. The hippies and frat boys get to the market and find Jagino to gives him the fish. Their clue tells them to drive 40 miles to Siracusa and find Ponto Umbertino. As they start out, both teams agree to follow one another but Eric and Jeremy ditch the hippies right after they leave. When they find the signs that lead to Siracusa it looks like the hippies go the wrong way. To me at least.
Amazingly, Fran and Barry make it to the amphitheatre. I don't get it, they clearly took the wrong way but arrive in the same order they left in. Confusing, editors, just confusing. They spot the fence posts and go around counting them. When they're done, Fran starts calling out for the groundskeeper. Hey, I guess there's more then one way to find him. When they get the Detour they decide to sell fish, a wise choice.
Touring around the city still are the bottom three teams, Lake and Michelle, Dave and Lori, and Ray and Yolanda. They're all stuck in traffic. Lori wants to stop for directions but Dave doesn't think it's a good idea. Apparently he knows his way around this foreign city, saw it in a dream the night before or something. Ray and Yolanda decide to park and make a run for it. Could be a good decision but knowing them it'll be a horrible one. Again, they don't get any help from the locals but Yoland points out it could be his brisk American attitude.
That's gotta hurt
MoJo have now secured their fish and are making their way through the city. Monica starts out in a great mood although she's hauling 30 pound of slimy dead fish. She's great until they get to the market and start their near futile search for Jagino. Would be okay if they weren't asking for every name but Jagino. Fran and Barry arrive around this time to sell their fish and- good holy God! Barry's taken his shirt off and he's hiding a carpet. A gray shag carpet. I guess Fran likes the bear type of man. The fish selling seems to be working out fairly well. Unlike the fish carrying which Monica is having difficulty with. I mean I gotta give it to the girl, I'd have a breakdown too. Joseph gets frustrated and is walking too far ahead of her. She starts crying and the silly Italians around her are laughing. As much as I love these two, I'm laughing too. They finally find Jagino and give him the fish. Joseph's pissed though because he thinks they asked him if he was Jagino awhile before and he said no. Not all Italians look alike. Just the ones with dark hair. Fran and Barry notice them leave and soon sell enough fish to also go. In the car to Siracusa, Monica complains a bit about the fish guts she's wearing but laughs it off, making me realize that even with the breakdown in the market, I still like her.
When Fran and Barry finally get to their car and find the Siracusa on the map, Lake and Michelle arrive. Fran hurries Barry in the car, not wanting to lend any help to Lake. Smart lady. Lake and Michelle find the clue and bicker a bit as they're counting the heads. When they go around the grounds of the amphitheatre to find the groundskeeper they run into a funny Italian man who pretends to be the groundskeeper. Lake shakes his hand and waits for the clue as the man smiles at him. He soon learns it isn't the right person and I'm waiting for some red neck comment but it never comes. Hey, Lake, why disappoint now. The two run to the swordfish guy and Michelle wonders if this can really be the right person, she doesn't want to steal anyone's fish. She's okay marrying a disgusting excuse for a man and procreating with him, but damned if she's not gonna to steal someone's fish. When they head off she says that she's used to carrying around a kid so this dead fish doesn't mean anything to her. I have to give it to her, she does pull through and they find Jagino quickly and head off.
Lake and Michelle leave the fish area and just as they're making it back to the car Ray and Yolanda show up at the amphitheatre. As Lake drives out of the city he insists he's going to hire a cab to take them out. Michelle, with the map, thinks it's a dumb idea since it's not to difficult because she HAS A MAP! He "overrules" her decision right about the time they find the sign for Siracusa. Take that! Ray and Yolanda count the heads and go do Big Fish. Dave and Lori soon arrive as well. They both finish quickly and make their way to Siracusa, Dave and Lori look to be 10 or so minutes behind them.
Finally Eric and Jeremy arrive at the Roadblock. In this Roadblock one member of the team has to get into a kayak and play kayak polo with a professional team. They'll make anything into a sport these days, although there does seem to be some skill involved. Once they make a goal they'll get their next clue. The whole thing would be harder then it ends up being if the players actually tried to play with them instead of throwing them the ball and letting them shoot. I guess none of them would make it if the "professional" players actually tried to play them. Once Jeremy gets the goal he and his boyfriend head off as the hippies are just arriving. The clue tells them to go by foot to the Pit Stop. The hippies do the task and are hot on Eric and Jeremy's tail. (insert sarcastic snort: http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/amazing_race/001901.php)
It's like he's wearing brillo pads on his shoulders
MoJo and Fran and Barry arrive at the kayak and the guys do the task. I wonder how hard it is to put sunblock on a back that hairy. Anyway, Joseph is pretty good while Barry sucks pretty bad. Around this time Eric and Jeremy get to the Pit Stop that's made extra lively by a little mariachi type band playing. They've won a cruise for two which they'll enjoy after the race. Oh yeah they will http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/amazing_race/001901.php. MoJo finishes the polo task and head to the Pit Stop and Barry's still having trouble. After much effort he finally makes it and they too leave.
I've tried to figure out what the hell that is they're wearing but can't. The microphone and battery are my first and only guess
Lake and Michelle arrive and she's pretty apprehensive that she can do it. I'm wondering why he pushes her then I realized later (because I think about this show all of the time) that he's done most or all of the other ones. Since lovely Chip and Kim, they've made the rule that they have to split the tasks evenly. Michelle does it and although she's not getting the shot, she's doing a fairly decent job, even with Lake yelling at her. And can we find out why the hell he's running around without a shirt on? I think the professionals feel sorry for her because they just basically sit there and feed her the balls until she gets one. They get the clue and Lake seems oddly excited to be headed to the Pit Stop. I think he has a crush on Phil, but really, who doesn't...
Especially MoJo who come up on Phil as he's doing a little jig with the band. Phil's from New Zealand, the land of Russell Crowe and his band, you'd think he'd have rhythm, but he doesn't. Cute moment though. Fran and Barry and Lake and Michelle arrive soon after that, or so it looks from fancy editing. Ray and Yoland find the Roadblock and Ray takes it on. I get a bit worried when his kayak flips over because it doesn't look like it's easy to get back into, but he's a superstar and quickly gets in and finishes it just about the time Dave and Lori, supposedly, gets there. Of course since Ray and Yolanda are plagued by not having any sense of direction they're wondering around trying to find Phil. Hey, here's a hint, listen for the music and crowd of people. Dave and Lori finish and start looking for Phil as well. No surprise though it's Ray and Yolanda who show up first. All of the sudden I have the realization that this could very well be a non-elimination round. My roommate quickly points out that the producers would be bastards to make this leg non-elimination because they all smell like fish and would be forced to give up all of their possessions accept the clothes they're wearing. She's right, it's an elimination round and Dave and Lori are out. I'm mildly upset, but not really.
