I was just reading some quotes from shows and realized, I don't have to enjoy these all by myself, let me spread the love. Here are some quotes from some of my favorite shows. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do...
Grey's Anatomy
Dr. Meredith Grey: Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.
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Dr. Alex Karev: Here's the thing - I like your rack.
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: God, what is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so - what is wrong with you?
Dr. Alex Karev: I like your rack and I'd want them around if I could have them, trust me I would, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of them... because really, I'd want *you*. [Izzie slaps him]
Dr. Alex Karev: Ow! What was that for? [she kisses him]
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Dr. George O'Malley: You know Joe?
Dr. Miranda Bailey: Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me except Joe. He knew me.
Dr. George O'Malley: Oh. So you and Joe...?
Dr. Miranda Bailey: All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty. [slaps George]
Dr. Miranda Bailey: That's why you got syphilis.
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Dr. Preston Burke: So, I have a question to ask. I checked the schedule and I noticed that both you and I are off tonight. I made reservations. I have a favorite restaurant.
Dr. Cristina Yang: None of those were questions.
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Dr. Alex Karev: What are you doing?
Dr. George O'Malley: Hiding. There's this VIP patient. He likes me.
Dr. Alex Karev: Well, that's good, right?
Dr. George O'Malley: He *likes me*, likes me.
Dr. Alex Karev: Go for it, man. Get yours, I'm down with the rainbow. [George gives him a strange look]
Dr. Alex Karev: Oh, are you not gay?
Dr. George O'Malley: No.
Dr. Alex Karev: Really? Dude, sorry.
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Dr. Meredith Grey: [about her new roommates] They're everywhere. All the time. Izzie's all perky and George does this where he's helpful and considerate. They share food, and they say things, and they move things, and they breathe. Ugh, they're, like, happy
Dr. Cristina Yang: Kick them out.
Dr. Meredith Grey: I can't kick them out, they just moved in. I asked them to move in.
Dr. Cristina Yang: So what, you're just going to repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted place until one day you snap and you kill them?
LOST
Michael: You're wasting your time, man. If you pick the lock on a Halliburton, I'll put you on my back and fly us to L.A.
Sawyer: You better find yourself a runway, daddy, 'cause there ain't a lock I can't pick.
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Locke: Hey, hey, don't you walk away from me. You don't know who you're dealing with! Don't ever tell me what I can't do, ever! This is destiny. This is destiny. This is... This is my destiny. This... I'm supposed to do this, dammit! Don't tell me what I can't do!
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Danielle Rousseau: You've only got three choices: run, hide... or die.
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Locke: [to Sayid] Okay, I'll tell you something you *don't* know.
Sayid: Please do.
Locke: The first week after the crash, there was a cave-in. Jack was trapped. Do you remember that?
Sayid: Of course.
Locke: You, Kate and Sawyer went out into the jungle to triangulate a signal.
Sayid: [suddenly worried] Yes.
Locke: You were hit from behind, knocked unconscious. When you woke up, the transceiver, your equipment was destroyed. [long pause as both men look at each other and Sayid realizes what Locke is telling him]
Locke: That was me.
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Sawyer: Who are they?
Michael: Don't worry, they're cool. They believe that we were on the flight too.
Sawyer: Well, now... we can sue Oceanic together, can't we!
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Kate: Somebody's in there.
Jack: Sawyer.
Sawyer: Right behind ya, jackass.
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Hurley: [goading Jin into finding out if he can speak English] Your wife's hot!
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Kate: Where did that come from?
Sawyer: Probably bear village - how the hell do I know?
Kate: Not the bear, the gun.
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Rose: My husband's not dead.
Jack: Everyone in the tail end of the plane is gone. They all died.
Rose: They're probably thinking the same thing about us.
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Jack: Sawyer, you know how to use a gun?
Sawyer: There's a polar bear that thinks so.
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Ana-Lucia Cortez: You do what I tell you. When I say, "move" you move. When I say "stop" you stop. When I say "jump", what do you say?
Sawyer: You first.
How I Met Your Mother
Lily: Friends don't let friends drink and dial.
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Ted: So, you're a reporter?
Robin: Sorta, I do those fluff stories at the end of the show, like... Monkey can play a violin. I'm hoping for some bigger stories.
Ted: Bigger... like, a Gorilla with an upright bass? Sorry, you're very pretty.
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Barney: Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.
Marshall: Doo-doo! [laughs]
Marshall: Doo-doo! [laughs]
Barney: [chuckles] Totally.
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Lily: Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?
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Ted: You're not... Moby, are you?
Not Moby: Who?
Ted: The recording artist, Moby.
Not Moby: Oh, no.
Ted: Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
Not Moby: Oh, I thought you said Tony.
Ted: So your name's Tony?
Not Moby: No.
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Lily: [Lily sees Barney hitting on Claudia] Oh, hell. No! [grabs Barney by the ear and yanks him away from Claudia]
Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard until your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
Barney: [confused] Wait... my eyes? Or my testicles?
Barney: [confused] Wait... my eyes? Or my testicles?
Lily: [pause, thinks about it] One of each!
My Name Is Earl
Randy: [to man trying to walk between him and Earl] You can't come between us . . . we're Chinese twins.
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Joy: Is his sister gettin' married? 'Cause if she is and she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid, I'm goin' down to the strip club and slap her off that pole!
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Randy: So Catalina, what are you doing for your mother for mother's day?
Catalina: My mother is dead.
Randy: Oh I'm sorry.
Catalina: Eh, its okay. It was either her or me...
24
Jack Bauer: I'm federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.
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Jack Bauer: The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you.
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Lynn McGill: We met at that memory management lecture?
Chloe: If you say so.
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Bill Buchanan: We're in an active code, Chloe. We don't have time for your personality disorder.
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Jack Bauer: I have killed two people since midnight. I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are now.
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Tony Almeida: I should be there with you.
Michelle Dessler: [softly] You are...
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Chapelle: I'd like nothing more than to hang you as a traitor and watch you jerk until you die.
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[after Teri and Kim are discovered using Eli's phone] Eli: Who did you call? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: [On the phone] I'm the last thing you will ever see if anything happens to my wife or my daughter.
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Chloe: OK, when the alert level goes down, and the terrorists have been caught, we can have some chamomile tea and I'll tell you all my secrets.
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Jack Bauer: [Jack has shot and wounded Nina] You don't have any more useful information, do you?
Nina Myers: [weakly] I do...
Jack Bauer: [notices Nina is inching for her gun] No, you don't.
[fires and kills Nina]
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Chase: Let me be upfront with you, Jack. I look up to you, and I'd even take a bullet for you. Instead, I'm holding a mirror right in front of your face. I know what they did to you when you were undercover with the Salazars. If something goes wrong, I'm always there when you need me.
Jack Bauer: Mind your own business Chase.
Chase: Today is NOT the day to prove that everything is okay and this will be a rough day. Get your head straight man, and do what you got to do.
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Jack Bauer: It's Victor Drazen.
DeSalvo: Who's he?
Jack Bauer: A man I killed two years ago.
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Tony Almeida: You mind telling me what's going on around here tonight?
Jack Bauer: What's going on? You mean besides a 747 falling out of the sky and a threat on a presidential candidate's life?
Tony Almeida: Yeah, besides that.
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Jack Bauer: You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful.
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President Palmer: What are you trying to do? Start a war with the Middle East?
Roger Stanton: No.
President Palmer: Then what?
Roger Stanton: Your defense policy is too passive. You need more resources...
President Palmer: You're trying to hijack my presidency.
Roger Stanton: No, no, no. But, I'd like to give it some balls.
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Nina Myers: He is gonna put a bullet in my head before I can say hello, and then he'll turn the gun on himself.
Jack Bauer: We'll make sure he doesn't turn the gun on himself.
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Michael Amador: You betrayed me, Jack, you were CTU all along.
Jack Bauer: That's right, Amador. You betrayed me, too, I'm just better at it than you.
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Jack Bauer: [to Saunders about putting his daughter in the hotel where the virus had been released] When your daughter is infected, I'm going to make you watch her die.
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Jack Bauer: I used to be in the military. Used to do field work for the CIA. I've been to some horrible places. I've seen some pretty terrible things. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole life.
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Ramon Salazar: What did you learn from Edmunds?
Hector Salazar: He can take a bullet through the hand without saying anything useful.
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[Dina has just learned that Behrooz has been taken hostage by Navi] Dina Araz: If you cannot save my son, then I am happy to see the reactors melt down.
Jack Bauer: [to Erin Driscoll, while on phone] Did you get that?
