I do. I want to slap these bitches silly. I don't normally like calling women bitches, but these girls... bitch is the nicer word I thought of. I would tell you the other word but it's not very lady like. Over the past few weeks the "Beauty Queens" have acted nothing like I would assume women who go through charm school would act.
This seasons The Race has shown us time and time again something called "Karma" and I'm waiting until the day Karma comes and bites those bitches in the ass, because right now, Karma's just taking care of my two favorite teams, which I'm okay with, but come on Karma, catch up!
Instead of matching uniforms, they have matching bras
In the past few weeks we lost the father/lesbian daughter team Duke and Lauren when Duke decided to spend all their money taking a local woman to her brother's house. Okay, so he didn't realize at the time she was swindling him, but man, I would have kicked her out of the car when I found out, but he didn't. Because of that they ended up having to walk from challenge to challenge. We thought maybe Tom and Terry would get kicked off since they disobeyed the rules, and you never disobey Phil! But alas, it wasn't their turn.
Yeah, that'll work
Their turn came the week after, when the teams were in Vietnam. This was one of our first glimpses of karma when the Cho brothers took a real moment of silence at the prison where Senator John McCain was held in honor of him and the soldiers now fighting. It propelled them to 1st place, and poor Tom and Terry got all screw up during the Detour. One of them ended up swimming in front and pulling their boat. I don't know how smart that was, but it was touching.
"Oh look, we wear powdered blue, we're cool, and bitches"
We got our first glimpse also that the bitch queens are just that. At the travel agency they were fourth in line, but when Tom and Terry walked too far, the girls immediately saw an opening and went to what should have been Tom and Terry's agent. I can sorta see their mistake, but personally I would have then apologized and then let them have her, but they didn't. In Vietnam we also realized what a bastard Peter was when he made Sarah do this horrific climb up a mountain. The whole time I was screaming at the TV, "doesn't he realize she only has one leg". And of course, she does that and makes it and then in the Detour he bitches and complains and wants to quit. He's an ass.
Yes, sometimes seeds talk to you. Like if you're DUMB!Luckily his ass didn't stay around much longer. But first, the teams headed to India. The Cho brothers tried to throw Peter off their track, and pretended, with a fake cell phone, that they were calling ahead to book some tickets. It sorta backfired though because then Peter was more determined to get ahead of them. He tried to make an alliances with the Queen Bitches, but as soon as they started booking their tickets, the girls didn't share any information. Was he really surprised at that? Luckily after much yelling and complaining and weird shots of her crying and Peter just looking around or eating like nothing happened, Sarah finally told us that maybe Peter wasn't the person for her. Ya think?
Awe
Unfortunately, David and Mary, along with their alliance of the Cho brothers and Alabama, decide to take a chance and fly to the connecting city without tickets to their final destination. Alabama was able to hop on that flight, but David and Mary weren't able to, and were forced to take a flight that was about an hour later. So they were destined to get kicked off. When they arrived at the mat last though, Phil told them that they were not eliminated. Yay! He also said they'd get to keep all their belongings, but the twist this year was that if they came in anything other then 1st on the next leg, they'd get a 30 minute penalty, which of course could or couldn't knock them into last place.
When the next episode started, I was afraid for my Kentucky team. The teams found out they'd be going to Kuwait City where they had to find Kuwait Towers, a looming landmark. One by one they arrived there and pulled numbers. Everyone eventually bunched up and when the place opened, they opened the next clue, which was a Roadblock. It had a Fast Forward in it, something David and Mary really needed. Because of their alliance, and the fact that they're just nice guys, the Cho brothers blocked the Bitch Queens from going down in the elevator, and pretended they were going for it to, so David and Mary could have it all to themselves. Why those dumb bitches wanted it, being in the front of the pack, but I guess that's why they're dumb bitches.
Run Sheikh Abdul! Run!
David and Mary went off, did the Fast Forward and ended up coming in in first place. Yay again! The other teams finally finished the Roadblock and Alabama got directions from a man right as the Queen Bitches walked up. 'Bama encouraged the guy not to answer them and he didn't. When the bitches finally got in the car, they called 'Bama the "sistas". Yeah, I really do hate them.
The teams then found out the next clue led them to the Detour. This was the dumbest choice ever. You could fill up ten 110 pound bags of feed, and carry it aways, or you could strap a mechanical jockey on the back of a camel and all he has to do is run for a hundred or so yards. Nearly everyone decided to do the bags of feed. Huh? Tyler and James and Peter and Sarah decided to go for the jockeys. Everyone else fills up the feed bags and are done, by the time Tyler and James reach the jockey thing and do it, quickly. They get to the Pit Stop second to last. When Peter and Sarah finally show up at the jockey thing, the message tells them to just go to the Pit Stop. I guess this isn't another non-elimination round. They were eliminated. And thank goodness for that, if he yelled at Sarah one more time to "hurry up" I would have flown through the TV. HELLO, SHE HAS ONE LEG YOU ASSHOLE.
"Look bitch, you can wipe that stupid look off your face or I'll do it for you"
Then last episode the groups made their way back to the Indian island of Mauritius. I knew this girl once from there, she was BITCH. Those Queen Bitches will fit right in. Speaking of bitches, at the airport, Alabama arrived at the ticketing agent just after the bitches and Tyler and James after them. Because the bitches are just that, bitches, they decided to book Tyler and James tickets too. Um, why? Oh right, THEY'RE BITCHES. Just to screw with 'Bama. I'm sorry, I was totally on Alabama's side on this. That was messed up. The girls got irate and damn if I didn't want one of them to smack one of those bitches, but they didn't. Then Tyler and James started to get all rude with 'Bama, who had a right to be pissed. I think the guys were just upset that they got dragged in the middle of it and because 'Bama was so irate, it made them irate. But then they started doing the mocking neck action, and that was where they lost me.
I really want to keep liking Tyler and James, but it's getting harder with their attitude towards the "backpack" which is what they and I guess Rob and Kimberly and the bitches, call the "six pack of 'Bama, the Cho brothers and Kentucky. Um, isn't it Tyler and James who've come in second to last the last two legs? I believe it was. Well, here comes Karma! Tyler and James got lost in the city. Even though Rob and Kimberly are constantly arguing, and Rob treats locals sorta like crap, I definitely prefer them over those bitches. Their car actually stops working and they have to get a new one.
Let's take a moment in this hectic race to embrace the important things in life
The teams find the boat they were looking for and have to swim out to it. Those dumb bitches are there first and swim out, probably a few hundred yards, which can't be easy, especially in the ocean. The Cho brothers finish and decide to wait for their "six pack" while they finish the challenge. We know that 'Bama wouldn't have done that for them, since they said it earlier, but these are nice guys. Tyler and James show up as the other teams are finishing, and see the Chos waiting for 'Bama and Kentucky. In their download they think that the Chos are just aligning themselves with the weaker teams so they can take out the strong teams and then have the weaker ones with them at the finals. Um, this isn't Survivor Tyler or James, or whichever one is talking. There's no sense in that, if they arent' the "weaker" team then they wouldn't have come in second to last in the last two legs. Turd.
This was not the week to quit eating salt
The two other teams finally make it to shore and they decide to do what seems to me is the easier task. They decide to search through a gazillion mounds of salt for a salt shaker that has their next clue. During this whole part I could not get that Salt Shaker song out of my head. "Shake it like a salt shaker! Shake it like a salt shaker!". Anyway, the Chos and Kentucky dutifully wait for 'Bama to get in their car and they go off. Where I don't find this alliance the best idea for the Cho brothers, I do understand their amazing sweetness.
Haha, there's Karma!
A few of the teams decide to do the other Detour, which is to take a boat to some island, look around the island with some rudimentary map and find the sails that go on the boats, attach them, and sail back. On their way to the sail boats, the bitches have a crash. The dumbest one crashes into a bus. Unfortunately Karma's not that great and they get on their way, busted car and all, and make it to the island first. They do get lost though and I'm praying that one of them breaks their ankle. I would say sprain, but I'm not cruel, I know a sprain hurts worse then a break. At the salt field, the six pack, Rob and Kimberly, and Tyler and James, try for awhile to do this, but it's looking like it's just going to be hours and hours looking for the shakers. Everyone but Kentucky opt to do the other task. This reminds me of when the girls from a few seasons ago were doing the hay bails. David decides that maybe this isn't the best one for them to do, since they could be there all night, and they follow the rest of the team to the boat Detour, definitely in last place.
I am so sad, although they catch up to the other two six back teams at the island. 'Bama's in the back of the pack as they race to the Pit Stop. The Chos say that when they get there they'll run as fast as they can to the mat. Kentucky says that they'll wait for the 'Bama girls as the 'Bama girls say they're not waiting for anybody. But it's really a moot point when David and Mary decide not to follow them off one road and the Chos and 'Bama make it to Phil first. Phil recognizes that 'Bama is sad and one of them says because they know who's in sixth.
I wonder which one is Miss New York
Sure enough, David and Mary come up what seems like only a few minutes after and Phil tells them that they're the last to arrive. But then he says that it's a non-elimination leg. WHAT?!? I love it!!! Two in three is amazing!!! Again, they don't have anything taken away, but they have to come in first again. Some people who aren't familiar with production may think the producers are rigging this. I promise you, they aren't. The Amazing Race is an intricate, closely woven schedule. These producers have scouted and made arrangements for all 12 or however many legs there are. There's no way they could say, in the middle, that they're going to change the plan. They've predetermined all of this stuff. It's not man made, it's Karma!
