If you've ever watched American Idol you may already know this... There is something seriously wrong with Paula Abdul. But now I think I figured it out.
For some reason she agreed to have a TV crew follow her around for her new Bravo show, Hey Paula. I was sorta excited to see this because I thought it'd show a glimpse of her life and dispel any rumors about her being crazy or a drunk. I mean, why would you agree to this if it put you in a bad light, right? Well, that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Paula comes off as a crazy, drunk, diva bitch. Case in point. Idol is about to start up so she has a few press junkets, but her time is mostly spent doing events and taking care of her own stuff. She has to fly off to New York or somewhere to show her jewelry on QVC. Her time slot is 1am. That should tell you something. She's taking the late night flight out after the Grammy's here in L.A. and has less then an hour to make it to the airport when she wonders out of the Grammy parties and trips on the street looking for her limo. In the limo she changes out of her dress for the plane ride and realizes her assistant didn't bring her comfy pants, instead she's going to be forced to ride in the plane with her black skinny jeans. The horror.
Yes, packing your own bags and have people shuttle you to and from where you need to be can be, PaulaWith less then 15 minutes until her flight takes off she refuses to get out of the limo at the airport until her assistant finds the right pants. Her publicist, who travels with her, is pacing the LAX passenger loading zone waiting for Paula to emerge. They have her bags open and searching for the right pants. They don't find them but Paula, who's in near tears, tells them to at least find her comfy shoes. Her assistant hands her some black boots into the limo and Paula's pissed because she wanted her white shoes. I know this all sounds trivial, but this should explain a little bit about the diva bitch she is. She's complaining about her assistant because the girl didn't pack HER bag correctly. Bitch pack your own bag! Once they're at QVC the next day, she's floored by the state of the jewelry she designed. I don't really understand what her problem was, and I don't think the QVC people did either. I have to say, once she's on camera she's great, a little nutty, but great.
Does Design Imposter Perfume have a "Crazy" line?
The best part in the two parter that aired last week is what we can assume is the next day. Now, I worked in reality TV and one thing I know is you can never trust the times that flash on the screen. We're told that it's 8am on day one, and she heads to the company that's working on her perfume line. They start the meeting and then the time tells us it's 1pm. If you notice, there are wine glasses on the table in front of Paula, and she's in this crazy Straight Up outfit with gold buttons. Bare with me, that'll mean something in a second. Anyway, after the meeting she's quite loopy, and goes down to the science floor or whatever to see how they're creating the fragrances. She's slurring her words, wobbly, and very silly throughout. At one point she drops the paper tester strips on the floor and stays down there, crouched, while she smells them. It's so embarrassing, and I'm not sure how her publicist agreed to do this show.
On her way back from an fashion awards ceremony which we're told is later that night, and that she was late for and took her sweet ass time getting to as they announced her name and the host had to stall, we're told that Paula is an insomniac as her day ends, close to 4am. They tell us that she has to be up at 6am that very same day. Which means she's going to get very little sleep. To ensure that the team stops at Starbucks for a jumbo latte or whatever she's drinking. Maybe that's the problem Paula!
We're told that the next day she's doing a press junket for American Idol. If you remember, this is the same one that was highly publicized because the ho was a bit nutty during it, i.e., drunk. This is where the shirt from the day before comes in. She's wearing the same shirt which makes me think that this happened on the SAME day as the drunken perfume meeting which means she's STILL DRUNK from that when she does the junket. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. Of course, they preface this segment by telling us that Paula's fighting the flu and very sleepy from not getting any sleep these past few days.
Although I know the tricks of the trade, I usually don't pay attention to them because I know they're just added for dramatic effect, like on the Bachelor when they want you think the couple has only been out a few hours when in production time, it's probably a lot longer then that. But this, this is the publicist and attorney working overtime to make it look like Paula wasn't drunk during this and actually sick and tired. She goes nutty, the whole time her publicist keeps repeating how tired she is, but also admitting that when she gets tired, because of, we're told 40 interviews she's doing that day, she gets loopy. No shite Sherlock.
I have to say, as horrible as this show sounds, I can't stop watching it. I've even Tivo'd it. Why, you may ask? Well, mostly because I want to see how they can ever spin the show to make Paula look good, plus, I want to see her be crazy and diva like. If you catch just one episode, you'll get to see how a true diva acts and appreciate someone like Kathy Griffin, and her D-list attitude a little better.
Did I tell you I'm addicted to Bravo?
