Okay, so I know that's harsh, but they really deserve it. And I also know that this is solely an entertainment TV, sometimes movie, blog but it's my damn blog so I'll talk about whatever I want. And today I want to talk about the patronizing, deaf bastards at Verizon. Hopefully this will help convince someone to either not buy a Verizon cell phone plan or beat up the next Verizon representative they see.
I woke up yesterday morning phoneless. Every time I tried to turn my phone on it would immediately turn off. I opened the back and checked the battery, even though I had no idea what I was looking for. Everything looked fine. I mean, I gueses it did. Nothing was seeping out or gooey or anything like that. Luckily I'm not one of those people who live by their phone and one day without having it wasn't too bad. Last night I took it to the store where they told me it was water damaged. How, you may ask, did they know it was water damage? Because there is a small dot on the inside of the phone that turns red. Seeing that the phone hasn't touched any water, I was curious as to how it turned red. The biatch told me that it was because I dropped it in water. I told her that this phone lives in my purse, on my dresser, or in my hand, and that there is no way it was dropped in water...
Her:
I'm sorry, the dot is red, that means there's water damage.
Me:
But I didn't drop it any water.
Her:
The dot is red.
Me:
Take the phone apart and look at it, there is no water damage to this phone.
Her:
But the dot's red.
Me:
So you're telling me that last night, after I went to bed, someone snuck into my room and dropped some water in it?
Her:
I guess so.
Me:
What am I supposed to do then?
Her:
Buy another phone.
Me:
How much is that?
Her:
Well, since you don't have insurance, and water damage voids the warranty, $400.
Me:
But there's no water damage.
Her:
The dot's red.
I almost threw my phone at her, but didn't want to get arrested. I tried yoga breathing, and that helped a little. When I got back to my apartment I decided to call customer service. Surprisingly I wasn't on hold for three hours. I explained to the lady about what happened and she said that it sounds like my phone has water damage.
Her:
Sounds like your phone has water damage.
Me:
Yeah, well, it doesn't.
Her:
The dot's red.
Me:
And the dot's never wrong?
Her:
No.
Me:
Well it's wrong this time because there's no water damage.
Her:
Sounds like the battery has water damager, that's what the red dot means.
Me:
So if the battery is damaged, I can just get another battery.
Her:
You could, but if it's water damage, it could have seeped into the phone.
Me:
Are you even hearing me, it's not water damage.
Her:
But the dot's red.
Me:
What about this morning when I took the battery out? The moisture from my hand could have done it.
Her:
Maybe, but I doubt it. Could have been humidity.
Me:
But I live in California, it's a desert.
And I didn't say, but should have, that I'm also black. What does this have to do with it? Because if I even look at water my hair puffs out like Buckwheat. If there was humidity in my apartment I would know about it.
I don't appreciate being called a liar, and that's what Verizon was doing. So, imagine my surprise when last night I decided to plug my phone in, just on the off chance my battery wasn't charged. Guess what? It worked! The battery wasn't charged and that was the problem. Seems the LCD was on the entire night before because I had my hands free plugged in and it drained the battery. It has nothing to do with water damage. And guess what??? The red dot was wrong, bitch. If I had a d*** this is where I would tell Verizon to suck it. Okay, that wasn't nice. But really, they can kiss my ass.
