Last week we were treated to the season finale of America's Next Top Model. As you probably know, Danielle won it all. After thirteen or so weeks of trying to find the best up and comming model in America I think the judges got it right. Finally. Not that I don't like the past winners, Nicole and Naima are the only ones I watched before this and who doesn't know Adrienne from the first one. They were fine, although the second Naima found out she won her head grew about fifteen times its normal size. Seriously, normal sized head before her image flashed on the screen, ginormous head the second it did, yelling, "I won! I'm so happy" and then telling us in her download that she knew she was going to win, blah blah. Not very humble.
What a dumb ho
The last episode of the show had three girls vying to be ANTM. Joanie, Danielle, and Jade. Yes, I did say Jade. And do you think the weeks of the judges telling her in their own words what a stuck up bitch she was changed her? No, not only did it not change her, I think it made her more of a stuck up bitch. She was completely oblivious to the fact that maybe these judges know a thing or two about modeling. Yeah, I make fun of Tyra and her big forehead talking about modeling, but the bitch knows what she's talking about. So thank my lucky stars was I happy when she was the last person voted out. She still didn't get it, doing some weird poetry as she was leaving. I hope she watches this back and realizes what a skank bitch she is. Probably not, she'll probably think something's wrong with the 129797 people on the show who couldn't stand her.
So the last half of the show was just Joanie and Danielle. I like Joanie, she seems like a down to Earth girl. She's pretty and takes great pictures. The only thing that was wrong with her was that damn tooth they removed a few episodes ago that had her looking all snaggle toothed. After they removed it she still wasn't comfortable smiling. And who would be after twenty odd years of having a troll mouth.
The judges tell the girls that the only thing wrong with Danielle is her accent. This season the judges have been particularly harsh on the girls. They made fun of Danielle's gap which in reality really wasn't that bad. Nothing like the mole that needs to be gnawed off of Cindy Crawford's face. Granted, when they made fun of Leslie's duck walk that was justified because it was so unattractive. And Joanie's tooth. Anyway, the way they made fun of Danielle's accent was really unfair. Give her a speaking coach and she'd have that accent licked in no time. If you just tell her, "don't talk like this, talk like this", who would understand that. Especially if they don't know they have an accent to begin with.
It all came down to the final runway show in Thailand. It was a long ass runway over water, but not in water like two years ago. The girls were dressed in some weird ass Asian duck suits that I didn't get. Danielle worked it out. She even gave Nigel a little wink when she passed them. But hey, who wouldn't wink at his hot ass? Joanie was okay, but she spent a lot of time looking down at the ground, which were covered in rose pedals, making it a bit slick. Danielle slid a few times but kept working it. In Tyra's words she was FIERCE. That's what won her the competition. And the fact that she's six feet tall and drop dead gorgeous didn't hurt either.
In the end I'm extremely happy Danielle won. She was the prettiest, seemed to be the nicest, and even after she was hospitalized with exhaustion and dehydration, she worked it out with a beautiful shot on top of an elephant. That's a model. Good luck Danielle.
