Another show that we're getting down to the wire and I'm excited to see who can pull this off. I know I've been talking about MoJo and how much I've liked them for this whole show, but damn if they're not turning into a**holes. And, the Frat guys, I'm not totally irritated with them. I'm sure that'll change.
As the teams start out, Eric and Jeremy and MoJo are first out of the gate after their near simultaneous appearance at the mat last episode. Eric and Jeremy tell us how much they like it that the hippies and MoJo are fighting. I'm assuming because it means they may not be bringing their A game, but something tells me it's because they're just douches. Sorta anyway. MoJo tells us how much they hate the hippies for whatever reason. Monica also says that they're usually not mean outside of the race, and they're surprised they're such a**holes to the hippies. I am too quite frankly, although I think The Race really brings out your true colors. The two teams come together and borrow a cell phone to call a cab. The clue tells them to go about fifteen miles to the Swan Bell Tower to get their next clue. It's nearly midnight, so my guess is it'll be closed and they'll bunch up again.
The hippies leave just minutes later and the other two teams are waiting for the cabs. Eric and Jeremy playfully don't give them information, not confirming or denying anything really. Mojo on the other hand is downright rude. When the cars come they point out that the cabs are theirs and when one of the guys leans it to ask their driver to call another cab Joseph tells him to get away and not talk to their cab driver. Douche. After the two teams leave BJ and Tyler finally figure out that there's a guy standing nearby with a cell phone and call for their own cab.
About a half an hour later Ray and Yolanda leave. She talks again about how this is the most time they've spent together and now she knows the sound he makes when he brushes his teeth. Do people do it differently? I mean, sometimes I hum, or say the alphabet like the dentist used to tell me when I was a kid. Maybe he moans because he likes the taste of peppermint.
MoJo arrive at the Swan Bells and they find out that it doesn't open until 8am. True, I did write this after I saw the show, so I knew they were going to bunch up, but it was inevitable. Monica approaches a man on the street and asks him if there's a place they can sleep the night. He tells her that she can stay with him for free. Ewe. He turns to Joseph and says he was joking, then waits a beat and says that he wasn't. Ha, that's funny. Joseph just looks at him since he has one of his boys with him and doesn't say anything. Way to defend her honor you tool.
The Frat guys show up, followed by the hippies. Then finally, Ray and Yolanda finally show up and they tell them about the 8am opening time. Ray and Yolanda walk away and one of the frat guys, I think Eric, mentions that Yolanda has Ray on a short leash. Yeah, either that or you're all morons who she doesn't want to spend time with. Joseph comments that his leash is five feet long. Oh, that's his leash? Monica claims she doesn't have him on a leash and from what I know about the couple from this show, I believe her. Joseph was just trying to fit in with the guys. Eric wants to get on this leash thing and since he only has Jeremy, he pipes in that he doesn't let Jeremy out of the house.
Over with BJ and Tyler, they astutely figure out that Eric is flirting with Monica. Eric flirts with horses and poles too, but that's beside the point. The hippies think they can take this flirting and get under Joseph's skin, and then that will make him not bring his A game. Yes, now we've really started playing the game.
The next morning before the doors open, Ray calls a cab and tells them to wait for him, and they'll know him because he's a black male. Does he even want the cab to show up? BJ and Tyler also call a cab. Eric and Jeremy and MoJo go to some little shop and use the fax machine phone to call a cab, reserving it under some dumb name. I'm wondering what the hell he could be doing but then he calls the cab company back and cancels both Ray and Yolanda and the hippies cabs, as MoJo watches. This is so underhanded and mean, and I really wish Ray and Yolanda or the hippies would have thought to do it to MoJo or E&J.
The Bells finally open and the teams run off to get the clue. When they find it they learn they have to fly to Darwin and go to a crocodile farm 1700 miles away. When the teams get downstairs, BJ and Tyler hop into the first cab they see, telling the man that they called for a cab. MoJo is right behind him and the driver says that he's there for Joseph. Eric helps the situation out by telling the driver that BJ or Tyler is in fact "not Joseph". At first BJ and Tyler are adamant that they're staying in the cab, as Joseph keeps telling them to get out. After a minute the hippies give up and let MoJo in. Walking along after they're forced out, Tyler says that it wasn't worth getting into something . BJ's pissed though and says that it was sorta worth a million dollars. Damn, how great is that, you can finally use that line.
Australia looks a lot like Southern California
Ray and Yolanda have finally figured out that their cab isn't coming and call the company again. Low and behold, they find out that their cab was canceled. This is where my dear old friend Karma comes into play. Karma and I go way back (http://primetimetvblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/karmas-filthy-whore.html) And while the Frat guys successfully blocked BJ and Tyler and Ray and Yolanda from getting to a car, their cab doesn't show up. Yolanda's pissed and soon she goes to Eric to complain, saying that "they" canceled the car. Since Eric and Jeremy's car hasn't shown up either, they just assume it was MoJo and Eric doesn't argue. Luckily BJ and Tyler get a car, as do Ray and Yolanda, leaving Eric and Jeremy to ponder the true force of Karma. In the car on the way to the airport Yolanda comments that black people wouldn't get into ponds with crocodiles. Ain't that the truth sista. But then she pauses and says, "or would they", which is funny because they would, for a million dollars. Too bad Tyler doesn't want to be mean for a million dollars.
At the airport MoJo is trying to find the best flight out. They try and bribe the ticket agent to not tell any more of the teams when they arrive, and he wants to know what it's worth. Joseph, being a Rhodes Scholar, says it's worth a million dollars. No you idiot, what's it worth to the ticket agent. Nothing I guess. He doesn't know how to react to that so he quickly says that Monica will kiss him. What's he a pimp now?
The rest of the teams show up, one by one and BJ and Tyler are first in line behind MoJo. BJ wants to know what happened with their taxis and tells them that someone canceled them, obviously being coy and saying it's them without coming up and saying how frakked up it was that they canceled the taxis. Joseph just ignores him and I don't know why he doesn't just turn around and say that Eric and Jeremy are the ones that did it. I wonder if the group is watching the show now and seeing that it wasn't MoJo and feeling bad because they were so mean to them. Probably not. Ray and Yolanda also start wondering what happened and Joseph plays dumb. When BJ and Tyler say that it was Eric and Jeremy who said that, MoJo are surprised, since it was actually Eric and Jeremy who did it. Just say it you bloody bastards. Better them think you were involved then them think you did it.
When Eric and Jeremy finally get there I'm waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan. In fact, it almost does, when Monica says to Eric that everyone thinks they did it. Unfortunately, none of the other teams are paying attention to this and don't pick up on the fact that it was Eric and Jeremy who did it. BJ makes some comment about Eric and Monica's flirting and everyone rolls their eyes. I kinda do too because it's just silly at this point.
The four teams get on the same plane, and the next thing we know we're in Darwin. They all grab a car and drive to the crocodile park, which is closed. There's some banter between Monica and Tyler, with him commenting about not only the bugs being attracted to her, but Eric as well. Eric has a pretty decent comeback, something about putting meat around Joseph's neck so the crocodiles will eat him. Good one E, good one.
The garbage. I bet they found these hats in the garbage.
The next morning the place opens and the teams warily go in. We can see where the clues are, in the middle of the pond dangling above the crocodiles. Now, I have to admit, these crocs aren't crazy like the one that ate Captain Hook's hand, and dare I say a bit cute. Not cute like 'awe, I want to pet it'. Cute like 'awe, I don't want to kill it with a shovel'. The teams put on their crocodile protective pants and wade into the water after very little instruction. Basically, don't put your arms down and don't pick up your feet. Not sure if Jeremy can do both of these things at once. As they're doing this, BJ has on a top hat. I thought they lost all their stuff before. How come he has the hat? Ah, I know, must be Jeremy's. Hot. They get the clue and find out they have to drive to Batchelor, to an airfield. Great, they're doing skydiving, or skydiving. Uh oh, there's a Yield ahead. I wonder who everyone's going to want to Yield.
BJ and Tyler and MoJo get out first, which is great, because you know whoever gets there first will Yield the other. As they drive MoJo inches ahead of the boys by mere seconds, with Tyler saying he's already going fast enough. Tyler is the p*ssy of the two. When they finally get to the airfield, MoJo is slightly ahead still. All four are ready to run. MoJo pulls into the parking spot and BJ and Tyler just stop the car and get out and run, leaving them actually a bit closer to the Yield mat, so they arrive first. Of course they Yield MoJo, which is great. She starts crying like a baby as Joseph is telling her "There's no crying on The Amazing Race!". Dumbass Tyler actually says, "Sorry guys" as they're walking away. Seriously, grow some balls dude.
I *heart* sperming?
BJ and Tyler open the clue and guess what? It's a Roadblock and this person has to skydive, in tandem with an instructor. The other teams get there and although they give MoJo their apologies, why wouldn't you be happy someone besides you is Yielded? They all go do the fun skydiving while MoJo's forced to cry and complain. BJ, Ray, and Eric (who seems to be in this episode a lot) go for it. Monica's still crying and Joseph's telling her not to cry. BJ goes up and comes back down before the sand runs through the hourglass (and so are the days of our lives) Eric next, followed by Ray. We finally get to hear Jeremy talk and he tells Eric that he hopes his chute opens up. Wow, that's nice. When the guys are up, Jeremy takes this time to flirt with Yolanda, saying that if she wasn't with Ray he'd be all over that. He has such a way with words this guy.
The next clue tells them to drive twenty miles to some sort of termite invested mound area to find their next clue. When BJ and Tyler run by MoJo, Tyler and his stupidly gives a thumbs up or nod or something, and I have a feeling Joseph screamed some obscenities, but we'll never know. Joseph then tries to get Monica out of the crying thing and asks if she's pumped to jump out of a plane. She says she is, but she's really not feeling it. He notices and they start arguing again. Arguing so much that they don't see the sand run out of their hourglass. After probably only fifteen seconds or so they notice it and she runs off to do the challenge. The funniest moment of the night comes when Ray finally lands. He's tandem with a man and they're on the ground, in a spoon like position. Yolanda says, "Oh that's so sweet, he's holding you and everything." I'm cracking myself up just writing that. Ha. Good one Yo.
Even though that was pretty funny, when BJ and Tyler get to the mounds and find the clue, BJ tells Tyler not to touch the mounds because termites will eat all the wood in your body. Ha-ha, whoa. The clue at the mounds says that this is a Detour. Wet and Dry. Okay, getting a little better, still not rhyming, but at least those are opposites. In Wet the teams have to basically wade through a river what I think is like a mile or so past insects, and snakes and all around nasty stuff. Once down the river they'll find a bridge with their next clue. This one seems fairly simple since they're not going upstream, but I'm not down with being anywhere near spiders and snakes, so I would choose Dry. In Dry, the teams have to drive to this remote part of the jungle, off-road it a bit and then when they get to a designated place, get out, pick out a didgeridoo and then follow the didgeridoo sounds. Once they find the aborigine with the same pattern on his didgeridoo, they have to sit down with him and each play a note on the instrument. All that sounded real pornographic, but remember, we're in Australia where didgeridoo is a long instrument that makes a low Australian like sound.
BJ and Tyler choose Wet, as do Eric and Jeremy, who are hot on their tail. Ray and Yolanda do the Dry one, since Yolanda can't swim. I think if they had known that the river was only about chest deep, they would have done that. Thank goodness they didn't though because they make it to the place, find their didgeridoo and play it way before the guys make it out of the jungle. In fact, MoJo make it to the didgeridoo place and play it, just about the same time the guys are finishing with their mile down the river. They pass a bunch of spiders, but I'm not going to talk about that.
The clues they get tell them to go to the Pit Stop at Lake Bennett. When we see Phil he's next to some guy with a whip and I wonder what the hell Phil's home life is like. Anyway, for the first time, Ray and Yolanda a) don't get lost and b) come in first! Yay! I love that.
On the road to Lake Bennett, the three teams converge, yet no one really knows how to get to where they're going. Eric and Jeremy flag down an ambulance and so BJ and Tyler stop as well. Tyler, ever the brainiac, asks Eric and Jeremy where it is they're going. Okay, so maybe MoJo's comments about them aren't that off. Tyler also yells for Eric and Jeremy to wait for them. I have to give it to Eric and/or Jeremy, they don't yell out of the window wondering if Tyler has rocks for brains, because that's what I'd do. As the three teams are racing down the road, there's a pixilated shot of what we assume is Joseph flipping BJ and Tyler off. Let me tell you why I find this impossible. We're looking at this through a mirror, and we're seeing the left side of the car, which we all know is not the driver's side of the car in Australia, it's the side of the car the cameraman sits on, so this clearly isn't Joseph flipping them off. He may flip them off, but this isn't it.
Dumbass
When they get close to the Pit Stop, all the teams worry that they are in fact, the last three teams, and Ray and Yolanda are in front of them. Monica moans that she can't beat the hippies in a foot race, and like a good boyfriend, Joseph tries encouraging her. When they finally get there, they make a mad dash to the mat. Eric and Jeremy are clearly the leaders since they probably think some hot Australian chick is waiting for them at the mat. How foolish they'll feel when they realize it's just a guy with a whip. Monica is taking up the rear and BJ and Tyler have this thing won. Unfortunately, someone switched BJ and Tyler's brains and made BJ the dumb one. Instead of going down the bridge, edging out Monica, he decides to go through the lake to try and beat her, since he clearly didn't understand that he was already ahead of her. They show us a slow motion finish which shoes BJ come in just miliseconds after Monica. That stupid f*ck. Sorry, but that was just about the stupidest thing I've ever seen someone do. Monica's standing there with a snide look on her face because she knows she beat him. Phil checks them all in and then when he gets to the hippies he annouces what we all knew, that this is a non-elimination round. Unfortunately, since BJ's a frakkin' fool, he doesn't have any pants or shoes on. I'm happy the hippies are still in it but I want to punch them in their funny faces at the moment.