Is it wrong that I miss the camel toe?
The teams start out from the Pit Stop, the druggie best friends, Tyler and James at the front of the pack. Wait, that's not fair, they're clean now. Former druggies. So they say anyway. Let's hope they don't travel to Amsterdam. Although, that'd be awesome, the two of them high, running around the city. Ha, yeah. Say no to drug! Wait, before I go on, can we talk a minute about the way Tyler and James are sorta in love with each other. They're always so close when they do their downloads. Even on the mat they seem closer then usual.
The first five teams end up bunching up though because they find out they're going to Mongolia by bus and then train. The first five teams make it on the first bus that leaves at 12am, and the second group leaves at 2am. That's a pretty big gap, I hope they bunch up again because all the teams I really like, Kentucky, Tom and Terry (yes, I like them now) and Erwin and Godwin are on the second bus. As they're waiting, the teams bond. Mary tells us that she and David have never met an Asian person before, and they had never met gays. Then the music dropped out, Mary smiled her brownie smile and said in her accent, "I like 'em". This is why I love Mary and David.
Luckily when the teams arrive at the train station, the train doesn't leave for awhile, so the teams do bunch up. Yay. Dustin and Candice, the so called "Beauty Queens" decide to sneak off to the side to see if there's another train that runs earlier. Um, I don't see any point to this. You're in the train station, you'd think you could just look at the schedule or something, not be all sneaky and use someone's cell phone. I have to keep reminding myself that they are "Beauty Queens". Tyler and James figure out that the girls are up to no good and follow them. Nothing really happens here, except the girls being busted because like I said, they're ALREADY in the train station. Idiots. Also at the train station, outside, Peter and Sarah are surrounded by some locals who are interested in seeing her leg. Peter says that for money, she'll run around and show them how it works. Of course, she does it and then no one pays up, because really, would you pay to see that? I wouldn't. Plus Sarah didn't work it right, she should have gotten the money up front. That's what any good pimp will tell you anyway.
Once the teams get to Ulaanbaatar, they all rush to cabs. Kellie and Jamie, Tom and Terry and this years obnoxious couple, Rom and Kimberly, end up at the temple first. The show goes on every ten minutes, and when the doors open they rush in. They see some sort of ceremony and at the end they're given their clue which tells them to drive themselves to Terelj and choose horses to ride to their next cluebox. They head out to it.
Unfortunately, Kellie and Jamie, the cheerleaders, don't seem too good with direction and get lost on their way to Terelj. The next set of teams, which include Mary and David, decide to ask for directions after leaving the temple. Mary and David even go as far as to get a guy to get in the car with them to direct them. The bad news is that he directed the group off the road and into mud. They wasted time trying to get out and waiting for a replacement car and went from third to nearly last.
The road to Telelj was paved with problems, or good intentions, depending on if you're an optimist or a pessimist. Cheerleaders Kellie and Jamie had problems even getting out of the city, going down side streets, not navigating very well at all. Tyler and James ended up popping a tire. Rob and Kimberly stopped momentarily to check on the boys, and offer their jack since the guys' jack wasn't working, but theirs wasn't removable and they had to leave the guys on the side of the road. Lyn and Karlyn drove by and the guys begged them to stop and they didn't. It was sorta messed up, since it would have taken just a moment to see if they were alright and eventually give them a jack. They didn't know what the problem was, and continued on. Don't feel sorry for the guys though, some local guy ended up helping and they were right back in the race. Kellie and Jamie had more problems when their car stalled and they couldn't figure how to turn it back on. Um... Give me a "K". K! Give me an "E". E! Give me a "Y". Y! What's that spell? Turn the key and push the clutch you dumbass!
Nearly at the horses, Sarah switched her leg out to the foot instead of the metal thingy. Good thing too, these horses were feisty. She was able to get on, but one of the beauty queens wasn't and went flying off, with the horse even pulling her a bit. These horses were a**holes. I don't even know if they're even horses, they were about three feet off the ground. One of them knocked Kimberly off it's back where she fell on her ass. Ha-ha! I would have done the same thing, but it was mean.
As the teams arrived to the next clue, they learned it was a Roadblock. In this Roadblock they could "Fill It Up" or "Take It Down". In fill it up they had to take metal canisters to the river and fill them up, and then come back and fill up some sort of receptacle. The only catch was that they had to lead some sort of ox animal down to the river. In Take It Down, they had to take down a hut type thing and tie some knots, and replicate the demonstration. I thought at first this would be the easier one, but as Sarah and Peter tried it, I realize how difficult it was, because they had to be precise with the knots. Sarah started to get frustrated and Peter started acting real condescending and told her to calm down, and to not talk.
The beauty queens then showed up and started doing the Fill It Up task. Once down at the water one of them used her shoe to fill it up. Um, this is bad because of two reasons. One, you have to put the wet shoe back on, and that can't be fun. Plus, the people might be trying to drink this water later, and it's gonna taste like feet. A whole bunch of other teams showed up now, most of them choosing to do Fill It UP.
Eventually, Sarah and Peter got fed up with the Take It Down task and they switched to Fill It Up. Unfortunately, the ox like creature kept running away from them (which was sorta funny) and Peter was doing that projection thing, telling Sarah to calm down when he really needed to. She told us in her download that she's been observing the way he's acting and not sure if she likes it. Not sure?! Girl, don't put up with that. Kick him with your good leg! The ox like creature is so bad they go to the Take It Down again.
The beauty queens finish everything and get their next clue which tells them to drive 47 miles to Hotel Mongolia. They start to leave and one of them realizes her hat's missing. I guess this fury hat is essential for riding one of those little horses and they go in search of it, as other teams finish up and start leaving. Peter and Sarah finish the task up quickly and head off to the hotel.
Rob and Kimberly have the worst time it seems, communicating at least. Rob's in the back of the cart with the water and Kim's pulling it. It's not exactly the inside of the Bentley back there and it hurts to be sitting there. She's trying to control the animal but can't really. He starts yelling at her and she yells at him and she starts crying, because most women can't express themselves any way but crying. Lyn and Karlyn and David and Mary are finishing up the water about the same time. David offers a bucket of water to Lyn and Karlyn, again reminding me how much I love these two. David and Mary and Tyler and James race to their cars on the horses. Erwin and Godwin also finish up. They've lost their hat too and try to find it, but they make quick time and get it. On their way to the hotel their car breaks down. Who ordered these shoddy ass cars? Some guy on the side of the road stops and helps them get back in it. Tom and Terry are off too.
The cheerleaders finally make it there after all their car trouble and direction problems and see the beauty queens just standing around. They think they're just hanging out, because really, that makes the most sense. Eventually one of the nomads finds the girl's hat and they run off. Just about everyone's on the road and although Duke and Lauren start out in second place, they get lapped by a few teams, causing Lauren to get a bit bent out of shape with her dad.
Peter and Sarah arrive at the Mongolian hotel first. They make it to the box and it's a Roadblock. In this Roadblock one team member has to participate in an agent Mongolian training exercise, archery. They have to shoot a flaming arrow 160 feet into a target on the ground, lighting it up. Once they do that they can run to the Pit Stop. Peter decides to do it and the druggies, eh, former druggies, sorta gay guys show up. Peter hits the target the second time and they race to Phil who tells them they're in first and they've won a vacation.
Tyler and James are a bit frustrated at first, but eventually finish in second. Lauren and Duke get there and since Lauren's a lesbian she thinks she can do this, which she eventually does. Tom and Terry get fourth place.
A bunch of teams get to the hotel together, Rob and Kim, Erwin and Goodwin, Mary and David and the beauty queens. The beauty queens finish first, followed by Rob and Kim. Mary and David finish up even though David was having issues with it and saying Mary should have done it. As they're hurrying to the Pit Stop Mary twists her ankles. She guts it out and they get there in 8th place. Erwin and Godwin eventually finish up and now it's down to the two sets of ladies.
The cheerleaders finally realizes they've gone the wrong way and turn around. Tensions are high when we know a team's arrived but fancy editing doesn't allow us to see who it is. We do though, and it's Karlyn and Lyn. They finish and Phil tells them they're in 9th place. The cheerleaders eventually show up and try and try and try to do the task, but can't. Knowing they're in last place they just give up. Phil tells them they've been eliminated and I don't really care.
