"Hi, my name is Caleb. I like bunnies."
So I'm reaching for the handrail, am hoisting myself up, but haven't quite gotten back on the Desperate Housewives bandwagon. I'm almost there, but not yet. It's like a roller coaster for me, up, down, up, down. Kinda like the Star Trek movies. Every other one is good.
Watch out Dr. Ron, there's a skeleton chasing you!
Of course we see Susan, going out with her cute Dr. Ron. He drops her off for the night and she does just about everything she can think of to coerce him into coming inside. Finally he admits that he wants to jump her bones. And I mean literally jump her bones (har har), but he doesn't think it's ethical because he's still her doctor. Personally I think he crossed that line when he started hanging out with her outside of his office, but hey, what do I know. Showing a moment of weakness he kisses her on her doorstep. Later, when she's at the hospital for a check up before her spleenectomy (remember she has a "wondering" spleen), she learns from the nurse that this will be the first time he performs this procedure. Okay, so what kind of doctor is he? Emergency room? Neurologist? Spleen doctor? I have no idea. Susan's not too keen on him operating on her sleen, ha, ha, yeah. She's especially concerned after watching him cut into his steak. He says this is a good opportunity for him, but she's still not having someone this new at it work on her. Ron storms out. Susan goes to the hospital later to tell Ron that she's done playing games with guys. She does her normal Susan rant, and when she's done he says that he sent her flowers with an apology note, but because she was in the hospital stalking him, she must not have gotten them. Where the hell is Julie? He says he won't be her doctor anymore.
There's a short little blip about Edie and Carl. Apparently, guess what, Carl's an ass. He basically rules the house, and every time Edie wants to do something, she has to defer to him. She's sitting on HER couch watching a movie and Carl comes in, picks up the remote, and changes the channel. Okay, that would be grounds for divorce and a good ass kicking in my house. I use violence. Edie, on the other hand, uses the only thing she's good at, sex. She seduces him up to the bedroom and ties him up, saying she'll go downstairs for some whipped cream. She goes downstairs and plops on the sofa, turning her movie back on. That's great, good ol' Edie.
Tom trying to get a job with Lynette
Over at Lynette's, she's trying to figure out an ad campaign that she can pitch out the next day in a meeting. Because Tom was an ad exec before Lynette manipulated his boss into not giving him a raise and he quit, Tom offers to help her figure it out. As he's going through ideas, we realize that he's not too good. Makes you wonder how he had this great job to begin with. The next day Lynette calls him to say they got the account. Of course she modified his ideas to make them better, but he takes a lot of the credit. That night she comes home and asks him if he knows anyone who can fill the position at her company. He suggests himself. She tells him she meant the janitorial position, but she's cool with that. He meant the other position. She doesn't think the idea's a good one since they still have Penny, and Nickle and Dime. Luckily Quarter's already moved out to his own place with his older brother Silver Dollar. He reminds her of the day care she manipulated, er, fought so hard to get. He says that he really wants her to put in a good word for him. She says no. In true Scavo fashion, he shows up the next day for an interview. Lynette's not happy about it and he says that he needs to do this, because a little part of him still hates her for what she did with his last job. She agrees to let him interview for it and he's great. Of course, she tries to shed some bad light onto him, bringing up a job he got fired from, and asking him about projects that he takes full credit on but didn't work on solely. Lynette's boss likes him a lot and offers him the job in the room. Lynette doesn't like this and insists they check out his references. That night at home, they talk about it. He says again how much he wants this. And she says okay, but on one condition, after this, he has to never bring up what she did to him at his last job, ever again. He agrees to it and says that he's already forgiven her for it. So the Scavos are now a two job household. I'm wondering what they're going to do with their assh*** kids after school since most people don't want to be anywhere near them, but I'm sure they'll manipulate, er, figure it out.
Whoa
Gabrielle and Carlos are in church on Sunday and who is also there? Sister Mary 80s Hairdo. Gabrielle shouts "Son of a Bitch" in church and everyone turns around. She blames the old foul mouth lady with Tourette's behind her. Carlos has to meet with her outside of the house since Gabrielle doesn't approve. And why would she approve, this biatch is suggesting to Carlos that he annul his marriage to Gabby. Now you know I'm no Gabby fan, but this is really underhanded. Carlos approaches Gabrielle and asks her about them having kids. She says she doesn't know when or even if she'll be ready again. He uses this time to bring up the annulment. She knows that biatch Sister had her hand in this and goes to Father Crowley for help. She goes into the confessional and starts to tell him about Sister Mary and her inappropriate relationship with Carlos. Father Crowley assumes she's talking about sex and is stunned that the nun would do that. Afterwards, Gabby goes right back into confession to tell the next priest the lie she just told. Carlos is stunned to learn that Sister Mary is being moved to a church in Alaska. Gabrielle goes to the church to gloat, but instead, the two get into a heated battle. It's great, they're hitting and biting and rolling around on the floor. At one point Gabby shoves her into some candles and her arm catches on fire. Gabby helps her put it out but the woman goes after her again. Another priest has to pull them apart. When Gabrielle gets home Carlos confronts her about the fight. She says she's stupid to be mad at Sister Mary, she should be mad at him. During one of the few touching moments with her, she tells him that she's his wife, and if he loved her, he wouldn't put pressure on her. She tells him to choose either her, or having a baby. He chooses her, and she tells him that she wants to have his baby.
At the Applewhites, Caleb is out of his room and Matthew has put newspaper up in the windows of the spare room. Newspaper, it's the new curtain. Betty wants to know why Caleb is out and Matthew says he doesn't think it's right that they're keeping him downstairs. Betty wants to know why he's not listening to her about this. He says it's since he shares the blame. True.
"Look Betty, there's a black man in your window"
So we know that Danielle, Bree's nasty daughter, is hooking it up with Matthew Applewhite. Well Bree doesn't know it, at least not until tonight. Matthew and Danielle are hooking it up in her room and Bree knocks on her door. Matthew quickly hides and Bree comes in and starts collecting Danielle's dirty clothes. As she picks up one item she sees Matthew's arm underneath the bed. She asks, "Is that a black man under your bed". Matthew comes out and Bree takes both him and Danielle over to Betty's house. When she tells Betty about finding Matthew, Betty does what all mothers would do, slaps him across the face. Both Bree and Danielle are stunned to see this, and later, Danielle cries in her room about it, frakin' baby. Bree apologizes to the little brat, saying she didn't know Betty would act that way. Betty is furious at Matthew, who stops talking to her. Caleb mentions Danielle in passing and it scares Betty. We haven't gotten the whole story yet, but I think he pulled a Lenny on a young girl in the last town and that's why they're hiding him. Bree goes to Betty's house and suggests maybe they let the two kids hang out, just chaperoned. Betty doesn't like the idea and as she's talking, to establish Matthew's whereabouts, we see him working in the yard. She glances up to the second floor window and sees Caleb. She quickly agrees with Betty that the two kids should stay away from each other. Bree goes to her recycled papers, even though it looks like it's a year or so's worth. She finds the picture of Caleb in the paper from after Gabrielle fell down the steps and realizes that was the same guy she saw in the window. She forbids Danielle to see Matthew, stupidly telling her about seeing Caleb in the window.
Later, Danielle and Matthew meet in the park. Danielle asks him if he has a man living in that room. (not sure why they didn't put him in the back bedroom) He's, at first, apprehensive about admitting it, but she tells him that she has secrets too. Like that time she switched her mother's coffee to Folger's crystals. He says if he tells her his, she'll have to tell him hers. Bree puts a call into her poker buddies to hurry over because she has news about the Applewhites. Before she can talk to them Betty shows up. She asks Bree how she would feel if she told Carlos, Gabrielle, and the police about Andrew running over Mrs. Solis. Betty basically blackmails her into keeping quiet. The girls arrive for poker and ask about the dirt she has on the Applewhites. She can't say anything and the girls are surprised to see Betty emerge from the kitchen. Bree says that her news is that she's invited Betty to their weekly poker nights. Now, Bree is a smart lady, I'm sure she can manipulate something or someone to have the truth about Betty come out. And quite frankly, I think Andrew should go to jail.
