Is it wrong that I want to kick so many people in the teeth? Not Phil though, never Phil. The teams finally make it to a country I've been to and love, Italia!
Eric or Jeremy being Eric or Jeremy
The teams start off in Germany with Eric and Jeremy opening their clue, directing them to fly to Sicily. Once there they'll go by taxi to a 100 year old Opera house where they'll find their next clue. Since it's the middle of the night I'm thinking they're going to bunch again. Eric and Jeremy get to the airport and everything's closed. They do find out that there's a fast flight to Italy on Alitalia that gets in at 2pm. Eventually Lake and Michelle and BJ and Tyler get there as well. Since nothing's open BJ and Tyler and Eric and Jeremy play a little wheel chair racing. Lake and Michelle go downstairs to the Internet cafe and try and book the seat on the flight. After BJ loses he and Tyler decide to go down to the Internet cafe and look up flights as well. With Lake standing over her, Michelle searches furiously for the right website to book the flight. Unfortunately, all of the settings on the computer are in German so she doesn't know what to do. Somehow BJ and Tyler find the right page and book the flight. Why Michelle doesn't then go to their computer and look up the "history" I really don't know. Actually, I know, she's a moron like her sexist pig husband. Looks like the flight may be sold out either way and BJ and Tyler were able to snag the last seats.
Everyone starts arriving and the ticketing counters start to open. All flights go to Munich but there's one flight that leaves a bit earlier and gets team in about thirty five minutes before everyone else. BJ and Tyler are on that flight. Fran and Barry find out about it and try to book it just as Lake and Michelle walk up to them. Fran insists they step back and is quite rude since she doesn't want these two losers to figure out their plan. Michelle is upset saying that Fran is a doctor's wife so she should act like one. What the hell does that mean? These two are so uppity.
Imagine their surprise when in Munich they see Dave and Lori, Fran and Barry and MoJo go to another flight. It's great when they realize the other teams are ahead of them. In the back of the pack, who we know will be fighting not to get eliminated, are Dani and Danielle, Ray and Yolanda, and Lake and Michelle.
Once in Italy, Eric and Jeremy get delayed in Rome and land just behind BJ and Tyler. They take a taxi to the Oprah (ha, I mean Opera but that was too funny to take out) house and find their next clue. It tells them to drive 40 or so miles to Castellammare del Golfo. As all the teams arrive it's Lake and Michelle and Dani and Danielle who find themselves last. One of the girls doesn't know how to drive stick very well (I find that hard to believe) and it costs them to lose some time.
BJ and Tyler arrive in Castellammare del Golfo and find their next clue which is a Detour. Foundry or Laundry. Those don't really sound alike, but I'll go with it. In the Foundry one the team has to go to a metal working shop and get a 11o lb bell and drive it to the foot of some steps. There they have to carry it all the way up the steps. Probably won't take that long but it's extremely physically demanding. In Laundry they have to find an intersection that's lined with laundry. They'll search all of the lines for the marked piece of clothing and then take that to an old lady who will give them their next clue. BJ and Tyler find the marked piece of clothing fairly quickly and their next clue tells them to drive thirteen miles to Segesta to find an archeological zone. Once there they'll have to hike about a mile to the Teatro di Segesta amphitheatre. The yield is ahead.
He's wwaaayyy too comfortable
Eric and Jeremy show up not soon after and after they find the clue wonder if the hippies will yield them. Since you can only yield once, it's not really that smart to yield a top team right now. The best is to yield someone that you're in the bottom with to assure they'll be at least fifteen or so minutes behind you. Once BJ and Tyler get to the amphitheatre they discover it's a Roadblock. In this Roadblock one of the team members has to piece together a statue. The catch, what the teams don't know, is that they'll be two extra pieces. Tricky Amazing Race, tricky.
About now all the other teams start arriving at the Detour. MoJo decide to do the physical one and at the end he just carries the whole damn thing up the steps. When Fran and Barry see the bell they realize there's no way they're going to be able to do that one. Ray and Yolanda also carry the bell and he does the same thing. Dave and Lori decide they can't do that either and go for the laundry. Dani and Danielle show up just moments after Lake and Michelle and know they're in last place. Still they just slowly walk to the Detour. Kicking in the teeth. Still trying to control myself. Run you dumb bitches, you're the last team and you know it. Lori finds the tag and they run off with the clue just as Ray and Yolanda are asking for directions. R&Y get all flustered and run off before confirming the directions. Unfortunately this causes them to get lost. I hate fancy editing!
Michelle finds the tag and Dani and Danielle complain that the game is all luck. Yeah, luck and moving your slutty asses. Sorry, I just get irate when people complain about having to work to get something. They finally find the tag and head off to the amphitheatre.
Bowling Moms!!!
Meanwhile, Tyler figures out that there're two extra pieces and gets the clue, telling them to go to the Pit Stop, just down the hill at a temple. They quickly run down the hill and find Phil standing there. Phil tells them that they've won a digital imaging package. I'd rather be on a safari, but hey, that's just me. When Eric and Jeremy get there a bit later Phil can tell they're upset. No women to hit on during this leg I guess. They tell Phil that they're disappointed they're in second place. Bunch of bastards. Second place! You could be last and be going home and instead you're complaining because you're second place and didn't win the digital imagining package. Tools!
At the Roadblock everyone is confused with the two extra pieces but eventually figure it out. MoJo finish and get third place and surprisingly Fran and Barry come in fourth. The best part of the night comes with Lake and Michelle finally getting there and running for the amphitheatre. Unfortunately, or fortunately, they run the wrong way and accidentally meet up with Fran and Barry and Phil at the temple. They have to run back up the hill and get to the amphitheatre. Where the hell are Ray and Yolanda!?! Dani and Danielle get to the parking lot just as Lake and Michelle run past them on their way back up to the amphitheatre. When they get to the Yield they rightfully Yield Dani and Danielle, no one realize that Ray and Yolanda still haven't made it through.
"What, like, I can't believe they've, like, Yielded us"
When Dani and Danielle get to the Yield and realize they've been Yielded they start crying like little babies. Yeah it sucks to be Yielded by that douchebag but suck it up. Use it and don't give up. Who am I talking to though? Danielle thinks that Lake and Michelle are obviously threatened by them. Yes, you're right, they are threatened by the other last place team, good assessment. I laugh a bit. Lake is doing the Roadblock and screaming like a banshee. He's such a turd. Dave and Lori are still working on the statue as well and aren't having great luck. Lori can't figure out where the last two pieces go. She gets frustrated and starts breading down. Dave's not helping much either.
Lake finishes the task and he and Michelle run off just in time to see Ray and Yolanda making it up the hill, sure that they're last place. Lake decides to do his good deed for the day and rushes them on, saying they can still beat Dani and Danielle whose sand had run out just minutes before. Ray hurries up and starts putting it together as Dave and Lori finish and head to the Pit Stop. Because Dani took her damn sweet time trying to put the statue together, thinking they're in last place, when they see Ray run up she starts doing it fast. Of course her faster isn't that fast and lovely editing makes it look like Ray goes through it within minutes. Ray and Yolanda finish and head down what looks like moments before. Of course Ray and Yolanda can beat the girls in a foot race, although Yolanda does point out that the girls may surprise them and come flying by. I get worried when R&Y have to stop at a map to see where they're going in the dark even though it's the thing lit up in the distance. Good God. Luckily they make it there in time and it's Dani and Danielle who get eliminated, all because of Lake and Michelle's Yield. Ha, this is great TV.
