I'm sorry, but Idol has been so boring lately. No one can really sing. I think what happened is I watched the first episode of Nashville Star a few weeks ago and all ten of their finalist can blow. It was actually embarrassing to think fo the finalist on Idol and compare them with these people. Paula's still on crack and Randy's just becoming jaded or something.
I do feel sorry for the first person every week. Most likely the judges will rip them a new one. This week's victim is Lisa Tucker. She sounds awful. I want to gouge out my own eyes. She sings a Kelly Clarkson song and I'm waiting for Kelly to run on the stage and beat the crap out of her. I know she's only sixteen but she butchers it. The judges agree with me and Simon even goes as far as to say it was painful.
Is that Debbie Gibson with her?
Kellie's next and she sings country. I'm so bored. We get two shots of Kristy Swanson during Kellie's time and I wonder what the hell's going on. Yeah she was on Skating with Celebrities, which I couldn't bring myself to watch, but she also stole someone's husband. Because Kellie's only the second to sing the judges weren't that impressed either.
Oh look, he has a scar, we have to vote for him now
Get out your ear protection, Ace is about to sing. He tries "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. I love that song. Not anymore. If I drive down to the studio and kick Ace in the nuts do you think he'll sing any better? Probably. Ewe, and he decides to show us his chest scar. He's got those boy band moves down. Someone shut him up please. When Paula's making her comments and they mention his scar, Paula tells Ace to tell her the story later, in her dressing room and then licks the side of the cup. What's that about?
Clay? Taylor? Clay? Taylor?
Next up is Taylor and Ryan points out a little boy in the audience that has his hair dyed like Taylor's. It actually looks like he's sprinkled some baby powder in his hair. I won't make fun of the boy, he's probably just living through his mother's sick twisted fantasy to get him on TV. Taylor's about to get a quick plug in about his fan club, the "Soul Patch". Wait, no, that's not it, the "Soul Patrol". I really like Taylor and I'm happy when he does a good job. Randy doesn't like it though but of course Paula's drugs are starting to work their magic and she likes it. For some reason Simon compares him to Clay Aiken. Yuck.
Taylor's been out in the sun too long, but I'm glad to see she- he's dyed his hair back
Mandisa's singing a gospel song. Yes! No. It doesn't really work out. The first half is just her talking about Jesus or something. She comes out from the back and it's just too much for her to walk, she gets winded. I can feel for ya sista, but you shouldn't have tried it. The last half of the song is pretty good though, she can blow when she's not trying to dance and sing at the same time.
What's up with the dude's hat in the back?
Chris Daughtry is next and he tackles a Creed song. It's way too heavy metal for me but his voice sounds nice. I just like this guy, I think he can sing anything. I just wish he didn't sing with his head cocked because that's truly getting on my nerves. When we flash to the judges at the end I notice Randy put on some lipstick. I guess that's cool, whatever floats your boat. Maybe he kissed Paula. Ewe. Of course Paula liked the performance.
This isn't the Grand Ole Opry
Oh no she di'int. Katharine's singing Christina Aguilera. She starts out rough but I've gotta give it to her, she doesn’t sound half bad. Christina can sing her ass off, so to do that song and not sound like total crap is impressive. The judges loved it and Simon thinks she sounded almost as good as Christina. I agree. I like the girl but the whole Katie Holmes thing is still bugging me.
Awe, sweet Bucky is next. I really like this guy. He's so southern it kills me. He does Tim McGraw. I wanna do Tim McGraw too. I mean sing his songs. Gutter I tell ya. Bucky decides to dance. Bucky shouldn't dance. He does a little side moonwalk. I don't know what that's about. I think he sounds pretty good and the judges aren't that harsh on him.
Argh, Paris is up now. She really does bug me. I wish I liked her. No I don't. I don't care that I don't like her. She sings a Beyonce song. Yes, a Beyonce song. This chick has more fake hair then Tina Turner. She dances around the stage and tries to sing the song but I'm not impressed. Paula stands up. I think it gets the drugs flowing through the system better or something, can't be the performance. She claims it is though. Simon isn't as much a fan as normal and says "So what, whoopi". Finally they're hopping off of this bandwagon. She's cute, get over it.
Yes, he's that short
Lastly is Elliott. I love this guy, I think he has a great voice. My only problem with him, besides his teeth, is that he just stands there. Chris can blow AND he runs around the stage and has a presence. As well as Elliott can sing he has no presence at all. I love his rendition of the song and the judges basically think he did a good job as well.
The next night is elimination and Wyclef Jean is performing a song with Shakira. I can't stand this girl with her hips and shoulders and breasts that are small and humble. They give a good performance but why is she dressed like a belly dancer? Hate her. On to the real (boring) show. I'm certain it's going to be Bucky tonight. He's been in the bottom three before and although I love the guy, I think he may be the weakest singer. The bottom row is told they're safe, and then Ace is called up to the bottom three. Not surprising either. Lisa's called up, and then it's between Bucky and Katharine who the final person in the bottom three is. Of course it's Katharine? What? What the hell is going on? The audience doesn't like this, and they don't like it that she's still there when Ryan sends someone, Ace, back to the chairs. Okay, so you know who gets kicked out, Lisa. I can't say I'm surprised to see her go. What am I surprised at though is they play that damn Daniel Powter song again, "Bad Day". The guy's CD must have been produced by Simon or something.
