That's definitely my motto. I never rat out my bitches. I rat out my hos, but never my bitches. We were treated to Janice Dickenson time, and by that I mean a crazy old lady running around with pumped up lips and fake boobs pretending she's young and intelligent. We were treated to Janice a few weeks ago in the first episode, but nothing will ever compare to Janice at her finest, on the Surreal Life, claiming she doesn't drink and straddling Jose Canseco at a strip club with a thong (damn I wish I had a picture).
"Not yet, but I will be if you keep hounding me"
Anyway, back at the house, Gina's still feeling down about herself because Kari's the one who got kicked off instead of her. I'm with you girl, it should have been your ugly ass, but it wasn't. Suck it up. Things aren't helped by Jade and her skanky ass. Nnenna on the other hand is on the phone with her boyfriend who obviously has trust issues. He wants to know if she's met anyone while she's been on the show. Does he watch the show? It's girls cooped up in a house for however long. Yeah, I guess she could hook up with one of the camera guys, but that's highly unlikely. Insecure is the first word that comes to mind. And I understand why because they show us his picture.
The next day the girls head to the studio and meet up with Janice and her crazy ass. Actually, it's not just her crazy ass there, it's crazy Lisa from last season that liked getting drunk and talking to trees. Anyway, Janice and Lisa are there to give the girls some posing tips. Well, it's Janice giving us the tips and Lisa just looking awkward and out of place. She's telling us the difference between a commercial shoot and an editorial shoot. In basic terms, the editorial is serious and the commercial is fun. Like a Versace ad versus a Sears ad. Janice tries to give some advice, which means she tells the girls what's wrong with them and makes them want to cry. She doesn't like the fact that Brooke came to this looking like she just rolled out of bed. I have to agree with her there. Janice also mentions how Gina should really get more self confidence. To give her some, she makes the poor girl hop around on one foot. I don't know what that was supposed to do but Jade thinks it's funny. After a few minutes of wondering who Janice plastic surgeon is and wanting to find him so I can kick his teeth out, they all decide to go to dinner.
"That bitch right there"
Janice joins them and all the girls sit around and talk. Jade thinks she and Janice are best friends now because they sit next to each other. They do have a lot in common, like being ugly bitches. Janice calls Gina over and sits her on her lap. She wants to know who in the house is giving her trouble. At first Gina doesn't say anything but after staring into the collagen lips she's mesmerized and blurts out that Jade's been causing her some problems. Jade looks confused, I mean, why would Gina call her out like that, besides her being a crazy ho. Janice pushes Gina off and tells her that the sacred rule of modeling is never ratting out your bitches. I thought it was "coke is good" but I guess not. When they're driving home Gina cries to the girls in her car about why Janice would be such a bitch and why Jade doesn't like her. Later, when they get home, Jade is on Gina's bed and Gina flips out. I mean, flips out like starts making my ears bleed with her nasal voice, telling Jade that she's done with her. She says other stuff but the dogs next door started barking and howling and I couldn't hear over them.
The next day is a photo shoot. It's hosted by some male model I didn't recognize but is hot for an older guy. The girls have four different set ups. In each one they have to look commercial. It's set up like each season and each girl has to change into outfits fast, run to each set up and then change again until they're done. Surprisingly, even though Jade laughs at Gina the whole time, the model says that Gina has potential. At first the model and photographer think Nnenna is a little stiff, but once the shoot starts and her pictures look so great, they realize that she's just focused. Again she wins the challenge. The prize is all of the outfits the girls were wearing that day. Ewe, I hope she doesn't get Jade's hand me down.
Unfortunately, when Nnenna gets home her good mood is dashed when she talks to her not so cute boyfriend. He's being possessive and jealous, all the things that keep a good relationship alive. She doesn't want to be distracted and when he keeps yammering on about it, she hangs up on him. Thankfully.
Gorgeous!
The next morning the girls get to meet Tyra in her 9x9 dressing room on the Tyra show. They don't get to see the show, or even watch from the green room. They just meet up with her and she asks them what they want to do when they finish their modeling career. Some sooner then others. Tyra's really into this since she always wanted to be a talk show host. Too bad she sucks.
At the photo shoot we understand why Tyra was asking all of these questions. Jay Manuel tells them that they'll be doing an edgy editorial that displays what they're career goals are after modeling. Luckily, they'll be doing it with male models. Holy hotness. All the girls are happy, especially Danielle who remarks that they've been cooped up in the house too long with all the nagging, PMSing and fighting. Then she thanks Jesus. I love this girl. They all have aspirations, and you know what, I don't want to bore you with them. Let's just note though that Jade wants to be a Kindergarten teacher. Holy sh*t! I hope that never happens because those kids will be messed up. As more proof of how much I like Danielle, her aspiration is to be a singer, even though she can't carry a tune.
Do you think this is the best angle to catch the light?
The best comes from Nnenna. Since she already has a degree in chemistry, she wants to use that to become a drug researcher in Africa. Her man is hot. She thinks he's hot. They start the shoot and get really close. And when I say really close, they end up kissing at the end. But that's not the best part, the best part is he becomes, ahem, aroused, and has to run off to let the blood drain back out. Yikes. That night she calls her boyfriend and he's able to get out of her what exactly happens. He's pissed and hangs up on her. What a tool.
Work that hat, girl
They get their Tyra mail and it's off to elimination. Once there Tyra gives her same tired ass speech about what the girl who wins gets. Basically a bunch of nothing. For the challenge at elimination, the girls have to give the judges three commercial poses. Gina is just awful. Why is she there again? Oh right, high cheekbones. The girls are then given a firefighter's uniform and have to pose to look editorial. Danielle works it out. Again, Gina is just sad.
Damn this bitch is ugly
Again, I don't want to bore you with the girls evaluations, but it's basically this, Danielle was great, Furonda and Joanie surprised them and Gina sucked. Nothing exciting happens in deliberation except they talk about how much Gina sucks and Miss J actually thinks Nnenna is boring now. She's just jealous. I'm not going to beat around the bush, they kick Gina off, and thank the Lords of Kobol for that. I'm sick of her nasally whining. When she hugs all the girls at the end even Jade gives her a fake hug. Hopefully that bitch is next.
